FabSwingers.com forum: Good messages

By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

Does it really annoy anyone else on here when you write a personalised message to someone where a lot of thought has gone into it and the reply is Hi ? I’d rather not get a reply . Anyone else have this ?

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

The world we live in is turning monosyllabic I am afraid

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

It ends the conversation as far as I’m concerned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it really annoy anyone else on here when you write a personalised message to someone where a lot of thought has gone into it and the reply is Hi ? I’d rather not get a reply . Anyone else have this ?"

Don’t response to it

Hold yourself to a higher standard

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By *ndtheswingersMan
over a year ago

colchester

If you get a reply at all, you are doing better than a lot.

You're not owed anything, so even a 'hi' gives you the chance to follow up or ignore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't reply to anyone, finally some one realises this is a good thing.

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I don’t have it therefore it doesn’t annoy me in the slightest.

Cheap and cheerful filter, I’d say.

Just don’t engage further as you’re clearly not compatible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe just reply in kind, see if they contribute any effort.

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Yep, but it serves as another filter.

If I've gone to the trouble of composing a decent message, asking a couple of questions, just to get a 'Hi' back, it tells me that trying to have a conversation with them will be like trying to get blood out of a stone and that my efforts are better focused elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, but it serves as another filter.

If it's someone that doesn't excite me my conversation is terrible. If the replies are shit they just aren't that interested.

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

And I do understand that nobody owes anyone a reply but Hi is just a pet hate

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I've never heard of these "good messages".....what am I missing?? x

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"And I do understand that nobody owes anyone a reply but Hi is just a pet hate

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"I've never heard of these "good messages".....what am I missing?? x"

Maybe not everyone would class them as good haha but I mean personalised to a profile with thought that’s gone into it . Oppose to the majority of one liners people get

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"And I do understand that nobody owes anyone a reply but Hi is just a pet hate

Haha I was waiting for that

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

I only put that much effort in when I'm 99% sure that I'd have a great connection with someone; when I don't get a reply or I get a "No thank you", I'm a little deflated... for a minute or two, then back to browsing. I don't get lucky on here very often but when I do, it's always been worth the wait and disappointment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We often tend to write too much but when we get the three word answers we know it is time to leave and turn the sign to closed.

If someone cannot make an effort with a message then the chances of them making an effort elsewhere is probably about the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just don't reply. Hold out for someone who makes an effort.

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"We often tend to write too much but when we get the three word answers we know it is time to leave and turn the sign to closed.

If someone cannot make an effort with a message then the chances of them making an effort elsewhere is probably about the same. "

Yeah I agree with you . It hasn’t happened recently but a good few times in the past the reply of just Hi . But now as you said I just see it as a time to leave if they can only be arsed to reply with one word

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

"Yep, but it serves as another filter.

If it's someone that doesn't excite me my conversation is terrible. If the replies are shit they just aren't that interested.

Exactly the point I was trying to make

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By *umalotagainMan
over a year ago

a town called malice

I think people have become inherently lazy since the invention of the smart phone

My business works by appointment we book up 3-4 weeks ahead yet due to Google giving you an instant answer people expect to get an instant appointment, same with restaurant bookings. ( and we have all done it) called up on Friday evening trying to get a table and they are full, you get frustrated but you aren’t really frustrated with the restaurant you are frustrated with yourself for not booking earlier

It is a last minute lazy that has been created by the smart phone google and the “instant” answer in your pocket

Hi is just an extension of this

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By *ickeyblueeyes7Man
over a year ago

newport

It’s when they say on their profile that they love to chat so when they do reply and try and get into a conversation all you get is yes and no answers. That’s not chatting

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"It’s when they say on their profile that they love to chat so when they do reply and try and get into a conversation all you get is yes and no answers. That’s not chatting "

Yeah that also happens and people can say maybe there just not interested and that is probably correct but why even bother replying then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined Fab I found it really difficult to say no to men I wasn't interested in even though they seemed nice men. I'm sure I have been guilty of the one word answers.

I learned that it's much better for everyone if I'm just clear at the outset that I'm not interested. And that's quite apparent from this thread that men much prefer to know where they stand.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I think people have become inherently lazy since the invention of the smart phone

It is a last minute lazy that has been created by the smart phone google and the “instant” answer in your pocket

Hi is just an extension of this "

Nail on head.

Hi.

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"When I first joined Fab I found it really difficult to say no to men I wasn't interested in even though they seemed nice men. I'm sure I have been guilty of the one word answers.

I learned that it's much better for everyone if I'm just clear at the outset that I'm not interested. And that's quite apparent from this thread that men much prefer to know where they stand. "

Yeah I get that as in it’s sort of a reply through been polite . But yeah me personally would definitely prefer to know where I stand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I first joined Fab I found it really difficult to say no to men I wasn't interested in even though they seemed nice men. I'm sure I have been guilty of the one word answers.

I learned that it's much better for everyone if I'm just clear at the outset that I'm not interested. And that's quite apparent from this thread that men much prefer to know where they stand.

Yeah I get that as in it’s sort of a reply through been polite . But yeah me personally would definitely prefer to know where I stand "

Women are socialised to be polite and kind. When I first joined Fab I answered EVERY message. I had hundreds. Before I learnt to use filters and ignore my "people pleasing" side. I am pretty brutal now because otherwise men think I'm interested when I'm not and I feel like shit.

And I agree - you should know where you stand and one word messages are crap.

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"When I first joined Fab I found it really difficult to say no to men I wasn't interested in even though they seemed nice men. I'm sure I have been guilty of the one word answers.

I learned that it's much better for everyone if I'm just clear at the outset that I'm not interested. And that's quite apparent from this thread that men much prefer to know where they stand.

Yeah I get that as in it’s sort of a reply through been polite . But yeah me personally would definitely prefer to know where I stand

And I agree - you should know where you stand and one word messages are crap. "

Yeah I would say been a people pleaser on here as a female would take over your life haha .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The key is not to personalise it, then when you get the one word or no response, just copy and paste it to someone else ..

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

The key is not to personalise it, then when you get the one word or no response, just copy and paste it to someone else ..

And then the chances of a reply are even slimmer haha

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By *inky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Be glad you get a reply. Hi is more than nothing.

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

You get replies? Wow

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

You've managed to grab their attention if anything then why not just continue the conversation either rule out what was said before and revert to something else... doesn't bother me nothing much does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/10/23 11:13:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to assume they're having multiple conversations and not enough time to respond as either

1) I'm lower down the order or

2)they're not that into me I'm the option or

3) their conversation skilss are pitiful

Its likely I'll disengage after a couple of messages

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

A mismatch in communication styles is annoying. Some people just aren't very good at writing, and it's like pulling teeth.

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

Be glad you get a reply. Hi is more than nothing."

Im not desperate so I’d rather no reply than a reply that’s taken 1 second

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"A mismatch in communication styles is annoying. Some people just aren't very good at writing, and it's like pulling teeth."

Yeah that could be a thing

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By *hatBeardedChapMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Sadly i've become that person who just sends generic messages, just because of the basic responses if a response is given at all, Time is money as they say.

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By *ipsforlipsMan
over a year ago

Midlands

It doesn't upset me, rather I accept it as "the way things are", for many reasons out of my control.

Getting "hi" as a reply is better than the usual deadspace (non-reply), a "hi" means you have someone's ear, I usually try to open up the conversation, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.

I try to remember we are all different, just because someone doesn't respond as I would, does not mean they are not responding as they feel is best - maybe that well crafted message overwhelmed them, and they don't quite know what to say...? We are all different, so go with the flow (imho)

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

I simply dislike it when I've bothered to write at least 20 sentences and their reply is '' oh right''

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"I simply dislike it when I've bothered to write at least 20 sentences and their reply is '' oh right''"

Yeah that’s what I’m getting at some thought and effort and then you get a 1 seconds worth reply

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I simply dislike it when I've bothered to write at least 20 sentences and their reply is '' oh right''"

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Someone made a form of contact?

Obviously block her. Then call the police.

Don't get laid guys whatever you do lol. pt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I first joined Fab I found it really difficult to say no to men I wasn't interested in even though they seemed nice men. I'm sure I have been guilty of the one word answers.

I learned that it's much better for everyone if I'm just clear at the outset that I'm not interested. And that's quite apparent from this thread that men much prefer to know where they stand.

Yeah I get that as in it’s sort of a reply through been polite . But yeah me personally would definitely prefer to know where I stand

And I agree - you should know where you stand and one word messages are crap.

Yeah I would say been a people pleaser on here as a female would take over your life haha . "

I am Sally and I'm a reformed people pleaser

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

People self-select themselves as unsuitable, so be grateful, as most people are not mutually compatible and it makes your job so much easier when they make it really easy.

Move on. Keep smiling

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"Someone made a form of contact?

Obviously block her. Then call the police.

Don't get laid guys whatever you do lol. pt"

Exactly majority of guys problem on this site think your going to get laid from a Hi

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

May I surgest you buy a copy

Of my latest book.

Its called woman speak

In we cover all the Meaning

of womens words .from hi to hey. we also especially cover the word fine

when they say this its a warning sign.we actuality have chapter on that one

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

Not really. It is what it is. If it's a stranger, that's life. If you are on more familiar, friendly, terms, ask them about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I simply dislike it when I've bothered to write at least 20 sentences and their reply is '' oh right''"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May I surgest you buy a copy

Of my latest book.

Its called woman speak

In we cover all the Meaning

of womens words .from hi to hey. we also especially cover the word fine

when they say this its a warning sign.we actuality have chapter on that one

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"It’s when they say on their profile that they love to chat so when they do reply and try and get into a conversation all you get is yes and no answers. That’s not chatting

Yeah that also happens and people can say maybe there just not interested and that is probably correct but why even bother replying then "

Maybe they were scared that if they don't reply that someone would start a whiney forum thread about them.

1st rule of fab club, you can never win!!

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By *t0600 OP Man
over a year ago

elvedon

"It’s when they say on their profile that they love to chat so when they do reply and try and get into a conversation all you get is yes and no answers. That’s not chatting

Yeah that also happens and people can say maybe there just not interested and that is probably correct but why even bother replying then

Maybe they were scared that if they don't reply that someone would start a whiney forum thread about them.

1st rule of fab club, you can never win!!"

Im totally fine with no reply . I understand that women get countless messages here and can’t

answer most of them . Just the one word reply to a thought out message is what gets me but as you say you can probably never win here

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