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Number 1

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Do you have the need to be?

If you see someone that you’re interested in or that you have a ‘thing’ with flirting with someone else, does that cool your interest and if so, why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh hell no.

Opposite in fact, if I feel I'm the only one they talk to I'll walk away.

Plus, it's kinda hot knowing someone you fancy is having sex. Right??

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

It kind of does as I’m still set in my old monogamous ways with new partnering. However after a quick chat all is usually good. Unless I’m not at the chatting stage and still admiring from afar. Then girl code kicks in. Dammit.

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By *ady IncognitoWoman
over a year ago

.

Don't have a need to be number 1.

But if I feel like they are essentially "any hole's a goal" and will go with anyone and everyone, that would be a turn-off.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

No. Well it depends on who they're flirting with but most of the time I like seeing people enjoying themselves. I don't want to be someone's number one. I do want to feel like I matter though and I'm more than a couple of tight orifices. I like being desired. I can't feel sexual attraction without it.

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By *agebunWoman
over a year ago

Rugby


"Do you have the need to be?

If you see someone that you’re interested in or that you have a ‘thing’ with flirting with someone else, does that cool your interest and if so, why?

"

Usually not, although if someone I'm flirting with has a new 'thing' with someone else I do back off a little just to give them space to explore their new connection.

Usually though I'm likely to be cheering people on about the people they like and want to flirt with

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

It can do, both on here and in person. If they're flirting with someone I consider a lot more attractive than me, if they're flirting with someone a lot younger. It makes me question things.

J

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By *ady IncognitoWoman
over a year ago

.


"It kind of does as I’m still set in my old monogamous ways with new partnering. However after a quick chat all is usually good. Unless I’m not at the chatting stage and still admiring from afar. Then girl code kicks in. Dammit. "

Yeah, I can understand this. Trying to rethink that mindset can be difficult. For me it's a constant work in progress, reminding myself that this is a different arena with different norms.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"It can do, both on here and in person. If they're flirting with someone I consider a lot more attractive than me, if they're flirting with someone a lot younger. It makes me question things.

J"

It's not a being number one thing. More that it will knock my confidence.

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By *ady IncognitoWoman
over a year ago

.


"No. Well it depends on who they're flirting with but most of the time I like seeing people enjoying themselves. I don't want to be someone's number one. I do want to feel like I matter though and I'm more than a couple of tight orifices. I like being desired. I can't feel sexual attraction without it."

Yes - "mattering" is important to me, too. Just didn't quite know how to express it.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London


"No. Well it depends on who they're flirting with but most of the time I like seeing people enjoying themselves. I don't want to be someone's number one. I do want to feel like I matter though and I'm more than a couple of tight orifices. I like being desired. I can't feel sexual attraction without it."

Yeah, the 'who' is important to me too, even if it probably shouldn't be (and obviously can't cover the known/unknowns).

Do I need to be number one? No. I also like to see people enjoying themselves.

But picked up and put down when it suits them? Also no.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Um, I like to be the primary concern when we're together for sure.

But the rest of the time, they can prioritise who like in those moments. I like to be thought of now and again, but if I know they're with one of their other partners then I'm perfectly happy to not be the focus of their attentions for that period of time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I need to be number one? Absolutely not, infact I encourage all my playmates to be with others as I wouldn't be comfortable being their 'number one'.

In terms of seeing them flirt, it depends with who. If I know it's someone they would never flirt with in the real world and are playing games, that would make me question them for sure. If the flirting is genuine then I'm cool with that.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London


"Oh hell no.

Opposite in fact, if I feel I'm the only one they talk to I'll walk away.

Plus, it's kinda hot knowing someone you fancy is having sex. Right?? "

Raven, what are you doing in my head sharing my thoughts?

Which is an awkward of saying I feel the same.

But when you’re with me, be 100% with me. That’s all I ask. Be fully in the moment. Then go be with someone else in a different moment, with my blessing.

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

I don't need to be number one but I also don't want to feel like a lesser choice.

I do agree that who they're flirting with can put me off but at the same time I don't own anyone and like to see people enjoying themselves.

Em x

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Yes.

I’m not a swinger. I’m not poly.

I want to be the apple of someone’s eye who has eyes only for me, and likewise, I’m a one man woman.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"No. Well it depends on who they're flirting with but most of the time I like seeing people enjoying themselves. I don't want to be someone's number one. I do want to feel like I matter though and I'm more than a couple of tight orifices. I like being desired. I can't feel sexual attraction without it.

Yeah, the 'who' is important to me too, even if it probably shouldn't be (and obviously can't cover the known/unknowns).

Do I need to be number one? No. I also like to see people enjoying themselves.

But picked up and put down when it suits them? Also no."

Yep. I'm not a swinger. The who does matter to me to a certain extent. I'm not going to go into when it does but it can.

Yeah that picking up and putting down. I get why people do it but it's not for me at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I need to be Number 1, absolutely not.

Nobody is exclusive...it's about having fun and no drama.

And I'm pleased if someone I met/meeting was enjoying themselves, obviously they wouldn't be having as much fun as when they are with me

That's obviously a joke for those that need it spelling out!

However, what I do appreciate is if I have had several meetings with someone, that they tell me when they no longer wish to meet with me again... I'd rather know one way or the other, it's how I roll!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you have the need to be?

If you see someone that you’re interested in or that you have a ‘thing’ with flirting with someone else, does that cool your interest and if so, why?

"

No, in fact I'd prefer it.

The only thing I'd ever ask is that keep in mind my child free nights if they can so I can have them when I'm actually free. But I wouldn't expect it.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield


"It kind of does as I’m still set in my old monogamous ways with new partnering. However after a quick chat all is usually good. Unless I’m not at the chatting stage and still admiring from afar. Then girl code kicks in. Dammit.

Yeah, I can understand this. Trying to rethink that mindset can be difficult. For me it's a constant work in progress, reminding myself that this is a different arena with different norms."

Although I’m sad you’re in the same situation and head space I’m glad I’m not alone! As with most thing, communication is the key and massively important isn’t it x

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Monogamy works for me

And tbh, over my time here my observations have led me to think that there really aren't all that many people here who are emotionally or otherwise equipped to navigate multiple partners or relationships beyond those that are casual or one time only

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

I am someone’s number 1, and she is mine. After all these years and everything we’ve been through together, nothing will change this. But for everyone else, it’s a lovely thing to give generously, and to make another person feel like they matter. It’s quite simple for the most part. Be clear and honest, listen… truly listen, and be available when you can. I think it’s the difference between properly enjoying a connection with someone and simply stacking up people to boost your own ego.

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