FabSwingers.com forum: First date

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Should a man pay for the meal on a first date if yes why?

Or should you both pay

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s a bit old fashion once and awkward to go restaurant for a first date. A drink, coffee, something like that is a better way to start. More informal.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sod that, I don’t go for no meal unless it’s a free one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it’s a bit old fashion once and awkward to go restaurant for a first date. A drink, coffee, something like that is a better way to start. More informal. "

Should a man pay for your drinks then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

There's no rule but it's reasonable to pay for what you have agreed to consume. To simplify, you can split the bill 50/50

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it’s a bit old fashion once and awkward to go restaurant for a first date. A drink, coffee, something like that is a better way to start. More informal.

Should a man pay for your drinks then

Personally I prefer take it in turns, or if he buys the drinks I pay for something else. I don’t like feeling like I’m taking advantage of people (or feeling obligated to them).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

My dear fellow in the 3½ years I've been on here only ·3· women have paid for the entire meal / coffee & cake and ·2· have gone 'Dutch'.

Take from that what you will.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I’d be quite happy to split the bill. If he insisted on paying then possibly but I wouldn’t expect it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

This is such an outdated concept, it shouldn't matter but often does, it depends on the person, the situation and the cost, I don't expect anyone to pay for me, will happily split the bill or pick it up or being treated is nice too...

What matters is how someone reacts to it, often men will misinterpret you allowing them to pick up the bill as a sure bet they're getting laid and that's an instant turn off for me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't have the available funds to buy a round of drinks then you shouldn't be meeting up. That goes for both parties.

Usually if I'm meeting someone for a drink it's because I've asked if I can buy them a drink rather than would you like to meet for a drink.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My dear fellow in the 3½ years I've been on here only ·3· women have paid for the entire meal / coffee & cake and ·2· have gone 'Dutch'.

Take from that what you will."

I wouldn't pay for no one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

- I’ve never paid anything on dates

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I’d always expect to split. If someone offers to pay and it’s getting to the point of awkward I’ll gratefully accept but I’ll always pay next time or buy something else instead.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is such an outdated concept, it shouldn't matter but often does, it depends on the person, the situation and the cost, I don't expect anyone to pay for me, will happily split the bill or pick it up or being treated is nice too...

What matters is how someone reacts to it, often men will misinterpret you allowing them to pick up the bill as a sure bet they're getting laid and that's an instant turn off for me.

Yeah, I agree with the last point you made. I don’t want to be in a situation where he thinks because he paid that means I then owe him something in return.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Either go Dutch or pay she'll feel like she owes you and reward with afters

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

The expectation I'd have is we each pay for what we ate and drank.

But I have no issue paying under certain circumstances and situations, especially if I enjoyed the company.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

It depends. Not that I go on many dates and after my recent dalliance in dating possibly never again.

I don't expect anyone to buy me anything but if I'm asked if someone can take me out for a drink or dinner... then that would imply they are paying.

If we agree to go and meet up socially that's different.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on how the date goes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I offer to pay because there’s still lots of women that like that tradition

If she offers to split off her own back, or says “I’ll get the next one” then I know she’s a keeper

If not I move them into the “fun only” section

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

I've never split a bill with anyone regardless of how much it was.

I will either pay the full amount or they have done.

Rounds of drinks can be taken in turns.

If someone sits there and tries to work out "their" half of a bill I just feel awkward/embarrassed and will just pay so I can leave quicker.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ravelling_WilburyMan
over a year ago

Beverley

I'll always offer (drinks; meals aren't a first date IMO). It's nice for the lady to say 'ill get this one' after a couple, though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Date.. Fab swingers do dates

Sign me up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ravelling_WilburyMan
over a year ago

Beverley

Just remembered actually, when I was 19 I went on a date with someone who didn't bring money with her. We were both students, both in the same class. I had a rant at her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll always offer (drinks; meals aren't a first date IMO). It's nice for the lady to say 'ill get this one' after a couple, though "

Interesting you think meals aren’t part of a first date

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

i wait until after Christmas when the price of dates comes down dramatically.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's the difference between being a man and a gentleman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

There’s only been one occasion in my life I insisted someone pay half , she was truly horrible and she told me that in her culture that was the single biggest insult a man could do. I said good, that was my intention, get your card out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's my invitation, it's my bill and vice versa.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *_elie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"My dear fellow in the 3½ years I've been on here only ·3· women have paid for the entire meal / coffee & cake and ·2· have gone 'Dutch'.

Take from that what you will.

I wouldn't pay for no one. "

Which means you'll pay for someone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ycanNightsMan
over a year ago

Workington

"Should a man pay for the meal on a first date if yes why?

Or should you both pay "

On a first date... whoever asked the other out should pay.

That's the way I see it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always insisted on going halves. Even if that means one has done the travel and the other gets lunch/dinner. Or it's straight going halves on food/coffee or a hotel.

If a man insists on paying and refuses to let me go halves I see that as a bit of a red flag and won't be inclined to see him again. I really don't like that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always prefer splitting the bill. It just feels more fair because both parties have agreed to meet up. If a person offers to get me drinks I will still try to pay for anything I have had because that just feels like the right thing to do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"My dear fellow in the 3½ years I've been on here only ·3· women have paid for the entire meal / coffee & cake and ·2· have gone 'Dutch'.

Take from that what you will."

I take from that, you've met 5 women in 3.5 years

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I've always insisted on going halves. Even if that means one has done the travel and the other gets lunch/dinner. Or it's straight going halves on food/coffee or a hotel.

If a man insists on paying and refuses to let me go halves I see that as a bit of a red flag and won't be inclined to see him again. I really don't like that.

If you insist I'll let you pay...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Should a man pay for the meal on a first date if yes why?

Or should you both pay

On a first date... whoever asked the other out should pay.

That's the way I see it.

Moi aussi.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Ever see A Bronx Tale - If she reaches over and unlocks the door for you?

It's one of those moments.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's nice to see not all women like the man to pay. Personally I wouldn't pay for another woman from fab as its a sex site. But if I was dating I would offer to pay.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

No equality is just that. 50 50 always.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’ve never been one for working out who had what. I’d split it but it’s never seemed to happen. Either he pays or I pay. I’d never go anywhere not expecting to pay my way though but I won’t sit there and argue if someone insists. Regular people we tend to take it in turns. We never really split things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

"The expectation I'd have is we each pay for what we ate and drank.

But I have no issue paying under certain circumstances and situations, especially if I enjoyed the company."

Would you really go to the lengths of working out each persons bill? Surely 50/50 is an easier option?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

I’d never expect anyone to pay for me so also wouldn’t go somewhere I couldn’t afford. If we were meeting for drinks I’d usually stay for 2 and we each buy a round (unless of course it’s a truly awful date), but if we were eating then either 50/50 or take it in turns.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Date.. Fab swingers do dates

Sign me up"

Open to interpretation. I don't like the terms socials or meets.

If I've arranged to meet someone on here on a specific date and time, whatever the occasion I call it a date.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

If you're doing the asking, and you're taking the other person out, then you should pay.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally like paying when going on dates

Wolf

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"My dear fellow in the 3½ years I've been on here only ·3· women have paid for the entire meal / coffee & cake and ·2· have gone 'Dutch'.

Take from that what you will.

I take from that, you've met 5 women in 3.5 years

•

Correct!

All the others were lådies.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dear fellow in the 3½ years I've been on here only ·3· women have paid for the entire meal / coffee & cake and ·2· have gone 'Dutch'.

Take from that what you will."

I hope I’m included in one of those 3!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven't done the dating thing in a long time. Socials though yeah just drinks not meals. Its always ended up more than one coffee or drink so if I've bought the first they've bought the second etc. Or vice versa.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"My dear fellow in the 3½ years I've been on here only ·3· women have paid for the entire meal / coffee & cake and ·2· have gone 'Dutch'.

Take from that what you will.

I hope I’m included in one of those 3!

•

You have paid for everything!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

No. I've been on quite a few dates, socials, whatever.

I've never been in a position where I haven't got the next meal/paid for the hotel/got the next round. I'm more than happy to go halves.

Actually, that's not quite true. A rather horrified Italian shoo shoos me every time I go to pay or get my card out but he's the only person who has ever paid for a meal/drinks for me and I've not erm... gone halves or paid for other things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rustratedmissWoman
over a year ago

York

If I'm meeting someone, I'd always offer to go halves as don't expect anyone to pay for what I've eaten or d*unk. However, it usually is less problematic just to get the next round or next meal.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I'm old-fashioned on this one.

I always pick up the tab for the first meet / date / social.

I'm not trying to be flash or expect favours in return. (Honest!)

If I'm meeting a single mum, who can only work part-time and has to pay for school blazers etc, then I wouldn't expect them to contribute if I'd asked them out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I offer to pay, no expectations, if the lady offers to contribute thats cool.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Both.

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread