FabSwingers.com forum: What constitutes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A shit shag?

Women: is it over too quickly? Not hard enough? Stops the foreplay too early?

Men: is it over too quickly? Not wet enough? Too wet? Sack of potatoes?

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

If it's any of those then I've never had one

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
over a year ago

honeysuckle lane

A shit shag for me is not making me cum & having a body shaking orgasm

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By *enk15Man
over a year ago

Evesham

I think an unenthusiastic shag is probably the worst.

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By *egoCharizardMan
over a year ago

leicester

For me its when youre energy isnt reciprocated, so you wanna go for it but the partner just lays there like a wet blanket, you feel like they dont even want to be there

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

No foreplay.

Rough - just banging away like a door in the wind with no technique.

Trying to make me squirt by means of going at me with fingers like they’re beating an egg

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

For me a shit shag with a woman is a woman I'm not really into, or that kind of lazily puts nothing back into it.

I want them to be hungry for it as much as I am. You get some that say they want it but act like deers caught in headlights and it's like, we don't have to do this you know?

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"I think an unenthusiastic shag is probably the worst."

Just lying there inert. Total lack of feedback.

The other ones were where I’ve got injured. Teeth marks, snapped banjo string, etc. over-enthusiasm and clumsy partner.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

For me? It would be when I don't feel like they really want *me*, just a hole to fuck. Well two, almost forgot about my mouth.

I really like feeling desired. Lusted after. I like that chemistry and energy between a person and I, when how much someone is getting off on me turns me on even more and makes me crave them. If that desire feedback loop wasn't there, I'd probably try and finish things quickly.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Devoid of emotion, passion, interest, and while it's a double edged sword, enthusiasm.

I've had sex and not had an orgasm, both intentionally and unintentionally. It wasn't shit, it was an amazing time. The feeling of it all was intense pleasure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they completely forget there’s a whole human attached to the vagina they are sticking their dick into.

Maybe I could get some pleasure of it too, no? Ok then carry on

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

A shit shag by my definition, pertains to one (or both!) partner/s not really being ‘into it’.

It’s very much, ‘going through the motions’ without connection.

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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"A shit shag?

Women: is it over too quickly? Not hard enough? Stops the foreplay too early?

Men: is it over too quickly? Not wet enough? Too wet? Sack of potatoes? "

Apparent disinterest and any hint of it becoming purely mechanical, as a means to an end.

Even in a one off meet scenario there's got to be a spark.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A few votes for sack of potatoes!

And CR I forgot the squirting attempts, that’s also gotta be up there

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

Rubbing at my clit like they're sanding wood

....that is not going to get me off lol

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Lack of concern about the pleasure of all concerned (exemplified by demanding a blowjob and not even offering to reciprocate, but it's not the only way)

Not being treated as you want to be treated (for me at least friendly, although it's up to individuals - my preference is "I like you and I want to share pleasure with you" as a baseline)

Whether someone is trying or not, below a certain amount of pleasure that I consider normal for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they can't/won't read your body or listen to you and you know they've either been watching too much porn, or someone they've fucked with in the past has seriously lied to them.

You know the ones, where there's very little or no foreplay, they think you've cum after 10 seconds of licking your left flap because you've tried to stop or redirect them, they're convinced every Woman can squirt, finger play is like they're trying to start a fire, they fuck like an epileptic or do that weird thing where they're trying to rotate their hips in a circular motion while fucking, and/or, their game is over in 5 minutes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sack of potatoes and/or expecting me to do all the work.

I love to get into the mind of a partner, build up desire and tension. Not engaging with me on that sucks.

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By *aissez-faireMan
over a year ago

Right behind you…. Boo

When there is no sexual chemistry or you’re just going through the motions.

Had this the first time I met a couple and was naive. The social was great. When the sexy began though the first thing she said was “no kissing”. The chemistry immediately evaporated and I switched off mentally. It must have been the worst shag in the history of shagging.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

"A few votes for sack of potatoes!

And CR I forgot the squirting attempts, that’s also gotta be up there "

Anything that makes me brace is bad

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Quick doesn't always mean shit shag, I've had some amazing quickies and it's kinda complimentary.

For me lack of build up, selfish partners, zero foreplay or not listening when you try guide them.

Mrs

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

No kissing

No foreplay

No tea and cake at halftime

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Brucey nailed it up there.

"I want them to be hungry for it as much as I am. You get some that say they want it but act like deers caught in headlights and it's like, we don't have to do this you know?"

That’s it. The crux of it. I want us both (or us all) to be into it and into each other. Without that hunger for each other there’s no point. Let’s call the whole thing off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think length/orgasm necessary come into it for me. I’ve had some great quickies, and some where I didn’t orgasm but the rest of it was fun.

I think a lack of connection or mismatched energy is what makes it shit for me. There’s nothing worse than feeling like the other person just isn’t there in that moment with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A shit shag?

Women: is it over too quickly? Not hard enough? Stops the foreplay too early?

Men: is it over too quickly? Not wet enough? Too wet? Sack of potatoes? "

For me its when its over too quickly. I like to take my time and enjoy all aspects of foreplay first and really take time to explore eachother , if its minimum foreplay and straight to sex i don’t really enjoy it .

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"A shit shag?

Women: is it over too quickly? Not hard enough? Stops the foreplay too early?

Men: is it over too quickly? Not wet enough? Too wet? Sack of potatoes?

Mr "

Mr? You really do exist?

Or have you missed the S?

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A shit shag?

Women: is it over too quickly? Not hard enough? Stops the foreplay too early?

Men: is it over too quickly? Not wet enough? Too wet? Sack of potatoes?

Mr? You really do exist?

Or have you missed the S?

Mrs "

I do, mrs just keeps me locked up in the basement

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Brum

*scours thread responses for previous partners… breathes a huge sigh of relief *

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"A shit shag?

Women: is it over too quickly? Not hard enough? Stops the foreplay too early?

Men: is it over too quickly? Not wet enough? Too wet? Sack of potatoes?

Mr? You really do exist?

Or have you missed the S?

Mrs

I do, mrs just keeps me locked up in the basement

Can't blame her really

that's where the men should be kept.

Mrs

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

A shit shag for me is when you're both singing off different hymn sheets. There's no chemistry and it feels more transactional than passionate. It should never feel like a chore, a means to an end. A sack of spuds is a good term. It should tick like a Swiss watch, all the mechanics working together. Not a cheap Chinese knock off.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"A shit shag for me is not making me cum & having a body shaking orgasm "

Same for me or ending things with her saying "wank over my tits"

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

For me is when there is no chance of me even coming close to orgasm. And that's usually caused by the wrong sort of foreplay and then having a dick i can't really feel. If the foreplay is good with lots of fingering then the second doesn't really matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When he wanks onto your tits after five mins of foreplay and then puts his clothes on.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"A shit shag?

Women: is it over too quickly? Not hard enough? Stops the foreplay too early?

Men: is it over too quickly? Not wet enough? Too wet? Sack of potatoes?

Mr? You really do exist?

Or have you missed the S?

Mrs

I do, mrs just keeps me locked up in the basement

This is of no surprise to me at all!

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"When he wanks onto your tits after five mins of foreplay and then puts his clothes on. "

That would have been my ex's idea of heaven. All over really quickly and no need to do much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When he wanks onto your tits after five mins of foreplay and then puts his clothes on.

That would have been my ex's idea of heaven. All over really quickly and no need to do much. "

It wasn't mine. Especially as it was his hotel room.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"Lack of concern about the pleasure of all concerned (exemplified by demanding a blowjob and not even offering to reciprocate, but it's not the only way)

Not being treated as you want to be treated (for me at least friendly, although it's up to individuals - my preference is "I like you and I want to share pleasure with you" as a baseline)

Whether someone is trying or not, below a certain amount of pleasure that I consider normal for me."

My favourite definition so far.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"A shit shag for me is when you're both singing off different hymn sheets. There's no chemistry and it feels more transactional than passionate. It should never feel like a chore, a means to an end. A sack of spuds is a good term. It should tick like a Swiss watch, all the mechanics working together. Not a cheap Chinese knock off."

And also this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One word.. selfish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lots of comments about connections too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably when we're a bit out of sync on what to do and what we want to happen, maybe the chemistry isn't quite there.

For couples, it's probably the feeling of me there just for them as oppose to feeling like I'm not a third wheel and actually feeling involved and comfortable.

A toothy blowjob also isn't the best feeling, I have to admit

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Probably when we're a bit out of sync on what to do and what we want to happen, maybe the chemistry isn't quite there.

For couples, it's probably the feeling of me there just for them as oppose to feeling like I'm not a third wheel and actually feeling involved and comfortable.

A toothy blowjob also isn't the best feeling, I have to admit

Yes, the Dentists 2:30 blowjob too

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’ve honestly never had a shit shag

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Probably when we're a bit out of sync on what to do and what we want to happen, maybe the chemistry isn't quite there.

For couples, it's probably the feeling of me there just for them as oppose to feeling like I'm not a third wheel and actually feeling involved and comfortable.

A toothy blowjob also isn't the best feeling, I have to admit

Noted

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I’ve honestly never had a shit shag"

But have those you were with?

nice knowing you all! I'll be going now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it involves a man

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve honestly never had a shit shag

But have those you were with?

nice knowing you all! I'll be going now"

Shots fired

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god

I was dating an amazing guy. Everything a woman could want.

The time arrived after several dates

It was like a rhythmical, one speed, one angle, chore. I tried to take over, he had none of that. I was so bored.

I'm not ashamed to admit I stopped seeing him

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I’ve honestly never had a shit shag

But have those you were with?

nice knowing you all! I'll be going now"

Ha. Yep all of them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Not enough foreplay prior becomes a shit shag

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan
over a year ago

Midlands

A cold meet. No effort. Awkward. Uncomfortable selfish.

Can’t remember your name or any of yere details. She/he cums n then wants to leave.

Boot emoji

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've only ever been with one person where the words shit shag could apply. She was all talk, went to the gym, was very experienced and yet I would have got more joy from humping the headboard. Zero passion or intensity.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

Chichester

Person is just boring not vibing with them and my mind is thinking how fast can I finish this off and bounce and go play Xbox watch a film.

If I feeling that then it’s crap.

Time not so much worries some great sex has been minutes long others an hour or so in total time and place

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

When they didn't douche properly

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By *OYFBWoman
over a year ago

Jersey (sometimes Notts)

The ones that cum in less than 4 thrusts, then get up and go, like they’ve just been for a shit.

Feel so worthless when they do that

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

When they're too busy concentrating on their own pleasure & not interested in mine.

I had this once years ago, he was surprised when I didn't want to meet again, despite me saying it seemed it had all been about him.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

All over from start to finish in about 10 minutes, not even getting naked.

True story.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Also, those that seem to have a set routine, 5 mins of kissing, 5 mins of foreplay, 3 different positions and done.

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By *OYFBWoman
over a year ago

Jersey (sometimes Notts)

"When they're too busy concentrating on their own pleasure & not interested in mine.

I had this once years ago, he was surprised when I didn't want to meet again, despite me saying it seemed it had all been about him. "

Some people have zero consideration for anyone else. You can be sure those people are like that outside of the bedroom too - be thankful you aren’t part of their life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also, those that seem to have a set routine, 5 mins of kissing, 5 mins of foreplay, 3 different positions and done. "

This! Guys ask for a list of stuff they like and I swear they mentally tick them off in their head.

And asking for permission all the god dam time.

"Oh excuse me do you mind if I just carefully turn you over and slip my penis in from behind now?" Just fucking do it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also, those that seem to have a set routine, 5 mins of kissing, 5 mins of foreplay, 3 different positions and done. "

*Turns off alarm*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pump n squirt for a guy and just lay there and do nowt for anyone

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"Also, those that seem to have a set routine, 5 mins of kissing, 5 mins of foreplay, 3 different positions and done.

This! Guys ask for a list of stuff they like and I swear they mentally tick them off in their head.

And asking for permission all the god dam time.

"Oh excuse me do you mind if I just carefully turn you over and slip my penis in from behind now?" Just fucking do it!!!"

I don't ask in those situations, I command

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By *inkedKuntsCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Foreplay all about them, lay there like a fucking sack of spuds expecting all the work to be done, fucking pillow princesses.

Then they act surprised when you don't want to meet them again, thinking they had a good meet because they got to cum lots yet I'm sat here like, well at least someone did. Can you fuck off now so I can have a wank please.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

o o OO o o

Men who expect you to do all the work. Ride them, suck them, anything so they don’t have to work up a sweat.

Men who try and count off your orgasms like they’re some stud and no woman has ever faked it.

Men who think rubbing a clit or fingering a lass is like playing a game of pinball. Nope. No. No way.

Men with kinks. They tend to be selfish in the bedroom (not all, but some!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr would say a silent pillow princess, I'd say an inability to finger or find the clit, the old in/out is less important.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"I’ve honestly never had a shit shag"

You stole my line!

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