FabSwingers.com forum: I’ve just seen something on Twitter and thought that’s DEFINITELY a question for the women of Fab …

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Here’s the quote from the Fesshole confessions account:

“My wife likes when I wear my wedding ring because she thinks it minimises attention from other women. The truth is it significantly increases the attention. Don't know if they take it as a signal that I'm less threatening, or just want what they can't have, but I love it”

Interesting response in the replies:

“According to a YouTube expert it means other women subconsciously see you as already successfully vetted by another woman therefore worth checking out”

Whatdya think, Fabsters?

An internet fuck site forum is always a great place to hear the views on marital fidelity isn’t it?

Anyway, don’t shoot the messenger .. but as Mrs Merton might say (gawd bless her soul) “let’s have a heated debate!”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh and let’s hear from the fellas too!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I usually avoid the men wearing wedding rings.

It usually always ends in tears (mine).

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I’m a girls girl who’s against cheating…. I just see it as a man who happens to be married… not something to accomplish haha.

A hot guy is a hot guy and some are available and some aren’t lol

Those fesses always make me think I’m the strange one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is already pretty well known, it’s called preselection and it happens everywhere

If you can show other woman that a woman has already met you, vetted you and deemed you desirable they are going to be more attractive

“What Is Preselection? Preselection is a principle which dictates that women are more attracted to men that seem attractive to other women”

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Personally I see a wedding ring and it's a no go, it's definitely not a turn on for me.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think sometimes in public a woman flirts with a married man (or vice versa) exactly because he is married and it won’t go further. A nice ego boost, a bit of a cheeky laugh but no aim or desire for more.

I would definitely avoid a married guy because it’s bound to lead to tears and drama at some point! Plus swinging for me is all about consent - and his wife is NOT consenting so no.

But yes pre-selection is probably also a thing biologically I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From experience, having a gf or wearing a ring increases the attention I get.

Several reasons might be the case but I'll let others explore that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BTW I’ve been thinking about something similar that happened to me on here recently

I had a meet recently after months without - and the moment I had a new veri posted so many people reached out hoping to meet. Is that preselection too?

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I'm possibly more likely to chat with them in a relaxed manner which had often been deemed as flirting. Really it's just me not feeling like I have to make an effort to seem 'worthy of attention' if that makes sense. I'll just chat as I do anyone else

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By *uicy 2020Woman
over a year ago

London

Absolutely not for me thank you. Unless their wife wants to play too of course

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By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

Surrey

As a married cheating man, i dont wear a wedding ring and havent for years. Not to dupe anyone but because i almost lost my finger in a work related accident, so i dont wear any jewellery.

The Preselection concept is interesting though. Is that why so many men on fab show pics and videos of them having sex with other women ?.

The " she found me hot, and she is hot, so maybe you will" idea.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I think I should maybe stay out of this thread. Feels like a trap …

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By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

Surrey

"I think I should maybe stay out of this thread. Feels like a trap …

I probably should have too !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BTW I’ve been thinking about something similar that happened to me on here recently

I had a meet recently after months without - and the moment I had a new veri posted so many people reached out hoping to meet. Is that preselection too? "

No that’s your verification showing up in the local updates

Generally it’s the opposite for guys. They tend to find women less desirable if they’re taken

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By *ie n MashCouple
over a year ago

Back in Malice

Very interesting subject, which we have just discussed between us.

The female perspective is that women see it as a challenge and a way of proving themselves more attractive than the incumbent woman.

The male perspective, having (unbelievably) been chased by women at work in the past, thinks that there is a competitive streak in some women (normally those that have not had particularly fulfilling emotional relationships) that drives them to have what someone else has to prove a point to themselves.

In our personal experience, women are more likely to go after an attached male than the other way round. Not to say that Pie hasn't been hit on by married men or that all men are angels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would this work the other way round. Id buy my own cheap fake wedding ring if that works.

I currently wear a snake ring on my wedding finger to symbolise how cursed I've been in never making it to the alter, I think a serpent is quite fitting and also a sign not to go there. True story! Welcome to my dark side

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By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

Surrey

"Would this work the other way round. Id buy my own cheap fake wedding ring if that works.

I'm sure you get hit on by both married and single males and plenty of females too

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I currently wear a snake ring on my wedding finger to symbolise how cursed I've been in never making it to the alter, I think a serpent is quite fitting and also a sign not to go there. True story! Welcome to my dark side

Is it wrong to think this is really cute? Erm … asking for a friend. Obviously.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Men & women are now like products on Amazon, you look at the reviews and how many... if you get one random 5 star review it's probably fake, but 50 reviews at an average 4.5 stars it's worth a try.

The ring isn't a factor for us, if they are cheating the person they have been "vetted" by hasn't vetted them for this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh I wear my engagement ring everywhere it doesn’t really stop people

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire

[Removed by poster at 23/10/23 18:08:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snake Rings and tree frogs, I'm sensing a theme here...

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire

I never know when I'm being flirted with anyway, so having the ring on or off makes no difference to me! - Mr.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

according to a youtube expert...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"according to a youtube expert..."

I’ve had a Google, based on comments above on the thread. It does seem to be a thing!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If I see a wedding ring on a bloke, i tend to avoid them.

It doesn't turn me on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had a wedding ring but I do find Women seem to approach more when I'm taken. I would say in a friendly manner, my ex would say drooling and trying to steal me.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

The forbidden fruit. Some people want what they shouldn't have.

Also a lot of married men appear less desperate, which is appealing to women

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

My first question would be, why is he taking his wedding ring off?

I think a gold ring looks very attractive on a man's hand but it doesn't make *him* more attractive to me. I don't mind borrowing a man with his wife's permission though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not appealing.

I can't see why people would even see it as a challenge to be honest but I'm sure there's plenty of them out there!

Miss S x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The forbidden fruit. Some people want what they shouldn't have.

Also a lot of married men appear less desperate, which is appealing to women "

I've never found married men are less desperate. Not in the least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn’t it funny how men are saying ‘women do blah blah’ and the women are actually like ‘no way’

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Isn’t it funny how men are saying ‘women do blah blah’ and the women are actually like ‘no way’

I would hazard a guess that *some* if the men who notice this phenomenon are open to being approached and dare I say it might even encourage it...

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Many years ago I always went for married men and saw them either as a challenge or as suitably unemotionally available and a safe encounter. I'm not that person any more and I believe in karma and have reaped my reward, worry not.

There was a particularly gorgeous guy on the tram this morning, who when I checked had a wedding band on. My thoughts were 'of course someone put a ring on that! with an accompanying huff and eyeroll

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Isn’t it funny how men are saying ‘women do blah blah’ and the women are actually like ‘no way’

It’s kind of like those people that say on Fab they’ll never meet cheaters in a public forum .. but then do

#LoadsDoIt

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