FabSwingers.com forum: The FabSwingers Holy* Commandments ..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What are they, Fabsters?

For example, Thou shalt never answer “avoid” about a female in a Snog, Marry, Avoid thread.

But what else my lovelies? Not just forum related, it can be anything to do with the site!

Remember, play nicely. Don’t do owt to get the thread into trouble!

(* or not, if you’re an atheist or offended by that sort of thing)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Never admit you’re popular

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Oh no, I've broken the only commandment so far.

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

Mrs

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

Thou shall not lamp post piss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Never say you're happy about

- how you look

- your sex life

- how you're doing in general.

Self deprecating only.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Thou shalt never open your vagina so wide people can see your lungs.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do a thread when you leave so you know you’re loved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never disagree with a female.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt never have standards and take all sex offered to us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never, ever give advice.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Thou shall never mention the private telegram group.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never ask to see Nora’s foof

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

"Never disagree with a female."

I disagree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never say you're happy about

- how you look

- your sex life

- how you're doing in general.

Self deprecating only. "

I must be ugly because I get no replies. Hahaha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never disagree with a female.

I disagree "

I said female

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"Never, ever give advice."

Good advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shall never have preferences as a man, accept anything and everything you are given

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thou shall never mention the private telegram group."

It’s a plural, surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never, ever give advice.

Good advice."

Have messaged you on the Telegram group, hun x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shall never mention the private telegram group.

It’s a plural, surely?

There’s a lot.

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

"Never disagree with a female.

I disagree

I said female"

I’m terrible at math but something doesn’t add up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt always offer popcorn on a controversial thread to show what a comedic genius you truly are

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

Thou shall be sexist but not sexist,

All ye can be Misandrist but thy Misogny is forbidden in the garden of Eden.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thou shalt always offer popcorn on a controversial thread to show what a comedic genius you truly are"

*pulls up chair

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Thou shalt always offer popcorn on a controversial thread to show what a comedic genius you truly are"

That’s like that bloke with no ears ( can’t remember his name ) who makes the pineapple on pizza joke every time

like fucking hell mate give it a rest.

The mr

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

"Thou shalt always offer popcorn on a controversial thread to show what a comedic genius you truly are"

Well, there goes my tactics

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Oh no, I've broken the only commandment so far.

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

Mrs "

So have I. I'm a multiple offender

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Thou shalt not write to or display a verification from a forum user that mentions anything about intercourse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt always offer popcorn on a controversial thread to show what a comedic genius you truly are

*pulls up chair

Can I sit on your lap $-

That's another one that chaps my ass

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Thou shalt just not.

I mean it.

Stop it.

You’ll go blind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone mentions the bbc, get straight in with an itv comment

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Thou shalt not write to or display a verification from a forum user that mentions anything about intercourse."

Ah, shit. That’s me fucked then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you're being a dick just end it with

and that makes it all ok.

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By *WINGStars23Couple
over a year ago

Northwest

This one's for the moderators.

Thou shalt not go into someone's profile, and delete photos or content, that's already been approved. Just because they won't shaggy you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are they, Fabsters?

For example, Thou shalt never answer “avoid” about a female in a Snog, Marry, Avoid thread.

But what else my lovelies? Not just forum related, it can be anything to do with the site!

Remember, play nicely. Don’t do owt to get the thread into trouble!

(* or not, if you’re an atheist or offended by that sort of thing) "

Attention seeking..

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not write to or display a verification from a forum user that mentions anything about intercourse."

If thou darest to do such a thing, make sure thine affronted levels are truly high if someone dares to make a comment/joke about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not write to or display a verification from a forum user that mentions anything about intercourse."

I displayed yours

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"When you're being a dick just end it with

and that makes it all ok. "

I thought it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you're being a dick just end it with

and that makes it all ok.

I thought it was

Oh, my bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone mentions the bbc, get straight in with an itv comment "

Noooo ITVX

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"When you're being a dick just end it with

and that makes it all ok.

I thought it was

Oh, my bad. "

I'm pretty sure they're both used

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Oh, my bad. "

Yeah, what the fuck were you thinking?

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners

Thou shalt not question those who in the eyes of thy brothers and thy sisters are popular or attractive. In such a case a witching party is authorised and a good old fashioned lynching will take place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are they, Fabsters?

For example, Thou shalt never answer “avoid” about a female in a Snog, Marry, Avoid thread.

But what else my lovelies? Not just forum related, it can be anything to do with the site!

Remember, play nicely. Don’t do owt to get the thread into trouble!

(* or not, if you’re an atheist or offended by that sort of thing) "

DO NOT MOAN about lack of female action when all your messages been ignored. Move on its life

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

Thou shalt;

Always swipe right on a couple

Never swipe left on a single guy..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No more threads about who is popular and no more sending messages to telegram to trash posts

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Sh*t why did nobody tell me when I was breaking all of these commandments ?

Meli, I need absolution, get the nun outfit out

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Thou shalt not question those who in the eyes of thy brothers and thy sisters are popular or attractive. In such a case a witching party is authorised and a good old fashioned lynching will take place.

Ooh! Witches! Very seasonal

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Ooh! Witches! Very seasonal

Before you ask, I’ll go “treat” please

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Sh*t why did nobody tell me when I was breaking all of these commandments ?

Meli, I need absolution, get the nun outfit out

Ha. I'm a sinner myself. Let's enjoy hellfire together.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thou shalt totally ignore the point made by a non forum-famous single male in a forum thread, but laud the female who makes exactly the same point 30 minutes later as a literary genius

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"Sh*t why did nobody tell me when I was breaking all of these commandments ?

Meli, I need absolution, get the nun outfit out

Ha. I'm a sinner myself. Let's enjoy hellfire together.

Ooofftt

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Should never refuse any offer to meet

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

We all know it's never to mention the clique.

The clique don't like it!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Thou shalt not chat back forth if thou art a woman and then decline to meet the bloke who gave up his precious time and effort and never got a sniff... lest he start a thread decrying your lack of manners and his absolute apoplectic rage.

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"Should never refuse any offer to meet

Hi, we’re only a count hours train journey apart……….

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Thou shoudst never be abusive. It upsets the cunts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do a thread when you leave so you know you’re loved. "

I plan on doing one when we leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t mention race.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t mention race.

"
oh FFS

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Thou should never mention the "clique"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We all know it's never to mention the clique.

The clique don't like it!"

whoever shouts “There is no clique! Just a group of friends with common interests who naturally gravitate to each other and ignore others” loudest, is surely part of the clique!

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Thou shalt not write to or display a verification from a forum user that mentions anything about intercourse.

Ah, shit. That’s me fucked then."

Oooh, who you been doing the dance of the sexy slugs with then

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"Thou shoudst never be abusive. It upsets the cunts. "

K’innell I spat my drink out,

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Don’t mention race.

oh FFS"

But if someone does, jump in immediately with a joke about 100 metres sprint.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Always “keep it on the forum” unless you’re hot in which case you can DM people. The problem being you don’t know you’re not hot until you break this rule.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Oooh, who you been doing the dance of the sexy slugs with then

Stand down Nanna! This isn’t a gossip thread.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Thou shall refrain from sending personal pictures, messages etc to others not involved in the conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t mention race.

oh FFS

But if someone does, jump in immediately with a joke about 100 metres sprint."

Or preferring ITV/ Netflix to BBC.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooh, who you been doing the dance of the sexy slugs with then

Stand down Nanna! This isn’t a gossip thread."

People have been gossiping haven’t they

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"No more threads about who is popular and no more sending messages to telegram to trash posts "

I feel like I'm missing out on these Telegram groups

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Don’t mention race.

oh FFS"

There's only one race...

The human race **stares into the horizon**

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not write to or display a verification from a forum user that mentions anything about intercourse.

Ah, shit. That’s me fucked then.

Oooh, who you been doing the dance of the sexy slugs with then

It’ll be all over the Telegram groups

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Oooh, who you been doing the dance of the sexy slugs with then

Stand down Nanna! This isn’t a gossip thread.

People have been gossiping haven’t they"

It's all the drama Mick, I just love it!!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Don’t mention race.

oh FFS

There's only one race...

The human race **stares into the horizon**"

All my friends are the human race. Love this for me.

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"Always “keep it on the forum” unless you’re hot in which case you can DM people. The problem being you don’t know you’re not hot until you break this rule. "

I’ll DM you about it

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"Don’t mention race.

oh FFS

There's only one race...

The human race **stares into the horizon**

All my friends are the human race. Love this for me."

Some got disqualified for shoving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always “keep it on the forum” unless you’re hot in which case you can DM people. The problem being you don’t know you’re not hot until you break this rule. "

Unhot people are allowed to message us from forum threads. Pickle does it plenty

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Always “keep it on the forum” unless you’re hot in which case you can DM people. The problem being you don’t know you’re not hot until you break this rule. "

This is a good one. I remember a woman starting a thread about how angry she was with people who couldn't keep it in the forum and when I commented she replied by DM which was ironic and hilarious.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Thou shalt always send noods to people asking, so they have something to masturbate over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always “keep it on the forum” unless you’re hot in which case you can DM people. The problem being you don’t know you’re not hot until you break this rule.

Unhot people are allowed to message us from forum threads. Pickle does it plenty

Ain’t no way I’m getting dragged by you

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Always “keep it on the forum” unless you’re hot in which case you can DM people. The problem being you don’t know you’re not hot until you break this rule.

This is a good one. I remember a woman starting a thread about how angry she was with people who couldn't keep it in the forum and when I commented she replied by DM which was ironic and hilarious."

I like anything to do with the thread topic to stay on the thread. I'm ok with people messaging me from a thread that is private.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t mention race.

oh FFS

There's only one race...

The human race **stares into the horizon**"

great

Just laughed and vomited at the same time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thou shalt always send noods to people asking, so they have something to masturbate over.

I like this one!

Ladies .. boobs to my inbox? Purrrlease?

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners

Ooh! Witches! Very seasonal

I dabble in current affairs but generally its just witchful thinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t mention race.

oh FFS

There's only one race...

The human race **stares into the horizon**

All my friends are the human race. Love this for me."

Lucky you. You can’t be racist then.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

If in doubt, pass and out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If in doubt, pass out! "

Better.

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

Thou shalt lurk in the pass / fuck threads until such time as a maiden of the fair sex commenteth on the profile beforeth thee.

Thou shalt then type fuck with utmost alacrity.

If thou failest to posteth instantaneously, thou shalt findeth yourself lost in a sea of [removed by poster] of the other gentlefolk vying for the attentions of said maiden. For the fear of being mistaketh as someone wishing to fornicate with the gentlemen above will then requireth to verily assure all that he be as straiteth as a very straight thing from Straightland.

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By *lexm87Man
over a year ago

Various

"Thou shalt not write to or display a verification from a forum user that mentions anything about intercourse.

Ah, shit. That’s me fucked then.

Oooh, who you been doing the dance of the sexy slugs with then

Jumps on chair and starts looking for salt.

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"Thou shalt lurk in the pass / fuck threads until such time as a maiden of the fair sex commenteth on the profile beforeth thee.

Thou shalt then type fuck with utmost alacrity.

Sssshhh that’s secret bro code

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

If thou behavest as a twat, thou shouldst expect to be treated as a twat and then ignored and gossip-ed about behindeth thy back.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"If thou behavest as a twat, thou shouldst expect to be treated as a twat and then ignored and gossip-ed about behindeth thy back."

On Telegram I assume.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"If thou behavest as a twat, thou shouldst expect to be treated as a twat and then ignored and gossip-ed about behindeth thy back.

On Telegram I assume.

If though art tempted to the telegram thy should accept a lash o the cat for every lash of the tongue you gave. Gossipy bastids.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Thou shalt lurk in the pass / fuck threads until such time as a maiden of the fair sex commenteth on the profile beforeth thee.

Thou shalt then type fuck with utmost alacrity.

For the sake of prevention of any doubt, such men must always proclaim STRAIGHT in capitals, preferably with exclamation marks. And never adjacent to the word Fab.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

If thou hast introduced thy wife to swinging , then she must be proclaimed as bi and will lick all fanny brought before her.

You willst also be so kind as to let all other men ride her first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never talk sense

Talk in code

Never dress to impress

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"If thou behavest as a twat, thou shouldst expect to be treated as a twat and then ignored and gossip-ed about behindeth thy back."

You don't need to have behaved as a twat for that, Granny. You just need to have someone who has decided you did tell people it's the case.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"If thou behavest as a twat, thou shouldst expect to be treated as a twat and then ignored and gossip-ed about behindeth thy back.

You don't need to have behaved as a twat for that, Granny. You just need to have someone who has decided you did tell people it's the case."

You are right there Posh xx Such is the empty life of a jealous bitter soul that talketh shite about their bretheren.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"If thou behavest as a twat, thou shouldst expect to be treated as a twat and then ignored and gossip-ed about behindeth thy back.

You don't need to have behaved as a twat for that, Granny. You just need to have someone who has decided you did tell people it's the case.

You are right there Posh xx Such is the empty life of a jealous bitter soul that talketh shite about their bretheren."

Indeedeth Granny. Indeedeth

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If thou behavest as a twat, thou shouldst expect to be treated as a twat and then ignored and gossip-ed about behindeth thy back.

You don't need to have behaved as a twat for that, Granny. You just need to have someone who has decided you did tell people it's the case.

You are right there Posh xx Such is the empty life of a jealous bitter soul that talketh shite about their bretheren.

Indeedeth Granny. Indeedeth"

Can I be added to the gossip groups please? My Telegram really isn’t difficult to guess.. and I want to know ALL the dirt! Thx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"If thou behavest as a twat, thou shouldst expect to be treated as a twat and then ignored and gossip-ed about behindeth thy back.

You don't need to have behaved as a twat for that, Granny. You just need to have someone who has decided you did tell people it's the case.

You are right there Posh xx Such is the empty life of a jealous bitter soul that talketh shite about their bretheren.

Indeedeth Granny. Indeedeth

Can I be added to the gossip groups please? My Telegram really isn’t difficult to guess.. and I want to know ALL the dirt! Thx

One thing Dan ......

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No two things....... uhmmmmmmmm three

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No two things....... uhmmmmmmmm three

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

1. I don't know what the Telegram Group is ...

2. I don't know what it is

3. I don't know

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"1. I don't know what the Telegram Group is ...

2. I don't know what it is

3. I don't know"

Hopefully the clique will add me

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

And I very theldom gothip... tho I will listen to it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"1. I don't know what the Telegram Group is ...

2. I don't know what it is

3. I don't know

Hopefully the clique will add me

Then I’ll DM you ALL the juice!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"1. I don't know what the Telegram Group is ...

2. I don't know what it is

3. I don't know

Hopefully the clique will add me

Only AFTER the gossip

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"If thou behavest as a twat, thou shouldst expect to be treated as a twat and then ignored and gossip-ed about behindeth thy back.

On Telegram I assume.

If though art tempted to the telegram thy should accept a lash o the cat for every lash of the tongue you gave. Gossipy bastids."

Gossipy, and kinky I presume.

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

Thou shalt always share your wife with other wives

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Thou shalt only ever login when freshly showered and dressed to the 9s, in the sexiest outfits and be immediately available for sexual activities of any so demanding dog-minded human. Likewise, thou shalt discuss sexual activities in torrid details, at length, for any red blooded Tom, Dick or Harry.

Posting 'Not meeting', or equivalent, is code for wanting everything, with everybody.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Tho shalt not take any forum moderator's name in vain

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