FabSwingers.com forum: I'm sorry if this is very mum's netty

By *ablo minibar123 OP Woman
over a year ago

I genuinely don't know what to do. Ok think hypothetically, say you had a family member that you never want to see again, but there is stuff of theirs in your house and other stuff to pass on to them.

You can get someone to drop it round to them, not a problem. Would you send back pictures of themselves to them, or is that just cruel, or just dispose of them.

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

I'd probably just get rid of them tbh ,I think it'd sting more to give them back

Em x

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By *ablo minibar123 OP Woman
over a year ago

"I'd probably just get rid of them tbh ,I think it'd sting more to give them back

Em x"

I did think that. It's not that I'm wanting to be intentionally cruel, I just really don't want these things in my house

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By *udding RoseWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there

I would just drop the stuff to that family member and put any photos you don't want into an envelope for them, I myself couldn't burn any photos but that's just me.

I know you don't want to see them again but at least you'll get it out of the way and then you won't have the hassle of getting somebody else to collect the stuff to bring to that family member or worse still having to pay somebody to do it!

You can just drop the stuff over and then walk away straight away and never see them again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure if you want to go to the expense of a courier OP but might be another option. Personally I'd include photos as I don't think I could bring myself to dispose of them but not knowing the circumstances that's probably a call you'll have to make yourself!! Either way try not to overthink things and go for whatever is easiest for you!!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'd put all their stuff including pics together and get it dropped off back to them.

It sends a clear message I'd say and night give you peace too.

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By *ablo minibar123 OP Woman
over a year ago

A friend of mine will drop the stuff off for me so not an issue. I've looked at the frames and some of them have personal messages on so there's no way I can just chuck them. I am over thinking it yes. I'm going to bubble wrap them and send the personal ones back, as it may have some kind of sentiment to them. I'm sure I'll be seen as a bitch whatever I do anyway, but it's not my intention to be unkind through sending them.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Give them all back, I don't think it's cruel. They may not have copies and they like that particular photo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont have any sound advice to give but one thing i must say is you profile name is absolutely brilliant. I have been chuckling to my self for ten mins about it. Its made my day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As an above poster said. Give everything back, it gives it a clear cut goodbye

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By *ablo minibar123 OP Woman
over a year ago

"I dont have any sound advice to give but one thing i must say is you profile name is absolutely brilliant. I have been chuckling to my self for ten mins about it. Its made my day

Thanks, that's nice to know

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We had a family member we didn't want to see and sent photos to them by post. They didn't want to see us either.

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By *untimes wantedMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Send the pictures back.Because unless your going to tell them you threw them away they will know you did not return them which could lead them to think there is hope what ever happened will blow over.

Sending them back sends a clear message you want nothing to do with them.

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By *ablo minibar123 OP Woman
over a year ago

"Send the pictures back.Because unless your going to tell them you threw them away they will know you did not return them which could lead them to think there is hope what ever happened will blow over.

Sending them back sends a clear message you want nothing to do with them. "

That is another good point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, seems petty to throw them away like they meant something to you.

Just return. Tbh return in person as a matter of fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scratch out their faces and give them back.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Scratch out their faces and give them back."

Or just their eyes.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I genuinely don't know what to do. Ok think hypothetically, say you had a family member that you never want to see again, but there is stuff of theirs in your house and other stuff to pass on to them.

You can get someone to drop it round to them, not a problem. Would you send back pictures of themselves to them, or is that just cruel, or just dispose of them."

If you have made your mind up never to see this family member again then this is what you do.....

Legally you have NO RIGHT to thrown their stuff out without giving them an opportunity to get them back SO .......

Message them or mail them and ask them for a day and time within the next two weeks that they will be at home to take delivery of their stuff and say ( nicely ) if you have not replied within by day 10 from the date of this letter then all items will be given to charity\put in the bin.

It is not cruel. Just make sure you are civil about it.

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
over a year ago

Beverley

Do you have storage or anything, so you can just box them up and forget about them? That way they are bot your problem but if you hear through the grapevine that said person wants them back, you can sort it

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By *ablo minibar123 OP Woman
over a year ago

"Yeah, seems petty to throw them away like they meant something to you.

Just return. Tbh return in person as a matter of fact."

Not a chance in hell lol, I really do not want to see the person ever again for my own safety.

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By *ave0070Man
over a year ago

Sleaford

I would just ask my friend to take them all over to there's with a message saying here is your things now there is no need for us to see or speak ever again that should make it very clear as to what you want and feel without it being uncomfortable for you. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending them back sends a clear message you want nothing to do with them. "

Good point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah, seems petty to throw them away like they meant something to you.

Just return. Tbh return in person as a matter of fact.

Not a chance in hell lol, I really do not want to see the person ever again for my own safety."

Hope you don't have to keep in contact with them in the future for any reason.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I think if they've not been asking for what ever it is after some time it can't be that important to them and its not your responsibility to be their store man. So I would say it's OK just to bin it.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd not intentionally impose anything that may be harsh onto others. Their owned property should be returned but associated items, such as photos of them, owned by others, isn't a part of this. Ideally an intermediary would safely return them, when convenient for them. Keep closures as positive as possible, whatever has gone before.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I would give it all back, including pics. Then your mind is at peace.

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