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Making love to a beautiful woman

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

is... very much like laying a carpet. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Costs a fucking fortune though

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"you might like to try an underlay."

Only if she's Spanish...

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

Can't say I agree

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

Swiss? Is that you??

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By *upcake and wandmasterCouple
over a year ago

long eaton

Hey Toni,

Hows the car sales going?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hey Toni,

Hows the car sales going?"

Great, but you always have to make sure they're washed as...Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

[Removed by poster at 07/11/23 13:35:35]

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

Going fishing is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use.

Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied.

Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"is... very much like laying a carpet. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay."

That's beautiful man , I've got tears in my eyes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"is... very much like laying a carpet. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.

That's beautiful man , I've got tears in my eyes."

With all that crying, maybe you need therapy...And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You... get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

They exist?

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By *rRiosMan
over a year ago

dublin


"you might like to try an underlay.

Only if she's Spanish..."

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

at this moment I'd like to thank my parents for the thumping with the ugly stick

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

...is like taking the car in for a service. You know it's going to cost you but do it anyway.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else


"is... very much like laying a carpet. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.

That's beautiful man , I've got tears in my eyes.

With all that crying, maybe you need therapy...And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You... get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money."

*spits coffee on my phone laughing*

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London


"spits coffee on my phone laughing"

Spitting coffee on your phone laughing is very much like making love to a beautiful woman …

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"spits coffee on my phone laughing

Spitting coffee on your phone laughing is very much like making love to a beautiful woman …"

...Try desperately to hold it in, go red in the face and spray it all over, just hoping it hasn't gone into any of the wrong holes.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton


"Costs a fucking fortune though "

Go for a short one, less square meterage.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Costs a fucking fortune though

Go for a short one, less square meterage."

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By *azza72Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"is... very much like laying a carpet. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay."

Shag pile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This forum thread is underrated...like making lo...

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"Costs a fucking fortune though

Go for a short one, less square meterage.

"

Costs more per metre in the first place. False economy.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

What’s this making love you talk of OP?

A good hard fucking works wonders

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What’s this making love you talk of OP?

A good hard fucking works wonders "

A good hard fuck is a lot like buying jewellery for a beautiful woman. First you check the size of her ring to make sure it will fit.

Then you end up giving her a pearl necklace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is my guilty pleasure atm

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