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Gender identity and

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So, I've signed up to this gold site supporter thing thinking the "filter nearby people who match what you're looking for" bit might be useful.

Many times, the list includes those who identify as women. Sometimes that's given in the profile description.

A couple of issues here.

1) does it matter what you identified as in the past? I'm sure there are hundreds of posts on that matter and the answer to that isn't important to me because ...

2) for one reason or another, that question above matters to me. I'd rather be intimate with someone who is a cis-gendered woman. Call that my deficiency if you will.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not coming at this from a bigoted perspective (I hope!) But it...

Got me thinking, there's a category here specifically for that, so should anyone who's transitioned be honest about any aspect of their past especially in the context of a site like this? Should this identity be advertised? Nobody else has to give life context or a past history, so strictly speaking, nobody has to do this and if you're legally a woman, then this shouldn't matter.

And yet, because of my failings above, I feel that there should be a checkbox or something that says more.

Am I wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not wrong to have an opinion but you do seem somewhat contradictory

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I currently identify as a stuffed bear filled with fluff on the sofa... is there a categoey for that?

MrsAbz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the person should be honest if a sex meet is arranged. If it's not stated on their profile they should let them know in messages. Giving time for the person to cancel- not waiting till the last minute for the reveal.

I would want to know. I can understand why they may not want to state it. We can't both be right and have a successful sex meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The idiotic "cis gendered" good grief

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By *allkinkynerdMan
over a year ago

Consett

I don't think there should be a requirement to disclose personal history as such, although honesty in this kind of relationship/dynamic/interaction is important.

Tbh I think in the context of this site, the problem is the limited and frankly outdated options available to people to state their gender identity. You can be a man, a woman, or a generic TV/TS and that's it. In my head at least, TV and TS are different identities. There's no identity available for people like me who aren't any of those things - I selected "man" cause that's what I look like with my kit off, but it's not what I am.

If the options were updated to be more nuanced it would be easier to filter so you get to "people with a uterus" which is, I assume, your preference. And it would be more inclusive and less othering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s no reason not to lie about any physical attributes on here apart from being a good person

You can say you’re hung, tall, athletic, if you want. But it’s not cool turning up to a meet as someone that’s not when you’ve claimed otherwise

Same thing with gender identity.

If you wanna say your a woman go ahead, but don’t be surprised if you get turned away at the door for having a penis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The idiotic "cis gendered" good grief "

What should it be?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

If that’s what you want, then specify it on your profile. Either asking for cis women or AFAB will sort that for you.

I’m not going to get into the rest of it, there’s a lot to unpack and I don’t have the spoons today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The idiotic "cis gendered" good grief

What should it be?"

Woman, women or female.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If that’s what you want, then specify it on your profile. Either asking for cis women or AFAB will sort that for you.

I’m not going to get into the rest of it, there’s a lot to unpack and I don’t have the spoons today"

What is AFAB?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The idiotic "cis gendered" good grief

What should it be?

Woman, women or female.

"

That doesn't cover the issue in the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Incidentally I should apologize for describing it as idiotic, you can use whichever words you choose.

I don't go along with gender I.D. theology , people have a sex, male or female

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By *allkinkynerdMan
over a year ago

Consett


"If that’s what you want, then specify it on your profile. Either asking for cis women or AFAB will sort that for you.

I’m not going to get into the rest of it, there’s a lot to unpack and I don’t have the spoons today

What is AFAB?"

Assigned Female At Birth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If that’s what you want, then specify it on your profile. Either asking for cis women or AFAB will sort that for you.

I’m not going to get into the rest of it, there’s a lot to unpack and I don’t have the spoons today

What is AFAB?

Assigned Female At Birth "

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Personally I think it should be made clear, maybe mentioned in the profile or privately. Some don’t though. I know of at least one person on here where it’s not mentioned anywhere. People can do what they want though I guess. That’s just my thoughts on it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's like treading on eggshells. Ignore the gender identity bit, or the others.

My personal preference is intimacy with someone who is AFAB and is a woman. That seems to be the going definition here.

I don't want to argue about how nonsensical it is for me to place any value to the above. I think personal preferences are valid.

My question therefore becomes, "should there be a filter option for the above so there are no confusions because, it seems, there's a lot of confusion and loaded terminology with regards to the term "female"/"gender"/"cis"/etc

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By *allkinkynerdMan
over a year ago

Consett


"It's like treading on eggshells. Ignore the gender identity bit, or the others.

My personal preference is intimacy with someone who is AFAB and is a woman. That seems to be the going definition here.

I don't want to argue about how nonsensical it is for me to place any value to the above. I think personal preferences are valid.

My question therefore becomes, "should there be a filter option for the above so there are no confusions because, it seems, there's a lot of confusion and loaded terminology with regards to the term "female"/"gender"/"cis"/etc"

There definitely should be a way to self identify and filter the way you describe. It's a bit backward that there isn't honestly

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There definitely should be a way to self identify and filter the way you describe. It's a bit backward that there isn't honestly "

Have a feeling they'd need several megabytes worth of heavy textual web-pages to describe what the checkbox means, and even then you'd get complaints that it's wrong.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The usual line here is that you're allowed to want anything you want to.

Put it on your profile as your preference. It should help people filter you and you filter them.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"So, I've signed up to this gold site supporter thing thinking the "filter nearby people who match what you're looking for" bit might be useful.

Many times, the list includes those who identify as women. Sometimes that's given in the profile description.

A couple of issues here.

1) does it matter what you identified as in the past? I'm sure there are hundreds of posts on that matter and the answer to that isn't important to me because ...

2) for one reason or another, that question above matters to me. I'd rather be intimate with someone who is a cis-gendered woman. Call that my deficiency if you will.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not coming at this from a bigoted perspective (I hope!) But it...

Got me thinking, there's a category here specifically for that, so should anyone who's transitioned be honest about any aspect of their past especially in the context of a site like this? Should this identity be advertised? Nobody else has to give life context or a past history, so strictly speaking, nobody has to do this and if you're legally a woman, then this shouldn't matter.

And yet, because of my failings above, I feel that there should be a checkbox or something that says more.

Am I wrong?"

It does matter. Because you want to be intimate with a female. You like what you like. Shouldn't have to guess at it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It should help people filter you and you filter them."

Did I hit a nerve?

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