FabSwingers.com forum: Helmet Cheese

By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

An underrated delicacy?

There are so many differing maturation techniques and processes, transforming the flavour and texture from piquant and gritty, to mild and smooth.

What's your favourite?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this a serious question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What the actual fuck?

I’ve still no idea if you’re talking about cheese cheese the delicious salty delicacy for toast….. or cock smeg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so glad you said this

Jesus!!!

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By *use and wolfCouple
over a year ago

angus

Haven't had any since the 90's and much prefer it stayed that way...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you grate it

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

I just woke up very early and a bit bored.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cottage cheese.. bit lumpy, been sitting there a while but has that mouldy glaze which is irresistible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With toast a strong cheddar

With a slice of pork pie - Stilton

Grated on a jacket spud - Red Leicester

On my spag bol - Parmesan

No to halloumi - cheese should melt , halloumi is the cheese of the devil

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

I just think if you ever managed a slightly salty Ricotta, seeping some yellow curd water at the edges, you probably mastered what it meant to be a teenager.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope… I was right all along it’s a sinister thread about cock smeg…. I’m out (vomit)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope… I was right all along it’s a sinister thread about cock smeg…. I’m out (vomit)"

(Puke)

(Sick)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cam stomach most things being a carer but that... no thanks

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"I cam stomach most things being a carer but that... no thanks"

Relieved to know. I really was just very bored and grossing myself out raised a smile (for me, if no one else) and killed half an hour.

Bit scared by the cottage cheese comment above though - either someone's even drier and more twisted with humour than me, or genuinely likes manky cottage cheese...either of which terrify me

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

Watch that episode of embarrassing bodies

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Is this a serious question?"
Don't be silly

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"Haven't had any since the 90's and much prefer it stayed that way..."

This is The Way

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By *loydyMan
over a year ago

British

"An underrated delicacy?

There are so many differing maturation techniques and processes, transforming the flavour and texture from piquant and gritty, to mild and smooth.

What's your favourite?"
I'm sure there is help out there for you my friend

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"Do you grate it "

If severely dehydrated, this did become an option (but am casting mind back nearly 40 years)

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Nope… I was right all along it’s a sinister thread about cock smeg…. I’m out (vomit)

(Puke)

(Sick)

Let me help you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How to ensure the swift end of your fab journey in one fell swoop

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Just add some Worcester sauce, slide it off with a knife, then spread it on crackers

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

I mean, A* for originality!

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"I mean, A* for originality! "

Well thank you Kaitonel.

And Rickshawed - you deffo win with that

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

i love feta cheese with a bit of honey,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope… I was right all along it’s a sinister thread about cock smeg…. I’m out (vomit)

(Puke)

(Sick)

Let me help you

Thanks you two

That’s the one - I dont know the one for face palm either

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Thanks Nick for having the balls to post this thread. It's something I wish more people would openly appreciate, thank you for not dicking about.

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"Thanks Nick for having the balls to post this thread. It's something I wish more people would openly appreciate, thank you for not dicking about.

You're welcome Meli.

I am now very scared as well

But you are most welcome x

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

A stinking bishop, is not to be sniffed at. Jus sayin.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Waste not, want not. There's a cost of living crisis, and cheese is expensive

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"An underrated delicacy?

There are so many differing maturation techniques and processes, transforming the flavour and texture from piquant and gritty, to mild and smooth.

What's your favourite?"
gorgonzola

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

What's the next thread, yeast infected fanny batter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the next thread, yeast infected fanny batter? "

That would make a great profile name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope… I was right all along it’s a sinister thread about cock smeg…. I’m out (vomit)

(Puke)

(Sick)

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Well thanks, that's put me off my breakfast

ah well that'll help with the weight loss lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the next thread, yeast infected fanny batter?

That would make a great profile name "

So you're sorted when the fake FC does not change his name today!

Will you go for the abbreviation YIFB, or just shorten the name to Fanny Batter?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Waste not, want not. There's a cost of living crisis, and cheese is expensive

Not that expensive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *oss25Man
over a year ago

Flitwick and Fakenham

So wrong on every level….but hilarious all the same…gagging!

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
over a year ago

Belfast

How do you eat it? Do you just wipe your nob on a slice or bread, or like what's the process?

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"How do you eat it? Do you just wipe your nob on a slice or bread, or like what's the process? "

Well, I would imagine (pure imagination...honest) that you're better off preparing the things you want to spread it on beforehand (hygiene reasons), then licking the index finger of your dominant hand, peel back the foreskin, circle the helmet with the wettened finger (probably twice, to maximise harvest), and then finger-spread on the receiving foodstuff.

I do have some ideas on what to do with the residual cheese-finger bits, but I'll save those for later comments.

Can't imagine direct wiping cock to other foodstuff reaches all the nooks and crannies...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Collect enough over time, and you could make a batch of breaded dippers.

Roll cheese into balls.

Cover in crumb.

Deep fry for a couple of minutes.

Serve with yeast infected fanny batter dip.

Mmm mmm mmm. Delish!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Annnd it’s time to log off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just been sick in my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Extra mature ?

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"Collect enough over time, and you could make a batch of breaded dippers.

Roll cheese into balls.

Cover in crumb.

Deep fry for a couple of minutes.

Serve with yeast infected fanny batter dip.

Mmm mmm mmm. Delish!

I love what you did there

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
48 weeks ago

St Leonards

Well it's been 6 weeks since my first Forum post, and I have to say my cheese is coming along nicely for a Boxing Day treat.

Ho hum

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
46 weeks ago

St Leonards

Just for GeordieJeans x

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By *illy IdolMan
46 weeks ago

Midlands

"An underrated delicacy?

There are so many differing maturation techniques and processes, transforming the flavour and texture from piquant and gritty, to mild and smooth.

What's your favourite?"

Gritty is my cheese of choice

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
46 weeks ago

St Leonards

"An underrated delicacy?

There are so many differing maturation techniques and processes, transforming the flavour and texture from piquant and gritty, to mild and smooth.

What's your favourite?

Gritty is my cheese of choice "

Like a moth to a flame

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By *illy IdolMan
46 weeks ago

Midlands

"An underrated delicacy?

There are so many differing maturation techniques and processes, transforming the flavour and texture from piquant and gritty, to mild and smooth.

What's your favourite?

Gritty is my cheese of choice

Like a moth to a flame

You know

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By *r_PinkMan
46 weeks ago

london stratford

I am circumsized so never have had helmet cheese

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
46 weeks ago

St Leonards

"An underrated delicacy?

There are so many differing maturation techniques and processes, transforming the flavour and texture from piquant and gritty, to mild and smooth.

What's your favourite?

Gritty is my cheese of choice

Like a moth to a flame

You know

I'm off for a while now...have fun

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By *ickyKlungespeare OP Man
25 weeks ago

St Leonards

Isn't Granny just a genius?

This thread would be languishing in a dark corner without her inspiration from another thread.

Granny - my fizzy wet cheese thanks you, from the bottom of its slightly gritty bit

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