FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Approaching women in an actual bar

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

"

First, stop thinking about sex. Secondly, second open mouth and speak about life, music, film, the other guy, what she's wearing etc.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First, stop thinking about sex.

Second, stop thinking about sex.

Third, go home, she's probably waiting for her muscle-riddled hypersexual hung bf while her millionaire hubby is abroad for work.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've actually given yourself the perfect opener.

"It's been so long since I've spoken to someone at a bar that I no longer know what the etiquette is"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire


"First, stop thinking about sex.

Second, stop thinking about sex.

Third, go home, she's probably waiting for her muscle-riddled hypersexual hung bf while her millionaire hubby is abroad for work."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe cause I don’t want sex with them I find it really easy to talk to women, but here’s the homo advice which is good for the hetties in a bar…

Keep it situational. Not movies, music etc. that’s just weird. And random.

You’re in a bar.

Hey, any idea if they can make a decent (insert cocktail or whatever here)?

I tried (other bar) this one seems more (adjective) what do you think?

I wore this shirt for a bet. Did I lose?

Etc.

Simples.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You've actually given yourself the perfect opener.

"It's been so long since I've spoken to someone at a bar that I no longer know what the etiquette is" "

And I like this

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eardyBikerMan
over a year ago

nr stonehaven


"You've actually given yourself the perfect opener.

"It's been so long since I've spoken to someone at a bar that I no longer know what the etiquette is" "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I feel quite sorry for people nowadays. Approaching people in person was the only way we got to meet :old person alert: 'iny day' . Guys would strike up a conversation on public transport, at bus stops, in shops, bars, pubs... literally everywhere. 99.9% of them took a gentle brush off with dignity. They would just say something really mundane like "when's the next bus?" Or "is that a cocktail you're drinking?" and the conversation would either take off or fizzle out.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite the general advice from women (and society) is to leave women alone. Lots of women still crave that natural meeting. They’ve kinda shot themselves in the foot there

My advice would be to treat it like making friends. Just talk like she’s a normal person, because that’s what she is. No “game” or “ lines”. Be respectful, don’t be a push over, be honest with your intent and respect any kind of “leave me alone” energy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rimordialPaladinMan
over a year ago

Brixton


"You've actually given yourself the perfect opener.

"It's been so long since I've spoken to someone at a bar that I no longer know what the etiquette is" "

That's crazy weirdo vibes I'd run for the hills if I guy said that to me or does that make me homophobic

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

Never done it and probably never will. Putting pictures of my naked body on line much easier

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think talking to women I’m a bar is hard try men. Talk. About. Pulling. Teeth.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *sername already in useMan
over a year ago

manchester

I miss the days when people went out and met in bars and had actual conversations, face to face.

What times they were.

Not now, imagine knowing somebody’s name before knowing what their genitals look like… mental.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

Ive spoken to 100's of males who have only dated via the net.They have never even thought about ''chatting someone up'' at a bar or club.

I much prefer to meet someone that does not have an app.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aissez-faireMan
over a year ago

Right behind you…. Boo


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

"

Don’t, under any circumstances, get your cock out until it has been requested. the real world is definitely not Fab!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

"

Ask the guys posting about how terrible Fab is and how impossible it is to meet women here despite claiming to doing brilliantly in real life! They will put you straight.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird."

See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me.

But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird.

See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me.

But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works "

Ignore this as it’s an overly negative view, which not only is common on here, but I think the person in general too

Most people are going to be completely fine with a respectable approach, don’t let a few negative Nannie’s get you in your own head

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird.

See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me.

But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works "

The trick is not to 'hit' on women. Just talk to them as if they're human beings and if they seem quite cool towards you smile and walk away.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird.

See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me.

But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works

Ignore this as it’s an overly negative view, which not only is common on here, but I think the person in general too

Most people are going to be completely fine with a respectable approach, don’t let a few negative Nannie’s get you in your own head "

So because my view is negative, it's not allowed?

I thought he'd asked for a woman's opinion.

Last I checked, I'm female.

I did also say I'm probably not representative.

But I'm female, and this is my view. It's weird, and when people make small talk with me in bars or similar, I'm immediately trying to make a polite escape.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I actually find it easy to speak to women in public nowadays - I think that is because I am just more confident in myself and also because I always treat any conversation in a bar as just a conversation and I think that is picked up by the ladies.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I kinda wish "single bars" were still a thing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird.

See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me.

But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works

Ignore this as it’s an overly negative view, which not only is common on here, but I think the person in general too

Most people are going to be completely fine with a respectable approach, don’t let a few negative Nannie’s get you in your own head

So because my view is negative, it's not allowed?

I thought he'd asked for a woman's opinion.

Last I checked, I'm female.

I did also say I'm probably not representative.

But I'm female, and this is my view. It's weird, and when people make small talk with me in bars or similar, I'm immediately trying to make a polite escape."

It’s allowed, I’m just saying he shouldn’t base his feelings on one persons negative views

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I actually find it easy to speak to women in public nowadays - I think that is because I am just more confident in myself and also because I always treat any conversation in a bar as just a conversation and I think that is picked up by the ladies. "

I think this is right.

I'm not going to be receptive. I'm just not. But (unless there are other screaming red flags going on) I'm not standing there thinking "predator criminal offender". I'm standing there thinking "I have no idea why this person is talking to me, how can I extricate myself from this weird situation?"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I feel quite sorry for people nowadays. Approaching people in person was the only way we got to meet :old person alert: 'iny day' . Guys would strike up a conversation on public transport, at bus stops, in shops, bars, pubs... literally everywhere. 99.9% of them took a gentle brush off with dignity. They would just say something really mundane like "when's the next bus?" Or "is that a cocktail you're drinking?" and the conversation would either take off or fizzle out. "

Tbh I feel sorry for people like me back in "your day".

Have uncomfortable conversations with strangers, go to a noisy hellhole and have uncomfortable conversations with strangers, hope a family member sets you up, or die alone

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd rather not be approached. I've got no idea if I'm in the minority or not, but I've never had an encounter like that that hasn't been profoundly weird.

See this is exactly why I don't do it. Swiping away on dating apps is much easier and I'm pretty comfortable going on a date when I know that lady has at least some interest in meeting me.

But I see some guys who pull it off in bars. They just seem to not care about being rejected and keep hitting on women till it works "

Definitely don’t do the “keep hitting on women until it works” thing either

People do notice and you do end up looking kinda creepy and desperate.

Just get out there and chat. You’d be surprised how open most women are to it. 1000s of people pull every weekend in pubs/bars

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I think a lot of people think that because women are saying they don't like predatory creeps who won't take no for an answer approaching them they will dial 999 as soon as a man glances in their direction. Normal human interaction is fine

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 25/10/23 15:51:44]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I think a lot of people think that because women are saying they don't like predatory creeps who won't take no for an answer approaching them they will dial 999 as soon as a man glances in their direction. Normal human interaction is fine "

I agree.

I just don't recognise flirting in the moment. It's not for me.

I remember one point where a guy physically stopped me in the street and started gushing about my eye colour. I was on my way to Boots, as it happens, because I was horrifically constipated. Took me about two weeks to realise wtf that was all about. All I could think about in the moment was, how do I get away from this situation without being horrendously rude?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

I'm far less confident as I've gotten older, and also put off by this whole "all men are creeps" thing flying around.

Even in the gym nowadays women think guys are purely there to perve on them.

If anyone does see me in the gym I'll be sweating and pulling weird faces (while lifting weights it's not a touch or anything lol)certainly not on the prowl

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think a lot of people think that because women are saying they don't like predatory creeps who won't take no for an answer approaching them they will dial 999 as soon as a man glances in their direction. Normal human interaction is fine

I agree.

I just don't recognise flirting in the moment. It's not for me.

I remember one point where a guy physically stopped me in the street and started gushing about my eye colour. I was on my way to Boots, as it happens, because I was horrifically constipated. Took me about two weeks to realise wtf that was all about. All I could think about in the moment was, how do I get away from this situation without being horrendously rude? "

I suggest if that happens again you simply tell the hapless gentleman about your urgent mission. That'll stop him in his tracks

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You've actually given yourself the perfect opener.

"It's been so long since I've spoken to someone at a bar that I no longer know what the etiquette is"

That's crazy weirdo vibes I'd run for the hills if I guy said that to me or does that make me homophobic "

If you think being honest and straightforward is a "crazy weirdo vibe" then I can't help you. Not quite sure where the homophobia fits into all this but yeah, probably.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Also guys, don't mistake friendliness for sexual interest. Smiling and being nice is often a woman's default response.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I think a lot of people think that because women are saying they don't like predatory creeps who won't take no for an answer approaching them they will dial 999 as soon as a man glances in their direction. Normal human interaction is fine

I agree.

I just don't recognise flirting in the moment. It's not for me.

I remember one point where a guy physically stopped me in the street and started gushing about my eye colour. I was on my way to Boots, as it happens, because I was horrifically constipated. Took me about two weeks to realise wtf that was all about. All I could think about in the moment was, how do I get away from this situation without being horrendously rude?

I suggest if that happens again you simply tell the hapless gentleman about your urgent mission. That'll stop him in his tracks "

These days my "advanced" age and FFP3 seem to put people off, thank fuck. Let the woman go to Boots

But basically all the situations where I've worked out later it might be flirting were like this. Stranger engages in bewildering conversation. I try to make polite escape (note to people talking about "all men are creeps" - polite escape. I'm not trying to say anyone's a creep, I'm just saying I don't want to engage in this conversation). Later I realise why bewildering conversation occurred. This realisation makes it no better. I still want to be left the fuck alone, particularly as in the moment it's just bewildering and inconvenient.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm far less confident as I've gotten older, and also put off by this whole "all men are creeps" thing flying around.

Even in the gym nowadays women think guys are purely there to perve on them.

If anyone does see me in the gym I'll be sweating and pulling weird faces (while lifting weights it's not a touch or anything lol)certainly not on the prowl "

Nice to know I'm not alone in getting that vibe sometimes.

I mean it would be great if women would approach men more but that's a whole other debate

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'm far less confident as I've gotten older, and also put off by this whole "all men are creeps" thing flying around.

Even in the gym nowadays women think guys are purely there to perve on them.

If anyone does see me in the gym I'll be sweating and pulling weird faces (while lifting weights it's not a touch or anything lol)certainly not on the prowl

Nice to know I'm not alone in getting that vibe sometimes.

I mean it would be great if women would approach men more but that's a whole other debate "

I think most women in the gym are there to work out, same as most men.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm far less confident as I've gotten older, and also put off by this whole "all men are creeps" thing flying around.

Even in the gym nowadays women think guys are purely there to perve on them.

If anyone does see me in the gym I'll be sweating and pulling weird faces (while lifting weights it's not a touch or anything lol)certainly not on the prowl

Nice to know I'm not alone in getting that vibe sometimes.

I mean it would be great if women would approach men more but that's a whole other debate

I think most women in the gym are there to work out, same as most men."

I meant in general, not specifically in the gym. Tbh I can't recall seeing anyone hit on a woman or a guy in the gym

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Eye contact...if they do it first though.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Non-verbal cues. If you are focused on whether they want your attention, rather than how to get theirs it's not so complicated.

It's something that's missing with a lot of the younger generation.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Non-verbal cues. If you are focused on whether they want your attention, rather than how to get theirs it's not so complicated.

It's something that's missing with a lot of the younger generation."

This would make a huge difference.

Even as someone who's never going to be amenable, if people notice that I'm looking at the door, I'm shifting uncomfortably, etc... The situation will end sooner

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Non-verbal cues. If you are focused on whether they want your attention, rather than how to get theirs it's not so complicated.

It's something that's missing with a lot of the younger generation."

Very good point, I mean it can be obvious in bars when women don't want guys to approach them and I respect that.

Although I'm my case, even when I can tell they might be keen I'm not very good at approaching

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Eye contact...if they do it first though."

Exactly. As a young woman I would express interest in a guy by making she contact, he would either run screaming for the hills or approach me and start up a conversation. At other times I would be asked for a light, directions in the street, what time the next bus was, if someone was sitting at my table. Conversations would be started with mundane comments about the weather, how awful the journey was to get wherever we were etc etc.

Is this all really lost in the current generation of daters?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the reason why young women aren't as welcoming as they were in "ye olden days" is the ever increasing statistics of harassment and SA they experience? Just a thought.

I rarely go to a bar, but if I did I think the guys who just chat to me as if I'm just a person would get a much better reception from me. Just a friendly chat is great - maybe it will lead somewhere but maybe it's just a chat and that's great.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Maybe the reason why young women aren't as welcoming as they were in "ye olden days" is the ever increasing statistics of harassment and SA they experience? Just a thought.

I rarely go to a bar, but if I did I think the guys who just chat to me as if I'm just a person would get a much better reception from me. Just a friendly chat is great - maybe it will lead somewhere but maybe it's just a chat and that's great.

"

.

Sadly worries of sexual assault etc could effect both men and women in this area, to some degree anyway.

I used to be very shy and I still need something to actually talk about! I could never come up with a chat up line, even on a swingers night lol

pt

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I could give my younger self some advice it would be not to try and meet women in bars.

Spend more time doing things you enjoy and you're more likely to meet someone with similar interests and have a ready made conversation starter.

Unless you are naturally extroverted and love socialising, bars are way too generic and there's too much pressure to try and make a good impression.

If you must, start practicing making conversation with anyone who comes your way, the bar staff, the lonely widower who used to come in with his wife, whoever. You'll be much more likely to come across as someone who's being friendly, and if it's somewhere you go regularly, you'll get a reputation for being someone approachable who's not just trying to chat up women, and the way people interact with you will be seen by anyone who does take your fancy.

Ah hindsight

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe the reason why young women aren't as welcoming as they were in "ye olden days" is the ever increasing statistics of harassment and SA they experience? Just a thought.

I rarely go to a bar, but if I did I think the guys who just chat to me as if I'm just a person would get a much better reception from me. Just a friendly chat is great - maybe it will lead somewhere but maybe it's just a chat and that's great.

.

Sadly worries of sexual assault etc could effect both men and women in this area, to some degree anyway.

I used to be very shy and I still need something to actually talk about! I could never come up with a chat up line, even on a swingers night lol

pt"

My point was really that "chat up lines" aren't necessary. And are often either cheesy or creepy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Maybe the reason why young women aren't as welcoming as they were in "ye olden days" is the ever increasing statistics of harassment and SA they experience? Just a thought.

I rarely go to a bar, but if I did I think the guys who just chat to me as if I'm just a person would get a much better reception from me. Just a friendly chat is great - maybe it will lead somewhere but maybe it's just a chat and that's great.

.

Sadly worries of sexual assault etc could effect both men and women in this area, to some degree anyway.

I used to be very shy and I still need something to actually talk about! I could never come up with a chat up line, even on a swingers night lol

pt

My point was really that "chat up lines" aren't necessary. And are often either cheesy or creepy.

"

I think the whole idea of chat lines is just crap. It’s like “banter” - who is interested in childlike stupidity?

If you treat people like adults and have an adult conversation then maybe you will find that you have interests that are aligned. Or you don’t.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I think the older people get the happier they are just smiling at each other then chatting in general anyway.

This is definitely harder for young people I think. They are often either a bit too self-conscious or they haven't quite learnt how to hide it!

pt

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe cause I don’t want sex with them I find it really easy to talk to women, but here’s the homo advice which is good for the hetties in a bar…

Keep it situational. Not movies, music etc. that’s just weird. And random.

You’re in a bar.

Hey, any idea if they can make a decent (insert cocktail or whatever here)?

I tried (other bar) this one seems more (adjective) what do you think?

I wore this shirt for a bet. Did I lose?

Etc.

Simples. "

This 100%

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Speak to everyone in public, not just those who you find attractive. You don't need any objectives other than to be sociable and to become more practiced doing so. You can include doing this in bars and clubs, as well as when you fancy them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Wait, people still go to bars?

Most of the pub's round here are either closed, empty of full of pissed up( insert for location) students or sailors in this case and then the chances of finding a (woman in the case of this thread) either alone or sober are slim and then unless you happen to be the best smooth talker in the world your probably likely to get told to fuck off before you even get two words out.

I genuinely think "going out on the pull" is definitely something from the past.

In my very limited experience most conversations usually start by accident anyway or through a mutual acquaintance.

But I haven't tried chatting anyone up since the mid 80's so fuck do I know anyways.

" pint of Skol and a babycham for the lady or would you prefer a Cinzano?"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think talking to women I’m a bar is hard try men. Talk. About. Pulling. Teeth. "

I thought men just gave a nod then met out back for a fuck.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall


"I feel quite sorry for people nowadays. Approaching people in person was the only way we got to meet :old person alert: 'iny day' . Guys would strike up a conversation on public transport, at bus stops, in shops, bars, pubs... literally everywhere. 99.9% of them took a gentle brush off with dignity. They would just say something really mundane like "when's the next bus?" Or "is that a cocktail you're drinking?" and the conversation would either take off or fizzle out. "

Exactly this. People spend so long glued to their phones no one talks to each other anymore, it's seems so alien.

I'm a big fan of interaction still, I know it's an outdated way of thinking but call me old school.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think talking to women I’m a bar is hard try men. Talk. About. Pulling. Teeth.

I thought men just gave a nod then met out back for a fuck. "

I absolutely HATE it when men NOD. All of the sodding nodding. Why? (Cries in frustration)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shall we all get our Werther's originals whilst we dismiss all of the young folk today and their uncommunicative ways?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you use bar to buy drink it no difference than saying

You cum here often

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work.

If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work.

If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads "

Go somewhere nice then.

Stop hanging around dives

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work.

If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads "

Jeeze blokes have been going to boozer's after work in dirty clobber since the dawn of pub's.

Perhaps the grandad is alone and the pub is only time he gets to see other people.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *alentino7Man
over a year ago

London

I adjusted to the new ways of meeting people by app etc but have no issue to talk to people in public places. That's much better in my opinion + saves several steps, avoid time wasters

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did this for the first time ever at 46 the other day. Was at gig spent the night dancing with these 2 ladies and having a great night. Asked the 1 if I could give her my number. She was seeing someone but got a lot of respect for doing it.

Definitely feeling better about it in future.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *sername already in useMan
over a year ago

manchester


"Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work.

If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads "

How do you know they have grandkids?

Weird introductory conversation to have.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work.

If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads "

Stay out of spoons.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just do what alotta men do here (online)....Approach with your Dick out & say 'wanna fk' that'll get ya far....Not!!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Women don't exactly behave like angels these days lots pre drink and end up shitfaced before they get to the pub.

Ever seen a pack of women on a night out Sheesh men beware.

Obviously before I get lynched it's not all women just like not all men are violent idiots.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind being approached. A friendly hello, a little conversation. But make sure to read body language, eye contact and remember that you don't have to be inappropriate just because you're trying to pull. If she doesn't seem interested, respect that and walk away. If she is keen and conversation is flowing and natural just get a bit flirty and see where it leads.

It's a tough one because everyone is so different and some women don't want to be approached at all.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel quite sorry for people nowadays. Approaching people in person was the only way we got to meet :old person alert: 'iny day' . Guys would strike up a conversation on public transport, at bus stops, in shops, bars, pubs... literally everywhere. 99.9% of them took a gentle brush off with dignity. They would just say something really mundane like "when's the next bus?" Or "is that a cocktail you're drinking?" and the conversation would either take off or fizzle out. "

Yes this.

In my early twenties this is how I met my girlfriends. But women would also approach you in a bar or club, normally one of their friends would come over and say my mate fancies you. You'd look over and she'd smile, walk over and have a chat.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spots male at bar.. Oh he is so oozing.. Nothing but BO he just walked into bar from work.

If going by bars these days most are scruffy and smelly and grandads "

If they are hunched over their phone........

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Just have a laugh like you would with mates usually by the end of the night you will be balls deep or sore frrom all the laughing so win win

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Fulwood

Just stand next to her at the bar and when you catch her eye just ask her ‘ can i smell your pussy?… might be your feet actually!!’ And then get ready for her to burst out laughing and offer you a shag on the spot!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I feel it's all about context. I'm not going to walk across the room to start talking to someone, but if they're sat on the same table i'd happily start a conversation.

The best approach is just having a conversation.

There are also bar meets more geared towards meeting people, such as those on the Meetup app

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Maybe cause I don’t want sex with them I find it really easy to talk to women, but here’s the homo advice which is good for the hetties in a bar…

Keep it situational. Not movies, music etc. that’s just weird. And random. "

Personally, I disagree. You're approaching a stranger in a bar - it's inherently random.

One of the best approaches I ever had was, 'read any good books lately?' It was weird and cute. And I had.

A x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

What’s so random about strangers striking up a conversation in a bar? It’s like I’m reading a forum post from another planet!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hoco DMan
over a year ago

Clapham


"What’s so random about strangers striking up a conversation in a bar? It’s like I’m reading a forum post from another planet! "
lol That's what I thought, then I remember this is fab, someone will make some nonsensical statement just to be pedantic

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

My last girlfriend i chatted up in a coffee shop it can be done just don't think about it and it will happen

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

No way would I ever approach a woman in a pub or at a bus stop ,or anywhere else these days. Before you know it she will have rang the plod accusing you of being a sexual predetar or stalker . It's a sad reflection of what has happened to society that a man cannot approach a single woman and try to strike up a conversation without it being seen as some sort of sexual offence .

It was never like this 30 years ago in my twenties when I went clubbing. Nowadays I would never try and approach a woman and chat to her.

It's just not worth the risk

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iBeRtInE70Man
over a year ago

around

In the world such as it is with social media and all the various iterations such as WhatsApp snap insta etc human beings have lost the art of communication , instant conversation is just a click away .

Back in the day you went to a bar to meet your mates have a few drinks and see where the night went (all part of the adventure)

Dutch courage helped..

You might meet someone you might not , an organic conversation happens with them you find out you have things in common swap numbers and hopefully it continues the next day (or of lucky later that night)

It requires work and conversation.

These days it's a click and thumbs up and boom guys are like "hey wanna fuck" here's a pic of my dick .

Now you can try that 100 times and you might get lucky . (See copy n paste)

All easy behind a pc or phone .

But try your luck in person with 100 potential partners and see what happens.

I know I'm old ,but I'm a firm believer in not going out with the end in mind .

I've met some amazing people in RL and on fab some I've dkeot with and others not but we've become friends.

FAB isn't FB I know but it's a myriad of different people and thsts why I love it .

As I said earlier the thing missing these days is the art of conversation which then potentially leads to different opportunities.

Step outside your comfort zone , put yourself out there and see what happens

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iBeRtInE70Man
over a year ago

around


"

In the world such as it is with social media and all the various iterations such as WhatsApp snap insta etc human beings have lost the art of communication , instant conversation is just a click away .

Back in the day you went to a bar to meet your mates have a few drinks and see where the night went (all part of the adventure)

Dutch courage helped..

You might meet someone you might not , an organic conversation happens with them you find out you have things in common swap numbers and hopefully it continues the next day (or of lucky later that night)

It requires work and conversation.

These days it's a click and thumbs up and boom guys are like "hey wanna fuck" here's a pic of my dick .

Now you can try that 100 times and you might get lucky . (See copy n paste)

All easy behind a pc or phone .

But try your luck in person with 100 potential partners and see what happens.

I know I'm old ,but I'm a firm believer in not going out with the end in mind .

I've met some amazing people in RL and on fab some I've dkeot with and others not but we've become friends.

FAB isn't FB I know but it's a myriad of different people and thsts why I love it .

As I said earlier the thing missing these days is the art of conversation which then potentially leads to different opportunities.

Step outside your comfort zone , put yourself out there and see what happens "

Sorry not sorry for all my waffle

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone said above, practice opening conversations using situational points.

The same way you'd strike up a conversation with a stranger at a work gig or an event. These skills are not unique to picking up women in bars.

Now the next level is getting them to approach you instead.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No way would I ever approach a woman in a pub or at a bus stop ,or anywhere else these days. Before you know it she will have rang the plod accusing you of being a sexual predetar or stalker . It's a sad reflection of what has happened to society that a man cannot approach a single woman and try to strike up a conversation without it being seen as some sort of sexual offence .

It was never like this 30 years ago in my twenties when I went clubbing. Nowadays I would never try and approach a woman and chat to her.

It's just not worth the risk "

Absolutely, long gone are the days I'd be able to approach a stranger who's a beautiful young woman, telling her that from the moment I laid my eyes on her I knew she came from a wholesome, good family background and the we should get married by the end of the week and plan for both children to be delivered within the 2 years. One of whom is a male who will study engineering at university and carry on our family patriarchy, and the other, a keen seamstress and wholesome family oriented woman just like her mother.

It's a crazy world we live in where this doesn't happen anymore.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No way would I ever approach a woman in a pub or at a bus stop ,or anywhere else these days. Before you know it she will have rang the plod accusing you of being a sexual predetar or stalker . It's a sad reflection of what has happened to society that a man cannot approach a single woman and try to strike up a conversation without it being seen as some sort of sexual offence .

It was never like this 30 years ago in my twenties when I went clubbing. Nowadays I would never try and approach a woman and chat to her.

It's just not worth the risk

Absolutely, long gone are the days I'd be able to approach a stranger who's a beautiful young woman, telling her that from the moment I laid my eyes on her I knew she came from a wholesome, good family background and the we should get married by the end of the week and plan for both children to be delivered within the 2 years. One of whom is a male who will study engineering at university and carry on our family patriarchy, and the other, a keen seamstress and wholesome family oriented woman just like her mother.

It's a crazy world we live in where this doesn't happen anymore."

Thanks for a good laugh. Now I'm going to get up and kick off the day.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The last Man who chatted me up was at a party....Hi....I know Your Cousins

....I ignored him for awhile until he named them..

.sat down for awhile & our conversation lasted years.....28yrs together still & no not inbred our Grandma's were best friends

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No way would I ever approach a woman in a pub or at a bus stop ,or anywhere else these days. Before you know it she will have rang the plod accusing you of being a sexual predetar or stalker . It's a sad reflection of what has happened to society that a man cannot approach a single woman and try to strike up a conversation without it being seen as some sort of sexual offence .

It was never like this 30 years ago in my twenties when I went clubbing. Nowadays I would never try and approach a woman and chat to her.

It's just not worth the risk

Absolutely, long gone are the days I'd be able to approach a stranger who's a beautiful young woman, telling her that from the moment I laid my eyes on her I knew she came from a wholesome, good family background and the we should get married by the end of the week and plan for both children to be delivered within the 2 years. One of whom is a male who will study engineering at university and carry on our family patriarchy, and the other, a keen seamstress and wholesome family oriented woman just like her mother.

It's a crazy world we live in where this doesn't happen anymore."

Crazy indeed

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

First, stop thinking about sex. Secondly, second open mouth and speak about life, music, film, the other guy, what she's wearing etc. "

I was going to say very similar.

The reason men get nervous ( a lot of the time ) is because they have failed to see a woman in a bar as a person.

This isn't a feminist dig, this is pretty much obvious.

A bloke wants female company or a shag and that's the mindset he goes out with.

He is the predator and she is the prey.

The wolf has one chance to not scare the sheep.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"What’s so random about strangers striking up a conversation in a bar? It’s like I’m reading a forum post from another planet! "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hoco DMan
over a year ago

Clapham


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

First, stop thinking about sex. Secondly, second open mouth and speak about life, music, film, the other guy, what she's wearing etc.

I was going to say very similar.

The reason men get nervous ( a lot of the time ) is because they have failed to see a woman in a bar as a person.

This isn't a feminist dig, this is pretty much obvious.

A bloke wants female company or a shag and that's the mindset he goes out with.

He is the predator and she is the prey.

The wolf has one chance to not scare the sheep.

"

I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling.

take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it.

women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12,

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *sername already in useMan
over a year ago

manchester

Has to be up there with one of the most ridiculous threads I’ve seen.

No wonder there’s so many posts crying about not getting meets if so many people are so scared to talk to the opposite sex, Jesus Christ.

Grow a set of fucking balls!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/10/23 13:14:28]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling.

take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it.

women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12,

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online."

Do you even like women or just want to shag them?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hoco DMan
over a year ago

Clapham


"

I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling.

take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it.

women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12,

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online.

Do you even like women or just want to shag them?

"

huh? that actually makes no, get a pen and note pad because it school them time, "men actually want to shag women because then do like them".

Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else


"Also guys, don't mistake friendliness for sexual interest. Smiling and being nice is often a woman's default response. "

SO. MUCH. THIS.

Also applies online.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ond Jimmy BondMan
over a year ago

London

I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling.

take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it.

women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12,

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online.

Do you even like women or just want to shag them?

huh? that actually makes no, get a pen and note pad because it school them time, "men actually want to shag women because then do like them".

Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments"

Your answer is hard to read. Lots of men want to fuck women without liking them. Plenty on here. So it's not nonsense.

Why is it an attack to ask if you like women!? Your original comment reads as though you don't like them very much. And you put the blame for mens' bad behaviour on women. - they send unsolicited dick pics because we say no.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

Always mirror, signal manoeuvre. Except if your a German car owner, obvs.

Dat said, not a chance. Even when I was a lot younger and stupid.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *sername already in useMan
over a year ago

manchester


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move"

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ond Jimmy BondMan
over a year ago

London


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust? "

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"..women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to....

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online.

.

Do you even like women or just want to shag them?

.

..Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments"

.

Dude you sound like you think all women are dumb jealous clubbers, and what you both "guarantee" and have "seen so many times" is just a generalisation that is a) focused entirely on clubbing, and b) just impossible to rely on.

A lot of people are obviously much-more confident online (it hides so much) but why all the extra crap about the nature of woman here?

pt

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hoco DMan
over a year ago

Clapham


"

I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling.

take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it.

women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12,

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online.

Do you even like women or just want to shag them?

huh? that actually makes no, get a pen and note pad because it school them time, "men actually want to shag women because then do like them".

Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments

Your answer is hard to read. Lots of men want to fuck women without liking them. Plenty on here. So it's not nonsense.

Why is it an attack to ask if you like women!? Your original comment reads as though you don't like them very much. And you put the blame for mens' bad behaviour on women. - they send unsolicited dick pics because we say no. "

1) why ask? because you know what you was doing, it was an passive aggressive attack masked as a question.

2) you was the one that described men as Predators now I'm questioning who is the real one with hatred

3) the cockpit statement was to point out the differences that males and females play in the sexual marketplace on this site,

it's funny how you use this to construct your argument but left out the part where I said in brackets it's probably not going to win any dates

4) the only reason why you find my comments hard to read is because you can't nitpick it and find any constructive argument for what I have said and that's what's really burning you to keep replying.

Anyway I can't see we're getting anything constructive from this back and forth so I'm gonna end all communications with you on this topic now, feel free to have the last word if it makes you happy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *sername already in useMan
over a year ago

manchester


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention"

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Has to be up there with one of the most ridiculous threads I’ve seen.

No wonder there’s so many posts crying about not getting meets if so many people are so scared to talk to the opposite sex, Jesus Christ.

Grow a set of fucking balls!! "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling.

take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it.

women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12,

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online.

Do you even like women or just want to shag them?

huh? that actually makes no, get a pen and note pad because it school them time, "men actually want to shag women because then do like them".

Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments

Your answer is hard to read. Lots of men want to fuck women without liking them. Plenty on here. So it's not nonsense.

Why is it an attack to ask if you like women!? Your original comment reads as though you don't like them very much. And you put the blame for mens' bad behaviour on women. - they send unsolicited dick pics because we say no.

1) why ask? because you know what you was doing, it was an passive aggressive attack masked as a question.

2) you was the one that described men as Predators now I'm questioning who is the real one with hatred

3) the cockpit statement was to point out the differences that males and females play in the sexual marketplace on this site,

it's funny how you use this to construct your argument but left out the part where I said in brackets it's probably not going to win any dates

4) the only reason why you find my comments hard to read is because you can't nitpick it and find any constructive argument for what I have said and that's what's really burning you to keep replying.

Anyway I can't see we're getting anything constructive from this back and forth so I'm gonna end all communications with you on this topic now, feel free to have the last word if it makes you happy"

1. It was a question. Interpret it as you like.

2. I did not describe men as predators. That was Granny C.

3. Don't know what a cockpit statement is?

4. I find them hard to read because you've left out words.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet. "

I told a man I wasn’t interested in a bar a few days ago on holiday. He did not take the hint. He pretty much followed me around the bar for 40 mins getting in my face, grabbing my arm and followed me to the bathroom where he tried to barge into my toilet cubicle

Some of the language he used was disgusting and kept saying how ugly he must have been as I didn’t want him

A group of gentlemen approached him and told him to back off before security came and intervened

So you see not all men will stop talking when a woman is not interested

And I’m not saying all men are like this, for me this was an isolated incident but bloody unnerving and scary

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *sername already in useMan
over a year ago

manchester


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet.

I told a man I wasn’t interested in a bar a few days ago on holiday. He did not take the hint. He pretty much followed me around the bar for 40 mins getting in my face, grabbing my arm and followed me to the bathroom where he tried to barge into my toilet cubicle

Some of the language he used was disgusting and kept saying how ugly he must have been as I didn’t want him

A group of gentlemen approached him and told him to back off before security came and intervened

So you see not all men will stop talking when a woman is not interested

And I’m not saying all men are like this, for me this was an isolated incident but bloody unnerving and scary "

I said a man “can” stop talking.

Am I not supposed to approach a woman and talk to her in a bar because a guy was a dick with you in Spain?

Also a group of gentlemen intervened? So…. Good men outnumbered the bad man?

This story is your personal experience and it’s unfortunate that happened to you but that doesn’t account for all men.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet. "

In all honesty that ties in closely with my youth.

"Ee arr talk to Hans he likes the gobby ones"

Not quite how I would phrase it but sign of the times.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet.

I told a man I wasn’t interested in a bar a few days ago on holiday. He did not take the hint. He pretty much followed me around the bar for 40 mins getting in my face, grabbing my arm and followed me to the bathroom where he tried to barge into my toilet cubicle

Some of the language he used was disgusting and kept saying how ugly he must have been as I didn’t want him

A group of gentlemen approached him and told him to back off before security came and intervened

So you see not all men will stop talking when a woman is not interested

And I’m not saying all men are like this, for me this was an isolated incident but bloody unnerving and scary

I said a man “can” stop talking.

Am I not supposed to approach a woman and talk to her in a bar because a guy was a dick with you in Spain?

Also a group of gentlemen intervened? So…. Good men outnumbered the bad man?

This story is your personal experience and it’s unfortunate that happened to you but that doesn’t account for all men. "

And as I said not all men are like that

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hoco DMan
over a year ago

Clapham

[Removed by poster at 26/10/23 15:01:40]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet.

I told a man I wasn’t interested in a bar a few days ago on holiday. He did not take the hint. He pretty much followed me around the bar for 40 mins getting in my face, grabbing my arm and followed me to the bathroom where he tried to barge into my toilet cubicle

Some of the language he used was disgusting and kept saying how ugly he must have been as I didn’t want him

A group of gentlemen approached him and told him to back off before security came and intervened

So you see not all men will stop talking when a woman is not interested

And I’m not saying all men are like this, for me this was an isolated incident but bloody unnerving and scary

I said a man “can” stop talking.

Am I not supposed to approach a woman and talk to her in a bar because a guy was a dick with you in Spain?

Also a group of gentlemen intervened? So…. Good men outnumbered the bad man?

This story is your personal experience and it’s unfortunate that happened to you but that doesn’t account for all men. "

It's a horrible story. And in her place I'd be avoiding men because that's a scary situation to have experienced.

But I do agree with you. It's not all men. A woman can say she's not interested and that should be enough.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ond Jimmy BondMan
over a year ago

London


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet. "

So it’s ok for woman in bars to constantly have men approaching them?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to....

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online.

.

Do you even like women or just want to shag them?

.

..Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments

.

Dude you sound like you think all women are dumb jealous clubbers, and what you both "guarantee" and have "seen so many times" is just a generalisation that is a) focused entirely on clubbing, and b) just impossible to rely on.

A lot of people are obviously much-more confident online (it hides so much) but why all the extra crap about the nature of woman here?

pt the reason why people more comfortable online is because can sit there and lie of create whatever person that they want and put themselves on a pedestal but when face reality face to face it's not so easy to do that and this is the reason why some people are not confident and can't go up to talk to people. "

It's really strange but he was equally challenging yet you didn't get reply aggressively to him. Curious.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *sername already in useMan
over a year ago

manchester


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet.

So it’s ok for woman in bars to constantly have men approaching them? "

Is this happening now as we speak or are you making up a scenario?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet.

So it’s ok for woman in bars to constantly have men approaching them? "

What? That's not what he said? Are you saying men are never allowed to approach women in bars?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ond Jimmy BondMan
over a year ago

London


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet.

So it’s ok for woman in bars to constantly have men approaching them?

What? That's not what he said? Are you saying men are never allowed to approach women in bars? "

I’m not no, just saying that some men out like predators. Not all men

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *sername already in useMan
over a year ago

manchester

[Removed by poster at 26/10/23 15:08:31]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *sername already in useMan
over a year ago

manchester


"I will not approach a woman as such, sometimes conversation will happen at the bar, sometimes eyes contact, a smile etc. I need some kind of green light or a sign before I will make a move

Why??

Because if you say “hello” to a woman, off the internet, then you’ll spontaneously combust?

I think woman can often get a lot of unwanted attention

I think this whole thread is what is wrong with today’s society.

A woman can say she’s not interested and a man can stop talking.

You know, like before the internet.

So it’s ok for woman in bars to constantly have men approaching them?

What? That's not what he said? Are you saying men are never allowed to approach women in bars?

I’m not no, just saying that some men out like predators. Not all men

"

This isn’t a thread about sexual predators though?

It’s about approaching the opposite sex in a bar, to talk, that’s it, it’s not Ted Bundys autobiography.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we live in interesting times now.

I personally have no issues striking up conversation with anybody in a public place. It could be a bar, club, restaurant, train. If they ask to be left alone or are unreceptive I bugger off.

It's exactly the same with a woman. Same process. Not sure what the fuss is about having a conversation with them.

Remember, regardless of your intentions it is always a conversation until you both agree it should evolve.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hoco DMan
over a year ago

Clapham

[Removed by poster at 26/10/23 15:31:42]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

First, stop thinking about sex. Secondly, second open mouth and speak about life, music, film, the other guy, what she's wearing etc.

I was going to say very similar.

The reason men get nervous ( a lot of the time ) is because they have failed to see a woman in a bar as a person.

This isn't a feminist dig, this is pretty much obvious.

A bloke wants female company or a shag and that's the mindset he goes out with.

He is the predator and she is the prey.

The wolf has one chance to not scare the sheep.

I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling.

take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it.

women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12,

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online."

It is good that you disagree and give your own point of view BUT it's a huge pity that you couldn't do it without calling other people's posts 'nonsense' ESPECIALLY as your first paragraph agrees with what I said , just in different words.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is such a sad thread

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amen!! Talking to guys is like pulling teeth. It's sometimes exhausting.

My 4yr old nephew has a better vocabulary than most of the men I've spoken to.

Hot tip guys.... If you're on a date, please stop just talking about yourself I'm sorry to generalise but hundreds of women I've spoken to about dating, all say the same thing. Guys never ask us questions, they don't make the effort to get to know us.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/10/23 17:35:04]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Amen!! Talking to guys is like pulling teeth. It's sometimes exhausting.

My 4yr old nephew has a better vocabulary than most of the men I've spoken to.

Hot tip guys.... If you're on a date, please stop just talking about yourself I'm sorry to generalise but hundreds of women I've spoken to about dating, all say the same thing. Guys never ask us questions, they don't make the effort to get to know us.

"

Hundreds of women? Really? I've not found it to be too much of an issue.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

First, stop thinking about sex. Secondly, second open mouth and speak about life, music, film, the other guy, what she's wearing etc.

I was going to say very similar.

The reason men get nervous ( a lot of the time ) is because they have failed to see a woman in a bar as a person.

This isn't a feminist dig, this is pretty much obvious.

A bloke wants female company or a shag and that's the mindset he goes out with.

He is the predator and she is the prey.

The wolf has one chance to not scare the sheep.

I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling.

take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it.

women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12,

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online."

Now this really is nonsense.

I used to go to Chams regularly on a Sunday when I was in my 20s and there was a BBW night occasionally at that time. I’d go despite being a size 10 at that time and never once did the attention turn to me on arrival. The guys there were either actively looking for BBW or taking each woman as an individual rather than a body size.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"

I'm sorry but I must interject at the nonsense, the reason most men are nervous is because of the fear of been rejected, this is way most prefer chat online as the effects rejection is less harsh, has a women in the sexual market place you will rarely face rejection, as all the attention is brought to your door step, but as man you must get up and knock on the door, when door is shut in your face it not a nice feeling.

take site as an example, the amount of posts you see from women complaining about being sent cock pics, ( which in fairness is not going to win you any dates ) but what women fail to understand is that these men mostly likely started out sending well fought out messages only to have them ignored or deleted without any response, eventually these men started to think what is the point of me writing these messages when you're not even going to look at them so much as lsee respond,well I might as well sent a cock pic, so now when rejected the Impact of rejection is cushioned as it's not taking much of my time and ive got the excusive no response well I'll probably deserved it.

women in the sexual marketplace only tend to feel the effects of rejection when competing with other women for example when you're in a nightclub and that hot girl walks in what all the guys in the club are looking at I guarantee if you're close to women or sitting with them the majority of them will start to slag her off especially if she starts talking to the hot guy that everyone would go to Club you find the same on, here where you find BBW nights that will stipulate a size restriction this is only done so certain women don't feel rejected because if a size 12 walks into a BBW night they are scared that most of the guys are going to be hovering around like zombies around the size 12,

I've seen it so many times on here where people think act like the debiton Queens online but when in the club with direct competition of women they take on a complete different persona that of someone that is not as confident as they are online.

Do you even like women or just want to shag them?

huh? that actually makes no, get a pen and note pad because it school them time, "men actually want to shag women because then do like them".

Deep down you now there's some truth to my statement, hence the direct attack on me, rather than my comments

Your answer is hard to read. Lots of men want to fuck women without liking them. Plenty on here. So it's not nonsense.

Why is it an attack to ask if you like women!? Your original comment reads as though you don't like them very much. And you put the blame for mens' bad behaviour on women. - they send unsolicited dick pics because we say no.

1) why ask? because you know what you was doing, it was an passive aggressive attack masked as a question.

2) you was the one that described men as Predators now I'm questioning who is the real one with hatred

3) the cockpit statement was to point out the differences that males and females play in the sexual marketplace on this site,

it's funny how you use this to construct your argument but left out the part where I said in brackets it's probably not going to win any dates

4) the only reason why you find my comments hard to read is because you can't nitpick it and find any constructive argument for what I have said and that's what's really burning you to keep replying.

Anyway I can't see we're getting anything constructive from this back and forth so I'm gonna end all communications with you on this topic now, feel free to have the last word if it makes you happy

1. It was a question. Interpret it as you like.

2. I did not describe men as predators. That was Granny C.

3. Don't know what a cockpit statement is?

4. I find them hard to read because you've left out words. "

I did. I did . It was me. I said predator....... I didn't say #all men though.......

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"This is such a sad thread "

Why Fluffy , Why?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Amen!! Talking to guys is like pulling teeth. It's sometimes exhausting.

My 4yr old nephew has a better vocabulary than most of the men I've spoken to.

Hot tip guys.... If you're on a date, please stop just talking about yourself I'm sorry to generalise but hundreds of women I've spoken to about dating, all say the same thing. Guys never ask us questions, they don't make the effort to get to know us.

"

Agreed

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is such a sad thread

Why Fluffy , Why?"

Because, cranky grumpet, we’re in the 21st century and there are still men out there who can’t figure out how to talk to women in bars! Mind you, I guess it goes some way to explain why so many on here have the conversational skills of a dead rat and just send dick pics

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

"

confidence and maintain eye contact as much as possible, smile cheekily and if she smiles back it’s a good place to start talking

When you see someone punching above it’s one of two things, loads of confidence or loads of money hahahaha

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Amen!! Talking to guys is like pulling teeth. It's sometimes exhausting.

My 4yr old nephew has a better vocabulary than most of the men I've spoken to.

Hot tip guys.... If you're on a date, please stop just talking about yourself I'm sorry to generalise but hundreds of women I've spoken to about dating, all say the same thing. Guys never ask us questions, they don't make the effort to get to know us.

"

Might wanna pick better guys to date if that’s all your getting

If all you’re getting is trash, maybe the trash is all that wants you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"This is such a sad thread

Why Fluffy , Why?

Because, cranky grumpet, we’re in the 21st century and there are still men out there who can’t figure out how to talk to women in bars! Mind you, I guess it goes some way to explain why so many on here have the conversational skills of a dead rat and just send dick pics "

Song keeps going through my head on this thread......

Gary Numan

In Bar arssssss

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Here in my Bar

I feel safest of all

I can lock all my doors

It's the only way to live

In Bars

Here in my Bar

I can only receive

I can listen to you

It keeps me stable for days

In Bars

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

confidence and maintain eye contact as much as possible, smile cheekily and if she smiles back it’s a good place to start talking

When you see someone punching above it’s one of two things, loads of confidence or loads of money hahahaha

"

This made me lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A mind one time at closing time just getting ready to leave and my pal had pulled i hadnt and spotted a guy at the end of the bar he was lovely made eye contact with each other and kept looking and as i was walking past him i nodded to him to come he did and we got a taxi to mine and the rest well you can guess lol.. met a few times after that night. Ive never done anything like that again lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do we have to make such sweeping generalisations about people? Women and men?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A mind one time at closing time just getting ready to leave and my pal had pulled i hadnt and spotted a guy at the end of the bar he was lovely made eye contact with each other and kept looking and as i was walking past him i nodded to him to come he did and we got a taxi to mine and the rest well you can guess lol.. met a few times after that night. Ive never done anything like that again lol "
Nodded at him, like summoning him you femme fatale you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Amen!! Talking to guys is like pulling teeth. It's sometimes exhausting.

My 4yr old nephew has a better vocabulary than most of the men I've spoken to.

Hot tip guys.... If you're on a date, please stop just talking about yourself I'm sorry to generalise but hundreds of women I've spoken to about dating, all say the same thing. Guys never ask us questions, they don't make the effort to get to know us."

.

When I first started online dating (it was around 2004 I think when I was unable to go out the way I wanted to - so I joined Guardian Soulmates and then Match!) I'd go on dates and expect conversations to ebb and flow naturally. There was one woman who didn't speak at all (just once or twice when I asked her opinion), so I always filled the gaps. Afterwards I felt really uncomfortable about talking too much, but it turned out she was waiting to be asked specific questions. I thought I did, but I didn't quite and I didn't pursue things enough either I just filled the spaces. It just wasn't a great date (likely my worse on reflection!). I don't know how badly she thought of me (it didn't seem to end too badly) I just wish she didn't feel like she had to be asked just to speak. I was really easy going, and back then even a little shy too.

I think I might have felt that over-questioning women was a bit rude and intrusive (even into my 30's) - and I really wanted women just to talk openly when they felt like it. I do ask more questions if I ever date now (I adapt better to a lot of things probably), but I would still rather things were more natural and open. To be honest, when things work between people (especially in relationships, maybe not necessarily just hooking up) it surely needs a natural flow? All my actual relationships have come from natural flow.

pt

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A mind one time at closing time just getting ready to leave and my pal had pulled i hadnt and spotted a guy at the end of the bar he was lovely made eye contact with each other and kept looking and as i was walking past him i nodded to him to come he did and we got a taxi to mine and the rest well you can guess lol.. met a few times after that night. Ive never done anything like that again lol Nodded at him, like summoning him you femme fatale you "

Yeah haha mustve been the vodka giving me courage lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asques and boxersCouple
over a year ago

Ashford and dept16

Crikey this world is going to be a really lonely transicent place. What ever happened to a smile and throw away line to break the ice??

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rownhotnessMan
over a year ago

Cheshire/London/Midlands

Compliment a lady then the balls in their court if they wish to engage. Worst they say is no then at least you know you gave it a go

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire


"Crikey this world is going to be a really lonely transicent place. What ever happened to a smile and throw away line to break the ice?? "
,, they dont have a clue today..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ixed MisterMan
over a year ago

London

Just a random opening line, something funny/goofy/charming/complimentary/completely random. If she reacts in a positive way keep it going, if not carry on with your evening.

Weirdly the completely random ones seem to be better ice breakers.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eorgesdad69Man
over a year ago

nottingham

It’s even harder approaching a guy in a bar , how will he react could be broken nose time

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

"

Take the laugh and come back with something its the only way

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"Compliment a lady then the balls in their court if they wish to engage. Worst they say is no then at least you know you gave it a go"

I think a compliment might immediately make a woman more guarded.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just a random opening line, something funny/goofy/charming/complimentary/completely random. If she reacts in a positive way keep it going, if not carry on with your evening.

Weirdly the completely random ones seem to be better ice breakers. "

I think random is less creepy than an actual compliment.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Compliment a lady then the balls in their court if they wish to engage. Worst they say is no then at least you know you gave it a go

I think a compliment might immediately make a woman more guarded. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Compliment a lady then the balls in their court if they wish to engage. Worst they say is no then at least you know you gave it a go

I think a compliment might immediately make a woman more guarded. "

I agree but it does indicate to me that a man isn't just being friendly so gives me the opportunity to immediately close the conversation if I'm not interested.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Just start chatting a compliment can work eg love that perfume what is it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

A couple weeks ago. Female family friend in her early thirties told me she was going out with female friends for girly night out. I was doing school run for her as her car broken and getting replacement. Now she is divorced and was going out with other females who were either like her divorced, single or married.

This on the Friday . They were going out Friday night.

Saw again on Monday as no car. Asked if had good night on the Friday.

She told me her and friends went home early. This due to a few guys pestering them. Would not leave them to enjoy evening .

As others have said previous. She and her friends had evening ruined . Due to a few males not taking not interested for an answer .

How do females get around this type of situation ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"A couple weeks ago. Female family friend in her early thirties told me she was going out with female friends for girly night out. I was doing school run for her as her car broken and getting replacement. Now she is divorced and was going out with other females who were either like her divorced, single or married.

This on the Friday . They were going out Friday night.

Saw again on Monday as no car. Asked if had good night on the Friday.

She told me her and friends went home early. This due to a few guys pestering them. Would not leave them to enjoy evening .

As others have said previous. She and her friends had evening ruined . Due to a few males not taking not interested for an answer .

How do females get around this type of situation ? "

Nowadays if they were persistent to the point I felt I needed to go home I'd either speak to a bouncer or move to another venue. I'm of the age now when men don't approach me in bars etc but when they did it was extremely rare for them not to accept a 'no'.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *pforfun12Man
over a year ago

Norwich

Nice

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So how would you suggest it's done??

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"So how would you suggest it's done??"

Who are you talking to?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone on the chat

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading


"A couple weeks ago. Female family friend in her early thirties told me she was going out with female friends for girly night out. I was doing school run for her as her car broken and getting replacement. Now she is divorced and was going out with other females who were either like her divorced, single or married.

This on the Friday . They were going out Friday night.

Saw again on Monday as no car. Asked if had good night on the Friday.

She told me her and friends went home early. This due to a few guys pestering them. Would not leave them to enjoy evening .

As others have said previous. She and her friends had evening ruined . Due to a few males not taking not interested for an answer .

How do females get around this type of situation ?

Nowadays if they were persistent to the point I felt I needed to go home I'd either speak to a bouncer or move to another venue. I'm of the age now when men don't approach me in bars etc but when they did it was extremely rare for them not to accept a 'no'. "

I perhaps should have put. Female friend had complained . The persistent males just moved to next seating area. Which was adjacent to where friend sitting with her friends. They did not move to another venue. Their thought was the guys would follow .

Perhaps one off ? . But female friend and her friends had evening ruined by ignorant males .

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel quite sorry for people nowadays. Approaching people in person was the only way we got to meet :old person alert: 'iny day' . Guys would strike up a conversation on public transport, at bus stops, in shops, bars, pubs... literally everywhere. 99.9% of them took a gentle brush off with dignity. They would just say something really mundane like "when's the next bus?" Or "is that a cocktail you're drinking?" and the conversation would either take off or fizzle out. "

I would say the good old days but I still do it now, nothing wrong with it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *reen as JadeCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

I still like when a person actually comes over and chat's with me in a bar.x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's such a turn on as you know they're keen as they've approached but never know how it'll go!

Also get that some guys/gals don't get the picture & won't take no for an answer and that's where social media etc pips it !!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Fulwood

Easiest way to talk to a woman in a bar - pretend for a few minutes that they’re like real humans who are open to having a conversation with you - but you have to make an effort to start with - no woman is going to belittle you for trying to say hello - she may make it obvious that she doesn’t want a long conversation as there will be no eye contact and short non committal responses - if she does engage then ask her about herself - ‘so what do you do? ‘ ‘Married?’ ‘Bank account no, sort code & PIn’ ? Who knows it might just work! - not the pin stuff but you might actually have a conversation and success breeds success your confidence will grow and confidence is attractive - but not over confidence

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just got back a city break abroad and realized even at 29 I'm still terrified of actually approaching a women in a bar.

I guess I've been able to get away with meeting people online for the last few years. I rarely go out out these days.

I just never know what to say. I'm not terrible looking but equally I'm not a male model either, I just assume I'll be laughed away

how do other guys go about it so confidently, or from a women's perspective how do you like guys to approach (if at all lol)

"

Things men say to me that will get a reply at a bar:

I love your shoes/hair/jacket/ any specific item of clothing or jewellery that you *actually* like. A genuine compliment on my style rather than my body is always welcome.

Start there. If she's interested she will chat. If you get stuck for more, one of the best closing lines ever, and I'll give this to you all for free, is "I won't take any more of your time, but could I get your number and flirt with you later?"

You're welcome

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I drive a BMW. Does that impress you?

No? Well perhaps the size of my cock will.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I drive a BMW. Does that impress you?

No? Well perhaps the size of my cock will. "

Funny, I have had guys try this approach, almost verbatim in person

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands


"I drive a BMW. Does that impress you?

No? Well perhaps the size of my cock will. "

Just stick to the speed limit is all I ask

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

Looking gooood

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I've never met a partner online. I appreciate that's probably due to my age and the fact we've been together over 20 years...

However, I happily chat to people in all sorts of places.

As others have said, normal conversation is fine. A non sexual compliment is great.. mentioning my boobs, arse or sex as a conversation starter is not.

Surely it's just common sense?

Nita

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never met a partner online. I appreciate that's probably due to my age and the fact we've been together over 20 years...

However, I happily chat to people in all sorts of places.

As others have said, normal conversation is fine. A non sexual compliment is great.. mentioning my boobs, arse or sex as a conversation starter is not.

Surely it's just common sense?

Nita"

If common sense was common life would be a lot simpler

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"I've never met a partner online. I appreciate that's probably due to my age and the fact we've been together over 20 years...

However, I happily chat to people in all sorts of places.

As others have said, normal conversation is fine. A non sexual compliment is great.. mentioning my boobs, arse or sex as a conversation starter is not.

Surely it's just common sense?

Nita

If common sense was common life would be a lot simpler "

Wouldn't it just

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Last woman I approached at the bar, bought me a drink & we dated for 6yrs that was my ex. Nowadays I’ll be honest ‘i just can’t be bothered’ lol which is great as I’m a rare social drinker. I meet more women at the gym than bars. 1 of the best places to meet actually just ask them to spot you (at a weight you can secretly do by yourself really) lol they will take it as a compliment you asked & trusted them that much

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last woman I approached at the bar, bought me a drink & we dated for 6yrs that was my ex. Nowadays I’ll be honest ‘i just can’t be bothered’ lol which is great as I’m a rare social drinker. I meet more women at the gym than bars. 1 of the best places to meet actually just ask them to spot you (at a weight you can secretly do by yourself really) lol they will take it as a compliment you asked & trusted them that much "

This is cute, I've made plenty of gym friends of all genders. And I agree asking for help is a way better bet than offering advice.

Actually asking for help generally (anywhere public, and safe for her) is a good way to start a conversation. You need to read the cues if she's not interested though.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you


"Last woman I approached at the bar, bought me a drink & we dated for 6yrs that was my ex. Nowadays I’ll be honest ‘i just can’t be bothered’ lol which is great as I’m a rare social drinker. I meet more women at the gym than bars. 1 of the best places to meet actually just ask them to spot you (at a weight you can secretly do by yourself really) lol they will take it as a compliment you asked & trusted them that much

This is cute, I've made plenty of gym friends of all genders. And I agree asking for help is a way better bet than offering advice.

Actually asking for help generally (anywhere public, and safe for her) is a good way to start a conversation. You need to read the cues if she's not interested though. "

Exactly & you spot on, situational awareness is essential when approaching someone

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *use and wolfCouple
over a year ago

angus

i can talk to women, i can tell a woman who is looking sad that she looks amazing but i can't chat women up nor pick up the social qués that tell a guy a woman likes them . It needs to be BLATANT

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh I find it very easy, but I never think of it as anything other than a conversation.

I think women can ‘smell’ when guys are hitting on them no matter how subtle he thinks he is.

Just strike a conversation up…most people are friendly and receptive to idle chatter. Don’t think about sex (already covered), don’t talk to anyone wearing headphones or who are already chatting to someone else and stay away from politics and religion.

Possibly take a look at the communications triangle (google it) about how to open conversations and how to progress them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ostindreamsMan
over a year ago

London

Curious how often it happens these days, given that internet/dating apps seem to be the norm for meeting potential partners now. I don't drink, so rarely go out to pubs. I do go for social events where I have asked someone out, but after we spent a long time together organically.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ostindreamsMan
over a year ago

London

As a side note, this reminds me of the Seinfeld scene. George Costanza walking up to a woman and saying, "Hi, my name is George. I'm unemployed, and I live with my parents."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I'm pretty easy to tell if I'm into him and want to be approached. Else a polite, no thanks approach, is taken for cold callers who can't read body language

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
back to top