FabSwingers.com forum: Ever been in this situation?

By *ulu and Monkey OP Couple
over a year ago

Durham

Been chatting with a lovely bi cpl. They work a lot and have younger kids so aren't on fab much. Arranged to meet them at ours on Sat the first time they could get childcare. And then boom they haven't been online for 2weeks plus?!?

Should we give up on them and look for another plan?

Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked

What would you do??

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By *tacy.TWoman
over a year ago

luton

"Been chatting with a lovely bi cpl. They work a lot and have younger kids so aren't on fab much. Arranged to meet them at ours on Sat the first time they could get childcare. And then boom they haven't been online for 2weeks plus?!?

Should we give up on them and look for another plan?

Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked

What would you do??"

I'd definitely give up n look elsewhere

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By *eko_JayTV/TS
over a year ago

Yate

Personally, I would go with whatever my gut instinct was telling me.

I you mentioned they don't get to go on fab a lot, but two weeks without any contact seems a bit long. Especially if you are supposed to be meeting them in two days time.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Send them a msg, tell them if you haven't heard back in the next 24hrs you'll presume the meeting isn't going ahead.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I give people 3 days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Send them a msg, tell them if you haven't heard back in the next 24hrs you'll presume the meeting isn't going ahead. "

Exactly this

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

If it smells fishy it’s a fish. Get a takeaway and put Netflix on. It ain’t happening.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Should we give up on them and look for another plan?

Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked

What would you do??"

I'd call or text/WhatsApp them.

I've never got to the stage of arranging a meet with someone without having the facility to contact them off site.

That way it doesn't matter when they last logged in.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Should we give up on them and look for another plan?

Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked

What would you do??

Some classic negative Fab advice on this thread.

I certainly wouldn't contact them to say you assume it's off if they are busy and they didn't give you a date!

Certainly don't give them a deadline!

Absolutely anything could have happened, and obviously they won't be actually offline just because of you - they are not on much anyway, as you say.

You just need to enquire (ask how they are perhaps?) and wait on this one, surely.

Regarding the club I have no idea. But nothing is stopping you still looking around Fab surely?

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By *ulu and Monkey OP Couple
over a year ago

Durham

Thanks for your thoughts fabbers xx

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd make a contingency plan, so that you restore some control as well as enjoyment to the night. Give yourself deadlines, by which you'll switch to plan B, if you've not heard.

Make contact and enforce your excitement for it and how you can be contacted. Advise you'd rearrange, if you would, when they make contact. Then check your messages

And enjoy plan A or B

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Should we give up on them and look for another plan?

Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked

What would you do??"
I'd say fcuk it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should we give up on them and look for another plan?

Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked

What would you do??"

Have you met them before? Is it just a man wanking?

How often do they usually come online?

If it was me I'd have massaged them after a week of no contact. After 2 weeks no contact I would cancel.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

Should we give up on them and look for another plan?

Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked

What would you do??"

We had that happen. We just moved on.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

As you've arranged to meet at yours you haven't wasted time travelling elsewhere to be stood up. If they show up great, if not go out into the vanilla world and enjoy yourselves...you never know what could happen.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Childcare is a huge issue to us too & fab is very low on our priorities.

If people can't wait they aren't our people.

You said they've not been online so they aren't specifically ignoring you, life happens.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you actually spoken to both of them via phone or video call ?

If not then i'd say it's just a man and he's now dumped that profile and made a new one.

I hope i'm wrong.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Perhaps their pet squirrel died?

Or maybe they weren’t serious about meeting.

Either way, no contact for a week I’d assume it wasn’t going ahead. No drama. Just move on and invest your time elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two weeks?! Forget them, straight into the proverbial bin.

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By *etterdays2021Man
over a year ago

PETERBOROUGH

Should we give up on them and look for another plan?

Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked

What would you do??"
give them the benefit of doubt.. maybe something happened.

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex

As others have said, forget them. We’ve been in your position, but we don’t chase them - if they can’t be bothered, or are willing to mess us about, they’re not for us. We use the notes so we know not to bother if they get in touch again.

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan
over a year ago

Midlands

They’re not serious about meeting or they’d provide kik or another avenue to chat. Move on to the next couple. Loads of time wasters on here - should be a no show verification button on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they haven’t been in touch in over 2 weeks I highly doubt they’ll turn up now. I’d forget about it and move on.

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

I often don't log in here for weeks or more but if i had arranged a meet it wouldn't mean I had not intention of attending but if I hadn't made contact with them I wouldn't expect them to wait around for me, so when I'd log back in and found out they'd made alternative plans I'd be ok with this because it would of been my fault, I would either ask if I could join in with their new plans or find something or someone else to do that day and hopefully rearrange the meet with them

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"Send them a msg, tell them if you haven't heard back in the next 24hrs you'll presume the meeting isn't going ahead. "

This

Yeah people may be busy ,but if you know you've agreed to meet someone ,it doesn't take 5 mins to log in and either message or check your mail.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

In cases like this, between forcing yourself to assume this 'isn't going to happen' (and risk you forgetting each other even when you use 'notes'), to sending them an ultimatum regarding dates you both never actually made, I think it really is a good suggestion to just put people like this on the back burner and just carry on looking elsewhere.

Don't assume you are being 'ghosted' just because a couple of weeks has passed. They haven't done much wrong it seems to me. Maybe actually nothing - real life is much more important than Fab.

I think people can easily get so frustrated with Fab that they actually deal with the frustration by effectively burning bridges. But what will that bring other than more frustration? It won't 'learn em' anything that's for sure, neither will an outright block. Best to just keep in touch imo (ie in the rather 'British' sense of politely over time!)

I think the key to me (for me anyway) is to have different potential ongoing 'conversations' on the go (with some decent actual contacts too of course)... then I've found I have a greater chance to get what I want more or less at the times I want it.

I've actually been in touch with some people on the Fabs for years before meeting fwiw. I don't see why that can't be the same for couples in some instances.

People need a certain type of skin with Fab I think, especially if they are sensitive to things like attention and losing it for periods.

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By *ulu and Monkey OP Couple
over a year ago

Durham

"In cases like this, between forcing yourself to assume this 'isn't going to happen' (and risk you forgetting each other even when you use 'notes'), to sending them an ultimatum regarding dates you both never actually made, I think it really is a good suggestion to just put people like this on the back burner and just carry on looking elsewhere.

Don't assume you are being 'ghosted' just because a couple of weeks has passed. They haven't done much wrong it seems to me. Maybe actually nothing - real life is much more important than Fab.

I've actually been in touch with some people on the Fabs for years before meeting fwiw. I don't see why that can't be the same for couples in some instances.

People need a certain type of skin with Fab I think, especially if they are sensitive to things like attention and losing it for periods.

pt"

Very sensible thoughts

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