FabSwingers.com forum: The Culinary Matchmaking Match Up

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Oi Oi; Cupid here once again good folks

Last time I matched you all up, the heady scent of sex permeated the very air! It was indeed most lewd and debauched!

This time I’m matching you all up based upon the science of culinary prowess and licentious gormandising.

Yes indeed; simply list your best dish that you would prepare lovingly for a potential date.

Remember, a Pot Noodle is awesome and obviously guaranteed to impress and get you the sex stuff and all but I want you to really showcase your skills here.

Now sit back and peruse everyone else’s offerings.

See a dish that is making you salivate or possibly even sexually aroused? Great! Shout ‘FUCK YES!!!’ as a reply to said person before getting to really know them in the Biblical sense.

It couldn’t be simpler and even better, you can have as many matches and subsequent shags as you like. Blooming awesome, right?

Off you go now my fine people and may the force be with you and stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slow roast leg of lamb with dauphinois potatoes and tender steam broccoli with jam roly poly for after

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Slow roast leg of lamb with dauphinois potatoes and tender steam broccoli with jam roly poly for after "

FUCK YES!!!

Oh wait….Cupid sadly cannot participate

I can salivate however

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pot noodle.....in a bowl.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

Chicken Kyiv, mash and runner beans.

Followed by

Chocolate sponge roulade filled with chocolate mousse and cream.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pot noodle.....in a bowl. "

In a bowl…too posh for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lasagne and garlic bread is the best I can do I’m afraid.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Pot noodle.....in a bowl. "

That be dead classy that be!

I like to put it in sandwiches.

I’m posh me…

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Strewth! Thy luscious dishes are giving me a boner of gargantuan magnitude here!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Bitbat Kiscoffs and a lot of spunk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x"

Forget my lasagne, yours sounds much better

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

Seared Scallops and Baby Spinach with Spiced Pomegranate Glaze

And

Japanese Roast Chicken with veg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Steak cooked over fire with dirty fries

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

Chicken breast stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon with vegetable rice and a tomato sauce (not ketchup)

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Oh and I forgot to mention: if you can’t cook for shit, fear not! - Simply shout ‘Cupid! Help, you mutherfucker!’ and I’ll copy and paste a recipe from a Michelin restaurant or something and post it here on your behalf; Guaranteed sex shall inevitably follow

(I’m dead good like that see)

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

Steak, chips and mushrooms, and a bottle of red/rosé

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x

Forget my lasagne, yours sounds much better

We could make it a joint effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

CUPID, HELP YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

The best bouillabaisse you ever had, or just my brilliant frittata

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chips sitting on the dock of Folkestine bay

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Meat and two veg, with a side of terrible sarcasm

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Sweet and sour chicken (hong kong/Cantonese style)

Beef in black bean sauce

Singapore noodles

I don’t do puddings I’m afraid.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"CUPID, HELP YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

Cupid to the rescue fair maiden!

Righty oh….

Hmmm….how about Laksa which originates from Malaysia?

It’s a spicy, sweet, sour and fragrant soup made either with a rich and spicy coconut milk broth or a sour asam broth made with tamarind. The delicious soup (well, it says it is at least) features thick wheat noodles or rice vermicelli and is served with chicken, prawn or fish

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’m offering a choice

Stuffed chicken breast wrapped in Parma ham with hasselback potatoes broccoli carrots and a creamy white wine sauce.

Fish pie with peas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fillet steak with mushrooms, Docelatte and parma ham on wilted spinach, with green beans and honey roast parsnips.

Lemon tart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x

Forget my lasagne, yours sounds much better

We could make it a joint effort

Yes! Let’s do that. Then we can feed each other dessert like they do in the movies. I’ll bring candles

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x

Forget my lasagne, yours sounds much better

We could make it a joint effort

Yes! Let’s do that. Then we can feed each other dessert like they do in the movies. I’ll bring candles

Result!

See, Cupid always guarantees sexcess

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Chicken chopped into strips and coated with soy sauce, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, pepper, salt, cornflour and Chinese 5 spice powder then dry fried in a pan and served with a slice of buttered bread

Yes I’m aware my cooking is shit haha this is the meal I make for self most nights

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Starter : egg and soldiers.

Main : turkey dinosaurs, smiley faces, beans.

Dessert : jelly & ice cream.

The mr

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Sticky teriyaki chicken with rice followed by Ben and Jerry's Phish Food spoon fed to you whilst cuddled up on the sofa.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Pork pie from Sainsbury followed by a Freddo

My cooking skills are shit ngl

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Duck with a cream and plum sauce new potatoes and French beans.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Steak cooked over fire with dirty fries

Ooh, I'll take an order of this. Rare please

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Starter : egg and soldiers.

Main : turkey dinosaurs, smiley faces, beans.

Dessert : jelly & ice cream.

The mr "

Are you 6?

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"Starter : egg and soldiers.

Main : turkey dinosaurs, smiley faces, beans.

Dessert : jelly & ice cream.

The mr "

I'll bring the Orange squash

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Starter : egg and soldiers.

Main : turkey dinosaurs, smiley faces, beans.

Dessert : jelly & ice cream.

The mr

Are you 6?"

4 next mouth. I wear big boy pants now

The mr

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Exclusive: In an unprecedented display of lascivious yearning after reading so many of these mouth watering sounding dishes, I have decided to break my own rules and enter myself into this fuckfest fray

I shall therefore promise the following to anyone lucky enough to choose me:

…A main course of casu marzu

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I made fluffy American pancakes, bacon, scrambled egg and drizzled it all with maple syrup at the weekend

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Exclusive: In an unprecedented display of lascivious yearning after reading so many of these mouth watering sounding dishes, I have decided to break my own rules and enter myself into this fuckfest fray

I shall therefore promise the following to anyone lucky enough to choose me:

…A main course of casu marzu

FFS

This is why I don’t google things from fab.

You’re off my list!!!!

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Wagyu Ribeye steak, triple cooked chips and roasted Mediterranean veg. Followed by homemade Creme Brûlée.

Apologies to any vegans or vegetarians

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By *izzymonkeyMan
over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush

I shall therefore promise the following to anyone lucky enough to choose me:

…A main course of casu marzu

That's up there with surströmming

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x

Forget my lasagne, yours sounds much better

We could make it a joint effort

Yes! Let’s do that. Then we can feed each other dessert like they do in the movies. I’ll bring candles

It's a date

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shall therefore promise the following to anyone lucky enough to choose me:

…A main course of casu marzu

My brain likes to remind me this exists every now and again….usually when I’m eating

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Let's go for a seafood paella with a bottle of wine

Lemon drizzle for dessert

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"CUPID, HELP YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

Cupid to the rescue fair maiden!

Righty oh….

Hmmm….how about Laksa which originates from Malaysia?

Ooh Cupid, this sounds amazing.

Thank you.

I do actually have a party piece but I think it needs changing for something else. I think it works a little too well. One man while devouring my party piece, asked me what I was I was doing at the weekend and when I replied nothing, he told me I was getting married. So maybe I'll try your suggestion instead!

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Bitbat Kiscoffs and a lot of spunk

Fuck yes

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Can cook… CBA.

Open to offers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x

Forget my lasagne, yours sounds much better

We could make it a joint effort

And then spread the ice cream over each other's bodies and lick it off! No? Just me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slow roast leg of lamb with dauphinois potatoes and tender steam broccoli with jam roly poly for after "

No custard?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fillet steak with mushrooms, Docelatte and parma ham on wilted spinach, with green beans and honey roast parsnips.

Lemon tart. "

So far in this thread you're the most appealing!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Liquid supper #alcohol in copious quantities with a 3am kebab or curry on the way home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sticky BBQ chicken with cinnamon seasoned sweet potato and garlic buttered green beans.

For dessert, homemade Biscoff Cheesecake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ricotta ravioli with sweet peas, zesty lemon and creamy whipped ricotta.

Followed by

Cherry Cheesecake

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Liquid supper #alcohol in copious quantities with a 3am kebab or curry on the way home "

FUCK YES.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I shall therefore promise the following to anyone lucky enough to choose me:

…A main course of casu marzu

FFS

This is why I don’t google things from fab.

You’re off my list!!!!

Erm….can I possibly change your mind if I supply a special maggot fork for the occasion? (We are supposed to eat the little wrigglers I presume?)

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By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago

land of make believe

A hot,spicy,sour & sweet Vietnamese rice noodle bowl with sticky tiger prawns and chicken thighs.

Something sharing & delectable

to follow.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I shall therefore promise the following to anyone lucky enough to choose me:

…A main course of casu marzu

That's up there with surströmming

FUCK YES!

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"Sweet and sour chicken (hong kong/Cantonese style)

Beef in black bean sauce

Singapore noodles

I don’t do puddings I’m afraid."

FUCK YES!!! Who needs pudding!

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I shall therefore promise the following to anyone lucky enough to choose me:

…A main course of casu marzu

My brain likes to remind me this exists every now and again….usually when I’m eating

Yummy! They apparently can hurl themselves over six feet….and bite as well

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"CUPID, HELP YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

Cupid to the rescue fair maiden!

Righty oh….

Hmmm….how about Laksa which originates from Malaysia?

Ooh Cupid, this sounds amazing.

Thank you.

I like his style

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x

Forget my lasagne, yours sounds much better

We could make it a joint effort

And then spread the ice cream over each other's bodies and lick it off! No? Just me?

That was my plan! You’re welcome to join us if you like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shall therefore promise the following to anyone lucky enough to choose me:

…A main course of casu marzu

My brain likes to remind me this exists every now and again….usually when I’m eating

Yummy! They apparently can hurl themselves over six feet….and bite as well

Oh fantastic

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Chicken Fajitas or Beef Enchiladas followed by a lemon cheesecake

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I made fluffy American pancakes, bacon, scrambled egg and drizzled it all with maple syrup at the weekend

Fuck yes!

This is my absolute favourite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x

Forget my lasagne, yours sounds much better

We could make it a joint effort

And then spread the ice cream over each other's bodies and lick it off! No? Just me?

That was my plan! You’re welcome to join us if you like

The ice cream will melt pretty quickly with how hot it's going to be in that room

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Liquid supper #alcohol in copious quantities with a 3am kebab or curry on the way home "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beef Wellington with a rich port and caramelised onion sauce. Honey roasted vegetables (peppers, parsnips, carrots), roast potatoes, any other veg of your choice.

A pudding of either Malteaser cheesecake or a Victoria sponge.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Beef Wellington with a rich port and caramelised onion sauce. Honey roasted vegetables (peppers, parsnips, carrots), roast potatoes, any other veg of your choice.

A pudding of either Malteaser cheesecake or a Victoria sponge.

Oh fuck. Yes.

(Cheesecake please)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Beef Wellington with a rich port and caramelised onion sauce. Honey roasted vegetables (peppers, parsnips, carrots), roast potatoes, any other veg of your choice.

A pudding of either Malteaser cheesecake or a Victoria sponge.

Oh fuck. Yes.

(Cheesecake please)"

Mr cooks, I'll entertain

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Update: The heady smell of sex is truly intoxicating in here now (or possibly it’s my Casu Marzu which no one is willing to eat with me…?)

Either way; Some absolutely divine sounding meals good folks

Indeed, I am presently salivating like one of Pavlov’s dogs at some of your descriptions so a sincere well done on your superb culinary skills

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Can I have dinner at Knitter’s on Friday and at Bellaseas’ on Saturday? Because fuck yes to both of those menus.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I'm volunteering Beef to cook and we'll have what he made at the weekend. All made from scratch

Beef Bourguignon and mash

Biscoff cheesecake.

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Smoked salmon and asparagus risotto with a side salad, followed by a choice of my home-made white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake, or my Bakwell tart, seeved with a bottle of chilled Sancerre.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Bowl of cornflakes with ice cold milk

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"Update: The heady smell of sex is truly intoxicating in here now (or possibly it’s my Casu Marzu which no one is willing to eat with me…?)

Either way; Some absolutely divine sounding meals good folks

Indeed, I am presently salivating like one of Pavlov’s dogs at some of your descriptions so a sincere well done on your superb culinary skills

*passes on the pork pie* it'll go nice with your maggoty cheese....I'll pass, suddenly not very hungry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Beef Wellington with a rich port and caramelised onion sauce. Honey roasted vegetables (peppers, parsnips, carrots), roast potatoes, any other veg of your choice.

A pudding of either Malteaser cheesecake or a Victoria sponge.

Hate to say it...but hell yeah

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By *ackson1989Man
over a year ago

London

"Pot noodle.....in a bowl. "

I second that haha

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Beef Wellington with a rich port and caramelised onion sauce. Honey roasted vegetables (peppers, parsnips, carrots), roast potatoes, any other veg of your choice.

A pudding of either Malteaser cheesecake or a Victoria sponge.

Oh fuck. Yes.

(Cheesecake please)

Mr cooks, I'll entertain

In & In

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Update: The heady smell of sex is truly intoxicating in here now (or possibly it’s my Casu Marzu which no one is willing to eat with me…?)

Either way; Some absolutely divine sounding meals good folks

Indeed, I am presently salivating like one of Pavlov’s dogs at some of your descriptions so a sincere well done on your superb culinary skills

*passes on the pork pie* it'll go nice with your maggoty cheese....I'll pass, suddenly not very hungry

Thank you xxx Mmmm pork pie with my maggots - I shall dine like a king this night

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"I'm volunteering Beef to cook and we'll have what he made at the weekend. All made from scratch

Beef Bourguignon and mash

Biscoff cheesecake.

Fuck yes!

Tinder

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By *litpleaserMan
over a year ago

Oldham

Tandoori Salmon with homemade cucumber dip served with Nann Bread...followed by Trifle

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Cottage or shepherd's pie, broccoli, carrots and green beans with thick gravy.

Lemon cheesecake and extra thick cream to follow

Tinder x

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Cottage or shepherd's pie, broccoli, carrots and green beans with thick gravy.

Lemon cheesecake and extra thick cream to follow

Tinder x"

Fuck yes back atcha!

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x

Forget my lasagne, yours sounds much better

We could make it a joint effort

And then spread the ice cream over each other's bodies and lick it off! No? Just me?

That was my plan! You’re welcome to join us if you like

Mine too but I was being polite

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Crumpets used as a base for pizzas, instead of the usual dough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Beef Wellington with a rich port and caramelised onion sauce. Honey roasted vegetables (peppers, parsnips, carrots), roast potatoes, any other veg of your choice.

A pudding of either Malteaser cheesecake or a Victoria sponge.

Hate to say it...but hell yeah"

Sorry, we already have a guest coming.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"Beef Wellington with a rich port and caramelised onion sauce. Honey roasted vegetables (peppers, parsnips, carrots), roast potatoes, any other veg of your choice.

A pudding of either Malteaser cheesecake or a Victoria sponge.

Oh I missed this! Fuck yeah to this too!

Tinder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Beef Wellington with a rich port and caramelised onion sauce. Honey roasted vegetables (peppers, parsnips, carrots), roast potatoes, any other veg of your choice.

A pudding of either Malteaser cheesecake or a Victoria sponge.

Oh I missed this! Fuck yeah to this too!

Tinder "

We already have a guest, and Carrie is busy.... So we can't wait to host for you!

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Update: The generous offer of my Casu Marzu romantic meal for two has not exactly enticed many……ok, ANY of you yet

Can I sweeten the deal any with an ice cold and intimate glass of Gomutra over candle lit conversation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mains

Slow cooked brisket, mashed potatoes(according to my kids they're the best), seasonal veg, yorky puds,

Dessert

vanilla ice cream

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Sweet and sour chicken (hong kong/Cantonese style)

Beef in black bean sauce

Singapore noodles

I don’t do puddings I’m afraid."

That do me mylady .

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"Update: The heady smell of sex is truly intoxicating in here now (or possibly it’s my Casu Marzu which no one is willing to eat with me…?)

Either way; Some absolutely divine sounding meals good folks

Indeed, I am presently salivating like one of Pavlov’s dogs at some of your descriptions so a sincere well done on your superb culinary skills

*passes on the pork pie* it'll go nice with your maggoty cheese....I'll pass, suddenly not very hungry

Thank you xxx Mmmm pork pie with my maggots - I shall dine like a king this night

You ain't having me Freddo though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lasagne with chunky chips, coleslaw and garlic bread.

Homemade chocolate brownie with strawberries and ice-cream after.

Em x

Forget my lasagne, yours sounds much better

We could make it a joint effort

And then spread the ice cream over each other's bodies and lick it off! No? Just me?

That was my plan! You’re welcome to join us if you like

Mine too but I was being polite

Pffft... polite is overrated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something simple mince and dumplings mash and some steamed veg followed by tiramsui

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