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" I read an interesting article about it and apparently it is that too. It mentioned that jealousy is considered a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds and motivates people to engage in behaviors that maintain essential relationships. It also mentioned the dark side of jealousy and that was if however, jealousy is triggered by fear and leads to acting from a place of suspicion, paranoia, or insecurity, then its unhealthy. What is your view of it? I first thought that it isnt healthy at all, but I have changed my mind about it abit, that it actually could be healthy, it depends of course of what kind of jealousy it is as well " What most people call jealousy is envy. Envy can be useful; jealousy, I think not. | |||
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"Even the gods were not free from jealousy and the story of Aphrodite and the golden apple exemplifies this nicely. Callisti" There is a difference though with human jealousy , being jealous for things that are not rightly yours. | |||
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"Experiencing jealousy is completely natural and normal. But letting it just live in you or your relationship is a sign of communication issues. It is a sign that something needs addressing in you, your partner and/or your relationship. I will not let jealousy become part of any relationship. But I don't judge myself for experiencing it now and then." Exactly this. I think of jealousy as being an umbrella term, a sign to look at what exactly it is you're unhappy about. The fear of being replaced? Self doubt? A sign of lack of open communication? It's a normal human emotion, vilifying doesn't really serve anyone. It's how it's processed and handled. | |||
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"I'm jealous the Mr slept through the child's crying all night and I had to get up, does that make me a bad person, no. Jealousy is normal, not all jealousy stems from a bad place, it's always spoken about on reference to lack of trust and it isn't the case, these are two separate things. Yes some jealousy stems from insecurities, some doesn't. If we start seeing all our emotions as a bad thing we'd all be mindless robots. Mrs " I used to get jealous that I was at home changing nappies while my ex was out working. Then I got jealous that I was out working while she got to stay home with the kids. Humans are fragile. | |||
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"If I don't feel jealousy I'm not normal? . I haven't really felt it since I was a child. Possibly I've had no cause to. I've certainly felt envy but I'm not comfortable with the suggestion that seems to be being made that I'm somehow wrong for being like this" I don't think you're not normal for not feeling it. I also don't think you're not normal if you do feel it/label it as such. It's more... accepting everyone is different and we all feel different emotions/don't feel them and there's not a wrong/right way about it. Unless you kill someone and don't feel any guilt or anything negative. That's not normal. And is a tad unhealthy. | |||
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"Experiencing jealousy is completely natural and normal. But letting it just live in you or your relationship is a sign of communication issues. It is a sign that something needs addressing in you, your partner and/or your relationship. I will not let jealousy become part of any relationship. But I don't judge myself for experiencing it now and then." Experiencing jealousy is something I hope not to do any more times. Two major experiences of it were more than enough for me. In each case it was destructive and the instigator was not the long term beneficiary. | |||
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"It mentioned that jealousy is considered a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds and motivates people to engage in behaviors that maintain essential relationships." Uh. Jealousy is a normal human emotion. As long as it's dealt with properly rather than being allowed to fester into something worse, it's absolutely fine. I do not believe it preserves social bonds in any way, shape or form. Though the methods of processing it and dealing with it might. Behaviours that maintain essential relationships is an odd one. I'm really not sure on the logic for that one. | |||
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"If I don't feel jealousy I'm not normal? . I haven't really felt it since I was a child. Possibly I've had no cause to. I've certainly felt envy but I'm not comfortable with the suggestion that seems to be being made that I'm somehow wrong for being like this I don't think you're not normal for not feeling it. I also don't think you're not normal if you do feel it/label it as such. It's more... accepting everyone is different and we all feel different emotions/don't feel them and there's not a wrong/right way about it. Unless you kill someone and don't feel any guilt or anything negative. That's not normal. And is a tad unhealthy. " Oh I've felt guilty every time I've killed someone. Phew! I'm normal after all | |||
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" What most people call jealousy is envy. Envy can be useful; jealousy, I think not. " Thank you. i now have one other supporter on this site. I have posted countless times that the word jealous is being misused. One is envious, not jealous, of someone's possessions or achievements. Jealousy relates to wanting to own or control another person, particularly with regard to their affections. Please don't keep misusing the word jealous when referring to cars etc. | |||
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" I read an interesting article about it and apparently it is that too. It mentioned that jealousy is considered a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds and motivates people to engage in behaviors that maintain essential relationships. It also mentioned the dark side of jealousy and that was if however, jealousy is triggered by fear and leads to acting from a place of suspicion, paranoia, or insecurity, then its unhealthy. What is your view of it? I first thought that it isnt healthy at all, but I have changed my mind about it abit, that it actually could be healthy, it depends of course of what kind of jealousy it is as well " I do not want to meet jealous people it kills. I want someone who inspires me, stays positive and negative thoughts can run away. That article sounds wrong saying it is healthy. | |||
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"If I don't feel jealousy I'm not normal? . I haven't really felt it since I was a child. Possibly I've had no cause to. I've certainly felt envy but I'm not comfortable with the suggestion that seems to be being made that I'm somehow wrong for being like this I don't think you're not normal for not feeling it. I also don't think you're not normal if you do feel it/label it as such. It's more... accepting everyone is different and we all feel different emotions/don't feel them and there's not a wrong/right way about it. Unless you kill someone and don't feel any guilt or anything negative. That's not normal. And is a tad unhealthy. Oh I've felt guilty every time I've killed someone. Phew! I'm normal after all " Good news, also, for the multitudes who have 'literally' killed someone! | |||
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" What most people call jealousy is envy. Envy can be useful; jealousy, I think not. Thank you. i now have one other supporter on this site. I have posted countless times that the word jealous is being misused. One is envious, not jealous, of someone's possessions or achievements. Jealousy relates to wanting to own or control another person, particularly with regard to their affections. Please don't keep misusing the word jealous when referring to cars etc." Envy is the horrible negative feeling of wanting what isn’t yours. Jealousy is feeling pain when something that is yours is threatened. If I care about someone a lot , I’m a little jealous if she is being chatted up. It’s a little possessive yes, but I don’t see it as a problem | |||
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"In my experience a little jealousy helps to make you fight harder for what you want, i.e. your partner. But if it is dark jealousy that breeds resentment and fear and hatred then it can end a relationship very quickly." Maybe that's where I'm different then. If I felt I had to fight hard for my partner I assume because someone else was involved, I'd walk. | |||
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"In my experience a little jealousy helps to make you fight harder for what you want, i.e. your partner. But if it is dark jealousy that breeds resentment and fear and hatred then it can end a relationship very quickly." That sounds like a recipe that would leave your self esteem in tatters | |||
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"I think it really depends. Making someone jealous on purpose - definitely not. Jealousy can absolutely cripple you and cause huge trust issues. It normally comes from a place deep down. I have seen it happen many times in the swinging world and it’s more about boundaries and honesty. What you want? What they want? Can they play elsewhere? Do they other meets planned? So many differentials. Then add feelings…" Yes, it depends on that as well | |||
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"Experiencing jealousy is completely natural and normal. But letting it just live in you or your relationship is a sign of communication issues. It is a sign that something needs addressing in you, your partner and/or your relationship. I will not let jealousy become part of any relationship. But I don't judge myself for experiencing it now and then." This... It is unhealthy to allow it to stew. | |||
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"I think a little jealous from the woman is good I think from the man it’s not good " Why? | |||
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"I think a little jealous from the woman is good I think from the man it’s not good Why?" It’s just my opinion that I’ve based on personal experiences that many won’t agree with Men don’t like feeling jealous. We get nothing from thinking our woman is getting attention elsewhere Women in general tend to find it attractive when other women find a guy attractive. It’s a type of social proof and preselecting. A woman would rather know other women find her man attractive and be a little jealous than realise no one except her finds him attractive | |||
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" I read an interesting article about it and apparently it is that too. It mentioned that jealousy is considered a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds and motivates people to engage in behaviors that maintain essential relationships. It also mentioned the dark side of jealousy and that was if however, jealousy is triggered by fear and leads to acting from a place of suspicion, paranoia, or insecurity, then its unhealthy. What is your view of it? I first thought that it isnt healthy at all, but I have changed my mind about it abit, that it actually could be healthy, it depends of course of what kind of jealousy it is as well " Jealousy of any sort isn't a good thing in any walk of life .. here or in the real world..when Jealousy raises it's ugly head ...and it is ugly..don't have anything to do with jealous people ..they might seem happy for you but behind it all they're not .. | |||
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"I read that jealousy is always disguising another emotion - fear of losing someone, insecurity about whether you're enough etc. Just accepting jealousy is part of a relationship and not looking deeper or challenging it? Doesn't seem very healthy to me. " I would agree with you. My experience is that sharing it openly with a partner, fosters compersion. | |||
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"I think a little jealous from the woman is good I think from the man it’s not good Why? It’s just my opinion that I’ve based on personal experiences that many won’t agree with Men don’t like feeling jealous. We get nothing from thinking our woman is getting attention elsewhere Women in general tend to find it attractive when other women find a guy attractive. It’s a type of social proof and preselecting. A woman would rather know other women find her man attractive and be a little jealous than realise no one except her finds him attractive " Can a woman know that other women find her man attractive and not be jealous? You're kinda in the place where people are more likely to think that. For me, it matters if I find a man attractive. I don't give a toss if anyone else does. | |||
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"I think a little jealous from the woman is good I think from the man it’s not good Why? It’s just my opinion that I’ve based on personal experiences that many won’t agree with Men don’t like feeling jealous. We get nothing from thinking our woman is getting attention elsewhere Women in general tend to find it attractive when other women find a guy attractive. It’s a type of social proof and preselecting. A woman would rather know other women find her man attractive and be a little jealous than realise no one except her finds him attractive Can a woman know that other women find her man attractive and not be jealous? You're kinda in the place where people are more likely to think that. For me, it matters if I find a man attractive. I don't give a toss if anyone else does. " I think obviously she can My experience is a little jealousy does wonders | |||
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"Jealousy is never good for anyone. It breeds resentment and anger. Anger turns to hate, hate leads to the Dark Side…… " There must be balance in the force. | |||
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"Jealousy and Envy two different things. Envy.. When you want something that someone else has. Jeolousy is not the above which can get thought of Envy. Jealousy is an emotion we feel through mental health issues. " | |||
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"I think a little jealous from the woman is good I think from the man it’s not good Why? It’s just my opinion that I’ve based on personal experiences that many won’t agree with Men don’t like feeling jealous. We get nothing from thinking our woman is getting attention elsewhere Women in general tend to find it attractive when other women find a guy attractive. It’s a type of social proof and preselecting. A woman would rather know other women find her man attractive and be a little jealous than realise no one except her finds him attractive Can a woman know that other women find her man attractive and not be jealous? You're kinda in the place where people are more likely to think that. For me, it matters if I find a man attractive. I don't give a toss if anyone else does. I think obviously she can My experience is a little jealousy does wonders " Does wonders for what? I have no experience of jealousy personally. My ex tried but I only realised after the fact. I must have frustrated him. | |||
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"Jealousy and Envy two different things. Envy.. When you want something that someone else has. Jeolousy is not the above which can get thought of Envy. Jealousy is an emotion we feel through mental health issues. " Someone can correct me here Envy is when you want what others have Jealousy is when you don’t want someone to have what you have I think | |||
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"I think a little jealous from the woman is good I think from the man it’s not good Why? It’s just my opinion that I’ve based on personal experiences that many won’t agree with Men don’t like feeling jealous. We get nothing from thinking our woman is getting attention elsewhere Women in general tend to find it attractive when other women find a guy attractive. It’s a type of social proof and preselecting. A woman would rather know other women find her man attractive and be a little jealous than realise no one except her finds him attractive Can a woman know that other women find her man attractive and not be jealous? You're kinda in the place where people are more likely to think that. For me, it matters if I find a man attractive. I don't give a toss if anyone else does. I think obviously she can My experience is a little jealousy does wonders Does wonders for what? I have no experience of jealousy personally. My ex tried but I only realised after the fact. I must have frustrated him. " Does wonders for the relationship | |||
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"Jealousy and Envy two different things. Envy.. When you want something that someone else has. Jeolousy is not the above which can get thought of Envy. Jealousy is an emotion we feel through mental health issues. Someone can correct me here Envy is when you want what others have Jealousy is when you don’t want someone to have what you have I think " Not difficult, sometimes, to become blue in the face whilst explaining simple English on here. To be fair, the vast majority in real life don't understand the difference in terminology. Not just on FAB. | |||
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"I think a little jealous from the woman is good I think from the man it’s not good Why? It’s just my opinion that I’ve based on personal experiences that many won’t agree with Men don’t like feeling jealous. We get nothing from thinking our woman is getting attention elsewhere Women in general tend to find it attractive when other women find a guy attractive. It’s a type of social proof and preselecting. A woman would rather know other women find her man attractive and be a little jealous than realise no one except her finds him attractive Can a woman know that other women find her man attractive and not be jealous? You're kinda in the place where people are more likely to think that. For me, it matters if I find a man attractive. I don't give a toss if anyone else does. I think obviously she can My experience is a little jealousy does wonders Does wonders for what? I have no experience of jealousy personally. My ex tried but I only realised after the fact. I must have frustrated him. Does wonders for the relationship " I'd not want to be in that kind of relationship. It sounds a bit toxic. My ex boyfriend was a very jealous man - it's not why we split up, but it was eating him up because he'd been cheated on. | |||
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"I think a little jealous from the woman is good I think from the man it’s not good Why? It’s just my opinion that I’ve based on personal experiences that many won’t agree with Men don’t like feeling jealous. We get nothing from thinking our woman is getting attention elsewhere Women in general tend to find it attractive when other women find a guy attractive. It’s a type of social proof and preselecting. A woman would rather know other women find her man attractive and be a little jealous than realise no one except her finds him attractive Can a woman know that other women find her man attractive and not be jealous? You're kinda in the place where people are more likely to think that. For me, it matters if I find a man attractive. I don't give a toss if anyone else does. I think obviously she can My experience is a little jealousy does wonders Does wonders for what? I have no experience of jealousy personally. My ex tried but I only realised after the fact. I must have frustrated him. Does wonders for the relationship I'd not want to be in that kind of relationship. It sounds a bit toxic. My ex boyfriend was a very jealous man - it's not why we split up, but it was eating him up because he'd been cheated on. " I think it’s toxic if someone is trying to make the other person jealous Bit I think a little natural jealousy is great and it’s always made my relationships 109x better And it sounds like my point rings true, jealous on the guts side is always bad, eats them up | |||
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"in the book overcoming depression by prof Paul Gilbert, he describes jealousy as an emotion associated with possession." Erich Fromm wrote a book. To Have or to Be With a very similar perspective. | |||
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" I read an interesting article about it and apparently it is that too. It mentioned that jealousy is considered a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds and motivates people to engage in behaviors that maintain essential relationships. It also mentioned the dark side of jealousy and that was if however, jealousy is triggered by fear and leads to acting from a place of suspicion, paranoia, or insecurity, then its unhealthy. What is your view of it? I first thought that it isnt healthy at all, but I have changed my mind about it abit, that it actually could be healthy, it depends of course of what kind of jealousy it is as well " Yep totally dependant on the type of jealousy. The 'oh your off on holiday, I'm so jealous!' It is what it is. But the jealousy that stems from insecurity, feelings of not being worthwhile, feelings of how they are and how they look, are not healthy for you if your the jealous one or the person your showing your jealousies too. I know that, but can't help it. No matter how much he says he loves me and spends more time with me, I still get the green monster. However, in my defence a lot of this is because there has been a fair bit of dishonesty, lying and so my trust is not really there. And that's the crux of it, jealousy will always be there if you can't trust. | |||
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"It isn't healthy. Jealousy stems from insecurities and if you're not secure in your relationship or they don't make you feel secure, it's never going to end well." Yes, you are right there too, it wont end well, as it depends on how secure the relationship is | |||
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"Jealousy and Envy two different things. Envy.. When you want something that someone else has. Jeolousy is not the above which can get thought of jealousy. Jealousy is an emotion we feel through mental health issues. " Hi becs, yes, you are right there between the two, envy and jealousy are two different things and those are good examples you gave there as well | |||
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" I read an interesting article about it and apparently it is that too. It mentioned that jealousy is considered a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds and motivates people to engage in behaviors that maintain essential relationships. It also mentioned the dark side of jealousy and that was if however, jealousy is triggered by fear and leads to acting from a place of suspicion, paranoia, or insecurity, then its unhealthy. What is your view of it? I first thought that it isnt healthy at all, but I have changed my mind about it abit, that it actually could be healthy, it depends of course of what kind of jealousy it is as well Yep totally dependant on the type of jealousy. The 'oh your off on holiday, I'm so jealous!' It is what it is. But the jealousy that stems from insecurity, feelings of not being worthwhile, feelings of how they are and how they look, are not healthy for you if your the jealous one or the person your showing your jealousies too. I know that, but can't help it. No matter how much he says he loves me and spends more time with me, I still get the green monster. However, in my defence a lot of this is because there has been a fair bit of dishonesty, lying and so my trust is not really there. And that's the crux of it, jealousy will always be there if you can't trust. " Yes, you are right there, jealousy is not always about seeing others, it can be yes of things as well. | |||
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" I read an interesting article about it and apparently it is that too. It mentioned that jealousy is considered a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds and motivates people to engage in behaviors that maintain essential relationships. It also mentioned the dark side of jealousy and that was if however, jealousy is triggered by fear and leads to acting from a place of suspicion, paranoia, or insecurity, then its unhealthy. What is your view of it? I first thought that it isnt healthy at all, but I have changed my mind about it abit, that it actually could be healthy, it depends of course of what kind of jealousy it is as well Yep totally dependant on the type of jealousy. The 'oh your off on holiday, I'm so jealous!' It is what it is. But the jealousy that stems from insecurity, feelings of not being worthwhile, feelings of how they are and how they look, are not healthy for you if your the jealous one or the person your showing your jealousies too. I know that, but can't help it. No matter how much he says he loves me and spends more time with me, I still get the green monster. However, in my defence a lot of this is because there has been a fair bit of dishonesty, lying and so my trust is not really there. And that's the crux of it, jealousy will always be there if you can't trust. Yes, you are right there, jealousy is not always about seeing others, it can be yes of things as well." | |||
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"What is there Shag on fab to be jealous of? In relationships on here or off here still not healthy to even think about.. Do you Shag think swinging with others creates jealousy? Asking for a friend. I trust myself but in all honesty have no trust in anyone from here. All I am is me. Hard to grasp when not many have met me in reality. No relationship will ever last without trust honesty and not to be jealous or controlling. Learn to stay positive and build " Hi becs and yes, there is nothing to be jealous on fab and no I dont think that swinging with others will create jealousy as it is a lifestyle, but you never know how the other partner feels when watching on and you are right there, a relationship will only last with trust and honesty | |||
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