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The Perfect Penis

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Gentleman*, it's happened. Doctors have developed a fool-proof method of giving you any penis you could imagine, to your specifications. And free if you book within the next 24 hours!

Would you like some more length? A little less girth perhaps? Do you want to return the hoody they took from you? Maybe a splash of colour

What are you having done?

I'm going to go for like a 7" length, maybe a 6.5" around. Keep the top. Maybe a touch of glitter for that "wow" factor

LvM

*Ladies with penis envy may also chime in

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Or even *gentlemen

LvM

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

Can i have one with 9 diferent dysfunctional modes

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Kevin Bacon: Apparently his is the perfect penis

(Or maybe I misread it….HE is a perfect penis….?)

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I'm sure that fella will be along to give us an example of the perfect penis.

For me it would be one that doesn't provide a sigh of disappointment upon seeing it for the first time or an EEEK in fear.

one that fits just nicely thanks.

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

You can have holo glitter and maybe some vibrations added, but no changes to the size. It's perfect the way it is.

K

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By *obin444Man
over a year ago

Windsor

I’d like a bit more length, but it would feel odd after all this time, so I think I’m better off staying with what I was given first time around .

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Gentleman*, it's happened. Doctors have developed a fool-proof method of giving you any penis you could imagine, to your specifications. And free if you book within the next 24 hours!

Would you like some more length? A little less girth perhaps? Do you want to return the hoody they took from you? Maybe a splash of colour

What are you having done?

I'm going to go for like a 7" length, maybe a 6.5" around. Keep the top. Maybe a touch of glitter for that "wow" factor

LvM

*Ladies with penis envy may also chime in "

Glitter pics required. Please n thank you!

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"I'm sure that fella will be along to give us an example of the perfect penis.

For me it would be one that doesn't provide a sigh of disappointment upon seeing it for the first time or an EEEK in fear.

one that fits just nicely thanks."

One Goldilocks™ penis coming right up

LvM

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

A snowglobe helmet for me, though I'd keep the foreskin so it's a surprise.

B

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"You can have holo glitter and maybe some vibrations added, but no changes to the size. It's perfect the way it is.

K"

Aww

LvM

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Ooh ooh can mine play a little tune upon orgasm of the other person involved like "another one bites the dust" or similar.

And one for me when I come like

"Gold" by Spandau ballet.

And maybe my helmet revolves around a light's up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An option for it to vibrate would be good!

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"Ooh ooh can mine play a little tune upon orgasm of the other person involved like "another one bites the dust" or similar.

And one for me when I come like

"Gold" by Spandau ballet.

And maybe my helmet revolves around a light's up?"

Oh you fancy fancy

LvM

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"I’d like a bit more length, but it would feel odd after all this time, so I think I’m better off staying with what I was given first time around ."

Just wouldn't feel right in the hand y'know? How about a splash of colour to keep it fresh?

LvM

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"You can have holo glitter and maybe some vibrations added, but no changes to the size. It's perfect the way it is.

K

Aww

LvM"

Oh and can you make it glow in the dark, so that it's easier to find it under the duvet at night.

Faaaanks

K

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By *uff the Boner!Man
over a year ago

SWANSEA

I think mine fits your criteria, but I might be biased lol

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Nothing. Apparently it's a Goldilocks variety already

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Nothing. Apparently it's a Goldilocks variety already "

Goldicock Chilly, surely.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby


"You can have holo glitter and maybe some vibrations added, but no changes to the size. It's perfect the way it is.

K"

6.5 , Glitter and vibration is just perfect, i want to order 2 please

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By *aravanParamourMan
over a year ago

The Broads

Keep my cock the same but deliver chocolate favoured cum.x

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I could do with a little more length to the flaccid version on my penis please.

I’d like to wear grey joggers outside and not just in the house.

I don’t want to awkwardly explain that he’s a grower to every female eye I catch looking.

The mr

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

I'm happy with mine, thanks.

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"I could do with a little more length to the flaccid version on my penis please.

I’d like to wear grey joggers outside and not just in the house.

I don’t want to awkwardly explain that he’s a grower to every female eye I catch looking.

The mr "

Perfect for a good windmill video too I hear

LvM

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan
over a year ago

Wigan

Does it only work on penises? I don't feel any need to change the one I have already, it's the body it's attached to that could do with some alterations.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"I could do with a little more length to the flaccid version on my penis please.

I’d like to wear grey joggers outside and not just in the house.

I don’t want to awkwardly explain that he’s a grower to every female eye I catch looking.

The mr "

Absolutely not! I'm not having it, I love small peen, he's so sweet then bam!! The monster has awoken.

Do not take away my small peen, I'll stop sucking it!!

Mrs

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"You can have holo glitter and maybe some vibrations added, but no changes to the size. It's perfect the way it is.

K

6.5 , Glitter and vibration is just perfect, i want to order 2 please "

A one person DP? Great choice

LvM

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

One that emits any song I want while it's banging me, and can taste of anything I like too.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"I could do with a little more length to the flaccid version on my penis please.

I’d like to wear grey joggers outside and not just in the house.

I don’t want to awkwardly explain that he’s a grower to every female eye I catch looking.

The mr

Perfect for a good windmill video too I hear

LvM"

Yes I need a semi to windmill, otherwise it’s less windmill and more cog.

The mr

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"Ooh ooh can mine play a little tune upon orgasm of the other person involved like "another one bites the dust" or similar.

And one for me when I come like

"Gold" by Spandau ballet.

And maybe my helmet revolves around a light's up?

Oh you fancy fancy

LvM"

Oh and maybe a built in pez dispenser so if the lady gets snacky during a BJ she can flip up my helmet and get a sweet treat.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

No I'm quite good with mine. It's not perfect but I like it

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby


"You can have holo glitter and maybe some vibrations added, but no changes to the size. It's perfect the way it is.

K

6.5 , Glitter and vibration is just perfect, i want to order 2 please

A one person DP? Great choice

LvM"

Can be add clitoris estimulation in to it ?

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Not to wake up before I do

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Erect I’d probably keep it the same not saying it’s huge or owt but happy enough with it, I would change it to be bigger when flaccid as it goes fucking tiny, one time thankfully before camera phones a photo sneakily taken during extreme dehydration through the Cyprus heat and alcohol existed and the taker of the photo would keep it in his car and show everyone we met till one at I found his car unlocked and thankfully destroyed it. A bigger flaccid tiddler would avoid any more situations like this arising

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands


"I could do with a little more length to the flaccid version on my penis please.

I’d like to wear grey joggers outside and not just in the house.

I don’t want to awkwardly explain that he’s a grower to every female eye I catch looking.

The mr "

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By *ake_or_deathMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I'd fit mine with Bluetooth.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I was reading an alien romance once and the males penis had little tenticles that came out of the end to stimulate inside the vagina for added sensation. I'd quite fancy trying that out if anyone fancies that modification

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy with mine... ithink

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By *ullyMan
over a year ago

Near Clacton

T B H I am more than happy with mine.

Just doesn't get the use it should though

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

A bottle opener also.

Basically a Swiss army penis with lots of extra attachments.

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"I could do with a little more length to the flaccid version on my penis please.

I’d like to wear grey joggers outside and not just in the house.

I don’t want to awkwardly explain that he’s a grower to every female eye I catch looking.

The mr

Absolutely not! I'm not having it, I love small peen, he's so sweet then bam!! The monster has awoken.

Do not take away my small peen, I'll stop sucking it!!

Mrs "

K

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By *ornyguyMan
over a year ago

Hillsborough, NI

Can I fit mine with a fanny magnet?

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