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Here is some advice for you!

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By *aitonel OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

Do you take your own advice?

I'm an awesome listener, I'm great as somebody to talk to about things. Level headed and great at advice, I can't promise it will work but it's always from a place that makes sense. Plus it usually does work out.

I do however absolutely fucking fail, more often than not, at using the same sense and heeding the advice I give to others. I mess shit up often.

I don't mean gut instinct and all that bollocks, christ that saying is insufferable... "listen to my gut, and it's never let me down". But doing or not doing something you would advise somebody else to do the opposite.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Rarely. I can't see the wood for the trees

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Nope. I never see the flags until they’re hitting me on the head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before I take advice I ask myself what qualifies that person to give the advice? Most ‘advice’ is opinion dressed up with some conviction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m excellent at giving advice that I absolutely would not do in that situation

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It is generally much easier to give advice that you're never going to have to act on than take advice that means doing something that makes you uncomfortable.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I’m excellent at giving advice that I absolutely would not do in that situation "

Yep, me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great at giving it, terrible at listening to it.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Great at giving it, terrible at listening to it. "

Was just about to say this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the person everyone comes to when they need advice but I lose that logical side when it comes to my own shit show of a life.

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By *ertie63Man
over a year ago

newark

If receiving advice listen to half of it, act on half of that .

Google can’t be trusted.

Wisdom is an age gifted app. What do I know!

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Why on earth would I listen to my own advice?? That's just crazy talk!!

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

If the advice I offer someone else is also applicable to something to do with me, then yeah, I'd take my own advice

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm with you, I'm good at sensible logical advice that usually plays out well.

But taking my own advice not so much, I'm a disaster in that department.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you take your own advice?

I'm an awesome listener, I'm great as somebody to talk to about things. Level headed and great at advice, I can't promise it will work but it's always from a place that makes sense. Plus it usually does work out.

I do however absolutely fucking fail, more often than not, at using the same sense and heeding the advice I give to others. I mess shit up often.

I don't mean gut instinct and all that bollocks, christ that saying is insufferable... "listen to my gut, and it's never let me down". But doing or not doing something you would advise somebody else to do the opposite. "

Never listen to a forum user period. If I need advice which I do not go see my doctor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of advice here is plain old garbage op listen to music is better cheers

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Do you take your own advice?

I'm an awesome listener, I'm great as somebody to talk to about things. Level headed and great at advice, I can't promise it will work but it's always from a place that makes sense. Plus it usually does work out.

I do however absolutely fucking fail, more often than not, at using the same sense and heeding the advice I give to others. I mess shit up often.

I don't mean gut instinct and all that bollocks, christ that saying is insufferable... "listen to my gut, and it's never let me down". But doing or not doing something you would advise somebody else to do the opposite.

Never listen to a forum user period. If I need advice which I do not go see my doctor. "

I don’t think he’s talking about medical advice. And I don’t think he’s talking about forums either. Just general I think.

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By *lamdaddyMan
over a year ago

London

I'm pretty good at giving advice!

Unless it's sexual, cause than I'm usually like just fucking do it what's the harm?

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Do you take your own advice?

I'm an awesome listener, I'm great as somebody to talk to about things. Level headed and great at advice, I can't promise it will work but it's always from a place that makes sense. Plus it usually does work out.

I do however absolutely fucking fail, more often than not, at using the same sense and heeding the advice I give to others. I mess shit up often.

I don't mean gut instinct and all that bollocks, christ that saying is insufferable... "listen to my gut, and it's never let me down". But doing or not doing something you would advise somebody else to do the opposite.

Never listen to a forum user period. If I need advice which I do not go see my doctor. "

.

Surely not for everything? That reminds me of Adrian Mole. pt

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By *ritIndianCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

In the words of Alice in Wonderland:

I give myself very good advice

But I very seldom follow it

That explains the trouble that I'm always in!

Mrs

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

It's interesting. There are times I actively search for already-given advice in the form of offered information as an answer to a question, as it's typically 'to point' and easy to digest (not sure how good I am in asking for it)...

It's all about hearing a different angle on something, then weighing it up yourself surely?

If I see a different angle on something myself I often air it, I can't always help it. I'm the over-helpful guy at work sometimes.

pt

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By *aitonel OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Do you take your own advice?

I'm an awesome listener, I'm great as somebody to talk to about things. Level headed and great at advice, I can't promise it will work but it's always from a place that makes sense. Plus it usually does work out.

I do however absolutely fucking fail, more often than not, at using the same sense and heeding the advice I give to others. I mess shit up often.

I don't mean gut instinct and all that bollocks, christ that saying is insufferable... "listen to my gut, and it's never let me down". But doing or not doing something you would advise somebody else to do the opposite.

Never listen to a forum user period. If I need advice which I do not go see my doctor.

I don’t think he’s talking about medical advice. And I don’t think he’s talking about forums either. Just general I think. "

Indeed. Nor advice from others.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

I’m always happy to offer an opinion. Whether somebody takes it as advice is up to them.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

It is easier to give advice to someone else - you are able to look at the issues more dispassionately from the outside.

_Everyone_ thinks they are unique which is why giving advice to yourself is harder because you “know” that you are “special” and your circumstances are “unique”. You aren’t special and your issues are commonplace but your brain doesn’t want you to know that.

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

I apparently give good advice, am a good listener and help people consider many angles they might not have considered.

When it comes to me... I'm good at hearing advice, and sometimes can take ideas on board. But I'm also bad at acting on advice from others, or on my own advice. Possibly arrogance, possibly laziness. Who knows

Posh

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Depends. Matters of the heart my advice is usually from a past experience, which EVENTUALLY I learnt from, so I kind of over egg the pudding in getting people to listen to my advice, because I want them to avoid the drama, heartache etc I went through. Forgetting along the way that people are their own person and will do their own sweet thing regardless, and all we can do is be there to pick up the pieces and pass them a tissue.

Any other advice? Well I’ll help if I can but I feel my strengths lie in matters of the heart.

I don’t listen to my own advice, else I wouldn’t have such great advice to give!

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By *oecutterMan
over a year ago

Clonakilty


"Do you take your own advice?

. "

Giving advice is my job. I do what I teach and I teach what I do.

And none of it for free.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I don't think intuition is bollocks. There's studies on it. It's just very hard to measure. I was also friends with a paediatrician researcher who was interested in the field of parental intuition.

Let's see if I can describe what she said. She was like s-tier clever (sexy as fuck too). It's the culmination of experiential learning from the environment and/or intimate knowledge of the person, gathered over time: which is so nuanced and inexorably complex that it is impossible to articulate coherently. Something like that, I was trying really hard to stay focused.

I am an exceptional listener, I rarely advise though. I offer my opinions to those who ask and I trust to make up their own minds.

Do I take my own advice : I think people repeat patterns of behaviour until they become aware of the blindspot they have in their self-awareness. Gestalt therapists call that unfinished business. I've got a few of them for sure. Knowing isn't enough. When I don't pay enough attention to my gut feelings - I tend to realise my error retrospectively.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I don't think intuition is bollocks. There's studies on it. It's just very hard to measure"

A book that will always stick with me is The Gift Of Fear by Gavin de Becker. He talks about how genuine fear is often your brain noticing that something isn't right on a subconscious level. And that intuition is a gift you should listen to.

Not really related to taking your own advice but I was reminded by your comment. And it's such a good book. Everyone should read it.

J

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent


"I don't think intuition is bollocks. There's studies on it. It's just very hard to measure

A book that will always stick with me is The Gift Of Fear by Gavin de Becker. He talks about how genuine fear is often your brain noticing that something isn't right on a subconscious level. And that intuition is a gift you should listen to.

Not really related to taking your own advice but I was reminded by your comment. And it's such a good book. Everyone should read it.

J"

Oh that does sound interesting. I’ll add it to my list Xx

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I don't think intuition is bollocks. There's studies on it. It's just very hard to measure. I was also friends with a paediatrician researcher who was interested in the field of parental intuition.

Let's see if I can describe what she said. She was like s-tier clever (sexy as fuck too). It's the culmination of experiential learning from the environment and/or intimate knowledge of the person, gathered over time: which is so nuanced and inexorably complex that it is impossible to articulate coherently. Something like that, I was trying really hard to stay focused.

I am an exceptional listener, I rarely advise though. I offer my opinions to those who ask and I trust to make up their own minds.

Do I take my own advice : I think people repeat patterns of behaviour until they become aware of the blindspot they have in their self-awareness. Gestalt therapists call that unfinished business. I've got a few of them for sure. Knowing isn't enough. When I don't pay enough attention to my gut feelings - I tend to realise my error retrospectively."

.

Intuition seems to me like weighing a number of often-general things up to get a general idea about something, then focusing in on the odds-on likelihood of something being something specific.

Some people may be more 'given' to doing that, but it can only come from experience in terms of it ever actually working I think.

pt

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley


"

Never listen to a forum user period. If I need advice which I do not go see my doctor. "

Are there any doctors on the forum?

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"I don't think intuition is bollocks. There's studies on it. It's just very hard to measure

A book that will always stick with me is The Gift Of Fear by Gavin de Becker. He talks about how genuine fear is often your brain noticing that something isn't right on a subconscious level. And that intuition is a gift you should listen to.

Not really related to taking your own advice but I was reminded by your comment. And it's such a good book. Everyone should read it.

J"

I looked at the situation as her intensely intelligent mind trying to rationalise something she felt to be true from her experience - make sense of it - through the lens of her knowledge. It turned me on. Well that amongst other things.

I shall make a note of the book, thank you.

Over-thinking, over-analysing separates the body from the mind. Withering intuition leaving opportunities behind. Song in my head now. I'm such a Tool

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I definitely don't always practice what I preach.

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

I offer advice only when asked, I think Im rather self aware and considered foe the most part.

I will say my sunny disposition does lead ne astray at tines

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"

.

Intuition seems to me like weighing a number of often-general things up to get a general idea about something, then focusing in on the odds-on likelihood of something being something specific.

Some people may be more 'given' to doing that, but it can only come from experience in terms of it ever actually working I think.

pt"

Sorry Pt missed that comment.

I think I look at that as more of a judgment call. As in consciously analysing the intuitive response.

This can be hard for someone with experience of trauma from abuse. Is the intuitive response rational or an irrational trigger?

So I looked at J's book for example. It talks about PINS (indicators of potential abusers) I think one was if someone makes a promise to never hurt you. If that's your experience then you can fall straight into a Negative Automatic Thought, and the probability assessment you refer to becomes 100%: the person then seeks only information to confirm that bias. Some even self-sabotage by asking for the promise, to begin with.

There's a therapy designed to deal with that: Mentalisation Based Therapy. To challenge the NAT before it takes hold. Recognise it is an irrational trigger, rather than an appropriate intuitive response. It's used often for people with BPD associated with abuse.

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