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Badly explain your job

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

You may not have an interesting job,but this is your opportunity to make it sound exciting and fun!?!

Simply badly describe your job OR any job and let people guess what it is

So “I yell at uninterested children for 6 hours every day.”

Could be a teacher

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I read words and allocate them time and that becomes money.

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"I read words and allocate them time and that becomes money. "

Ooh that’s tough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get people to remove clothing, and sometimes I'll simply just hold their hand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I don’t do it, a lot of old men will be unhappy (and skint)

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Slapping a label on a box

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

I measure people

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"If I don’t do it, a lot of old men will be unhappy (and skint)"
.

Pension payments?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I measure people "

Tailor?

Ooh ooh undertaker??

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"If I don’t do it, a lot of old men will be unhappy (and skint)"

Give out free bj’s

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Slapping a label on a box "

Dispatch logistics?

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"I get people to remove clothing, and sometimes I'll simply just hold their hand."

Sex therapist

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home


"I measure people

Tailor?

Ooh ooh undertaker??"

not an undertaker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I measure people

Tailor?

Ooh ooh undertaker?? not an undertaker "

Tailor?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get people to remove clothing, and sometimes I'll simply just hold their hand.

Sex therapist"

Not a sex one no....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I help Hollywood celebrities in the process of finding orphans to adopt in Africa.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I fight crime usually in my underpants

K

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I don’t do it, a lot of old men will be unhappy (and skint)

Give out free bj’s "

It feels like it sometimes but no!

They do sometimes give me money too!

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home


"I measure people

Tailor?

Ooh ooh undertaker?? not an undertaker

Tailor?"

close

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep people dry.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"Slapping a label on a box

Dispatch logistics?"

Fuck no lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep people dry."

Roofer??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk bollocks, drink too much and collect airmiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep people dry.

Roofer??"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Slapping a label on a box

Dispatch logistics?

Fuck no lol"

Pharmaceutical person

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

[Removed by poster at 30/10/23 20:17:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep people dry.

Roofer?? "

Was that right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Talk bollocks, drink too much and collect airmiles "

Accountant?

Something Financial?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep people dry.

Roofer??

Was that right? "

Aye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I don’t do it, a lot of old men will be unhappy (and skint).

Pension payments?

Nope it’s impossible I think "

Just old men? Not old ladies?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I keep people dry.

Roofer??

Was that right?

Aye "

Yeah go me!!

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Slapping a label on a box

Dispatch logistics?

Fuck no lol

Pharmaceutical person "

like a legal drug dealer

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

I take people for walks in the mountains. Usually Italian ones.

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I don’t do it, a lot of old men will be unhappy (and skint).

Pension payments?

Nope it’s impossible I think

Just old men? Not old ladies?"

Nope, no old ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I touch people, sometimes I make it hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I don’t do it, a lot of old men will be unhappy (and skint).

Pension payments?"

Also no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I touch people, sometimes I make it hurt"

Physio!

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

I put the wet stuff on the hot stuff.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I carry around various plastic dolls and teach people how to correctly touch them.

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By *aissez-faireMan
over a year ago

Right behind you…. Boo


"If I don’t do it, a lot of old men will be unhappy (and skint).

Pension payments?

Nope it’s impossible I think

Just old men? Not old ladies?

Nope, no old ladies "

Are these old men your pimp?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I carry around various plastic dolls and teach people how to correctly touch them."

Rescuscitation instructor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I don’t do it, a lot of old men will be unhappy (and skint).

Pension payments?

Nope it’s impossible I think

Just old men? Not old ladies?

Nope, no old ladies

Are these old men your pimp? "

Certainly not!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I touch people, sometimes I make it hurt"

Chiropractor

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"I carry around various plastic dolls and teach people how to correctly touch them."

St John’s ambulance training?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I touch people, sometimes I make it hurt

Physio!"

Well that was fast

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

I regularly have to remind my audience that I'm (and my colleagues) not there for their entertainment. In reality though my job involves me being 85% clown.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

I peer into an orifice and then make sure it's working

Tinder

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Based on today, i mainly piss off people by noticing stuff they've fucked up, forgotten or broken, which will cause several people quite a bit more work and expense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I touch people, sometimes I make it hurt

Physio!

Well that was fast "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aissez-faireMan
over a year ago

Right behind you…. Boo


"If I don’t do it, a lot of old men will be unhappy (and skint).

Pension payments?

Nope it’s impossible I think

Just old men? Not old ladies?

Nope, no old ladies

Are these old men your pimp?

Certainly not!!!!"

It was a joke!!!!!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

OK its bit difficult but try

It takes a lot doing its hard work .but in a nutshell.

I do bugger all I'm retired.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"I regularly have to remind my audience that I'm (and my colleagues) not there for their entertainment. In reality though my job involves me being 85% clown. "

Teacher

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple
over a year ago

Debauchery

They pay to dress up and pretend I’m responsible.

Hades

They pay me to act like and idiot and pretend I’m responsible.

Cherry x

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"I carry around various plastic dolls and teach people how to correctly touch them.

Rescuscitation instructor"

Close …

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I spend a fortune buying stuff from online and paper catalogues and give it all away to the staff so they can make things work again.

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

I try to reduce the number of people who kill themselves

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"I try to reduce the number of people who kill themselves "

An absolute amazing job, thank you x

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn


"I try to reduce the number of people who kill themselves

An absolute amazing job, thank you x"

Its the long slow kill type not like a counsellor or anything like that

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

I capture souls. Sometimes real people, sometimes fictional people.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)


"I carry around various plastic dolls and teach people how to correctly touch them."

First Aid trainer

Gbat

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"I spend a fortune buying stuff from online and paper catalogues and give it all away to the staff so they can make things work again."

Parts procurement?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"I try to reduce the number of people who kill themselves

An absolute amazing job, thank you x

Its the long slow kill type not like a counsellor or anything like that"

Health and safety person

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I tell people what to do when they don’t know what to do.

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn


"I try to reduce the number of people who kill themselves

An absolute amazing job, thank you x

Its the long slow kill type not like a counsellor or anything like that

Health and safety person "

I do worry about peoples health but I dont have a hard hat sadly

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"I try to reduce the number of people who kill themselves

An absolute amazing job, thank you x

Its the long slow kill type not like a counsellor or anything like that

Health and safety person

I do worry about peoples health but I dont have a hard hat sadly"

Nurse

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
over a year ago

Leamington Spa

Sit on the sofa in my Jim jams chatting away to strangers and tapping away on the computer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Talk bollocks, drink too much and collect airmiles

Accountant?

Something Financial?"

Not clever or interesting enough

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe


"I spend a fortune buying stuff from online and paper catalogues and give it all away to the staff so they can make things work again.

Parts procurement?"

Got it in one!

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By *ral loveMan
over a year ago

Falmouth

Burnt clay artist

I keep people warm and dry

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By *ereforgigglesMan
over a year ago

Scotland

Prick

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

I play monopoly.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

I tell my people what to do and how to do it and customers people what not to do and if we catch them doing it, what to expect.

Usually meaning they no longer have a job or worst case are going to their local HMP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I help people who help people and wield the dual powers of control and access with grace and discretion

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By *abble-onMan
over a year ago

Minehead

I look for animals, and then tell people they are there...

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn


"I try to reduce the number of people who kill themselves

An absolute amazing job, thank you x

Its the long slow kill type not like a counsellor or anything like that

Health and safety person

I do worry about peoples health but I dont have a hard hat sadly

Nurse "

Blimwyb nope I am rather removed from the actual death

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

I use etch-a-sketch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feels like a nut house

Or prison

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Currently using my NI contributions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm saving lives every day by doing as little as possible.

The team moto "minimum effort, maximum results"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look at fannies all day..

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By *adbod2godbodMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Im told I'm a professional but treated and paid like an amateur.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make sure people have oral pleasure and a good time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make the rich richer.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

I live to make others happy x

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I try to reduce the number of people who kill themselves

An absolute amazing job, thank you x

Its the long slow kill type not like a counsellor or anything like that

Health and safety person

I do worry about peoples health but I dont have a hard hat sadly

Nurse

Blimwyb nope I am rather removed from the actual death"

Drug and/or alcohol support work type thing?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

We make sure other people do their jobs properly and get other people to use their brains more.

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

I assault the senses of tens of thousands of people at a time and they love it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unwanted hair on private parts remove do I. Is that yoda enough lol.?

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"Slapping a label on a box

Dispatch logistics?

Fuck no lol

Pharmaceutical person "

Yep

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT


"I look for animals, and then tell people they are there..."

He’s Batman

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By *jj2012Man
over a year ago

Barry

People pay me to get them all hot ,sweaty and out of breath and ache the day after mainly women

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

I stick stuff in things and hope they don’t go bang

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

I look at old soil.

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By *ietsenmakerMan
over a year ago

Hartford

I work with rubber, chains, nipples and tools and often found screwing in bottom brackets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I look at fannies all day.."

Work in a job centre by any chance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I look at fannies all day..

Work in a job centre by any chance? "

Haha no! But good suggestion...

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"I look at fannies all day..

Work in a job centre by any chance?

Haha no! But good suggestion..."

Midwife, Gynae doc or nurse?

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By *andyboyMan
over a year ago

berkhamstead

I fix shit that absolute assholes designed

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"I look at fannies all day.."

You work at a Lookalike agency who specialises in fanny craddock lookalikes

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I get handed a leaky ship. I’m the only one in the chain that knows what’s going on and I fix the problems and send it off. Then someone pays a lot of money.

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By * and P southeastCouple
over a year ago

essex

I give people back their time for money xx

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By *rownhotnessMan
over a year ago

Cheshire/Midlands

Give people wings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m getting to places where most people don’t go, and I make sure that other who go there are safe.

Usually work where our fuel comes from

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"I’m getting to places where most people don’t go, and I make sure that other who go there are safe.

Usually work where our fuel comes from"

On the oil rigs?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I design things that are made to be desiged in that way

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By *umblecutMan
over a year ago

Finchley

I help rich people get richer.

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By *eacefulWizardMan
over a year ago

Valais, Switzerland

I help people reconnect with parts of themselves they have disconnected from a long time ago and empty a backpack they no longer need.

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By *hunky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Put on a show every night, but I'm mostly back stage.

Good with knives, but it's not a circus.

I can hold really hot things without burning my hand.

Often get hurt, but carry on as nothing happened.

I'm the alpha male in my environment, no matter what others believe.

Can make you shit your pants with a look sometimes.

(Make my work photo private now)

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By *ose manMan
over a year ago

kells

Chicken Sexier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feed little people

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By *imbob85Man
over a year ago

inverness

I put my big thing in to tight spaces to dump my load

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Based on today, i mainly piss off people by noticing stuff they've fucked up, forgotten or broken, which will cause several people quite a bit more work and expense "

Site manager

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Put on a show every night, but I'm mostly back stage.

Good with knives, but it's not a circus.

I can hold really hot things without burning my hand.

Often get hurt, but carry on as nothing happened.

I'm the alpha male in my environment, no matter what others believe.

Can make you shit your pants with a look sometimes.

(Make my work photo private now)

"

Chef

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tame and command electrons.

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By *adyluck..Woman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I do a lot of tapping and drink coffee indoors

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m getting to places where most people don’t go, and I make sure that other who go there are safe.

Usually work where our fuel comes from

On the oil rigs?"

Yes it is where I usually work, but not only, can you gues what is it I do

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By *boroM2Man
over a year ago

Peterborough

I often get wet and give people things they were not expecting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get my tool out and bang things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make big lumps of metal cum. Some a little, some a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work with teenagers in a building haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stalk people

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Dig up tress.

The mr

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

I make judgments on other peoples paperwork and decide whether they can have permission to do something.

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By *umblecutMan
over a year ago

Finchley


"I work with teenagers in a building haha."

Secondary school teacher?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell people how to tell people how to not get burgled

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By *umblecutMan
over a year ago

Finchley


"I do a lot of tapping and drink coffee indoors "

What on earth could that be? How about another clue?

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By *oopy Lou 666Woman
over a year ago

Heaven.....………. I came down from Heaven


"I do a lot of tapping and drink coffee indoors

What on earth could that be? How about another clue?"

Work from home

House husband

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By *eacefulWizardMan
over a year ago

Valais, Switzerland


"I do a lot of tapping and drink coffee indoors "

I'd say software developer

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I work with rubber, chains, nipples and tools and often found screwing in bottom brackets"

Your username gives it away! Bike mechanic.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I’m getting to places where most people don’t go, and I make sure that other who go there are safe.

Usually work where our fuel comes from

On the oil rigs?

Yes it is where I usually work, but not only, can you gues what is it I do "

Chopper pilot?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look after other people's mental health whilst slowly losing my own sanity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I play with trains, they come in off maintenance work, we split them apart around the yard, then rebuild them in a different order to go back out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I don’t tell them not to then they’ll likely mow down a bunch of pedestrians or cyclists daily..

Mr

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I look after people's mental health while also putting them in intense situations by their own accord...

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"If I don’t tell them not to then they’ll likely mow down a bunch of pedestrians or cyclists daily..

Mr"

School crossing warden hi viz and a big lollipop sign to stop the traffic

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By *eacefulWizardMan
over a year ago

Valais, Switzerland


"I look after other people's mental health whilst slowly losing my own sanity."

I felt that... Same same

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales

Death, Dementia, Despair, Dreary Documents ….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell people to turn things off and then back on.

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By *inkedKuntsCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

We design things that will take your shit away and also help you clean up your post-sex mess

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By *xhibitionisticvoyeurMan
over a year ago

Wrexham

I dig holes that people already dug.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Death, Dementia, Despair, Dreary Documents …."

Wills and probate

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales


"Death, Dementia, Despair, Dreary Documents ….

Wills and probate "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I chat up strangers who then usually either fuck me or ghost me

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Social justice warrior race traitor with a penchant for elevated elephant tusk

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

I solve problems that stop large ships from going places - there’s a lot of seamen involved

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

I make large IT systems communicate securely to each other, despite the best efforts of customers, architects, project managers, and 3rd party technical staff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People pay me to get them all hot ,sweaty and out of breath and ache the day after mainly women "

Personal Trainer??

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By *ickieBowCouple
over a year ago

Essex

D - Can’t pay I’ll take it away

B - a house

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

I get up late and do very little.

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By *eacefulWizardMan
over a year ago

Valais, Switzerland


"I get up late and do very little. "

Tax collector?

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By *BeeJayMan
over a year ago

Cobham

I dont do lighting

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"I get up late and do very little. "

Retired??

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By *ipplesdelightCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

[Removed by poster at 02/11/23 21:31:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Talk bollocks, drink too much and collect airmiles

Accountant?

Something Financial?

Management consultant. Or politician!

Classic case of pot calling kettle black. I 'help people move'

Not clever or interesting enough "

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By *ipplesdelightCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Walk around all day looking at everyone making mistakes lol

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By *ainsb1Man
over a year ago

North Lincs/S.Yorks

I stop people and ask questions.

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"I stop people and ask questions. "

Chugger ?

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By *altenkommandoMan
over a year ago

milton keynes

I scoop people up and cart them off to hospital (when not dealing with time wasters and hypocondriacs).

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By *candiumWoman
over a year ago

oban


"I scoop people up and cart them off to hospital (when not dealing with time wasters and hypocondriacs)."

Ambulance person

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I make people smell & also occasionally poke them in the eye.

Mrs

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By *candiumWoman
over a year ago

oban

I get people to make friends with strangers.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

I do very little.

Large amounts of IT 'stuff', and many people magically turn up at the right time. All the people who paid for it are delighted.

It looks like very little actually happened when it goes right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I help people who look after millions look after themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get things hot until there is a puddle, then I penetrate deeply, i do it in all positions sometimes with swirling motions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get things hot until there is a puddle, then I penetrate deeply, i do it in all positions sometimes with swirling motions. "

You're a welder. Probably tig! Maybe alloy!

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By *ister_EMan
over a year ago

Hayling Island

I get paid to play with hard wood and do a lot of screwing

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By *unky_Fab_FellaMan
over a year ago

Nr Boston

Dealing with big unsightly elections in public places

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By *hil_the_thrillMan
over a year ago

erdington b23

I sing, dance,cook, paint, play games and talk

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By *B KINGSCouple (MM)
over a year ago

South

If I told you, I would have to kill you

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere


"I sing, dance,cook, paint, play games and talk"

Government minister for the Arts?

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere


"I get paid to play with hard wood and do a lot of screwing "

Snooker player???

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere


"I stop people and ask questions. "
mugger?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ensure everyone can drive to work

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

I use a digital interface to create patterns with dots and squares.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"If I told you, I would have to kill you "

ASDA checkout worker?

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