FabSwingers.com forum: How you're viewed...

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn’t give a rats arse how strangers view me.

I can give a shit how friends see me.

And if someone I care about views me in a bad way. I care lots.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

If I care about them, I care. Otherwise nah I have no fucks to give

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

I'm not sure it's possible to really know how someone view's you.

It's schrodinger's cat

When I realised that I let it all go.

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

"If I care about them, I care. Otherwise nah I have no fucks to give "

This sums it up nicely

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By *hatBeardedChapMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Entirely depends on my mood

Most the time no buut I have my moments of damn am I that bad

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"If I care about them, I care. Otherwise nah I have no fucks to give

This sums it up nicely"

Yep

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I care how people I like view me, and about how those I have to deal with in my daily life do.

I also care that people don't judge me based on rumours and lies, but it seems that ship has sailed in some cases

I probably care too much about how other people see me, but I know and understand the completely ridiculous logic behind it, so I am OK with that.

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By *ibLeiMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I used to but not anymore. I just try to be the best version of myself - for myself - and whether people subscribe or not, I frankly do not care. Caring about what people think is a losing game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

Yes and no. My looks and outside facial say 12 year old so childish when in reality I'm really a gentleman polite and sensual. But hey each there own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do care.

I care that homophobic and bigoted people see me. So I remind them the world is not theirs.

I care that my friends and family see me. I lost my twin, so I have to occupy his space in my world too.

I care that being fat fem and gay isn’t the living hell it’s meant to be.

I care about personal security and how my work sees me. I’ve been homeless twice, it’s not pleasant. So I care.

But I tell myself I don’t care. Cos that’s an easy and comforting lie to myself.

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

Yes I do. I don’t want others to think I’m being mean/rude to them. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad, intentionally or unintentionally.

This came up the other day for me, I said to someone they come across really rude and I didn’t want to talk to them. They said they didn’t care what people think of them because life is short.

That’s great, go be a twat to someone else then and leave me alone

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

I don't care at all , i couldn't give a f*ck , i am happy with myself that's all it matters

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By *quirtyfun69Couple
over a year ago

Burnley

We do care, but if someone is rude or arrogant we don't bother and move on, especially on here we block too

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

"I care how people I like view me, and about how those I have to deal with in my daily life do.

I also care that people don't judge me based on rumours and lies, but it seems that ship has sailed in some cases

I probably care too much about how other people see me, but I know and understand the completely ridiculous logic behind it, so I am OK with that."

I'm needy. I care how ppl see me. More so if I like them but even those I don't it annoys me if they don't like me

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By *od ThrusterMan
over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

To a degree - Id like people to think I'm friendly and polite for instance, but it doesn't really bother me what they think of my (lack of) dress sense or musical taste.

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By *yreGuy99Man
over a year ago

Somewhere in Moria

I don't care what people think of me. If someone judges me without getting to know me, they were never worth my time in the beginning.

If you take something I say the wrong way. That's your problem.

That's just my view

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have learned that I am me.

Like me. Don’t like me. I won’t change me. Done that before. Doesn’t work

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

I don't care

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By *inger_the_NinjaMan
over a year ago

Frome

I constantly battle with it. Very low self esteem really and this has only happened in the last few years. I never used to care but I find socialising crippling. I always worry about how other people see me and am just so cautious as a response. It's tiring and illogical, I'd love not to care again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do and I don't care. Be nice to find a regular play mate x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 02/10/23 15:19:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've learnt to care less as I've got older, especially when it comes to others opinions. There's a big difference between people who know you and people who know of you. It's only the people who truly know you that have the right to form an opinion, everyone else's opinion? None of my business.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

Presumably on their mobile phone

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Yes, I care.

I obviously place more store on how people I care about view me than a stranger, but in general, would also like strangers to think I'm a decent human being, so try my best to be one.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Not caring how others view you isn't carte blanche to behave badly in my opinion.

I have no influence on how other people see me because they're looking through the lens of their experience. Earlier someone said they don't like Judi Dench because she looks like a step relative who was horrible. Dame Judi would be daft to care about that because she has no control over it

I do care how people I love and like see me but other than that I think as long as I behave in a decent way towards people I'm happy and I not bothered what people think of me.

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By *ovebunny70Woman
over a year ago

portsmouth

I care and think it holds me back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I …

But I tell myself I don’t care. Cos that’s an easy and comforting lie to myself. "

Don’t we all sometimes. I’ve always read and like reading your posts. I’m

Just putting it here that I reckon we’d have got along if we ever have met up.

Even if you don’t like my rainbows.

*I remember that type of stuff.

*woody offers a fist bump.

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By *heonixrising500Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

If I am liked very good if not never mind

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I worked with a woman who cared deeply what everyone thought of her. I used to get texts late at night from her explaining at length a comment she'd made, I'd usually forgotten all about it and certainly didn't think worse of her for whatever it was.

Oddly she held some awful views which she expressed freely but never thought there was anything wrong with that.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

People that I know intimately and have a relationship with yes.

It's partly logical. If someone doesn't know me well then they aren't really in the best place to judge me.

Gossip? General opinion. Infamy Infamy they've all got it in for me.

It's not that I do not care at all. I am just of a firm belief that trying to please everyone is both impossible and recipe for psychological distress. Well it's a diagnostic criteria for several personality disorders. It's healthy to have an internal locus of evaluation.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I used too. But not any more. If people think well of me, then they communicate positively with me, if not not, I’m not going to worry too much. I’m not perfect, no one is and sometimes personalities clash and mistruths are told, it can’t be controlled so should be forgotten

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I don't like it when people think I'm a giant dildo no Meli.

I mean each to their own but I do think some people don't get when I'm just being the class clown here which is fun to do to spice it up from the usual doom and gloom you know?

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"If I care about them, I care. Otherwise nah I have no fucks to give "

Yep. This

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Aren't we all just pieces of meat on here?

LvM

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I like to be liked but I don't go out of my way to curry favour.

Like others have said, the opinions of strangers mean nothing to me and I only value those from people who actually know me.

I'm well aware that I'm fab marmite and I'm ok with that.

People obviously dislike me because I don't bend the knee on here but those that take the time to compliment me claim that being my own man and not blowing smoke is what they find most attractive.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

The older I get, the fewer fucks I give.

What I do care about is being misrepresented. If people don't like me for me, that's fine, but if they don't like me cos of some made up shit? That bothers me.

It's pretty pointless, though, because I can't be in charge of that.

What about you, OP?

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The older I get, the fewer fucks I give.

What I do care about is being misrepresented. If people don't like me for me, that's fine, but if they don't like me cos of some made up shit? That bothers me.

It's pretty pointless, though, because I can't be in charge of that.

What about you, OP?

Mrs TMN x

Why did I not buy you a drink? I need to remember this type of shit.

*barman, get that girl a drink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a word.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"The older I get, the fewer fucks I give.

What I do care about is being misrepresented. If people don't like me for me, that's fine, but if they don't like me cos of some made up shit? That bothers me.

It's pretty pointless, though, because I can't be in charge of that.

What about you, OP?

Mrs TMN x

Why did I not buy you a drink? I need to remember this type of shit.

*barman, get that girl a drink.

I don't know, Woody. I don't know. X

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

People who dont know me...no.

People who do...no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope.

Don’t waste my energy or give it any of my headspace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The folks who say they don’t care…how true is that really? After all, it’s fab. Surely everyone cares how they are viewed on here to sone degree?

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I like to be liked. But I don't lose sleep over it if I'm not.

At work I think a lot of people think I wander around doing nothing. That's not the case and I wish they understood all of the aspects of my varied job. Again, I don't lose sleep over it but it would be good to be valued rather than wrongly judged.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The folks who say they don’t care…how true is that really? After all, it’s fab. Surely everyone cares how they are viewed on here to sone degree? "

100% true. We present ourselves a certain way. After that we can't influence how people see us.

That doesn't mean we think it gives us free rein to behave like idiots just that we know some people will like us, some won't and some will be indifferent.

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By *entlemenpipMan
over a year ago

not far

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

I care about my appearance and my hygiene as what people think of me no like.me.for.me who I am and what I am if not go fuck yourself

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"The folks who say they don’t care…how true is that really? After all, it’s fab. Surely everyone cares how they are viewed on here to sone degree? "

If you’re a horrible person maybe you would. I’m a nice person, I’m not mean, I don’t gossip etc. I just get on with my thing. So if people don’t like me I really don’t care why as I’ve not done anything wrong apart from maybe disagree or have different views.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I'm not sure it's possible to really know how someone view's you.

It's schrodinger's cat

When I realised that I let it all go."

How is it Schrödinger's cat? I'm curious about that reference in context to this.

I don't think we ever know how someone views us truly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never have cared never will

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I care how people I like view me, and about how those I have to deal with in my daily life do.

I also care that people don't judge me based on rumours and lies, but it seems that ship has sailed in some cases

I probably care too much about how other people see me, but I know and understand the completely ridiculous logic behind it, so I am OK with that."

Ah fuck it if the ship has sailed in those cases. This thread is going to be a rather sweary one and I didn't think it would be.

If people judge you on those things? That's a them problem, not yours

You're aware of how you think/feel about it and you know why. That's all there needs to be really.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I don't give a damn about how the majority of people view me.

If I do something that affects someone I care about negatively, that's when it's an issue.

Otherwise, fuck what other people think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The folks who say they don’t care…how true is that really? After all, it’s fab. Surely everyone cares how they are viewed on here to sone degree? "

Very true in my case.

I don’t think I’m a twat our owt like that. I reckon im a decent enough chap. People will either like me or they’ll think I’m a dickhead. I can’t control that so why do I need to care? It’s a waste of my energy.

I’m not changing to fit in with the crowd, or to gain another’s affections.

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

Unfortunately I’ve put too great a thing on how people view me and it’s lead to myself basically punishing myself and stopping myself from doing what I want…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The folks who say they don’t care…how true is that really? After all, it’s fab. Surely everyone cares how they are viewed on here to sone degree? "

Very true.

Those I talk to don't know me, they only know what I choose to share. I don't put much thought into what they actually think of me as I'm aware they only want to fuck me anyway.

The ones I don't talk to, well most are up their own arse to even realise other people exist on here. The rest are just (insert word I can't here)

So yeah, I don't care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care how strangers view me. I don't care how anyone views me except my daughter and her children.

It matters very much what they think of me, i love them and care for them and i always want them to think good of me

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Only really care how those I'm interested in view me. For every one else, I don't like being despised but I don't think I inspire such strong feelings.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

I’m intrigued more than I’d say I cared. The interesting thing about views and opinions imo is that they say more about the person who holds the view than the person it’s about.

What I mean by that is I remember reading something which basically said that we each individually exist 1000s of times over in the minds of others based on their own ideals and perceptions of right, wrong, funny, kind etc with that in mind and you’re always gonna have more negative perceptions than positive ones

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"The folks who say they don’t care…how true is that really? After all, it’s fab. Surely everyone cares how they are viewed on here to sone degree? "

Starting out here years ago I may have cared how others saw me but I wasn't using the forums back then so it was only every one to one chats.

As time as gone on and I've witnessed first hand the blatant lies, myths and legends created by some people in the hope of being liked or venerated I've come to see how shallow certain individuals really are and I don't want anything to do with that world.

I don't post pics for fabs, which is lucky based on how few I get and I will go out of my way to avoid popularity contests.

I genuinely don't lose any sleep over how people I've never met view me because those opinions are either based solely on my ramblings on here or they are opinions given to them by their friendly neighbourhood influencer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't care how strangers view me. I don't care how anyone views me except my daughter and her children.

It matters very much what they think of me, i love them and care for them and i always want them to think good of me

I think i'm invisible to most people anyway, i seem to fade into the background so no one would be thinking about me at all.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I do care.

I care that homophobic and bigoted people see me. So I remind them the world is not theirs.

I care that my friends and family see me. I lost my twin, so I have to occupy his space in my world too.

I care that being fat fem and gay isn’t the living hell it’s meant to be.

I care about personal security and how my work sees me. I’ve been homeless twice, it’s not pleasant. So I care.

But I tell myself I don’t care. Cos that’s an easy and comforting lie to myself. "

I really appreciate the authenticity and openness. If you've had personal experience of negativity, lived experience of certain things than you're more likely to care because you have been or could be potentially affected by it.

When you say you don't care, full on blanket ban for caring it is an easier lie. It's easier than saying this is how I actually feel. I don't think caring is always the negative depiction that's used. There can be a lot of positivity in caring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I care how others see me. I'm not arrogant enough to not give a fuck. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not but I like to present myself as the best version of me. If that makes sense.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

If somebody views me negatively because of something I have done wrong and should have known better then I care. If somebody views me negatively and we have no interaction, I'm not bothered. Luke

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"I care how others see me. I'm not arrogant enough to not give a fuck. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not but I like to present myself as the best version of me. If that makes sense. "

It doesnt hurt at all that you are awesome and sexy as sin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I care how others see me. I'm not arrogant enough to not give a fuck. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not but I like to present myself as the best version of me. If that makes sense. "

I wouldn't say not caring makes you arrogant.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Those I talk to don't know me, they only know what I choose to share. I don't put much thought into what they actually think of me as I'm aware they only want to fuck me anyway."

That’s not true. I also want to get riotously d*unk with you in a tiki bar and criticise complete strangers together from the safety of a booth in the corner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I care how others see me. I'm not arrogant enough to not give a fuck. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not but I like to present myself as the best version of me. If that makes sense.

It doesnt hurt at all that you are awesome and sexy as sin"

thank you beautiful lady x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are those that value their worth by the number of social media followers, likes on their Instagram posts or Fabs on their photos.

Their entire self worth determined by what image they’re portraying and how they’re perceived by strangers.

Me? Meh. Just send boobs and vulva to my inbox. That’s enough to keep me happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I care how others see me. I'm not arrogant enough to not give a fuck. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not but I like to present myself as the best version of me. If that makes sense.

I wouldn't say not caring makes you arrogant. "

Then we disagree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those I talk to don't know me, they only know what I choose to share. I don't put much thought into what they actually think of me as I'm aware they only want to fuck me anyway.

That’s not true. I also want to get riotously d*unk with you in a tiki bar and criticise complete strangers together from the safety of a booth in the corner."

Then have sex?

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"I care how others see me. I'm not arrogant enough to not give a fuck. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not but I like to present myself as the best version of me. If that makes sense.

It doesnt hurt at all that you are awesome and sexy as sin

thank you beautiful lady x"

Welcome muchly (mwah)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely do care how others view me...but i can accept we are all different and not every one can or will like me!

How i view myself somedays can be concerning too tbh

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

I don't care, I know myself and my heart and those who are for me will see it too.

If too much time is spent caring what others think then life is not your own, it becomes their life.

The most important thing is to know a person's intentions and know that not everyone has a vendetta or hidden agenda. Inner peace is very important because life has some extremely bitter people in it

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Those I talk to don't know me, they only know what I choose to share. I don't put much thought into what they actually think of me as I'm aware they only want to fuck me anyway.

That’s not true. I also want to get riotously d*unk with you in a tiki bar and criticise complete strangers together from the safety of a booth in the corner."

I want to do that with her too!

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Never have, not going to start now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those I talk to don't know me, they only know what I choose to share. I don't put much thought into what they actually think of me as I'm aware they only want to fuck me anyway.

That’s not true. I also want to get riotously d*unk with you in a tiki bar and criticise complete strangers together from the safety of a booth in the corner.

I want to do that with her too!"

Ladies first

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Those I talk to don't know me, they only know what I choose to share. I don't put much thought into what they actually think of me as I'm aware they only want to fuck me anyway.

That’s not true. I also want to get riotously d*unk with you in a tiki bar and criticise complete strangers together from the safety of a booth in the corner.

I want to do that with her too!

Ladies first

You know it makes sense

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

"I care how others see me. I'm not arrogant enough to not give a fuck. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not but I like to present myself as the best version of me. If that makes sense. "

You’re pretty arrogant tbf

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

On here with lots of strangers, with my sense of humour with people who don't really know me I care less. One differing view, support a different political party, have a laugh about midgets and suddenly you can piss people off. Then the White Knights gallop in with their shiny lance's to have a prod when in real life they couldn't lift one.

People I care about. I don't need to worry about as that's covered.

I guess anyone who is on the side of the midgets can block me or write some notes on me!

I like midget gems if that counts btw.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a very select few who's opinion matters to me.

They know who they are. Everyone else, nah thanks. But hey keep thinking you matter.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

I never think about it, and I never conduct myself in a different manner to be liked by others.

I just am. Take it or leave either way I’ll only ignore you anyway and talk to you when I remember to.

The mr

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Ladies first

You know it makes sense

I’m fine with that. Away and have fun, ladies.

Call me when you want the sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I care how others see me. I'm not arrogant enough to not give a fuck. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not but I like to present myself as the best version of me. If that makes sense.

You’re pretty arrogant tbf

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By *r SxxMan
over a year ago

ashford

Unfortunately I do, too much

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

These days no

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Believe it or not I care.

Not about how I look, or if I’m popular or any of that malarkey.

I do care that people know that I’m big hearted beneath it all. And that *I* care. Might be a bit sappy, but there it is.

Caveat - the bitches & bastards who just don’t like me for whatever agenda they have… that I don’t give two hoots about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I care about them, I care. Otherwise nah I have no fucks to give

This sums it up nicely"

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Believe it or not I care.

Not about how I look, or if I’m popular or any of that malarkey.

I do care that people know that I’m big hearted beneath it all. And that *I* care. Might be a bit sappy, but there it is.

Caveat - the bitches & bastards who just don’t like me for whatever agenda they have… that I don’t give two hoots about

Sap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I probably care a lot more than I should. It's easy to say that I am the way I am and people can like it or lump it but I've always thought that if I'm in the company of that person regularly then I need to make the best impression.

Similarly on here when I started out, I didn't want to make any big or bold statements that rubbed anyone the wrong way but I've gotten better at dealing with that the more time I've spent on here.

I've rambled a bit so TIL: Yes, I do care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I care about how others view me. I don’t want them to think I’m a horrible person. Even if I don’t like them. It’s still kinda crippling but it’s got better with, yep, you guessed it- Therapy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I probably care a lot more than I should. It's easy to say that I am the way I am and people can like it or lump it but I've always thought that if I'm in the company of that person regularly then I need to make the best impression.

Similarly on here when I started out, I didn't want to make any big or bold statements that rubbed anyone the wrong way but I've gotten better at dealing with that the more time I've spent on here.

I've rambled a bit so TIL: Yes, I do care"

Aw I think its different if its people your in the company with regularly but then get to know the real you and they can either like that or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Similarly on here when I started out, I didn't want to make any big or bold statements that rubbed anyone the wrong way but I've gotten better at dealing with that the more time I've spent on here.

I've rambled a bit so TIL: Yes, I do care

Aw I think its different if its people your in the company with regularly but then get to know the real you and they can either like that or not."

That's generally how approach it. Start off nice and inoffensive and then slowly introduce parts of my personality so they're already used to me like a boiling frog

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By *umalotagainMan
over a year ago

a town called malice

What you see is what you get including the high level of sarcasm

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

People’s opinions about you are just that, their opinion.

If it’s a random on here then they don’t know me anyway so I couldn’t care less.

If it’s a friend then I would care more what they thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Similarly on here when I started out, I didn't want to make any big or bold statements that rubbed anyone the wrong way but I've gotten better at dealing with that the more time I've spent on here.

I've rambled a bit so TIL: Yes, I do care

Aw I think its different if its people your in the company with regularly but then get to know the real you and they can either like that or not.

That's generally how approach it. Start off nice and inoffensive and then slowly introduce parts of my personality so they're already used to me like a boiling frog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like a few others, I care more than I should. Even about strangers' opinion of me. I'm trying to accept that if I want to speak up, some people won't like me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Similarly on here when I started out, I didn't want to make any big or bold statements that rubbed anyone the wrong way but I've gotten better at dealing with that the more time I've spent on here.

I've rambled a bit so TIL: Yes, I do care

Aw I think its different if its people your in the company with regularly but then get to know the real you and they can either like that or not.

That's generally how approach it. Start off nice and inoffensive and then slowly introduce parts of my personality so they're already used to me like a boiling frog

It's pretty sociopathic, right?

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Similarly on here when I started out, I didn't want to make any big or bold statements that rubbed anyone the wrong way but I've gotten better at dealing with that the more time I've spent on here.

I've rambled a bit so TIL: Yes, I do care

Aw I think its different if its people your in the company with regularly but then get to know the real you and they can either like that or not.

That's generally how approach it. Start off nice and inoffensive and then slowly introduce parts of my personality so they're already used to me like a boiling frog

What if I like boiling frogs?? Lol

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Yes I do. I don’t want others to think I’m being mean/rude to them. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad, intentionally or unintentionally.

This came up the other day for me, I said to someone they come across really rude and I didn’t want to talk to them. They said they didn’t care what people think of them because life is short.

That’s great, go be a twat to someone else then and leave me alone

And that's not weird. Or a sign of you being needy or wanting everyone to like you. Not wanting to hurt others is a good way of being, in my mind at least.

Yes. If you don't care and they don't want to talk to you? Go twat it up without you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Similarly on here when I started out, I didn't want to make any big or bold statements that rubbed anyone the wrong way but I've gotten better at dealing with that the more time I've spent on here.

I've rambled a bit so TIL: Yes, I do care

Aw I think its different if its people your in the company with regularly but then get to know the real you and they can either like that or not.

That's generally how approach it. Start off nice and inoffensive and then slowly introduce parts of my personality so they're already used to me like a boiling frog

It's pretty sociopathic, right? "

I'm rereading your messages for clues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

I don't generally give a fuck what people think, I was singing 'lets go fly a kite' at the top of my lungs, arms raised and wide on the school run. The kids thought I was mental, I couldn't have cared less. They wouldn't stop bickering, they wouldn't listen to me so I did that, they soon stopped their bickering to 'stop mam, your embarrassing.' It worked lol

So yes, think what you want, I don't care.

But I do care about honesty. That's the only time I care, I tend to overshare as I want to make sure people know what I say is real. Although biased by my opinion, or how I felt at the time, I do try to be upfront.

But I know I need to think of others and how it may affect them if what I am saying includes them too. Thats a learning progress *shrugs*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

I generally give zero fucks as it relates to being viewed on her ...in life I only care as it relates to my career/job.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Similarly on here when I started out, I didn't want to make any big or bold statements that rubbed anyone the wrong way but I've gotten better at dealing with that the more time I've spent on here.

I've rambled a bit so TIL: Yes, I do care

Aw I think its different if its people your in the company with regularly but then get to know the real you and they can either like that or not.

That's generally how approach it. Start off nice and inoffensive and then slowly introduce parts of my personality so they're already used to me like a boiling frog

What if I like boiling frogs?? Lol"

Just not bunnies or hedgehogs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are far to long in the tooth to care how other people view us.

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

Don't really care what anyone thinks

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

I care that I come across exactly how I intend to. If somebody doesn't like that, because let's face it one person may think I'm amazing while another thinks I'm a twunt, then it's no point worrying over. By being one thing, you are going to turn others off you.

I'll be me, I won't try to be somebody else to please anyone. I'll worry about doing things how I want to project myself, not how others choose to see/view/take it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to be liked but I won't lose sleep over it if you don't like me

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Don't really think about. How do you know why they viewed you anyway? However it is interesting (and sometimes disconcerting) when someone veiwed you:

5 mins ago

20 mins ago

35 mins ago

55 mins ago

1hr ago

2 hrs ago

4 hrs ago

7 hrs ago

Yesterday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I care that I come across exactly how I intend to. If somebody doesn't like that, because let's face it one person may think I'm amazing while another thinks I'm a twunt, then it's no point worrying over. By being one thing, you are going to turn others off you.

I'll be me, I won't try to be somebody else to please anyone. I'll worry about doing things how I want to project myself, not how others choose to see/view/take it. "

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Don't care unless in a relationship

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Don't really think about. How do you know why they viewed you anyway? However it is interesting (and sometimes disconcerting) when someone veiwed you:

5 mins ago

20 mins ago

35 mins ago

55 mins ago

1hr ago

2 hrs ago

4 hrs ago

7 hrs ago

Yesterday "

This answer.

Brilliant. Thank you. x

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By *heelerMan
over a year ago

Northants

Dont even think about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I care to an extent but I care more about what the people who really know me think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I …

But I tell myself I don’t care. Cos that’s an easy and comforting lie to myself.

Don’t we all sometimes. I’ve always read and like reading your posts. I’m

Just putting it here that I reckon we’d have got along if we ever have met up.

Even if you don’t like my rainbows.

*I remember that type of stuff.

*woody offers a fist bump. "

I like rainbows. Even been known to appreciate a fist bump occasionally

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I don't give a monkeys. No-one views me anyway

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Similarly on here when I started out, I didn't want to make any big or bold statements that rubbed anyone the wrong way but I've gotten better at dealing with that the more time I've spent on here.

I've rambled a bit so TIL: Yes, I do care

Aw I think its different if its people your in the company with regularly but then get to know the real you and they can either like that or not.

That's generally how approach it. Start off nice and inoffensive and then slowly introduce parts of my personality so they're already used to me like a boiling frog

What if I like boiling frogs?? Lol

Just not bunnies or hedgehogs."

No definitely no bunnies or hedgehogs x

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I don’t mind at all Meli. It really is up to them to make their own mind up about me. The only exception is when they make their own mind up about me without getting to know me… then that’s really just silly behaviour. Still doesn’t bother me either way though

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "
I don't care about most things. However if someone thinks I'm something I'm most definitely not..then it bothers me

Things like if someone thinks I could do something against my moral code.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

I used to care but being an outsider when I was young due to being deaf and mixed race and getting peoples prejudices for a lifetime means I really don't care anymore.

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By *ake_or_deathMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I wish I didn't, but I do. A lot. I can't help it. If I accidentally upset or annoy someone I hardly know I get down about it.

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By *estinyIsAllCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I only care about what my other half thinks, everyone else can literally sod off.

D x

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I care too much.

But I’m content in who I am and how I behave so it’s not something I dwell on unless it’s shoved in front of me.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I care too much.

But I’m content in who I am and how I behave so it’s not something I dwell on unless it’s shoved in front of me. "

Twonk

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"I care too much.

But I’m content in who I am and how I behave so it’s not something I dwell on unless it’s shoved in front of me.

Twonk

I support this statement

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"I care too much.

But I’m content in who I am and how I behave so it’s not something I dwell on unless it’s shoved in front of me.

Twonk

I support this statement "

You clearly missed me.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I care too much.

But I’m content in who I am and how I behave so it’s not something I dwell on unless it’s shoved in front of me.

Twonk

I support this statement

You clearly missed me.

He was crying in my inbox over you Every Damn Day

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

The only time we were bothered was when someone described us as unapproachable..

something that we’ve never considered ourselves and have worked hard to be friendly and fun.

We’re hardly “10’s” and consider ourselves normal.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

No fucks given to how strangers view us. We care about how our close friends and family view us though.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'm actually past caring, no one truly knows the real me.

You either like me or you don't.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Nope doesn't bother me i guess I'm here to be viewed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not fussed what others think..

I wouldn't say anything on here I wouldn't say in real life,

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By *ieselJuiceMan
over a year ago

Stratford

I only care about what my immediate family think of me. Everyone else, can go fuck their mothers

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By *ackson1989Man
over a year ago

London

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Past caring.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

On here I really don't care...why would I give any thought to what some strangers opinion/s of me are???

I do care about the opinions of people that know me, I know they will give it honestly x

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By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We care about what we think of eachother, all that matters to us.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Probably more than I should, but it is what it is, if someone forms an opinion on me without truly knowing me then there's nothing I can do about that, as much as I try not to care.

Tinder

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

Genuinely couldn't give a f... used to care when I was younger like always wanted be part of the in crowd since I became older and a very little wiser the opinions of people meant less and less to me view me however you wish

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By *andadbodMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

you can’t control what others think of you, so pointless caring about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm human, so of course I do. I care very much about how certain people view me but less about the opinions of others.

We all want to be liked, valued, respected and loved in some ways. Some of us more than others of course.

I don't try to be someone I'm not to win approval, at least I hope I don't anymore.

My circle in the real world is actually quite small and we all love each other fiercely.

When it comes to work then I hope I'm liked but mostly I hope my knowledge, experience and skills are valued.

When it comes to fab there are only a very small number of people who's opinion of me I care about.

I hope those people like me and are genuine in that. I think they are and I really care about them. Time is a precious resource for us all so I never want to be a regret.

I'm afraid the rest are strangers on the internet. Sure, I hope most think I'm likeable but there's no relationships there.

Ultimately my days of people pleasing are over. I want genuine connections and I'm working much harder at liking myself more too. It's only now I realise just how important that is.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Yes I care what everyone thinks about me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think for most of us its impossible to not be at least a little bothered by this from time to time. Im conscious I will be viewed very differently by my oldest friends, family to how I am viewed in work, by vanilla dates and places like this.

All the versions of me are authentically me but sometimes I do wince at how I might come across particularly here.

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By *exymarvelMan
over a year ago

cardiff

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

Just be you, we are all different. No point in hiding who u really are and what your wants are. If you click with someone then its good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I guess I do care to a certain degree. But it mostly applies to people I know. If someone I do not know doesn't like me then it isn't really going to bother me that much.

Years ago I would have been so upset if someone viewed me in a negative light but I'm past that now thank fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I want to comment on this honestly because right now I think there's an awful lot of people that think I'm a total arsehole on here.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Our next door neighbour doesn't like me, a woman round the corner has taken one comment I made and run with it to assume that I care full time for an invalid husband, another person dislikes me because I went to her house for coffee once early in the year and for various reasons haven't been again. How would me caring about any of this help? I think all it would do would be to make me unhappy , doubt myself and make me chase after people trying to change their opinion of me.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

"If I care about them, I care. Otherwise nah I have no fucks to give "

This.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I do care however I don’t change who I am to curry a favourable opinion of me.

Ultimately though I’d rather people considered me a nice fellow rather than the cuntybollocks I really am.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I do care however I don’t change who I am to curry a favourable opinion of me.

Ultimately though I’d rather people considered me a nice fellow rather than the cuntybollocks I really am. "

I think most people would rather be held in high esteem. If you're realistic though you know it isn't possible and accept that.

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By *othianGuy41Man
over a year ago

Eureka

I always say be yourself be honest, don't chase friendship. If someone doesn't like you for you being yourself then it's their loss! Who cares What others think, just always be yourself!

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Our next door neighbour doesn't like me, a woman round the corner has taken one comment I made and run with it to assume that I care full time for an invalid husband, another person dislikes me because I went to her house for coffee once early in the year and for various reasons haven't been again. How would me caring about any of this help? I think all it would do would be to make me unhappy , doubt myself and make me chase after people trying to change their opinion of me. "

I think that's it really.

If you spend so long worrying about assumptions, about various things you can't change, you lose sight of yourself. No one should change to please another.

It can be easy to be swept into the "oh fuck, they don't like me" but it doesn't really serve you. It can be hurtful sometimes but it's so much better to just carry on. Unless you've been a utter twonk of course.

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By *Booboo-Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

People I don't know, or don't care about - don't care

People that are important to me - do care

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that's it really.

If you spend so long worrying about assumptions, about various things you can't change, you lose sight of yourself. No one should change to please another.

Oh if I've been an utter twonk I'll acknowledge that, feel bad and apologise. The odds are that the person still won't like me though

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

I think that's it really.

If you spend so long worrying about assumptions, about various things you can't change, you lose sight of yourself. No one should change to please another.

Oh if I've been an utter twonk I'll acknowledge that, feel bad and apologise. The odds are that the person still won't like me though

Very possibly.

Fuck it though, you would have been true to yourself, done the right thing and that's the most important thing.

I don't think people are weird for caring or not caring what others think of them. Obviously there's extremes but generally there's not one best way to get through life.

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By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I do care yes.

But more worryingly, I care far too much about other people. I'm always feeling for them, and caring that they're happy.

I'm told a lot of times to start thinking of myself a bit more!! Lol

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By *raigxMan
over a year ago

Northampton

What he said

But realise not everyone is going to like you. Everyone has different tastes

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Yes of course I do care, because I'm a big soft lump. And that's ok, I deal with it pretty well these days.

I doubt most would be a tad upset if they heard that someone said something mean about them even if they didn't like them. Feelings are ok, it's how you deal with them that's important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

No Op I do not have any insecurities. Do you care how people view you?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

On here I don't give two fucks how I'm viewed, why would I care about people, who the vast majority I'll never meet.

In real life it all depends who you are, but then I know those who matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that's it really.

If you spend so long worrying about assumptions, about various things you can't change, you lose sight of yourself. No one should change to please another.

Oh if I've been an utter twonk I'll acknowledge that, feel bad and apologise. The odds are that the person still won't like me though

Very possibly.

Fuck it though, you would have been true to yourself, done the right thing and that's the most important thing.

I don't think people are weird for caring or not caring what others think of them. Obviously there's extremes but generally there's not one best way to get through life. "

Exactly. Everyone is different

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By *oneybee1001Woman
over a year ago

Around and about

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you? "

Nope, others folks opinion of me is none of my business, I know what I'm about. I'm not a judgement person or make nasty comments about people so all good.

I ignore rumours and gossipy nonsense it just comes back to someones opinion - which is none of my business lol!

I send peace and love out to all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if I care for those people otherwise:

"If your absence doesn't bother them then your presence never mattered to them in the first place"

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By *ade crossTV/TS
over a year ago

chiselhurst

I am who i am if you dont like thats fine.

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

I used to care and try and be what I thought people wanted but nowadays I couldn't give a flying fuck lol

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Do you care how others view you? Is it something you think about or do you... not care?

When do you care about how someone views you?

No Op I do not have any insecurities. Do you care how people view you? "

Those I care about yes. Generally I don't want to be seen as a twunt but I can't fix another's perception of me. It's also a drain worrying about me. I don't think it's an insecurity to care about how people view you. It depends on the extent to which you care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a real problem with body dysphoria and I certainly care how people view from a physical stand point.

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

"I don't think I want to comment on this honestly because right now I think there's an awful lot of people that think I'm a total arsehole on here.

That's pretty harsh

I think you're one of the good ones

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