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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) " First, stop thinking about sex. Secondly, second open mouth and speak about life, music, film, the other guy, what she's wearing etc. | |||
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"First, stop thinking about sex. Second, stop thinking about sex. Third, go home, she's probably waiting for her muscle-riddled hypersexual hung bf while her millionaire hubby is abroad for work."  | |||
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"You've actually given yourself the perfect opener. "It's been so long since I've spoken to someone at a bar that I no longer know what the etiquette is" " And I like this  | |||
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"You've actually given yourself the perfect opener. "It's been so long since I've spoken to someone at a bar that I no longer know what the etiquette is" " | |||
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 . Guys would strike up a conversation on public transport, at bus stops, in shops, bars, pubs... literally everywhere. 99.9% of them took a gentle brush off with dignity. They would just say something really mundane like "when's the next bus?" Or "is that a cocktail you're drinking?" and the conversation would either take off or fizzle out. | |||
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"You've actually given yourself the perfect opener. "It's been so long since I've spoken to someone at a bar that I no longer know what the etiquette is" " That's crazy weirdo vibes I'd run for the hills if I guy said that to me or does that make me homophobic  | |||
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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) " Don’t, under any circumstances, get your cock out until it has been requested. the real world is definitely not Fab! | |||
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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) " Ask the guys posting about how terrible Fab is and how impossible it is to meet women here despite claiming to doing brilliantly in real life! They will put you straight. | |||
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"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird." See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me. But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works | |||
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"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird. See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me. But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works " Ignore this as it’s an overly negative view, which not only is common on here, but I think the person in general too Most people are going to be completely fine with a respectable approach, don’t let a few negative Nannie’s get you in your own head | |||
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"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird. See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me. But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works " The trick is not to 'hit' on women. Just talk to them as if they're human beings and if they seem quite cool towards you smile and walk away. | |||
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"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird. See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me. But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works Ignore this as it’s an overly negative view, which not only is common on here, but I think the person in general too Most people are going to be completely fine with a respectable approach, don’t let a few negative Nannie’s get you in your own head " So because my view is negative, it's not allowed? I thought he'd asked for a woman's opinion. Last I checked, I'm female. I did also say I'm probably not representative. But I'm female, and this is my view. It's weird, and when people make small talk with me in bars or similar, I'm immediately trying to make a polite escape. | |||
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"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird. See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me. But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works Ignore this as it’s an overly negative view, which not only is common on here, but I think the person in general too Most people are going to be completely fine with a respectable approach, don’t let a few negative Nannie’s get you in your own head So because my view is negative, it's not allowed? I thought he'd asked for a woman's opinion. Last I checked, I'm female. I did also say I'm probably not representative. But I'm female, and this is my view. It's weird, and when people make small talk with me in bars or similar, I'm immediately trying to make a polite escape." It’s allowed, I’m just saying he shouldn’t base his feelings on one persons negative views | |||
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"I actually find it easy to speak to women in public nowadays - I think that is because I am just more confident in myself and also because I always treat any conversation in a bar as just a conversation and I think that is picked up by the ladies. " I think this is right. I'm not going to be receptive. I'm just not. But (unless there are other screaming red flags going on) I'm not standing there thinking "predator criminal offender". I'm standing there thinking "I have no idea why this person is talking to me, how can I extricate myself from this weird situation?" | |||
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"I feel quite sorry for people nowadays. Approaching people in person was the only way we got to meet :old person alert: 'iny day' . Guys would strike up a conversation on public transport, at bus stops, in shops, bars, pubs... literally everywhere. 99.9% of them took a gentle brush off with dignity. They would just say something really mundane like "when's the next bus?" Or "is that a cocktail you're drinking?" and the conversation would either take off or fizzle out. "Tbh I feel sorry for people like me back in "your day". Have uncomfortable conversations with strangers, go to a noisy hellhole and have uncomfortable conversations with strangers, hope a family member sets you up, or die alone  | |||
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"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird. See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me. But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works " Definitely don’t do the “keep hitting on women until it works” thing either People do notice and you do end up looking kinda creepy and desperate. Just get out there and chat. You’d be surprised how open most women are to it. 1000s of people pull every weekend in pubs/bars | |||
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"I think a lot of people think that because women are saying they don't like predatory creeps who won't take no for an answer approaching them they will dial 999 as soon as a man glances in their direction. Normal human interaction is fine " I agree. I just don't recognise flirting in the moment. It's not for me. I remember one point where a guy physically stopped me in the street and started gushing about my eye colour. I was on my way to Boots, as it happens, because I was horrifically constipated. Took me about two weeks to realise wtf that was all about. All I could think about in the moment was, how do I get away from this situation without being horrendously rude? | |||
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"I think a lot of people think that because women are saying they don't like predatory creeps who won't take no for an answer approaching them they will dial 999 as soon as a man glances in their direction. Normal human interaction is fine I agree. I just don't recognise flirting in the moment. It's not for me. I remember one point where a guy physically stopped me in the street and started gushing about my eye colour. I was on my way to Boots, as it happens, because I was horrifically constipated. Took me about two weeks to realise wtf that was all about. All I could think about in the moment was, how do I get away from this situation without being horrendously rude? "I suggest if that happens again you simply tell the hapless gentleman about your urgent mission. That'll stop him in his tracks | |||
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"You've actually given yourself the perfect opener. "It's been so long since I've spoken to someone at a bar that I no longer know what the etiquette is" That's crazy weirdo vibes I'd run for the hills if I guy said that to me or does that make me homophobic "If you think being honest and straightforward is a "crazy weirdo vibe" then I can't help you. Not quite sure where the homophobia fits into all this but yeah, probably. | |||
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"I think a lot of people think that because women are saying they don't like predatory creeps who won't take no for an answer approaching them they will dial 999 as soon as a man glances in their direction. Normal human interaction is fine I agree. I just don't recognise flirting in the moment. It's not for me. I remember one point where a guy physically stopped me in the street and started gushing about my eye colour. I was on my way to Boots, as it happens, because I was horrifically constipated. Took me about two weeks to realise wtf that was all about. All I could think about in the moment was, how do I get away from this situation without being horrendously rude?
I suggest if that happens again you simply tell the hapless gentleman about your urgent mission. That'll stop him in his tracks "These days my "advanced" age and FFP3 seem to put people off, thank fuck. Let the woman go to Boots
But basically all the situations where I've worked out later it might be flirting were like this. Stranger engages in bewildering conversation. I try to make polite escape (note to people talking about "all men are creeps" - polite escape. I'm not trying to say anyone's a creep, I'm just saying I don't want to engage in this conversation). Later I realise why bewildering conversation occurred. This realisation makes it no better. I still want to be left the fuck alone, particularly as in the moment it's just bewildering and inconvenient. | |||
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"I'm far less confident as I've gotten older, and also put off by this whole "all men are creeps" thing flying around. Even in the gym nowadays women think guys are purely there to perve on them. If anyone does see me in the gym I'll be sweating and pulling weird faces (while lifting weights it's not a touch or anything lol)certainly not on the prowl " Nice to know I'm not alone in getting that vibe sometimes. I mean it would be great if women would approach men more but that's a whole other debate  | |||
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"I'm far less confident as I've gotten older, and also put off by this whole "all men are creeps" thing flying around. Even in the gym nowadays women think guys are purely there to perve on them. If anyone does see me in the gym I'll be sweating and pulling weird faces (while lifting weights it's not a touch or anything lol)certainly not on the prowl Nice to know I'm not alone in getting that vibe sometimes. I mean it would be great if women would approach men more but that's a whole other debate "I think most women in the gym are there to work out, same as most men. | |||
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"I'm far less confident as I've gotten older, and also put off by this whole "all men are creeps" thing flying around. Even in the gym nowadays women think guys are purely there to perve on them. If anyone does see me in the gym I'll be sweating and pulling weird faces (while lifting weights it's not a touch or anything lol)certainly not on the prowl Nice to know I'm not alone in getting that vibe sometimes. I mean it would be great if women would approach men more but that's a whole other debate
I think most women in the gym are there to work out, same as most men."I meant in general, not specifically in the gym. Tbh I can't recall seeing anyone hit on a woman or a guy in the gym | |||
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"Non-verbal cues. If you are focused on whether they want your attention, rather than how to get theirs it's not so complicated. It's something that's missing with a lot of the younger generation." This would make a huge difference. Even as someone who's never going to be amenable, if people notice that I'm looking at the door, I'm shifting uncomfortably, etc... The situation will end sooner
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"Non-verbal cues. If you are focused on whether they want your attention, rather than how to get theirs it's not so complicated. It's something that's missing with a lot of the younger generation." Very good point, I mean it can be obvious in bars when women don't want guys to approach them and I respect that. Although I'm my case, even when I can tell they might be keen I'm not very good at approaching | |||
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"Eye contact...if they do it first though." Exactly. As a young woman I would express interest in a guy by making she contact, he would either run screaming for the hills or approach me and start up a conversation. At other times I would be asked for a light, directions in the street, what time the next bus was, if someone was sitting at my table. Conversations would be started with mundane comments about the weather, how awful the journey was to get wherever we were etc etc. Is this all really lost in the current generation of daters? | |||
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"Maybe the reason why young women aren't as welcoming as they were in "ye olden days" is the ever increasing statistics of harassment and SA they experience? Just a thought. I rarely go to a bar, but if I did I think the guys who just chat to me as if I'm just a person would get a much better reception from me. Just a friendly chat is great - maybe it will lead somewhere but maybe it's just a chat and that's great. ". Sadly worries of sexual assault etc could effect both men and women in this area, to some degree anyway. I used to be very shy and I still need something to actually talk about! I could never come up with a chat up line, even on a swingers night lol pt | |||
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"Maybe the reason why young women aren't as welcoming as they were in "ye olden days" is the ever increasing statistics of harassment and SA they experience? Just a thought. I rarely go to a bar, but if I did I think the guys who just chat to me as if I'm just a person would get a much better reception from me. Just a friendly chat is great - maybe it will lead somewhere but maybe it's just a chat and that's great.
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Sadly worries of sexual assault etc could effect both men and women in this area, to some degree anyway.
I used to be very shy and I still need something to actually talk about! I could never come up with a chat up line, even on a swingers night lol
pt"My point was really that "chat up lines" aren't necessary. And are often either cheesy or creepy.  | |||
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"Maybe the reason why young women aren't as welcoming as they were in "ye olden days" is the ever increasing statistics of harassment and SA they experience? Just a thought. I rarely go to a bar, but if I did I think the guys who just chat to me as if I'm just a person would get a much better reception from me. Just a friendly chat is great - maybe it will lead somewhere but maybe it's just a chat and that's great.
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Sadly worries of sexual assault etc could effect both men and women in this area, to some degree anyway.
I used to be very shy and I still need something to actually talk about! I could never come up with a chat up line, even on a swingers night lol
pt
My point was really that "chat up lines" aren't necessary. And are often either cheesy or creepy.
"I think the whole idea of chat lines is just crap. It’s like “banter” - who is interested in childlike stupidity? If you treat people like adults and have an adult conversation then maybe you will find that you have interests that are aligned. Or you don’t. | |||
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"Maybe cause I don’t want sex with them I find it really easy to talk to women, but here’s the homo advice which is good for the hetties in a bar… Keep it situational. Not movies, music etc. that’s just weird. And random. You’re in a bar. Hey, any idea if they can make a decent (insert cocktail or whatever here)? I tried (other bar) this one seems more (adjective) what do you think? I wore this shirt for a bet. Did I lose? Etc. Simples. " This 100% | |||
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"If you think talking to women I’m a bar is hard try men. Talk. About. Pulling. Teeth. " I thought men just gave a nod then met out back for a fuck.  | |||
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"I feel quite sorry for people nowadays. Approaching people in person was the only way we got to meet :old person alert: 'iny day' . Guys would strike up a conversation on public transport, at bus stops, in shops, bars, pubs... literally everywhere. 99.9% of them took a gentle brush off with dignity. They would just say something really mundane like "when's the next bus?" Or "is that a cocktail you're drinking?" and the conversation would either take off or fizzle out. "Exactly this. People spend so long glued to their phones no one talks to each other anymore, it's seems so alien. I'm a big fan of interaction still, I know it's an outdated way of thinking but call me old school. | |||
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"If you think talking to women I’m a bar is hard try men. Talk. About. Pulling. Teeth. I thought men just gave a nod then met out back for a fuck. "I absolutely HATE it when men NOD. All of the sodding nodding. Why? (Cries in frustration) | |||
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"Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work. If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads " Go somewhere nice then. Stop hanging around dives | |||
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"Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work. If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads " Jeeze blokes have been going to boozer's after work in dirty clobber since the dawn of pub's. Perhaps the grandad is alone and the pub is only time he gets to see other people. | |||
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"Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work. If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads " How do you know they have grandkids? Weird introductory conversation to have. | |||
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"Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work. If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads " Stay out of spoons. | |||
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"I feel quite sorry for people nowadays. Approaching people in person was the only way we got to meet :old person alert: 'iny day' . Guys would strike up a conversation on public transport, at bus stops, in shops, bars, pubs... literally everywhere. 99.9% of them took a gentle brush off with dignity. They would just say something really mundane like "when's the next bus?" Or "is that a cocktail you're drinking?" and the conversation would either take off or fizzle out. "Yes this. In my early twenties this is how I met my girlfriends. But women would also approach you in a bar or club, normally one of their friends would come over and say my mate fancies you. You'd look over and she'd smile, walk over and have a chat. | |||
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"Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work. If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads " If they are hunched over their phone........ | |||
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"Maybe cause I don’t want sex with them I find it really easy to talk to women, but here’s the homo advice which is good for the hetties in a bar… Keep it situational. Not movies, music etc. that’s just weird. And random. " Personally, I disagree. You're approaching a stranger in a bar - it's inherently random. One of the best approaches I ever had was, 'read any good books lately?' It was weird and cute. And I had. A x | |||
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"What’s so random about strangers striking up a conversation in a bar? It’s like I’m reading a forum post from another planet! "lol That's what I thought, then I remember this is fab, someone will make some nonsensical statement just to be pedantic | |||
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" In the world such as it is with social media and all the various iterations such as WhatsApp snap insta etc human beings have lost the art of communication , instant conversation is just a click away . Back in the day you went to a bar to meet your mates have a few drinks and see where the night went (all part of the adventure) Dutch courage helped.. You might meet someone you might not , an organic conversation happens with them you find out you have things in common swap numbers and hopefully it continues the next day (or of lucky later that night) It requires work and conversation. These days it's a click and thumbs up and boom guys are like "hey wanna fuck" here's a pic of my dick . Now you can try that 100 times and you might get lucky . (See copy n paste) All easy behind a pc or phone . But try your luck in person with 100 potential partners and see what happens. I know I'm old ,but I'm a firm believer in not going out with the end in mind . I've met some amazing people in RL and on fab some I've dkeot with and others not but we've become friends. FAB isn't FB I know but it's a myriad of different people and thsts why I love it . As I said earlier the thing missing these days is the art of conversation which then potentially leads to different opportunities. Step outside your comfort zone , put yourself out there and see what happens " Sorry not sorry for all my waffle | |||
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"No way would I ever approach a woman in a pub or at a bus stop ,or anywhere else these days. Before you know it she will have rang the plod accusing you of being a sexual predetar or stalker . It's a sad reflection of what has happened to society that a man cannot approach a single woman and try to strike up a conversation without it being seen as some sort of sexual offence . It was never like this 30 years ago in my twenties when I went clubbing. Nowadays I would never try and approach a woman and chat to her. It's just not worth the risk " Absolutely, long gone are the days I'd be able to approach a stranger who's a beautiful young woman, telling her that from the moment I laid my eyes on her I knew she came from a wholesome, good family background and the we should get married by the end of the week and plan for both children to be delivered within the 2 years. One of whom is a male who will study engineering at university and carry on our family patriarchy, and the other, a keen seamstress and wholesome family oriented woman just like her mother. It's a crazy world we live in where this doesn't happen anymore. | |||
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"No way would I ever approach a woman in a pub or at a bus stop ,or anywhere else these days. Before you know it she will have rang the plod accusing you of being a sexual predetar or stalker . It's a sad reflection of what has happened to society that a man cannot approach a single woman and try to strike up a conversation without it being seen as some sort of sexual offence . It was never like this 30 years ago in my twenties when I went clubbing. Nowadays I would never try and approach a woman and chat to her. It's just not worth the risk Absolutely, long gone are the days I'd be able to approach a stranger who's a beautiful young woman, telling her that from the moment I laid my eyes on her I knew she came from a wholesome, good family background and the we should get married by the end of the week and plan for both children to be delivered within the 2 years. One of whom is a male who will study engineering at university and carry on our family patriarchy, and the other, a keen seamstress and wholesome family oriented woman just like her mother. It's a crazy world we live in where this doesn't happen anymore." Thanks for a good laugh. Now I'm going to get up and kick off the day. | |||
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& no not inbred our Grandma's were best friends | |||
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"No way would I ever approach a woman in a pub or at a bus stop ,or anywhere else these days. Before you know it she will have rang the plod accusing you of being a sexual predetar or stalker . It's a sad reflection of what has happened to society that a man cannot approach a single woman and try to strike up a conversation without it being seen as some sort of sexual offence . It was never like this 30 years ago in my twenties when I went clubbing. Nowadays I would never try and approach a woman and chat to her. It's just not worth the risk Absolutely, long gone are the days I'd be able to approach a stranger who's a beautiful young woman, telling her that from the moment I laid my eyes on her I knew she came from a wholesome, good family background and the we should get married by the end of the week and plan for both children to be delivered within the 2 years. One of whom is a male who will study engineering at university and carry on our family patriarchy, and the other, a keen seamstress and wholesome family oriented woman just like her mother. It's a crazy world we live in where this doesn't happen anymore." Crazy indeed | |||
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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) First, stop thinking about sex. Secondly, second open mouth and speak about life, music, film, the other guy, what she's wearing etc. " I was going to say very similar. The reason men get nervous ( a lot of the time ) is because they have failed to see a woman in a bar as a person. This isn't a feminist dig, this is pretty much obvious. A bloke wants female company or a shag and that's the mindset he goes out with. He is the predator and she is the prey. The wolf has one chance to not scare the sheep. | |||
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"What’s so random about strangers striking up a conversation in a bar? It’s like I’m reading a forum post from another planet! " | |||
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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) First, stop thinking about sex. Secondly, second open mouth and speak about life, music, film, the other guy, what she's wearing etc. I was going to say very similar. The reason men get nervous ( a lot of the time ) is because they have failed to see a woman in a bar as a person. This isn't a feminist dig, this is pretty much obvious. A bloke wants female company or a shag and that's the mindset he goes out with. He is the predator and she is the prey. The wolf has one chance to not scare the sheep. " I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling. take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it. women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12, I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online. | |||
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" I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling. take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it. women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12, I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online." Do you even like women or just want to shag them?
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" I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling. take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it. women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12, I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online. Do you even like women or just want to shag them?
"huh? that actually makes no, get a pen and note pad because it school them time, "men actually want to shag women because then do like them". Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments | |||
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"Also guys, don't mistake friendliness for sexual interest. Smiling and being nice is often a woman's default response. " SO. MUCH. THIS. Also applies online. | |||
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" I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling. take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it. women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12, I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online. Do you even like women or just want to shag them?
huh? that actually makes no, get a pen and note pad because it school them time, "men actually want to shag women because then do like them".
Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments"Your answer is hard to read. Lots of men want to fuck women without liking them. Plenty on here. So it's not nonsense. Why is it an attack to ask if you like women!? Your original comment reads as though you don't like them very much. And you put the blame for mens' bad behaviour on women. - they send unsolicited dick pics because we say no. | |||
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Dat said, not a chance. Even when I was a lot younger and stupid. | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move" Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? " I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention | |||
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"..women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to.... I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online. . Do you even like women or just want to shag them?
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..Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments". Dude you sound like you think all women are dumb jealous clubbers, and what you both "guarantee" and have "seen so many times" is just a generalisation that is a) focused entirely on clubbing, and b) just impossible to rely on. A lot of people are obviously much-more confident online (it hides so much) but why all the extra crap about the nature of woman here? pt | |||
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" I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling. take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it. women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12, I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online. Do you even like women or just want to shag them?
huh? that actually makes no, get a pen and note pad because it school them time, "men actually want to shag women because then do like them".
Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments
Your answer is hard to read. Lots of men want to fuck women without liking them. Plenty on here. So it's not nonsense.
Why is it an attack to ask if you like women!? Your original comment reads as though you don't like them very much. And you put the blame for mens' bad behaviour on women. - they send unsolicited dick pics because we say no. "1) why ask? because you know what you was doing, it was an passive aggressive attack masked as a question. 2) you was the one that described men as Predators now I'm questioning who is the real one with hatred 3) the cockpit statement was to point out the differences that males and females play in the sexual marketplace on this site, it's funny how you use this to construct your argument but left out the part where I said in brackets it's probably not going to win any dates 4) the only reason why you find my comments hard to read is because you can't nitpick it and find any constructive argument for what I have said and that's what's really burning you to keep replying. Anyway I can't see we're getting anything constructive from this back and forth so I'm gonna end all communications with you on this topic now, feel free to have the last word if it makes you happy | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention" I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet. | |||
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"Has to be up there with one of the most ridiculous threads I’ve seen. No wonder there’s so many posts crying about not getting meets if so many people are so scared to talk to the opposite sex, Jesus Christ. Grow a set of fucking balls!! " | |||
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" I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling. take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it. women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12, I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online. Do you even like women or just want to shag them?
huh? that actually makes no, get a pen and note pad because it school them time, "men actually want to shag women because then do like them".
Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments
Your answer is hard to read. Lots of men want to fuck women without liking them. Plenty on here. So it's not nonsense.
Why is it an attack to ask if you like women!? Your original comment reads as though you don't like them very much. And you put the blame for mens' bad behaviour on women. - they send unsolicited dick pics because we say no.
1) why ask? because you know what you was doing, it was an passive aggressive attack masked as a question.
2) you was the one that described men as Predators now I'm questioning who is the real one with hatred
3) the cockpit statement was to point out the differences that males and females play in the sexual marketplace on this site,
it's funny how you use this to construct your argument but left out the part where I said in brackets it's probably not going to win any dates
4) the only reason why you find my comments hard to read is because you can't nitpick it and find any constructive argument for what I have said and that's what's really burning you to keep replying.
Anyway I can't see we're getting anything constructive from this back and forth so I'm gonna end all communications with you on this topic now, feel free to have the last word if it makes you happy"1. It was a question. Interpret it as you like. 2. I did not describe men as predators. That was Granny C. 3. Don't know what a cockpit statement is? 4. I find them hard to read because you've left out words. | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet. "I told a man I wasn’t interested in a bar a few days ago on holiday. He did not take the hint. He pretty much followed me around the bar for 40 mins getting in my face, grabbing my arm and followed me to the bathroom where he tried to barge into my toilet cubicle Some of the language he used was disgusting and kept saying how ugly he must have been as I didn’t want him A group of gentlemen approached him and told him to back off before security came and intervened So you see not all men will stop talking when a woman is not interested And I’m not saying all men are like this, for me this was an isolated incident but bloody unnerving and scary | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet.
I told a man I wasn’t interested in a bar a few days ago on holiday. He did not take the hint. He pretty much followed me around the bar for 40 mins getting in my face, grabbing my arm and followed me to the bathroom where he tried to barge into my toilet cubicle
Some of the language he used was disgusting and kept saying how ugly he must have been as I didn’t want him
A group of gentlemen approached him and told him to back off before security came and intervened
So you see not all men will stop talking when a woman is not interested
And I’m not saying all men are like this, for me this was an isolated incident but bloody unnerving and scary "I said a man “can” stop talking. Am I not supposed to approach a woman and talk to her in a bar because a guy was a dick with you in Spain? Also a group of gentlemen intervened? So…. Good men outnumbered the bad man? This story is your personal experience and it’s unfortunate that happened to you but that doesn’t account for all men. | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet. "In all honesty that ties in closely with my youth. "Ee arr talk to Hans he likes the gobby ones" Not quite how I would phrase it but sign of the times. | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet.
I told a man I wasn’t interested in a bar a few days ago on holiday. He did not take the hint. He pretty much followed me around the bar for 40 mins getting in my face, grabbing my arm and followed me to the bathroom where he tried to barge into my toilet cubicle
Some of the language he used was disgusting and kept saying how ugly he must have been as I didn’t want him
A group of gentlemen approached him and told him to back off before security came and intervened
So you see not all men will stop talking when a woman is not interested
And I’m not saying all men are like this, for me this was an isolated incident but bloody unnerving and scary
I said a man “can” stop talking.
Am I not supposed to approach a woman and talk to her in a bar because a guy was a dick with you in Spain?
Also a group of gentlemen intervened? So…. Good men outnumbered the bad man?
This story is your personal experience and it’s unfortunate that happened to you but that doesn’t account for all men. "And as I said not all men are like that | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet.
I told a man I wasn’t interested in a bar a few days ago on holiday. He did not take the hint. He pretty much followed me around the bar for 40 mins getting in my face, grabbing my arm and followed me to the bathroom where he tried to barge into my toilet cubicle
Some of the language he used was disgusting and kept saying how ugly he must have been as I didn’t want him
A group of gentlemen approached him and told him to back off before security came and intervened
So you see not all men will stop talking when a woman is not interested
And I’m not saying all men are like this, for me this was an isolated incident but bloody unnerving and scary
I said a man “can” stop talking.
Am I not supposed to approach a woman and talk to her in a bar because a guy was a dick with you in Spain?
Also a group of gentlemen intervened? So…. Good men outnumbered the bad man?
This story is your personal experience and it’s unfortunate that happened to you but that doesn’t account for all men. "It's a horrible story. And in her place I'd be avoiding men because that's a scary situation to have experienced. 
But I do agree with you. It's not all men. A woman can say she's not interested and that should be enough. | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet. "So it’s ok for woman in bars to constantly have men approaching them? | |||
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"..women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to.... I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online. . Do you even like women or just want to shag them?
.
..Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments
.
Dude you sound like you think all women are dumb jealous clubbers, and what you both "guarantee" and have "seen so many times" is just a generalisation that is a) focused entirely on clubbing, and b) just impossible to rely on.
A lot of people are obviously much-more confident online (it hides so much) but why all the extra crap about the nature of woman here?
pt the reason why people more comfortable online is because can sit there and lie of create whatever person that they want and put themselves on a pedestal but when face reality face to face it's not so easy to do that and this is the reason why some people are not confident and can't go up to talk to people. "It's really strange but he was equally challenging yet you didn't get reply aggressively to him. Curious. | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet.
So it’s ok for woman in bars to constantly have men approaching them? "Is this happening now as we speak or are you making up a scenario? | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet.
So it’s ok for woman in bars to constantly have men approaching them? "What? That's not what he said? Are you saying men are never allowed to approach women in bars? | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet.
So it’s ok for woman in bars to constantly have men approaching them?
What? That's not what he said? Are you saying men are never allowed to approach women in bars? "I’m not no, just saying that some men out like predators. Not all men | |||
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"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move Why?? Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society. A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking. You know, like before the internet.
So it’s ok for woman in bars to constantly have men approaching them?
What? That's not what he said? Are you saying men are never allowed to approach women in bars?
I’m not no, just saying that some men out like predators. Not all men
"This isn’t a thread about sexual predators though? It’s about approaching the opposite sex in a bar, to talk, that’s it, it’s not Ted Bundys autobiography. | |||
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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) First, stop thinking about sex. Secondly, second open mouth and speak about life, music, film, the other guy, what she's wearing etc. I was going to say very similar. The reason men get nervous ( a lot of the time ) is because they have failed to see a woman in a bar as a person. This isn't a feminist dig, this is pretty much obvious. A bloke wants female company or a shag and that's the mindset he goes out with. He is the predator and she is the prey. The wolf has one chance to not scare the sheep. I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling. take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it. women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12, I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online." It is good that you disagree and give your own point of view BUT it's a huge pity that you couldn't do it without calling other people's posts 'nonsense' ESPECIALLY as your first paragraph agrees with what I said , just in different words. | |||
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I'm sorry to generalise but hundreds of women I've spoken to about dating, all say the same thing. Guys never ask us questions, they don't make the effort to get to know us.
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"Amen!! Talking to guys is like pulling teeth. It's sometimes exhausting. My 4yr old nephew has a better vocabulary than most of the men I've spoken to. Hot tip guys.... If you're on a date, please stop just talking about yourself I'm sorry to generalise but hundreds of women I've spoken to about dating, all say the same thing. Guys never ask us questions, they don't make the effort to get to know us.
"Hundreds of women? Really? I've not found it to be too much of an issue. | |||
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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) First, stop thinking about sex. Secondly, second open mouth and speak about life, music, film, the other guy, what she's wearing etc. I was going to say very similar. The reason men get nervous ( a lot of the time ) is because they have failed to see a woman in a bar as a person. This isn't a feminist dig, this is pretty much obvious. A bloke wants female company or a shag and that's the mindset he goes out with. He is the predator and she is the prey. The wolf has one chance to not scare the sheep. I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling. take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it. women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12, I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online." Now this really is nonsense. I used to go to Chams regularly on a Sunday when I was in my 20s and there was a BBW night occasionally at that time. I’d go despite being a size 10 at that time and never once did the attention turn to me on arrival. The guys there were either actively looking for BBW or taking each woman as an individual rather than a body size. | |||
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" I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling. take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it. women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12, I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online. Do you even like women or just want to shag them?
huh? that actually makes no, get a pen and note pad because it school them time, "men actually want to shag women because then do like them".
Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments
Your answer is hard to read. Lots of men want to fuck women without liking them. Plenty on here. So it's not nonsense.
Why is it an attack to ask if you like women!? Your original comment reads as though you don't like them very much. And you put the blame for mens' bad behaviour on women. - they send unsolicited dick pics because we say no.
1) why ask? because you know what you was doing, it was an passive aggressive attack masked as a question.
2) you was the one that described men as Predators now I'm questioning who is the real one with hatred
3) the cockpit statement was to point out the differences that males and females play in the sexual marketplace on this site,
it's funny how you use this to construct your argument but left out the part where I said in brackets it's probably not going to win any dates
4) the only reason why you find my comments hard to read is because you can't nitpick it and find any constructive argument for what I have said and that's what's really burning you to keep replying.
Anyway I can't see we're getting anything constructive from this back and forth so I'm gonna end all communications with you on this topic now, feel free to have the last word if it makes you happy
1. It was a question. Interpret it as you like.
2. I did not describe men as predators. That was Granny C.
3. Don't know what a cockpit statement is?
4. I find them hard to read because you've left out words. "I did. I did . It was me. I said predator....... I didn't say #all men though....... | |||
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"This is such a sad thread " Why Fluffy , Why? | |||
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"Amen!! Talking to guys is like pulling teeth. It's sometimes exhausting. My 4yr old nephew has a better vocabulary than most of the men I've spoken to. Hot tip guys.... If you're on a date, please stop just talking about yourself I'm sorry to generalise but hundreds of women I've spoken to about dating, all say the same thing. Guys never ask us questions, they don't make the effort to get to know us.
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"This is such a sad thread Why Fluffy , Why?" Because, cranky grumpet, we’re in the 21st century and there are still men out there who can’t figure out how to talk to women in bars! Mind you, I guess it goes some way to explain why so many on here have the conversational skills of a dead rat and just send dick pics | |||
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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) " confidence and maintain eye contact as much as possible, smile cheekily and if she smiles back it’s a good place to start talking When you see someone punching above it’s one of two things, loads of confidence or loads of money hahahaha | |||
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"Amen!! Talking to guys is like pulling teeth. It's sometimes exhausting. My 4yr old nephew has a better vocabulary than most of the men I've spoken to. Hot tip guys.... If you're on a date, please stop just talking about yourself I'm sorry to generalise but hundreds of women I've spoken to about dating, all say the same thing. Guys never ask us questions, they don't make the effort to get to know us.
"Might wanna pick better guys to date if that’s all your getting If all you’re getting is trash, maybe the trash is all that wants you? | |||
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"This is such a sad thread Why Fluffy , Why? Because, cranky grumpet, we’re in the 21st century and there are still men out there who can’t figure out how to talk to women in bars! Mind you, I guess it goes some way to explain why so many on here have the conversational skills of a dead rat and just send dick pics "Song keeps going through my head on this thread...... Gary Numan In Bar arssssss | |||
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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) confidence and maintain eye contact as much as possible, smile cheekily and if she smiles back it’s a good place to start talking When you see someone punching above it’s one of two things, loads of confidence or loads of money hahahaha " This made me lol | |||
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"A mind one time at closing time just getting ready to leave and my pal had pulled i hadnt and spotted a guy at the end of the bar he was lovely made eye contact with each other and kept looking and as i was walking past him i nodded to him to come he did and we got a taxi to mine and the rest well you can guess lol.. met a few times after that night. Ive never done anything like that again lol "Nodded at him, like summoning him you femme fatale you  | |||
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"Amen!! Talking to guys is like pulling teeth. It's sometimes exhausting. My 4yr old nephew has a better vocabulary than most of the men I've spoken to. Hot tip guys.... If you're on a date, please stop just talking about yourself I'm sorry to generalise but hundreds of women I've spoken to about dating, all say the same thing. Guys never ask us questions, they don't make the effort to get to know us.". When I first started online dating (it was around 2004 I think when I was unable to go out the way I wanted to - so I joined Guardian Soulmates and then Match!) I'd go on dates and expect conversations to ebb and flow naturally. There was one woman who didn't speak at all (just once or twice when I asked her opinion), so I always filled the gaps. Afterwards I felt really uncomfortable about talking too much, but it turned out she was waiting to be asked specific questions. I thought I did, but I didn't quite and I didn't pursue things enough either I just filled the spaces. It just wasn't a great date (likely my worse on reflection!). I don't know how badly she thought of me (it didn't seem to end too badly) I just wish she didn't feel like she had to be asked just to speak. I was really easy going, and back then even a little shy too. I think I might have felt that over-questioning women was a bit rude and intrusive (even into my 30's) - and I really wanted women just to talk openly when they felt like it. I do ask more questions if I ever date now (I adapt better to a lot of things probably), but I would still rather things were more natural and open. To be honest, when things work between people (especially in relationships, maybe not necessarily just hooking up) it surely needs a natural flow? All my actual relationships have come from natural flow. pt | |||
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"A mind one time at closing time just getting ready to leave and my pal had pulled i hadnt and spotted a guy at the end of the bar he was lovely made eye contact with each other and kept looking and as i was walking past him i nodded to him to come he did and we got a taxi to mine and the rest well you can guess lol.. met a few times after that night. Ive never done anything like that again lol Nodded at him, like summoning him you femme fatale you "Yeah haha mustve been the vodka giving me courage lol | |||
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"Crikey this world is going to be a really lonely transicent place. What ever happened to a smile and throw away line to break the ice?? ",, they dont have a clue today.. | |||
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 could be broken nose time | |||
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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) " Take the laugh and come back with something its the only way | |||
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"Compliment a lady then the balls in their court if they wish to engage. Worst they say is no then at least you know you gave it a go" I think a compliment might immediately make a woman more guarded. | |||
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"Just a random opening line, something funny/goofy/charming/complimentary/completely random. If she reacts in a positive way keep it going, if not carry on with your evening. Weirdly the completely random ones seem to be better ice breakers. " I think random is less creepy than an actual compliment. | |||
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"Compliment a lady then the balls in their court if they wish to engage. Worst they say is no then at least you know you gave it a go I think a compliment might immediately make a woman more guarded. " | |||
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"Compliment a lady then the balls in their court if they wish to engage. Worst they say is no then at least you know you gave it a go I think a compliment might immediately make a woman more guarded. " I agree but it does indicate to me that a man isn't just being friendly so gives me the opportunity to immediately close the conversation if I'm not interested. | |||
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"A couple weeks ago. Female family friend in her early thirties told me she was going out with female friends for girly night out. I was doing school run for her as her car broken and getting replacement. Now she is divorced and was going out with other females who were either like her divorced, single or married. This on the Friday . They were going out Friday night. Saw again on Monday as no car. Asked if had good night on the Friday. She told me her and friends went home early. This due to a few guys pestering them. Would not leave them to enjoy evening . As others have said previous. She and her friends had evening ruined . Due to a few males not taking not interested for an answer . How do females get around this type of situation ? " Nowadays if they were persistent to the point I felt I needed to go home I'd either speak to a bouncer or move to another venue. I'm of the age now when men don't approach me in bars etc but when they did it was extremely rare for them not to accept a 'no'. | |||
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"So how would you suggest it's done??" Who are you talking to? | |||
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"A couple weeks ago. Female family friend in her early thirties told me she was going out with female friends for girly night out. I was doing school run for her as her car broken and getting replacement. Now she is divorced and was going out with other females who were either like her divorced, single or married. This on the Friday . They were going out Friday night. Saw again on Monday as no car. Asked if had good night on the Friday. She told me her and friends went home early. This due to a few guys pestering them. Would not leave them to enjoy evening . As others have said previous. She and her friends had evening ruined . Due to a few males not taking not interested for an answer . How do females get around this type of situation ? Nowadays if they were persistent to the point I felt I needed to go home I'd either speak to a bouncer or move to another venue. I'm of the age now when men don't approach me in bars etc but when they did it was extremely rare for them not to accept a 'no'. " I perhaps should have put. Female friend had complained . The persistent males just moved to next seating area. Which was adjacent to where friend sitting with her friends. They did not move to another venue. Their thought was the guys would follow . Perhaps one off ? . But female friend and her friends had evening ruined by ignorant males . | |||
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"I feel quite sorry for people nowadays. Approaching people in person was the only way we got to meet :old person alert: 'iny day' . Guys would strike up a conversation on public transport, at bus stops, in shops, bars, pubs... literally everywhere. 99.9% of them took a gentle brush off with dignity. They would just say something really mundane like "when's the next bus?" Or "is that a cocktail you're drinking?" and the conversation would either take off or fizzle out. "I would say the good old days but I still do it now, nothing wrong with it | |||
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"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar. I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days. I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol) " Things men say to me that will get a reply at a bar: I love your shoes/hair/jacket/ any specific item of clothing or jewellery that you *actually* like. A genuine compliment on my style rather than my body is always welcome. Start there. If she's interested she will chat. If you get stuck for more, one of the best closing lines ever, and I'll give this to you all for free, is "I won't take any more of your time, but could I get your number and flirt with you later?" You're welcome | |||
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"I drive a BMW. Does that impress you? No? Well perhaps the size of my cock will. " Funny, I have had guys try this approach, almost verbatim in person  | |||
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"I drive a BMW. Does that impress you? No? Well perhaps the size of my cock will. " Just stick to the speed limit is all I ask | |||
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"I've never met a partner online. I appreciate that's probably due to my age and the fact we've been together over 20 years... However, I happily chat to people in all sorts of places. As others have said, normal conversation is fine. A non sexual compliment is great.. mentioning my boobs, arse or sex as a conversation starter is not. Surely it's just common sense? Nita" If common sense was common life would be a lot simpler | |||
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"I've never met a partner online. I appreciate that's probably due to my age and the fact we've been together over 20 years... However, I happily chat to people in all sorts of places. As others have said, normal conversation is fine. A non sexual compliment is great.. mentioning my boobs, arse or sex as a conversation starter is not. Surely it's just common sense? Nita If common sense was common life would be a lot simpler "Wouldn't it just | |||
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which is great as I’m a rare social drinker. I meet more women at the gym than bars. 1 of the best places to meet actually just ask them to spot you (at a weight you can secretly do by yourself really) lol they will take it as a compliment you asked & trusted them that much  | |||
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"Last woman I approached at the bar, bought me a drink & we dated for 6yrs that was my ex. Nowadays I’ll be honest ‘i just can’t be bothered’ lol which is great as I’m a rare social drinker. I meet more women at the gym than bars. 1 of the best places to meet actually just ask them to spot you (at a weight you can secretly do by yourself really) lol they will take it as a compliment you asked & trusted them that much "This is cute, I've made plenty of gym friends of all genders. And I agree asking for help is a way better bet than offering advice. Actually asking for help generally (anywhere public, and safe for her) is a good way to start a conversation. You need to read the cues if she's not interested though. | |||
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"Last woman I approached at the bar, bought me a drink & we dated for 6yrs that was my ex. Nowadays I’ll be honest ‘i just can’t be bothered’ lol which is great as I’m a rare social drinker. I meet more women at the gym than bars. 1 of the best places to meet actually just ask them to spot you (at a weight you can secretly do by yourself really) lol they will take it as a compliment you asked & trusted them that much
This is cute, I've made plenty of gym friends of all genders. And I agree asking for help is a way better bet than offering advice.
Actually asking for help generally (anywhere public, and safe for her) is a good way to start a conversation. You need to read the cues if she's not interested though. "Exactly & you spot on, situational awareness is essential when approaching someone | |||
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