FabSwingers.com forum: Give me a cure

By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

I am in bed ill with flu symptoms.

Give me your recommendations for how to get better quickly.

Wrong answers preferred.

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

Cake and cuddles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Black cherry flavoured Kraken Rum, with cOke mixer.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Smear cheesecake all over your body and hum the theme from Baywatch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A steve and pickle ploughmans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried leaving your biggest dildo inside you? To unblock your nose?

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Cake and cuddles"

This actually sounds perfect.

Victoria sponge and a sofa cuddle.

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Black cherry flavoured Kraken Rum, with cOke mixer. "

Excellent idea. Make my body assume it is hung over not sick.

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

Hot whiskey with honey and lemon

Go for a walk in a blow up dinosaur costume

Em x

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Stand on your head and inhale salt water through your left nostril, then stand up and exhale it from your right.

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Smear cheesecake all over your body and hum the theme from Baywatch

I have no cheesecake and I can't remember the Baywatch theme tune.

Guess I know what my ubereats order is and what I will be watching whilst I smear. Thank you.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Cum and turmeric

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"A steve and pickle ploughmans. "

Do I chew or swallow whole? I want to get the full benefit by doing this correctly.

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

"Cake and cuddles

This actually sounds perfect.

Victoria sponge and a sofa cuddle."

Oky doky, I'll get the cake and I promise not to poke you when we cuddle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A steve and pickle ploughmans.

Do I chew or swallow whole? I want to get the full benefit by doing this correctly."
swallow. There’s nothing to chew.

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Eat a jar of marmite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly, hugs... virtual ones, keep your sniffles away from me

Also, have have you tried turning yourself off and on again?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Same. I've heard that if two poorly people snuggle up in bed together the illness decides it should bugger off.

Failing that, watch something lighthearted and comforting like Midsommar than gargle on some come to replenish any lost nutrients.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Light a bonfire in your garden and dance around it naked, shouting to the God of NotBeingIll "I am NOT sick, I need to suck!!"

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Have you tried leaving your biggest dildo inside you? To unblock your nose?"

My nose is fine. I guess I can't use my biggest dildo then?

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

A good finger blasting will sort it..

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

Newborn blood would have prevented all of this in the first place, but it's still the solution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Light a bonfire in your garden and dance around it naked, shouting to the God of NotBeingIll "I am NOT sick, I need to suck!!"

The God of not being 3

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Hot whiskey with honey and lemon

Go for a walk in a blow up dinosaur costume

Em x"

Alexa order a blow up dinosaur costume with prime delivery!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you tried leaving your biggest dildo inside you? To unblock your nose?

My nose is fine. I guess I can't use my biggest dildo then?"

Nope. Stand down Kenneth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hot toddy!

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Wrap your head in vinegar and brown paper whilst standing on one leg whistling the great escape. Be better in two shakes of a lamb’s tail

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Dehydrate yourself better and keep busy lots of DIY, push-ups , stressful trips into town shopping,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/09/23 19:45:46]

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Send got Dr R with his famous cold and flu cure .

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Stand on your head and inhale salt water through your left nostril, then stand up and exhale it from your right."

This sounds like what I do with my Netty pot during very bad allergy season. So this makes total sense. Thank you.

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Cum and turmeric "

Whose cum. Do I mix them the cum and turmeric? Eat it? Smear it on my tits? Who administers this remedy?

More info needed.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Light a bonfire in your garden and dance around it naked, shouting to the God of NotBeingIll "I am NOT sick, I need to suck!!"

The God of not being 3

That's how my keyboard writes Ill. It's not III or ILL.

Put your specs on, Pickle

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"Dehydrate yourself better and keep busy lots of DIY, push-ups , stressful trips into town shopping,

I thought dehydration leads to weak immune system, headaches and dry mouth?

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Chicken Vindaloo

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Eat a jar of marmite

Nothing makes me feel better than the thought of sticking my fingers in the marmite jar and licking marmite off my fingers. Yum.

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Firstly, hugs... virtual ones, keep your sniffles away from me

Also, have have you tried turning yourself off and on again?"

Thanks!

I am often turned on. Happy with further help with this though.

Uncertain how to turn myself off first. Oh wait there is a trump documentary I keep meaning to watch that will do it.

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Same. I've heard that if two poorly people snuggle up in bed together the illness decides it should bugger off.

Failing that, watch something lighthearted and comforting like Midsommar than gargle on some come to replenish any lost nutrients."

Unfortunately Uber eats is out of cum so I will take the first option.

I have heard that before actually. But you have to take turns being big spoon or having a boob cupped.

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Light a bonfire in your garden and dance around it naked, shouting to the God of NotBeingIll "I am NOT sick, I need to suck!!"

I have a yard and a wheelie bin so I think I could make this happen. Though I think I could still suck just not very enthusiasticly so maybe I am not sick enough for this cure.

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"A good finger blasting will sort it..

I also have my period so this could get messy. But I am willing to try anything to get better.

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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Newborn blood would have prevented all of this in the first place, but it's still the solution"

I think I might stay sick rather than risk.the rest of my life imprisoned. Good to have options though.

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

"I am in bed ill with flu symptoms.

Give me your recommendations for how to get better quickly.

Wrong answers preferred."

2 fluff pills plucked from Richard Madeleys belly button

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

If it's any consolation I'm not ill but i still feel better having looked at your pics

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"I am in bed ill with flu symptoms.

Give me your recommendations for how to get better quickly.

Wrong answers preferred."

Strip tease from your favourite forumites whilst being fed ice cream

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Monster Energy is medicinal in large quantities

(Other brands are available)

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By *ullyMan
over a year ago

Near Clacton

Drink plenty of brandy, and take 2 paracetamol. Then drink some more brandy, it won't cure you, but after a while you wont give a fuck.

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By *ullyMan
over a year ago

Near Clacton

My go to when I have a cold is Lemsip with lemon honey and brandy, add just enough 'HOT' water then sip it. It's like nectar, and cum, really soothes the throat and the paracetamol in the lemsip lowers your temperature.

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

The real cure though, is there is no cure. You can only sleep a lot, drink a lot of water and wait it out

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