FabSwingers.com forum: How do you end things

By *eeliciouschaos OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

when they kind of organically fizzle out on here? No hard feelings involved, just a mutual lost of interest?

Are you “Let’s stay friends“ or rather “Cancel - clear - delete” kind of person?

Or maybe something in between?

It would be interesting to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure I ever really do.

Sometimes I'm guilty for just backing away quietly because I feel they have lost interest (though it sometimes doesn't take much to make me think that)

Sometimes it's just some unspoken thing that seems to mutually just happen.

I'm actively trying to be better at these things.

I'm very aware that I never want to hurt someone's feelings as I know how horrible that can be.

I guess much depends on the relationship. Things are happening in my life at the moment which means the nature of some of my "friendships" will change but I do hope that we can actually remain friends because I'd miss them in my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on how close we were, if it was a short span I usually just tend to fizzle out however if it was long term I’d say they deserve a message or heads up out of respect.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I ensure they are clear on what I want and I make sure it's freiendly and that I don't do anything to cause them harm or ill feeling. ( but also it's to limit damage to me

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's be friends is not letting go. And if I'm still chatting to her that's time wasted where I could be looking for somebody else.

It's a swinging site after all so it's good to have several connections. When the shelf live expires on one of them you're not then starting from scratch.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Let’s stay friends, Dee.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Let’s stay friends, Dee."

(Also, friends can have sex, right?)

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I usually just upset them to the point they don't want to hear from me

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

i just tell them i no longer interested in meeting anymore as its run its course .

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Depends entirely on the situation between us, and my emotional and mental state at the time really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘I’m just not happy in this anymore. But wish you all the best in future relationships babe’ x

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'm probably a let it go person ,once I feel it's run it's course.

I have recently had someone I met years ago when single message me

I won't pick that back up again now as it's been way too long at over 8 years.

I think people change , situations change and things are often best left in the past .

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Dynamite and splode it !!!! BOOM

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By *ambertMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I will let you know if it happens haha

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I've never experienced that. Is that weird? Possibly. I normally say I don't think things are working out/that spark isn't quite there, let's be friends. That's not a line.

I have friendships with people that I've had sex with that I value and don't want to lose that. It's normally not taken very well.

I'd like a mutual fizzing out. Sounds healthy and quite mature.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be upfront with them just tell them look it was grate and all but it’s best we are just friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I ensure they are clear on what I want and I make sure it's freiendly and that I don't do anything to cause them harm or ill feeling. ( but also it's to limit damage to me

) "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when they kind of organically fizzle out on here? No hard feelings involved, just a mutual lost of interest?

Are you “Let’s stay friends“ or rather “Cancel - clear - delete” kind of person?

Or maybe something in between?

It would be interesting to know.

Full ghost, no need to waste energy on someone not in my life anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They usually delete me and block me.

Saves me a job I guess.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

If it’s a no issue fizzle we are usually friends. One of my closest friends is someone from here that I just have film nights and food with.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Return all their underwear by post in a Jiffy bag with a note that reads… I believe these belong to you.

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By *imber wolfMan
over a year ago

Aycliffe

It’s pretty straightforward when it’s a predominantly sexual arrangement, sometimes stay friendly, mostly not, but usually part on good terms. It’s when romantic feelings are involved that things get complicated. A clean break is definitely best in those circumstances.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

As best as I can in the context of the situational factors.

If I have to make a clean break, it's nearly always because I need to for my own well-being. Usually, my MH issues.

Other than that relationships can usually fall gently into 'friend zones' or fluctuate if communication feels open - that's generally the key. When that goes I start mentally checking out.

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

"Return all their underwear by post in a Jiffy bag with a note that reads… I believe these belong to you."

Hahahahaha

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By *lexm87Man
over a year ago

Various

No ending, in any context, will ever beat the ending of Stevie Wonder's "I just called to say I love you" for sheer awfulness.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

"when they kind of organically fizzle out on here? No hard feelings involved, just a mutual lost of interest?

Are you “Let’s stay friends“ or rather “Cancel - clear - delete” kind of person?

Or maybe something in between?

It would be interesting to know.

If it’s a mutual loss of interest, I don’t really do anything. It’s not as though they will be asking to meet again in those circumstances.

If I have lost interest and they haven’t, I will just let them know that I don’t wish to meet again.

I cannot remember it happening the other way round, but I would accept their decision gracefully if it did.

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

It's not nice, but it depends how close you were and whether you were in love. But I usually just walk away.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

"when they kind of organically fizzle out on here? No hard feelings involved, just a mutual lost of interest?

Are you “Let’s stay friends“ or rather “Cancel - clear - delete” kind of person?

Or maybe something in between?

It would be interesting to know.

I always try and remain freinds if the other person wants to.

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

"Return all their underwear by post in a Jiffy bag with a note that reads… I believe these belong to you."

Hopefully you also include some that blatantly doesn’t belong to them, you know just to keep in interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually wouldn't want to remain friends, plus they aren't even real friends, the whole reason you got talking is because they wanted to fuck you, not because they thought you were a "great" person. Simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to stay in touch with the people, even if it is only an occasional catch up to make sure they are still alive and happy. I would prefer it if they did not ghost me, but rather say "ok it was fun, but I've moved on". That has yet to happen, though some have gone quiet.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

If they meant anything then friends is the ideal.

I have walked away from FWB and stayed friends... Why not when you've shared part of your life with them and trusted them with your body

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

"I actually wouldn't want to remain friends, plus they aren't even real friends, the whole reason you got talking is because they wanted to fuck you, not because they thought you were a "great" person. Simple as that.

Yeah I can see what you mean. From my own experience I have met people on here who are fab only while other have become freinds and aquantence. I have even met one women's family and I have freinds from fab who are now F book freinds or exchanged phone numbers only wishing then merry x-mass and new year. Some I have lost contact with some I still keep in contact with but thats life in general.

In the journey of life some people come for the ride while others stop off along the way.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I let them just fizzle out.

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By *aughtyandhandsomeMan
over a year ago

button moon

Usually just fizzle out but mostly I fuck it all up before that stage!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to let things fizzle out if they've run their course. I'm a big one for the whole "reciprocal liking" so if someone starts going cold then I just let it fade out. However if you have severely pissed me off I will cut you out of my life like a tumour. U are dead to me and gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always found it very difficult as it's usually always me that ends things. Always been in person and delicately as possible. Staying friends is always what I want but a lot of women just haven't been able to and it's a delete from them.. which is sad but I totally understand.. different folks have different ways of dealing with break ups. The 2 times where I've really felt love and it ended, it was mutual kinda .. it's strange how you go through phases of being really fussy early on and cutting loose before things get too heavy then after a while you miss the stability of having a relationship and the next one that comes along you let things bubble and become more close and settled for a while .. but then doubt and boredom and those missing tick _oxes causes distance to creep in. When will my mind and heart get together and settle .. ? :-/ ..

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By *ll-Knight-longMan
over a year ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)

I use to have 3 main FAB fwb’s one in Wales. One in London & one in midlands. The one in midlands turned sour & I blocked after letting her know. One in Wales stayed friends for a year even meeting up again before drifting apart. Now live with the other

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t. Once I have them in my claws that’s it, there’s no escape

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"when they kind of organically fizzle out on here? No hard feelings involved, just a mutual lost of interest?

Are you “Let’s stay friends“ or rather “Cancel - clear - delete” kind of person?

Or maybe something in between?

It would be interesting to know.

"
I'm friends forever unless I'm not keen then i just cut ties

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love a social it irons out the creases.

If no interest nothing ventured nothing gained. My issue is photos on here are nothing compared to real person.

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By *eeliciouschaos OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

Thank you for all your replies.

It was purely hypothetical question prompted by the recent conversation with someone and it got me thinking. It was really interesting to see all those responses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes you must drift apart and a conversation isn't necessary, sometimes they have been a twat and a telling off and blocking should be done ha. I usually just leave it though unless we have created a friendship and one that I will treasure.

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

I’ve actually spent much of the night pondering this question (not just because of your thread OP more a situation I unwittingly found myself in oops). I actually realise that I’m shit at ending things and even when I think I’ve been really clear, the other person doesn’t quite get that same message.

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By *mwirralMan
over a year ago

wirral

"I’ve actually spent much of the night pondering this question (not just because of your thread OP more a situation I unwittingly found myself in oops). I actually realise that I’m shit at ending things and even when I think I’ve been really clear, the other person doesn’t quite get that same message."

Hopefully you worked it out from all the feedback that was on here

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By *eeliciouschaos OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

Oh, this is an actually pretty solid question, if you think about it.

That’s why I’m inclined to join the “cancel - clear - delete” camp, to avoid any confusion, but I’m also very clear from the start it’s what is going to happen.

Hope you will manage to find the best solution xx

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Bookmarking!

Will read with interest as it is my situation now… meh.

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By *eeliciouschaos OP Woman
over a year ago

Wherever

"Bookmarking!

Will read with interest as it is my situation now… meh.

It’s an interesting read indeed. Hope you’ll find some answers xx

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

"Bookmarking!

Will read with interest as it is my situation now… meh.

Lol message me and we can plan our strategies together

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Ok, I’m a quick reader

I told one of my long term fwbs who clearly had no interest in meeting again that I was letting him go as a lover, but still wanted him in my life as a friend, as we are friends… I read one post saying that they’re not really friends… erm, I’m sorry but I beg to differ. You can build many meaningful relationships on here! This was after 2 years…

And now another fwb, 4+ years, it’s more than obvious it’s fizzling out… not on my part, I may add. But I am tempted to just let go and not say anything.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Ok, I’m a quick reader

And now another fwb, 4+ years, it’s more than obvious it’s fizzling out… not on my part, I may add. But I am tempted to just let go and not say anything."

You can ask for it , it’s not always possible though for others to stay friends if they will always hope for more

Sometimes they have to block you to cope with the loss or risk of booty calls.

I’m pretty laid back , stay friends with most

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas

Have you ever seen Dexter?

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Have you ever seen Dexter?

Haha yeah that was a terrible ending lol

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

"Have you ever seen Dexter?

I haven’t! Should I? I never watch series until 10+ years after they came out. Obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy atm. Big, big crush on Dr. Torres

*goes off for a Google*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a natural thing on here and most hook ups are set up to be a one night thing. For me, they need to match every kinda vibe for a next time and that's rare. You could have fantastic sex but your personalities don't gel that well or you get on so well, the sex ventures more into a friends vibe. Or the sex could be downright dreadful on one side but the other didn't get that message. Whatever the scenario, everyone just needs to communicate what they are feeling and not play games. It's no one's fault, we just can't be compatible with everyone in life that's all.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy atm. Big, big crush on Dr. Torres

Oh, good god yes. I had a massive crush on her too. Huge.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

"Obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy atm. Big, big crush on Dr. Torres

Oh, good god yes. I had a massive crush on her too. Huge.

Latina power is the way forward.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Latina power is the way forward.

I think you might be on to something there …

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

If it’s fizzled out. Probably remove from my friends list but not block.

Clear any messages from off the site, but not block.

Kind of like when you clear your wardrobe out. And you keep that old tshirt - you’ll probably never wear it again but it might do for decorating in

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Depends upon the person's circumstances and what their future holds for them and past experiences.

But id say you begin to learn more about the person whether it's possible to be able to pick up in different scenarios regardless how far apart anyone has lost contact depending how deep the connection between is

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By *ick-Dastardly-Man
over a year ago

A whole world of Shit.

"when they kind of organically fizzle out on here? No hard feelings involved, just a mutual lost of interest?

Are you “Let’s stay friends“ or rather “Cancel - clear - delete” kind of person?

Or maybe something in between?

It would be interesting to know.

Nah just ghost them or if they are clingy just block

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I say “look babes, it’s not really working is it. Let’s call it a day and leave it”

Then I block them. No 3am booty texts for me thank you!!

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By *ick-Dastardly-Man
over a year ago

A whole world of Shit.

"I say “look babes, it’s not really working is it. Let’s call it a day and leave it”

Then I block them. No 3am booty texts for me thank you!! "

Gotta be cruel to be kind

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

On other sites as well, I wish the other person good luck for the future and never just 'ghost'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the evidence of my previous all too brief relationship from a few years ago, badly. Overreacted and threw my toys out of my pram.

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