FabSwingers.com forum: Are we being unreasonable…?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So twice in last two weeks (bar in another town in the early evening and Costa in the day) we have been approached (we were with friends in the bar) and asked if we are Tom and Mel from FAB. I shut the guy down in the bar quickly - he had seen our profile, heard my accent and worked it out from “who is nearby” - I had left app running from the hotel room on my phone. We were alone in Costa and only other people in there, he actually brought his coffee over with him, we were planning a meet at the time so were online for that reason.

Both fellas got a bit of a mouthful off me, Mel was mortified, our friends were baffled and she’s questioning everything about this now.

Am I wrong in saying no one should ever approach someone but should do it via the app? Both had sent winks but then waited less than 5 minutes before nearly “outing us” and also interrupting our personal time and space (our “real lives” effectively) or does being on here entitle people to act this way….?

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Inappropriate for sure.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Absolutely not unreasonable. I’d blank them and be livid.

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

You aren't being unreasonable at all. Dreadful behaviour on their part.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Not unreasonable. They're being really weird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has happened to me several times. It’s at best unnerving, at worst entirely inappropriate.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"This has happened to me several times. It’s at best unnerving, at worst entirely inappropriate. "

I've never been approached face to face, but I have had people try to work out where I am and send persistent messages begging me to come meet them at whatever place.

It's why my who's near is never on now.

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

I amabsolutely flabberghasted that there are people who are incapable of being discrete and respecting boundaries. You weren'tbeing unreasonable at all OP. They crossed a line.

I think if I were in your position, I'd be telling them that any chances they may have had are well and truly out of the window.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

It doesn't get much more inappropriate than that!

Honestly... I'm not sure what goes through their tiny little minds to think it's ok!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually I'm contacted on here from people who recognise me on the streets and every time there is the expectation that I'm going to fuck them. Even though the do not match what I'm looking for.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Got to love those boundaries

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I'd be furious is I was approached in a vanilla setting.

We've had the odd inbox when people are close trying to figure out where we live which is annoying enough, but outside of fab I'd be telling them to fuck right off.

Mrs

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

Very weird. Did you have face pics on or not? It's an accepted risk someone might recognise you, but I'd never have thought someone would approach you, especially when you're with others!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m surprised that people are surprised……

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have every right to be pissed off mate I would block them on here as well! Completely inappropriate. Do people not think how that might make them feel in a public space?

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
over a year ago

Beverley

Absolutely ridiculous. I don't know what goes on with people, sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is absolutely out of order. It makes me angry reading it.

Who are the people that think that kind of behaviour is acceptable? It’s totally weird. When you mentioned that one of them brought their drink over it made my skin crawl. That’s some extremely creepy behaviour

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

"It doesn't get much more inappropriate than that!

Honestly... I'm not sure what goes through their tiny little minds to think it's ok!"

Don't think they were thinking with their actual minds, but rather with their dicks

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By *uffolkcouple-bi onlyCouple
over a year ago

West Suffolk/Essex

"This is absolutely out of order. It makes me angry reading it.

This….. 100%. Nuf said!

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By *heoneandonlyEJCouple
over a year ago

Rotherham

What on earth were they thinking? Hardly going to improve their chances with you is it? You are definitely not being unreasonable. Hope Mel isn’t too disheartened, there’s a lot of lovely people on here who hopefully make up for utter twats like that.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"So twice in last two weeks (bar in another town in the early evening and Costa in the day) we have been approached (we were with friends in the bar) and asked if we are Tom and Mel from FAB. I shut the guy down in the bar quickly - he had seen our profile, heard my accent and worked it out from “who is nearby” - I had left app running from the hotel room on my phone. We were alone in Costa and only other people in there, he actually brought his coffee over with him, we were planning a meet at the time so were online for that reason.

Both fellas got a bit of a mouthful off me, Mel was mortified, our friends were baffled and she’s questioning everything about this now.

Not at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely inappropriate on both their parts. You shouldn't have to feel like you're looking over you shoulder all the time wondering who will approach you next. Definitely not an overeaction on your part OP!!

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By *ifty69Man
over a year ago

north tyneside

Sound like a pair of pricks tbh. I'd never do that, it's totally out of order, should have biffed them lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks so much - to answer some of the points:

1. Both got told to fuck off immediately

2. Didn’t even ask for their names so can’t block them

3. We don’t have face pics for this very reason which is also why we don’t go to local clubs.

As with most on here discretion is a must for us. It took Mel a while to get used to the idea of an alternative way to have fun and I’m looking down the barrel of our last meet actually being our last meet. We do and have played separately as well as together and Mel said she’s cool if I continue to do so but for me that’s not what this adventure is about. Even playing separately we are playing together in a weird way, me on my own ruins the dynamic totally.

Wankers.

Thanks for the nice words, good to know we are not cranks.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Both fellas got a bit of a mouthful off me, Mel was mortified, our friends were baffled and she’s questioning everything about this now.

Nah totally reasonable, you really should have responded to their lazy winks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely inappropriate and very creepy. I think it should always stay online first until you clearly agree to take it offline. They crossed some very serious boundaries and intruded upon your privacy/personal lives

Completely understandable that this has upset you. Some people are just awful at respecting boundaries

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

Both fellas got a bit of a mouthful off me, Mel was mortified, our friends were baffled and she’s questioning everything about this now.

Myself and my wife are both faces out here, and we have had some level of interaction because of it but it’s definitely not cool to to approach someone in that manner. Unfortunately I think some people don’t understand that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sound like a pair of pricks tbh. I'd never do that, it's totally out of order, should have biffed them lol."

The first guy came really close to be honest. Had to then explain to my friends why I took someone aside in a nice bar and my mate heard me say “seriously mate, fuck off right now or you are getting knocked out”. Had to wait until Mel was close to hear my bullshit story so we both knew the same lie!!! I must’ve said “just give me a minute lads please” about 6/7 times whilst I waited for Mel to finish her conversation with the wives to have her in earshot lol

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By *randMrsLPCouple
over a year ago

london

"both got mouthfull" - not the way to deal with it as it could have kicked off and I'm surpsied two guys took that.

Best way to avoid, turn off apps, never post/share face pics if you don't want to take the risl of them posted all over - Not sayig you did

just say 'no its not me' and when in a better position, tell them polity that they should have not put you in an akward spot

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""both got mouthfull" - not the way to deal with it as it could have kicked off and I'm surpsied two guys took that.

Best way to avoid, turn off apps, never post/share face pics if you don't want to take the risl of them posted all over - Not sayig you did

just say 'no its not me' and when in a better position, tell them polity that they should have not put you in an akward spot"

All well and good saying that but when you are asked in public places and with friends in a totally vanilla environment it’s not the easiest judgement call to make. Telling someone to switch off the apps is effectively apportioning some blame onto me because a pair of arseholes acted like arseholes.

One guy didn’t really take it well and you will see from my response above it got a little heated. The other just took his coffee and left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""both got mouthfull" - not the way to deal with it as it could have kicked off and I'm surpsied two guys took that.

Best way to avoid, turn off apps, never post/share face pics if you don't want to take the risl of them posted all over - Not sayig you did

just say 'no its not me' and when in a better position, tell them polity that they should have not put you in an akward spot"

Nah I disagree. You can’t live in fear of others. People need to learn that there’s a consequence to their actions and that their behaviour is unacceptable.

If we just act timid because 0.1% of people might kick off, it just emboldens people to continue behaving badly without consequence.

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

""both got mouthfull" - not the way to deal with it as it could have kicked off and I'm surpsied two guys took that.

Best way to avoid, turn off apps, never post/share face pics if you don't want to take the risl of them posted all over - Not sayig you did

just say 'no its not me' and when in a better position, tell them polity that they should have not put you in an akward spot

One guy didn’t really take it well and you will see from my response above it got a little heated. The other just took his coffee and left. "

You did nothing wrong OP, if they had any common sense they could have msged you on fab and asked if it was you and if it was ok to approach, I would have been far from polite if I was approached in this way.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

That's not on op

I'm not surprised you were annoyed

If they wanted to say hi, they could have sent you a message on fab.

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By *hunky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I've seen a mum and dad at work whispering and looking at me.

With that look and saying it to each other: "It's him, is it?"

They didn't approach me probably because of my celebrity status at work. In that situation I personally wouldn't mind. Still not shouting it out loud.

When I'm out playing with my son in the park would be a different matter.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's entirely reasonable to expect that if you're on a site that you MAY entertain contact via the site. It's unreasonable to expect to contact people outside of the site, unless club owners etc state that they welcome contact.

There are some people who appear socially inept and bankrupt of respect for others and their privacy.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

I'm surprised anyone is surprised by this type of behaviour, and it isn't only 'single' males that carry on in such a manner..

Weird and creepy isn't the sole ownership of any dynamic, thankfully it's very much a minority..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah I disagree. You can’t live in fear of others. People need to learn that there’s a consequence to their actions and that their behaviour is unacceptable.

If we just act timid because 0.1% of people might kick off, it just emboldens people to continue behaving badly without consequence."

Basically this. It's literally a form of stalking to try to figure out where someone is based on their online presence and approach them in person without their consent

OP felt threatened by that, and the response was completely understandable as they were caught completely off guard by it

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Are they you're real names? That's one reason I don't have my actual name on here and don't tell anyone until we've met. At least it would look like they've got you confused with someone else if you're with other people.

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

I had this guy message and say ''I enjoyed meeting you on Saturday''

I met no one..Turned out he had served Me in a shop.He even told Me what I looked like, and what clothing I was wearing.

How the hell did he recognise Me !!!

Creepy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both fellas got a bit of a mouthful off me, Mel was mortified, our friends were baffled and she’s questioning everything about this now.

Totally out of order , that sort of behaviour has no place on fab

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

I'm surprised anyone is surprised by this type of behaviour, and it isn't only 'single' males that carry on in such a manner..

Weird and creepy isn't the sole ownership of any dynamic, thankfully it's very much a minority..

Ps, the more information out there the easier it is for such to occur..

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Have been approached in my place of work in past! Although a bit weird was not udully worried by it! As do have my up to date face pics here! But can see why some might find this unacceptable! X

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I don’t think anyone should be approached in public. You don’t know who they are with or what their circumstances are. Keep fab to the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I felt this was ridiculous.

They should have messaged or winked at most!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are they you're real names? That's one reason I don't have my actual name on here and don't tell anyone until we've met. At least it would look like they've got you confused with someone else if you're with other people."

No (at least Mels isn’t) - which was why I was able to give my friends the brush off luckily.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had this guy message and say ''I enjoyed meeting you on Saturday''

I met no one..Turned out he had served Me in a shop.He even told Me what I looked like, and what clothing I was wearing.

How the hell did he recognise Me !!!

Creepy."

That’s not great to say the least. Proper creepy.

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By *randMrsLPCouple
over a year ago

london

If anyhting, this thread just proves that the way we keep our profile and what we share is good. The less info you give the better if you dont want to be picked on like this

We are even relucatant to meet people at our place or show them our car as its a a massive Range Rover with memorable plate on it, so we park this around the corner

Nor do we ever share our main mobile number with anyone or the exact makeup of our family etc

You just cant be too careful

Years ago we were niaive as a lot younger as we were cuks in our 20's up until late 30's and did invite men to our place - surprised we did not get caught out.

We the advent of smart phones etc, we wotn watss app etc as calls can be recorded

always think about the info you share, can it link to in real life is the question

Havig stated the above, if i recognised anyone, the closest i's come talkig to them if they interested me was via this site intially

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The creepy thing for me is that in our friend group (approximate stats)

Couple 1 - him 6’5” her 5’7” both 40’s

Couple 2 - him 5’10 her 5’5” both 40’s she’s a size 14/16 so curvy I guess on the site (sorry if I’m off with that) but the photo of Mels bum is obviously not her

Couple 3 - him 6’ (mixed race) her 5’2” and both mid 30’s and both from Bristol so no way the accent thing was them.

He’d worked out from hearing us speak and then what limited accessible photos we have and our description who we were before being a dick.

The more I think about it and read the comments the more pissed off I’m getting!!

I’m going to stop banging on now. Thanks so much for all your comments and to those that have messaged off the forum. Means a lot.

It’s happened just this twice in the year or so we’ve been on here, just so happens it was in a relatively short space of time.

We don’t think all single guys are bellends. Just these two particular single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s pretty awful form at the best of times, but in front of friends you were with? Mind blown!

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By *utterfly64Woman
over a year ago

Raynes Park

Shocking. I would hate to be recognised and very definitely would not want to be approached. A simple “think I saw you in Costas earlier?” Would be better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh, they're lucky. If they had done that with someone else they may have ended up on the floor missing a few teeth at best.

But, yeah HIGHLY inappropriate and downright rude / selfish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah I disagree. You can’t live in fear of others. People need to learn that there’s a consequence to their actions and that their behaviour is unacceptable.

If we just act timid because 0.1% of people might kick off, it just emboldens people to continue behaving badly without consequence.

Basically this. It's literally a form of stalking to try to figure out where someone is based on their online presence and approach them in person without their consent

OP felt threatened by that, and the response was completely understandable as they were caught completely off guard by it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen a couple of people out in public that I recognise from here, I didn't say anything and walked on by.

I understand that there are some weirdos that would recognise you and say things out in public. That's what I don't have obvious pictures of me on my public photos...

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

Both fellas got a bit of a mouthful off me, Mel was mortified, our friends were baffled and she’s questioning everything about this now.

I would be livid. Only once we had this and Mr pulled the person one side and lost it with him. Why the fuck don't people realise most people don't live this lifestyle 24/7

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

It's definitely not on OP. I have had someone message saying they'd seen me in the village I live. Don't know if I was with my kids or what, so it totally unnerved me, so changed post code etc. I don't have whose near on ever, it scares me too much in all honesty.

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Defo not unreasonable. Respecting boundaries is important.

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By *ambertMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

They are lucky you didn't smack them if I'm honest.

In a non kinky way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear this happened to you - totally out of line! What happens on Fab should stay on Fab unless mutually agreed in advance.

I’ve had 2 people from my small town recognise me in the street and message me after saying they nearly stopped me to chat - I made it very clear I’d not have welcomed that and I blocked them!

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By *rincess-PeachWoman
over a year ago

irrelevant

Absolutely ridiculous and in no way is any blame on you. Even if you were more blasé like face pics it still doesn't give people the right to approach.

Super super creepy , listening to accents wtaf I hope these 2 bell ends are reading this thread.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well as I said Mel is taking a break FAB appears to have changed my profile to “man”. Great stuff. I guess it saves me a job!

Need to change the name now I guess too!

Oh well.

Thanks to those dickheads (and maybe me moaning) or someone flagging this it looks like the adventure is over.

Might see some of you in the clubs.

Take care and thanks for the comments. Mel and I appreciated the kind words.

Absolute joke. Two people act like knobheads and we seem to get punished. Can’t now speak to anyone that doesn’t want to hear from guys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/10/23 16:41:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well as I said Mel is taking a break FAB appears to have changed my profile to “man”. Great stuff. I guess it saves me a job!

Need to change the name now I guess too!

Oh well.

Thanks to those dickheads (and maybe me moaning) or someone flagging this it looks like the adventure is over.

Might see some of you in the clubs.

Take care and thanks for the comments. Mel and I appreciated the kind words.

Absolute joke. Two people act like knobheads and we seem to get punished. Can’t now speak to anyone that doesn’t want to hear from guys. "

Appeal my friend. It’s clearly still a couples account, so hopefully it will be reinstated. I’m sure Mel will be able to verify to admin she is still part of the profile .. good luck hope it works out

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
over a year ago

Stoke

Happened to us quite a few times but only at Swinging clubs. If it happened in public we'd just ask 'what's Fab'? And shut them straight down.

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By *heoneandonlyEJCouple
over a year ago

Rotherham

"Well as I said Mel is taking a break FAB appears to have changed my profile to “man”. Great stuff. I guess it saves me a job!

Need to change the name now I guess too!

Oh well.

Thanks to those dickheads (and maybe me moaning) or someone flagging this it looks like the adventure is over.

Might see some of you in the clubs.

Take care and thanks for the comments. Mel and I appreciated the kind words.

Absolute joke. Two people act like knobheads and we seem to get punished. Can’t now speak to anyone that doesn’t want to hear from guys.

This. Don’t let those idiots ruin everything for you.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

How on earth did they recognise you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well as I said Mel is taking a break FAB appears to have changed my profile to “man”. Great stuff. I guess it saves me a job!

Need to change the name now I guess too!

Oh well.

Thanks to those dickheads (and maybe me moaning) or someone flagging this it looks like the adventure is over.

Might see some of you in the clubs.

Take care and thanks for the comments. Mel and I appreciated the kind words.

Absolute joke. Two people act like knobheads and we seem to get punished. Can’t now speak to anyone that doesn’t want to hear from guys. "

Why not message admin, photo verify your account as a couple then hopefully they'll change it back to a couples profile.

Failing that, open a new couples profile and ensure you photo verify it.

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

Some people just don't have any common sense, thinking with their cock's

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Horrendous behaviour on their part.

Mr DD

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

It smells iffy to me. The story I mean , not the behaviour.

Were you wearing name badges ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This has happened to me several times. It’s at best unnerving, at worst entirely inappropriate.

I've never been approached face to face, but I have had people try to work out where I am and send persistent messages begging me to come meet them at whatever place.

It's why my who's near is never on now. "

Stopped at your message and just turned mine off too.

Totally out of line.

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Met a couple in walking group who I'd played with in club, neither of us mentioned it, just chatted normally. What's happens in fab, stays in fab

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By *enSiskoMan
over a year ago

Cestus 3

No it wasn't right to approach you and sorry to hear about the outcome for you.

But I suppose it is one of the pitfalls of being on FAB.

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By *ercury oneMan
over a year ago

Chippenham

I've seen various people out and about that are on fab and live close to me but would never dream of actually saying anything to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both fellas got a bit of a mouthful off me, Mel was mortified, our friends were baffled and she’s questioning everything about this now.

This is unreasonable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I the only one who's never heard of the 'who's near' facility?

Something like the Tinder thing that tells you when someone's in the same room as you?

In these guys' defence - finding yourself in the same shop as other Fabbers would be tempting - but they would have to be very discreet about an approach at the very least!

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By *ongandharderMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

Yeah Somone walked up to me in public and said hey your such and such from fab

I'd say that you must be mistaken and can you leave me alone

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Tbh, they're lucky. If they had done that with someone else they may have ended up on the floor missing a few teeth at best.

Seriously? Being approached in public is not in anyway a reasonable excuse to hitting someone.

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By *eacupsbearCouple
over a year ago

York

If anything, they could have sent a message. Something like "hi. Hope you don't mind the message, but we've just seen you in Costa. We don't want to intrude. But would love to chat if you're happy to"

Then left it at that.

If you see the message straight away you have the chance to say no, or yes without being bothered.

But if you don't, then maybe later when you do, you can respond perhaps. Even if it's to say no or to arrange another Costa meet with them.

To be actually approached is inappropriate. They have no idea, or seemingly don't care who you might be with..

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

"Am I the only one who's never heard of the 'who's near' facility?

Something like the Tinder thing that tells you when someone's in the same room as you?

In these guys' defence - finding yourself in the same shop as other Fabbers would be tempting - but they would have to be very discreet about an approach at the very least!"

They’re not kids at Christmas. They’re adults who should be capable of impulse control.

There’s no justification for intruding on someone’s privacy like that.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Am I the only one who's never heard of the 'who's near' facility?

Something like the Tinder thing that tells you when someone's in the same room as you?

In these guys' defence - finding yourself in the same shop as other Fabbers would be tempting - but they would have to be very discreet about an approach at the very least!"

Bollocks what a load of bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I the only one who's never heard of the 'who's near' facility?

Something like the Tinder thing that tells you when someone's in the same room as you?

In these guys' defence - finding yourself in the same shop as other Fabbers would be tempting - but they would have to be very discreet about an approach at the very least!"

Sweet baby Jesus, seriously?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If anything, they could have sent a message. Something like "hi. Hope you don't mind the message, but we've just seen you in Costa. We don't want to intrude. But would love to chat if you're happy to"

Then left it at that.

If you see the message straight away you have the chance to say no, or yes without being bothered.

"
This is perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely not- this whole thing is based on discretion.

That sort of behaviour is not on- who knows what company they could have been in and the consequences of people finding out when that may be something they don’t want certain people to know.

Just can’t go around doing that

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

Both fellas got a bit of a mouthful off me, Mel was mortified, our friends were baffled and she’s questioning everything about this now.

Absolutely you’re correct, this is awful when people do it, and it’s happened to me (though thankfully not in person on the spot)… the worst offender was when someone who worked in a garage I used to bring my car to wrote that he recognised me from his job! I can’t fathom anyone thinking this is acceptable behaviour. Good on you for telling them off.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"Happened to us quite a few times but only at Swinging clubs. If it happened in public we'd just ask 'what's Fab'? And shut them straight down. "

I like this approach. Hopefully it’s never needed but if so, it’s a classy way to deal with this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Happened to us quite a few times but only at Swinging clubs. If it happened in public we'd just ask 'what's Fab'? And shut them straight down.

I'd be worried that they would then go into some detail explaining about Fab and then go on to describe what it was about your profile (pictures/interests...) that they liked.

I have once run in to a Fab friend in a Tesco car park and we were both startled and then dashed past each other with no acknowledgement at all.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"Happened to us quite a few times but only at Swinging clubs. If it happened in public we'd just ask 'what's Fab'? And shut them straight down.

I'd be worried that they would then go into some detail explaining about Fab and then go on to describe what it was about your profile (pictures/interests...) that they liked.

I have once run in to a Fab friend in a Tesco car park and we were both startled and then dashed past each other with no acknowledgement at all."

And if they did that I’d stare at them like they’re from another planet and walk away.

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Nahh, you're entirely justified in your reaction. It's inappropriate.

We've had it too, I always laugh it off and follow up by saying "no you've got the wrong people, I do porn, you probably recognise me from (insert random and maybe icky porn genre)"... they get flustered at that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I the only one who's never heard of the 'who's near' facility?

Something like the Tinder thing that tells you when someone's in the same room as you?

In these guys' defence - finding yourself in the same shop as other Fabbers would be tempting - but they would have to be very discreet about an approach at the very least!"

What!? No. Just because you’re in close proximity doesn’t give you permission to approach someone, not matter how you do it.

It’s probably good that you don’t know about the nearby functionality.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

Both fellas got a bit of a mouthful off me, Mel was mortified, our friends were baffled and she’s questioning everything about this now.

I'm not sure of the function of the near by as I never use it. Do people use it like a secret come find me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nahh, you're entirely justified in your reaction. It's inappropriate.

Excellent

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By *andy manMan
over a year ago

Nearby

"It smells iffy to me. The story I mean , not the behaviour.

Were you wearing name badges ?"

The OP said he didn’t have their details to block them, yet he said in his initial post that they’d both winked him before they approached? Sounds legit…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both fellas got a bit of a mouthful off me, Mel was mortified, our friends were baffled and she’s questioning everything about this now.

I'm not sure of the function of the near by as I never use it. Do people use it like a secret come find me?"

No.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So for the doubters I’m sorry that your default setting is to question someone’s integrity rather than the inappropriate behaviour of others.

That’s on you.

But in order to answer your questions if you read the thread it’s quite apparent how they surmised who we were. He told us. The guy in Costa just got told to go away the second he used Mels name because no one would know it unless you are on FAB.

As for the winks 1. We just bulk delete winks generally and 2. do you have any idea how many winks a couple that are online in a busy city centre on a Saturday will get?

Believe us or not I do not care. This started with us questioning if we are being a tad precious. This thread actually mirrors the behaviours and attitude of FAB. 95% decent folk and 5% of people who are probably just not that nice generally.

We are over it.

FAB adventure is over, probably, as I understand it due to some faceless knob hiding behind a keyboard. But we will continue to enjoy our adventures in the clubs and away from what can be a pretty toxic site due to the odd prick.

I want to leave this on a positive note so - Thanks to the good souls x x

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