FabSwingers.com forum: I'm off

By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

For a wank.

Its almost bedtime for most.

What is your bedtime ritual? Need to do something before you settle for the night?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I take my cocktail of drugs and fight with pain until I'm exhausted and finally fall asleep. It's all good clean fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say "bloody hell it's late", turn the TV off, brush my teeth and then watch YouTube videos on my phone for about an hour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say RIGHT really loudly and send my dogs outside for wees. Doors locked, lights off, teeth brushed, into bed, lenses out, everything on charge, snuggle

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I say to my dogs “wee wee poops* so they trundle outside and then trundle back in and to bed.

I load the dishwasher and pop it on.

I get the dogs food all sorted ready to go in the morning.

I cheer lead my mum as she goes up the stairs (she has poor mobility)

I turn the lights off. Check the doors.

Have a wee.

Say goodnight to my kids and tell them I love them. Tell them both to get to sleep.

Go to my bedroom and get undressed for bed.

Pretty boring I’m afraid.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Get the TV off or peel the book from my hands. Dog out for a pee if he deigns to leave to cosiness of sofa. Doors locked, lights out, teeth brushed, pee and then get cosy. Extra step of night nurse to try and knock me out tonight!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god i forgot my wee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow!!

Everyone’s sounds like a mission lol!

I wake up from my slumber on the sofa, wipe the drool from my chin, trundle up the stairs and then collapse into my pit!!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail "

Oh sweet Jesus that does not sound pleasnt.

Come snuggle up with me, there's no elephants on my roof.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn everything off.

Go for a wee, brush my teeth, strip off and get into bed and tell Alexa to turn the remaining lights off

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Make sure all the cats are in, get a drink, take my painkillers, plug phone in, ask Alexa to play BBC world service, then get into bed and try to get comfortable.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail

Oh sweet Jesus that does not sound pleasnt.

Come snuggle up with me, there's no elephants on my roof."

It's not every night it rains. Just most. Like tonight.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

" Oh sweet Jesus that does not sound pleasnt.

Come snuggle up with me, there's no elephants on my roof.

It's not every night it rains. Just most. Like tonight.

I love the sound of rain on the roof/windows!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

" Oh sweet Jesus that does not sound pleasnt.

Come snuggle up with me, there's no elephants on my roof.

It's not every night it rains. Just most. Like tonight.

I love the sound of rain on the roof/windows! "

It sounds different when you're not in a house, trust me.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

" Oh sweet Jesus that does not sound pleasnt.

Come snuggle up with me, there's no elephants on my roof.

It's not every night it rains. Just most. Like tonight.

I love the sound of rain on the roof/windows!

It sounds different when you're not in a house, trust me.

I like it in a caravans and cars too. It helps me sleep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Oh sweet Jesus that does not sound pleasnt.

Come snuggle up with me, there's no elephants on my roof.

It's not every night it rains. Just most. Like tonight.

I love the sound of rain on the roof/windows! "

So do I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail

Oh sweet Jesus that does not sound pleasnt.

Come snuggle up with me, there's no elephants on my roof.

It's not every night it rains. Just most. Like tonight.

You can have my whole bed. I'll sleep I the sofa

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail "

I will now fail getting to sleep because all I can think of is tiny tap dancing elephants

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail

Oh sweet Jesus that does not sound pleasnt.

Come snuggle up with me, there's no elephants on my roof.

It's not every night it rains. Just most. Like tonight.

You can have my whole bed. I'll sleep I the sofa

I'd happily spoon....

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail

I will now fail getting to sleep because all I can think of is tiny tap dancing elephants

Just imagine they're pygmy goats in pyjamas.

Dancing to Madonna.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take as many sleeping pills/remedies as possible plus an extra for good luck.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail

I will now fail getting to sleep because all I can think of is tiny tap dancing elephants

Just imagine they're pygmy goats in pyjamas.

Dancing to Madonna.....

Yes!!! Beside the fact I've actually always wanted a pygmy goat - that sounds hilarious. Now which Madonna song .... Like a Virgin??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I scroll through my phone until my eyes physically can’t stay open anymore and then I fall asleep, usually with my phone still in my hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pull the blanket over me and lay down on the sofa.

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail

I will now fail getting to sleep because all I can think of is tiny tap dancing elephants

Just imagine they're pygmy goats in pyjamas.

Dancing to Madonna.....

Yes!!! Beside the fact I've actually always wanted a pygmy goat - that sounds hilarious. Now which Madonna song .... Like a Virgin??

I'm picturing them dancing to Vogue

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail

I will now fail getting to sleep because all I can think of is tiny tap dancing elephants

Just imagine they're pygmy goats in pyjamas.

Dancing to Madonna.....

Yes!!! Beside the fact I've actually always wanted a pygmy goat - that sounds hilarious. Now which Madonna song .... Like a Virgin??

I'm picturing them dancing to Vogue

Good shout!! One of them in pink PJ's and diamonds

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"Find some snacks

Get into my PJ's

Get into bed

Realise its colder than I thought and put on extra layers

Browse the forums/facey/news sites (as I have no TV) for anything interesting whilst eating snacks

Take meds

Try to get to sleep

Fail due to the rain on the roof sounding like a herd of tiny elephants auditioning for strictly

Go back to browsing

Nod off

Wake up at 4am realising I've not set an alarm for tomorrow

Try and go back to sleep

Fail

I will now fail getting to sleep because all I can think of is tiny tap dancing elephants

Just imagine they're pygmy goats in pyjamas.

Dancing to Madonna.....

Yes!!! Beside the fact I've actually always wanted a pygmy goat - that sounds hilarious. Now which Madonna song .... Like a Virgin??

I'm picturing them dancing to Vogue

Good shout!! One of them in pink PJ's and diamonds

Of course, and at least one in sequins

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

Excuse me! Can you lot take my very serious thread serious please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Need a hand, mouth or bumhole?

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"Excuse me! Can you lot take my very serious thread serious please!

Deepest apologies - but now I can't sleep!! Read me a bedtime story?

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"Excuse me! Can you lot take my very serious thread serious please!

Sorry Kai

tbh tho, it is hard to take anything serious when the idea of tiny tap dancing elephants has been put in your head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For a wank.

Its almost bedtime for most.

What is your bedtime ritual? Need to do something before you settle for the night? "

Not in mood tonight been a busy day for me. Wand is near by though

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By *ddie1966Man
over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

Cup of hot Bovril. Shower and shave then hop into bed and read for half an hour...... Or an hour.

If I'm camping and it's raining, I'm usually out like a light as soon as I've snuggled up in my sleeping bag.

Love rainy nights.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Excuse me! Can you lot take my very serious thread serious please!

Sorry Kai

tbh tho, it is hard to take anything serious when the idea of tiny tap dancing elephants has been put in your head."

Ah, but we've moved on to pygmy goats in pyjamas now. The elephants packed their trunks and trundled off to the circus.

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"Excuse me! Can you lot take my very serious thread serious please!

Sorry Kai

tbh tho, it is hard to take anything serious when the idea of tiny tap dancing elephants has been put in your head.

Ah, but we've moved on to pygmy goats in pyjamas now. The elephants packed their trunks and trundled off to the circus.

Well at least this answers the original post, I will be thinking of tiny dancing elephants and pygmy goats in pyjamas before sleep tonight!

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Close window.

Pull curtain’s.

Wipe blood from mouth.

Remove cape.

Climb into coffin.

Pull down lid…

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Coffee piss fall asleep before i get my cock out

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Coffee piss fall asleep before i get my cock out "

You piss before you get your cock out?

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

"Coffee piss fall asleep before i get my cock out

You piss before you get your cock out?

"
i sleep before i get it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/10/23 00:54:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have more than one. When I’m sharing a bed it’s:

Brush teeth

Skincare

Walk to bed and remove dressing gown

Climb under the duvet and moan about how cold it is

Seek a human hot water bottle to cuddle with

Goodnight kisses - sometimes these turn into more than kisses

Roll over and settle into the right position whilst still snuggling with the human hot water bottle

Wait to hear them start snoring which lulls me to sleep.*

*Yes, I’m weird and love the sound of a snorer as it’s rhythmic and puts me to sleep.

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