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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have a friend that keeps shitting on me I have known her 28 years. Yes we have had sex together on several occasions. She seems hell bent on really pushing me.

She says she does not mean to do it but it only happens when she has a drink. Thinking of telling her to go blow as I don't like nasty d*unk women. I don't want to turn my back on 28 years of friendship but I also don't like the way she has treated me recently.

Its like she wants to make me jealous. All it does is make me see she is d*unk and annoying lol.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

sounds like you got to avoid the drink when your with her. maybe a few meets without drink and honest chat could get her to open up and explain her motives. good luck mate. tell her how she makes you feel and that may resolve things . if she gets the nark thats a chance you gotta take but you was in the position of blowing her out anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she was a true friend she shouldnt treat you like crap, or make you feel bad. Drink can change a persons personnality. Have you tried talking to her about her beaviour and how it makes you feel.

Is the friendship worth the treatment she gives you?

You have had a rocky ride lately my friend and deserve to be treated better.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"sounds like you got to avoid the drink when your with her. maybe a few meets without drink and honest chat could get her to open up and explain her motives. good luck mate. tell her how she makes you feel and that may resolve things . if she gets the nark thats a chance you gotta take but you was in the position of blowing her out anyway"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

When she is sober she is very caring toward me but can't be doing with it any more had to get it off my chest a bit been building up for a while. I'm not into humiliation but she tried that the other day big mistake on her part

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If she was a true friend she shouldnt treat you like crap, or make you feel bad. Drink can change a persons personnality. Have you tried talking to her about her beaviour and how it makes you feel.

Is the friendship worth the treatment she gives you?

You have had a rocky ride lately my friend and deserve to be treated better. "

This is so very true. Problem I have is I don't have many friends in Surrey and I am only really here coz of my lad who needs me

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

I feel your pain Van. I've had experience of this too, and it's pushed me to the edge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think she respects you tell her about her attitude when she is d*unk, if she really does respect you and value your friendship, she should stop drinking in your company as a matter of choice!

Mrs D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think real, true, loyal friends exist in fabland, maybe wake up, if its 28yrs or 28days, either way its not true dedicated friendship.

Its everyone shopping around for the best deal,and if this week your not it, then your not it.

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro


"If you think she respects you tell her about her attitude when she is d*unk, if she really does respect you and value your friendship, she should stop drinking in your company as a matter of choice!

Mrs D "

If d*unks thought logically, then what you say would work. Unfortunately, they don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think real, true, loyal friends exist in fabland, maybe wake up, if its 28yrs or 28days, either way its not true dedicated friendship.

Its everyone shopping around for the best deal,and if this week your not it, then your not it."

seems a bit jaundiced... There are plenty of people who make good friendships that remain even if the sex doesn't. Perhaps it depends more on what type of connection you're looking for..

in the OP case, 28 years of friendship is unlikely to be just about sex...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel your pain Van. I've had experience of this too, and it's pushed me to the edge. "

Pushed who to the edge? Your a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think she respects you tell her about her attitude when she is d*unk, if she really does respect you and value your friendship, she should stop drinking in your company as a matter of choice!

Mrs D

If d*unks thought logically, then what you say would work. Unfortunately, they don't. "

I am saying... mention it when the person is sober not d*unk.

But then again did the OP say she was a d*unk as in a alcoholic. ? I might have read it wrong then she needs medical help and support.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

friend for 28 years hell who needs a friend like that hun =

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro


"I feel your pain Van. I've had experience of this too, and it's pushed me to the edge.

Pushed who to the edge? Your a couple. "

precisely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think she respects you tell her about her attitude when she is d*unk, if she really does respect you and value your friendship, she should stop drinking in your company as a matter of choice!

Mrs D

If d*unks thought logically, then what you say would work. Unfortunately, they don't.

I am saying... mention it when the person is sober not d*unk.

But then again did the OP say she was a d*unk as in a alcoholic. ? I might have read it wrong then she needs medical help and support."

Theres a whole other thread,,, one drink a night or ten,,, still alcoholic type addiction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel your pain Van. I've had experience of this too, and it's pushed me to the edge.

Pushed who to the edge? Your a couple.

precisely"

WE get yer point,,,

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

You have been through a lot of change in your life so maybe some of that may impact how you see her actions, she may be trying a tough love approach.

Sleeping with a friend of 28 years, may have given her or you mixed messages... and not always the best idea.

Speak to her sober, agree the way forward and both take responsibility for fixing it, or move on.

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro


"If you think she respects you tell her about her attitude when she is d*unk, if she really does respect you and value your friendship, she should stop drinking in your company as a matter of choice!

Mrs D

If d*unks thought logically, then what you say would work. Unfortunately, they don't.

I am saying... mention it when the person is sober not d*unk.

But then again did the OP say she was a d*unk as in a alcoholic. ? I might have read it wrong then she needs medical help and support."

You're wasting your time talking to them when they're d*unk, and when they're sober they can't see what the fuss is all about. It's hard trying to break the circle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think she respects you tell her about her attitude when she is d*unk, if she really does respect you and value your friendship, she should stop drinking in your company as a matter of choice!

Mrs D

If d*unks thought logically, then what you say would work. Unfortunately, they don't.

I am saying... mention it when the person is sober not d*unk.

But then again did the OP say she was a d*unk as in a alcoholic. ? I might have read it wrong then she needs medical help and support.

You're wasting your time talking to them when they're d*unk, and when they're sober they can't see what the fuss is all about. It's hard trying to break the circle"

I agree with you on that, the OP never said she drank all the time, so I rightly or wrongly I thought he meant she was a occasional drinker.

All I was trying to saying was, that if she drinks only at say the wkend or even once a week and she always turns nasty or horrible then she does have the choice not to drink.

But she could also be on medication that alters her personality when she has a drink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a friend that keeps shitting on me I have known her 28 years. Yes we have had sex together on several occasions. She seems hell bent on really pushing me.

She says she does not mean to do it but it only happens when she has a drink. Thinking of telling her to go blow as I don't like nasty d*unk women. I don't want to turn my back on 28 years of friendship but I also don't like the way she has treated me recently.

Its like she wants to make me jealous. All it does is make me see she is d*unk and annoying lol. "
Is this your wife Van ? friends you can get away from but if wife i would be worried for you as for a number of years i lived with a nasty d*unk it was my mum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell her you don't want to see her if she is d*unk or been drinking.

As a friend she should understand this and stay away from the drink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

think as a friend you deserve better specially after 28 yrs,agree with a lot that has been said, you have to sit down when your both not drinking and have a talk and be honest with each other as friends for such a long time you can and should be honest with each other.but at the end of the day do you want someone in your life who is and going to make you feel like shit every time they drink.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I really struggle to understand someone hanging around to be humiliated. I left my husband, the father of my children after losing 80% of my sight, unsure whether it'd return or not.

Stressing over a d*unken friend just doesn't make sense to me at all. Then again women that stay in abusive relationships etc perplex me also.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Have decided after reading this and my own head says time to move on. Find new friends and enjoy life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have decided after reading this and my own head says time to move on. Find new friends and enjoy life. "
van just how close ? is this friend ? a wife or person you see now and again .. ?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Have decided after reading this and my own head says time to move on. Find new friends and enjoy life. van just how close ? is this friend ? a wife or person you see now and again .. ? "

Jo he has known her 28 yrs... not his wife but a friend who he has shagged on occasions...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have decided after reading this and my own head says time to move on. Find new friends and enjoy life. van just how close ? is this friend ? a wife or person you see now and again .. ? "

A friend no not wife or girlfriend a friend who we have had a bit of an on off relationship. Friends with benefits was what she called it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have decided after reading this and my own head says time to move on. Find new friends and enjoy life. van just how close ? is this friend ? a wife or person you see now and again .. ?

Jo he has known her 28 yrs... not his wife but a friend who he has shagged on occasions... "
I know ....... but some here call there wife's close friends and shag now and again too , lol Just if a close friend can easy move on even after 28 if not living together , lol

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

[Removed by poster at 23/02/13 09:35:39]

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire


"I really struggle to understand someone hanging around to be humiliated. I left my husband, the father of my children after losing 80% of my sight, unsure whether it'd return or not.

Stressing over a d*unken friend just doesn't make sense to me at all. Then again women that stay in abusive relationships etc perplex me also. "

I used to think that till i started working with them. Women mainly stay in abusive relationships because the perpetrator spends years knocking down their self esteem, telling them that no one else would want them because they are worthless. It's a hard cycle to break unfortunately.

But as to the ops original post I'd say move on hunny. Sell either see sense when she's lost your friendship and if she doesn't then hey you've lost nothing but someone that makes you feel bad!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a friend that keeps shitting on me I have known her 28 years. Yes we have had sex together on several occasions. She seems hell bent on really pushing me.

She says she does not mean to do it but it only happens when she has a drink. Thinking of telling her to go blow as I don't like nasty d*unk women. I don't want to turn my back on 28 years of friendship but I also don't like the way she has treated me recently.

Its like she wants to make me jealous. All it does is make me see she is d*unk and annoying lol. "

You have known your friend for 28 years, do you really want to throw that away? Talk to her and tell her how you feel when she turns nasty, also she may have a few problems and that may be why she is turning to drink!

I wouldn't throw away a 28 year friendship out the window, I would try and find out what was up

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc


"I really struggle to understand someone hanging around to be humiliated. I left my husband, the father of my children after losing 80% of my sight, unsure whether it'd return or not.

Stressing over a d*unken friend just doesn't make sense to me at all. Then again women that stay in abusive relationships etc perplex me also. "

You do come across as a very strong, independant lady (not just down to your user name or Goliath )

But not everyone can be or are that strong. Some find it hard to walk away. As for women who stay in abusive relationships, especially in mentally abusive relationships do not always know its happening til they find the courage/strength to walk away. I know I didn't realise when it was happening to me.

The OP seems to have had a hard time of it lately, and has admitted he doesn't have many friends where he is. Saying all that, Van, you either need to tell her you wont go near her when she's had a drink, and enoughs enough if she treats you like shit. Or just walk away.

Whatever is said only YOU can make that decision.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I have friends that use me, they will not be friends for long, regardless how long the friendship has lasted.

People can and will change as they grow older.

It does not do one any good to be sentimental about anything, people or otherwise.

IMHO.

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