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What’s the hardest life lesson you had to learn the hard way?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Never shit where you eat. I had a one night stand with a coworker who worked at a bar with and she started to really like me but at the time I was young and didn’t want a relationship. So after hinting for weeks that I wasn’t interested in that she ended up becoming the manager of the bar I worked at. She made my life a living hell for months.. nothing worse than a women’s scorn I can assure you

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Love is not enough

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Love is not enough "

As in you needed more than love or you never got enough?

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

In love and death, we don't decide.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Love is not enough

As in you needed more than love or you never got enough? "

As in love doesn't make up for base incompatibility. It doesn't matter how much someone's soul sings to you if you can't ever be together without at least one of you compromising too much of themselves to be the person that causes that song any more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In love and death, we don't decide."

Well said

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

You can't help everyone. Some people will destroy themselves no matter what you try.

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon


"Never shit where you eat. I had a one night stand with a coworker who worked at a bar with and she started to really like me but at the time I was young and didn’t want a relationship. So after hinting for weeks that I wasn’t interested in that she ended up becoming the manager of the bar I worked at. She made my life a living hell for months.. nothing worse than a women’s scorn I can assure you "

No, shitting where you eat leads to upset, confusion and Ecoli

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only person you can trust in life, is yourself.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Friendship means different things to different people

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By *ileen doverWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Don't lend money to friends you'll never see or hear from them again

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Love is not enough

As in you needed more than love or you never got enough?

As in love doesn't make up for base incompatibility. It doesn't matter how much someone's soul sings to you if you can't ever be together without at least one of you compromising too much of themselves to be the person that causes that song any more."

That was deep.. with anything in life there is some sacrifice you have to make or compromise in order to achieve anything. With love you sacrifice your time, peace, sleep, finances in order to make it work. If that person wasn’t willing to make the sacrifice then maybe they need to figure out how to love themselves first before loving another. Doesn’t matter how much you pour into someone, like _ede said, you’re only going to pour it into a bottomless pit and end up losing yourself in that pit

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By *anchez821Man
over a year ago

Warwick

Avatar is the worst movie ever, that's 2 hours 41 minutes I'll never get back.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Never shit where you eat. I had a one night stand with a coworker who worked at a bar with and she started to really like me but at the time I was young and didn’t want a relationship. So after hinting for weeks that I wasn’t interested in that she ended up becoming the manager of the bar I worked at. She made my life a living hell for months.. nothing worse than a women’s scorn I can assure you

No, shitting where you eat leads to upset, confusion and Ecoli "

I eat ass so my immune system would destroy Ecoli

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

Sometimes the person you are looking for is already there, right in front of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t trust anyone

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"That was deep.. with anything in life there is some sacrifice you have to make or compromise in order to achieve anything. With love you sacrifice your time, peace, sleep, finances in order to make it work. If that person wasn’t willing to make the sacrifice then maybe they need to figure out how to love themselves first before loving another. Doesn’t matter how much you pour into someone, like _ede said, you’re only going to pour it into a bottomless pit and end up losing yourself in that pit "

Love shouldn't be about sacrifice though surely? It's an active choice to choose something over another, not a sacrifice. If I choose company over sleep, I'm not sacrificing time or sleep for them, I'm enjoying them. If I buy someone a gift I'm not sacrificing my finances, I'm bringing something I think will bring joy to someone I care about.

I think either of us would have given up a lot of things for the other, but wouldn't allow the other to give themself up. Because the person I adored couldn't be with the person I am, and the person they adored couldn't be with the person they are. It is what it is sometimes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Some really interesting answers here I think it paints a picture of your characters and what you had to learn the hard way

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By *KTim61Man
over a year ago

Tipton

Dont Give ££s to people you hardly KNOW !!!

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By *KTim61Man
over a year ago

Tipton


"Don't lend money to friends you'll never see or hear from them again "

Done that & Paid the price !!!!

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Saying no doesn’t make you unkind, lazy, unfair or rude.

Just because you’re asked, doesn’t mean you’re obliged.

Sometimes NO might save your life or your sanity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never shit where you eat. I had a one night stand with a coworker who worked at a bar with and she started to really like me but at the time I was young and didn’t want a relationship. So after hinting for weeks that I wasn’t interested in that she ended up becoming the manager of the bar I worked at. She made my life a living hell for months.. nothing worse than a women’s scorn I can assure you "

Saying is never mix business with pleasure

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That was deep.. with anything in life there is some sacrifice you have to make or compromise in order to achieve anything. With love you sacrifice your time, peace, sleep, finances in order to make it work. If that person wasn’t willing to make the sacrifice then maybe they need to figure out how to love themselves first before loving another. Doesn’t matter how much you pour into someone, like _ede said, you’re only going to pour it into a bottomless pit and end up losing yourself in that pit

Love shouldn't be about sacrifice though surely? It's an active choice to choose something over another, not a sacrifice. If I choose company over sleep, I'm not sacrificing time or sleep for them, I'm enjoying them. If I buy someone a gift I'm not sacrificing my finances, I'm bringing something I think will bring joy to someone I care about.

I think either of us would have given up a lot of things for the other, but wouldn't allow the other to give themself up. Because the person I adored couldn't be with the person I am, and the person they adored couldn't be with the person they are. It is what it is sometimes "

Depends on your thought process behind it. When I meant sacrificing sleep I meant in sense when you argue and going through rough patches etc and in a sense you’re sacrificing that selfishness to become more selfless, because you have to think about the other persons needs as well as your own. Being single is easy being in a committed relationship requires more thought. Hence why I said there has to be some sacrifice at least.

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By *abluesbabyMan
over a year ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

Never say anything to the police.

It was nothing I was involved with directly but rather a neighbour of mine who is also a good friend. He and is business partner were a bit foolish with their taxes and finances and they both got arrested. My neighbour, being a genuine person, simply helped the police with their inquiries and told them everything he had done - holding his hands up, saying he'd been very daft and would never do it again. His slightly more 'streetwise' partner instead said the words "No comment" and absolutely nothing else to each and every question.

My neighbour got a custodial sentence as they - to my mind anyway - excessively threw the proverbial book at him.

It has ruined his life.

His silent business partner (pun intended) walked free with no charges.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Never shit where you eat. I had a one night stand with a coworker who worked at a bar with and she started to really like me but at the time I was young and didn’t want a relationship. So after hinting for weeks that I wasn’t interested in that she ended up becoming the manager of the bar I worked at. She made my life a living hell for months.. nothing worse than a women’s scorn I can assure you

Saying is never mix business with pleasure"

Tamato tomato

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Depends on your thought process behind it. When I meant sacrificing sleep I meant in sense when you argue and going through rough patches etc and in a sense you’re sacrificing that selfishness to become more selfless, because you have to think about the other persons needs as well as your own. Being single is easy being in a committed relationship requires more thought. Hence why I said there has to be some sacrifice at least. "

Being in a committed relationship means your own needs are now irrelevant? Balancing other people's needs is just human nature, prioritising one person so very far above yourself seems detrimental.

Plenty of people would argue that being single isn't easy. Plenty of people in happy relationships would say that being in a relationship isn't harder than being alone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Never say anything to the police.

It was nothing I was involved with directly but rather a neighbour of mine who is also a good friend. He and is business partner were a bit foolish with their taxes and finances and they both got arrested. My neighbour, being a genuine person, simply helped the police with their inquiries and told them everything he had done - holding his hands up, saying he'd been very daft and would never do it again. His slightly more 'streetwise' partner instead said the words "No comment" and absolutely nothing else to each and every question.

My neighbour got a custodial sentence as they - to my mind anyway - excessively threw the proverbial book at him.

It has ruined his life.

His silent business partner (pun intended) walked free with no charges.

"

I’ve heard of stories like that before it doesn’t matter how honest and decent person you are as soon as you admit fault you get a royal shafting. Currently a law student myself and the more I study the more I can see how fucked the system actually is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t be stupid with credit. It takes A LOT longer to pay off than it does to get it.

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By *omsubdevonCouple
over a year ago

Newton Abbot

There is no such thing as an amicable divorce. Don't trust your ex.

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By *heArrowsCouple
over a year ago

I learned being a grown-up is tough. Responsibility is never ending.

I was a grown ass man but not an actual grown up for a long long time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Depends on your thought process behind it. When I meant sacrificing sleep I meant in sense when you argue and going through rough patches etc and in a sense you’re sacrificing that selfishness to become more selfless, because you have to think about the other persons needs as well as your own. Being single is easy being in a committed relationship requires more thought. Hence why I said there has to be some sacrifice at least.

Being in a committed relationship means your own needs are now irrelevant? Balancing other people's needs is just human nature, prioritising one person so very far above yourself seems detrimental.

Plenty of people would argue that being single isn't easy. Plenty of people in happy relationships would say that being in a relationship isn't harder than being alone."

I never said prioritise them at all I only said become more selfless and less selfish and think about the other persons needs as well as your own. Key phrase there ‘as well as your own’

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

There's no such thing as forever... And the things that don't kill you don't make you stronger just harder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Avatar is the worst movie ever, that's 2 hours 41 minutes I'll never get back.

"

Yeah the premise does.not.make sense at all. I'm with you on this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's no such thing as forever... And the things that don't kill you don't make you stronger just harder "

Very much this!

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire


"Love is not enough

As in you needed more than love or you never got enough?

As in love doesn't make up for base incompatibility. It doesn't matter how much someone's soul sings to you if you can't ever be together without at least one of you compromising too much of themselves to be the person that causes that song any more."

Learnt that the hard hard way last year unfortunately.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"I never said prioritise them at all I only said become more selfless and less selfish and think about the other persons needs as well as your own. Key phrase there ‘as well as your own’ "

I just don't see it as sacrifice. But my therapist does tell me I have oddly strict interpretations of terms. Selfless sounds completely lacking in self, rather than just not completely self centric. But again, words are weird, and my odd little brain has odd little processes.

Not so much trying to argue, just explain why my point isn't like your point on it is all

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By *leanor1717Woman
over a year ago

Gillingham

What a narcissist is and how they will never change or probably even realise what they are, that it is possible to leave a controlling relationship and be who you truly are at last.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I never said prioritise them at all I only said become more selfless and less selfish and think about the other persons needs as well as your own. Key phrase there ‘as well as your own’

I just don't see it as sacrifice. But my therapist does tell me I have oddly strict interpretations of terms. Selfless sounds completely lacking in self, rather than just not completely self centric. But again, words are weird, and my odd little brain has odd little processes.

Not so much trying to argue, just explain why my point isn't like your point on it is all "

I know you’re not trying to argue either I am I’m just trying to clarify any misunderstanding. I get it a lot because I take things quite literally sometimes and can be quite pedantic but I completely respect your point, we all look at things from a different perspective to me something could look like a 6 but from your point of view it could be a 9

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"In love and death, we don't decide.

Well said "

Reminds me of.

"The brain may take advice, but not the heart"- Truman Capote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People lie

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In love and death, we don't decide.

Well said

Reminds me of.

"The brain may take advice, but not the heart"- Truman Capote"

Story of my life especially being stubborn

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By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

The hardest lesson I learned was that after being a loyal and faithful husband of 22 years, running a property business together, dealing with challenging situations with our drug dealing and transgendering teenagers and getting through all that and getting to a situation where my ex and I got our life's back and whooped it up at Ocean Beach Club in Ibiza was when COVID arrived and my ex jumped back against a wall if I walked into the same room as her and made me sleep in the spare room!

I left after five days and joined FAB!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So the anxiety of Covid basically diminished the relationship? Shit… sorry to hear that mate

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Real friends are rare.

And you can't find that out without risking getting hurt.

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By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"So the anxiety of Covid basically diminished the relationship? Shit… sorry to hear that mate "
.

It's not too bad!

I made a St. Andrews cross out of two planks of wood and the tow rope from her car and joined Fab!

I've not looked back ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last year, I learned that I need to be more assertive. Got into a bad situation with someone and it messed me up for a while

Now, I'm not afraid to be assertive but still a bit self-conscious about how I do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one is completely on your side..

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By *isterE ManMan
over a year ago

Taunton

Friends are easy to make, trusting them is hard.

Once trust is broken, cant be fixed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Last year, I learned that I need to be more assertive. Got into a bad situation with someone and it messed me up for a while

Now, I'm not afraid to be assertive but still a bit self-conscious about how I do that"

Well done! Sometimes it takes going through a bit of shit to realise what you’re boundaries are. Had the same thing when I was younger I use to attract narcissists a lot because I had poor boundaries, couple backstabbings later I learned to say the most powerful word in in the dictionary.. ‘No’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well done! Sometimes it takes going through a bit of shit to realise what you’re boundaries are. Had the same thing when I was younger I use to attract narcissists a lot because I had poor boundaries, couple backstabbings later I learned to say the most powerful word in in the dictionary.. ‘No’"

Cheers

So true. Boundaries are very important. Not nice how you had to go through that but it really does make you stronger once you work through it

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By *929Man
over a year ago

bedlington

To not forget to empty the piss bucket before driving off in the van…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loving someone isn't always enough x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love is not enough

As in you needed more than love or you never got enough?

As in love doesn't make up for base incompatibility. It doesn't matter how much someone's soul sings to you if you can't ever be together without at least one of you compromising too much of themselves to be the person that causes that song any more."

Yes. It's not giving up if can take no more. Try a relationship, yes. But compatibility is sooooo important. If you don't share the same core values, no matter how much you feel for a person and vice versa, it just leaves the door wide open to a world of hurt and misunderstanding if those core values are not shared.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

That blood isn't thicker than water (metaphorically speaking).

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To not forget to empty the piss bucket before driving off in the van…"

Its the piss bottles that have been fermenting for a week.. those things are worse than a pipe bomb

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That blood isn't thicker than water (metaphorically speaking)."

I can second that!

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

Time doesn't heal, we just learn how to live with the pain.

Boxes break, it will come back to bite you on the arse.

People are arseholes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are not nice and the world will never be a safe place.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"Love is not enough

As in you needed more than love or you never got enough?

As in love doesn't make up for base incompatibility. It doesn't matter how much someone's soul sings to you if you can't ever be together without at least one of you compromising too much of themselves to be the person that causes that song any more.

Yes. It's not giving up if can take no more. Try a relationship, yes. But compatibility is sooooo important. If you don't share the same core values, no matter how much you feel for a person and vice versa, it just leaves the door wide open to a world of hurt and misunderstanding if those core values are not shared."

I think that's spot on. I can have quite diverse views, interests etc with a partner. But there's core values that have to be aligned.

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By *allkinkynerdMan
over a year ago

Consett

The people that complain about the boundaries you set are the reason you need to set them.

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By *929Man
over a year ago

bedlington


"To not forget to empty the piss bucket before driving off in the van…

Its the piss bottles that have been fermenting for a week.. those things are worse than a pipe bomb "

Haha we learned that lesson the hard way when deciding to use an empty sbr tub

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By *ewhere2022xCouple
over a year ago

bromley

Credit reports are fucking serious and not to be messed with

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Even the people close to you can stab you in the back, then blame you when you confront thrm.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Never put all your trust into someone who says that they love you

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

When a stunt-coordinator assures you that the stunt you are about to do has been made safe from all possible injury.

Yeah. And I still have the bloody limp from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't take for granted what you have. I did, and lost the best person/ wife/ friend/ lover, I could ever hope for

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

I spent years and years of my life in education only to find that I was taught a mostly irrelevant load of bollocks and very little about what it actually is to be a human on planet earth and how to be resourced for that.

Also, that nothing is permanent.. Although this can be a good thing too.

Also also.. Suffering is a part of life and some people suffer way way more than anybody ever should.

Also also also.. Love is sometimes not all you need.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Human beings, as a species, are utter cunts to each other. Most will happily ruin their own lives as long as it will make someone else even more unhappy. If there was enough food and "stuff" to go round so that everyone in the world had everything they could ever need, absolutely free, there would always be some that had to take more and deny others, purely so that they could be "better" than the rest.

Human beings in general will rather die than be good to each other and to the world around them.

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

Lurve can seriously damage your wealth, and become unaffordable, but lust is a different commodity all together, and comes well within budgets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No matter how much it feels right, sometimes it just isn’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To learn to let people go. Whether its because of death, circumstances, disagreements etc. Sometimes you just have to let go no matter how much you love them.

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