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"I got called a tory chavy bastard earlier today for saying no thanks. That tickled me." I’d be most insulted by the Tory element of that tbh. Good to see members of my sex are taking rejection with their usual maturity and good grace though. We’re classy animals | |||
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"I remb I met a guy on here and he said to me I wouldn't be here with you if I was getting it at home .. i was like ya cheeky fucker and I went home lol " Surprised you didn’t chin him first | |||
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"Just made this up Re crocodile Dundee. That's not a cock THIS IS A COCK" No, nope, no meat sword fencing in the forums lol | |||
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"I've always liked "There must be a village missing it's idiot tonight"." yep it thats quite popular where I live | |||
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"I remb I met a guy on here and he said to me I wouldn't be here with you if I was getting it at home .. i was like ya cheeky fucker and I went home lol Surprised you didn’t chin him first I'm only 5ft lol I should had kneed him in the balls " Maybe give him a harsh wank using chilli oil as lube | |||
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"I remb I met a guy on here and he said to me I wouldn't be here with you if I was getting it at home .. i was like ya cheeky fucker and I went home lol Surprised you didn’t chin him first I'm only 5ft lol I should had kneed him in the balls Maybe give him a harsh wank using chilli oil as lube " Lol love it .. don't chat to him anymore, but I'll keep that in mind | |||
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"‘What I call bog roll you call mind wipe’ " That’s a new one for me. Nice | |||
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"‘You are proof that anal sex leads to pregnancy’ " Wow, that’s a nuclear level burn lol | |||
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"Has a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle" Ooof! | |||
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"“Ye maa sells fidget spinners outside Primark”" Lol | |||
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"A sniper wouldn't take her out " Lol | |||
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"I have two favourites. 1) You expired jar of mayonnaise. 2) whos this clown? (Implying a, you're a clown, and b, not even a well known clown!)" Second one is genius | |||
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"I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you..." Lol | |||
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"Wank puffin had me on the floor laughing " Pmsl love it | |||
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"I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you..." Love it | |||
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"I'vr only been pissed off by 2 people before ,and you have been both of them" Oof! | |||
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"I'd explain it to you, but it would be like trying to explain Norway to a dog" Nice | |||
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"Has a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle Ooof!" This can be adapted depending on said person to; Has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp | |||
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"If you was a spice, you'd be flour" | |||
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"My female airborne instructor asked us females before our first jump if we were wearing a tampon or a pad. We asked why. She stated so we don't whistle on the way down. " Lol snortled at this one | |||
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"You stay at the far end of the yard all week and l will stay at this end and we will get on great." Sounds diplomatic | |||
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"Someday you'll go far - i hope you stay there! " | |||
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"- I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you - I'm glad you think highly of yourself. Someone has to " | |||
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"Cockwomble" One of my favourite words | |||
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"Cockwomble" My favourite insult. | |||
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"I'm now reminded of a lovely old guy I worked with,a gentle soul..another worker (blonde bombshell),but a bunny boiler, said 'you're undressing me with your eyes ',He replied 'f..k off, you're ugly enough with your clothes on '." Scorchio | |||
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"You're 10lb of shit in a 5lb bag. I've got one asshole in my pants so don't need another." Harsh but brilliant | |||
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"Looks like she run a marathon behind a gritter Face like you've been bobbing for aapples in a deep fat fryer " Brutal | |||
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"My best mate gave me the best insult I've ever heard and I laughed harder than I've done in years. My daughter was there and it left her shocked and confused. I'm a naturist and have a hot tub I use naked. My mate isn't open like me and it bothers him to see me naked. This particular night I was going to use the hot tub but my mate came over. My daughter sat with us and said, I thought you were using the tub tonight Dad. I said not yet, Paul doesn't like to see me clothed off. To which Paul shuck his head and sighed. There was a pause and a silence, and then, with a straight face my best friend in the world said, a though just thinking out loud, "who know, couple of year, if I let myself go, ...maybe I could look like that." I nearly fell off my chair laughing, whilst my daughter, a woke millennial, sat there looking shocked. " Lol that’s what best mates are for | |||
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"Your wife’s a hairy biker " Ouch! | |||
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"As much use as a marzipan dildo. Is one of my favourite insults. " Lol. But has anyone done the research? | |||
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"As thick as a whale omelette. What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Whale omelette lol. Now I’m trying to remember where I heard the second one | |||
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"You're about as much use as Anne Frank's drumkit." | |||
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"who left the bag of idiots open?" Both fab | |||
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"As much use as a marzipan dildo. Is one of my favourite insults. Lol. But has anyone done the research? " Sydney University. | |||
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"You dress like an E*cort so you deserve to be treated like one.... From a middle aged chip on shoulder excuse of a Man " Knee to groin moment? | |||
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"As much use as a marzipan dildo. Is one of my favourite insults. Lol. But has anyone done the research? Sydney University. " Lol bloody Aussies get everywhere | |||
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"You Cunting Fuckhole.. I seem to say it a lot.. Luckily it's only at NPC's on video games lol. You festering tit. Snaggletoothed witch. Trawling Accident. Son of a Donkeys bottom biter. A few of the many." Quite a broad and impressive repertoire | |||
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"If brains were birdshit you would have a very clean cage...." Tweet lol | |||
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"He thinks Cheerios are doughnut seeds." They’re not? Lol | |||
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"I like this one. Why am I even talking to you, you are a Neanderthal." Apparently they still do live amongst us lol | |||
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""You're as much use as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest" "You're going round in circles like a one-legged duck in a whirlpool"" Good for work environment | |||
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"You Cunting Fuckhole.. I seem to say it a lot.. Luckily it's only at NPC's on video games lol. You festering tit. Snaggletoothed witch. Trawling Accident. Son of a Donkeys bottom biter. A few of the many. Quite a broad and impressive repertoire " | |||
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"Your so old the only furniture you should be looking at are ones with a lid." Oooft! | |||
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"“ I’d love to have a battle of wits with you, but I refuse to fight against someone whose unarmed” " Clever I like it | |||
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"If wit were shit you'd be constipated " Lol | |||
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"If I ordered a truck load of idiots and all I got was you, I’d have got my moneys worth " Lol | |||
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"You dress like an E*cort so you deserve to be treated like one.... From a middle aged chip on shoulder excuse of a Man " I always treat €scorts nicely, | |||
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"If I looked like you I’d shave my arse and walk on my hands" Harsh but funny lol | |||
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"Said to me as a fat reference after a "no thank you message" but did make me chuckle - "I thought you people were meant to be jolly"" Spiteful , and irrelevant from looking at your pics | |||
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"Said to me as a fat reference after a "no thank you message" but did make me chuckle - "I thought you people were meant to be jolly" Spiteful , and irrelevant from looking at your pics" I chuckled... I'm really not going to get uptight about a comment like that. I didn't think it was the best insult but thought it amusing nonetheless. My profile picture is really old so perhaps not irrelevant! | |||
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""What's up with you,you've got a face like a yard of gravy"" Confusing but defo funny lol | |||
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"I remember when I was basic training one of the lads reply when he was asked to get something by another lad: "And why don't you get a spoon and eat my arse". (Which I think he'd taken inspiration from the film American Pie if I'm not mistaken). To which the reply came back sharp as anything in a thick Scottish accent: "I'd need a fucking ladle you fat cunt, now go get it". Just the timing, the accent and the wit (IMO) still makes me chuckle today and that was about 20 years ago. Mr " Defo a good retort that one | |||
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"If you're the answer What's the fucking question lol French teacher to me at school,for yet again disrupting his class, clowning around " Deep but funny lol | |||
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"I was once told to, and I quote “fuck off you fucking fucker”… I forget the context, but I can only assume I had somehow upset a chap with a rather limited vocabulary" He Defo sounds like a Mensa member to me lol | |||
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"I got called a tory chavy bastard earlier today for saying no thanks. That tickled me." | |||
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"If you're the answer What's the fucking question lol French teacher to me at school,for yet again disrupting his class, clowning around Deep but funny lol" I thought it was hilarious,I was I pieces when he said it, which then made the other 30 kids erupt into laughter,I fucking loved that lesson | |||
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"You dress like an E*cort so you deserve to be treated like one.... From a middle aged chip on shoulder excuse of a Man " Best response to that. And even.if you held up a bank, you couldn't afford a minute of my time. (Then knee to the groin) | |||
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"(Looking at my phone) Ohhhh youve set of my twat alarm again!! " Lol | |||
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"You dress like an E*cort so you deserve to be treated like one.... From a middle aged chip on shoulder excuse of a Man Best response to that. And even.if you held up a bank, you couldn't afford a minute of my time. (Then knee to the groin)" Sounds good | |||
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