FabSwingers.com forum: I’ve had sex once in three weeks

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So tell me how to improve my profile x

(I will not tolerate serious advice)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need a video of your pickle doing magic tricks or else your username is misleading

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need a video of your pickle doing magic tricks or else your username is misleading

Helicopter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Post action shot photos.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Post action shot photos.

Safe sex or bb?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use a shadow avatar like mine. It adds mystery to you.

Chics dig that type of shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just look at other forum threads...

Not enough dick pics over the toilet bowl on your profile .

Women love to see a clean toilet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Use a shadow avatar like mine. It adds mystery to you.

Chics dig that type of shit.

Shall I hide the profile too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven’t had sex since 2019 Steve…imagine how tired we* are…imagine how tired we are

*we being me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just look at other forum threads...

Not enough dick pics over the toilet bowl on your profile .

Women love to see a clean toilet

Hmmm. Suppose I’d better flush and then clean the toilet then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I haven’t had sex since 2019 Steve…imagine how tired we* are…imagine how tired we are

*we being me "

I literally love that meme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/09/23 17:53:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give people hoops to jump through. They love it.

Seriously I've had sex about once in the last 3 years so consider yourself lucky!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Give people hoops to jump through. They love it.

Seriously I've had sex about once in the last 3 years so consider yourself lucky!!!"
give me an example please

Also do you want to have sex? Because I want to have sex…

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

Stop bragging

some of us are spending a fortune on batteries $-

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By *orfolkNewbieMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

Too many words. Women hate that. Just a "Fill in later" should be enough

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By *AABMan
over a year ago

Not far

What is this sex you people speak of?

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

So tell me how to improve my profile x

(I will not tolerate serious advice)"

It’s one more than me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Stop bragging

some of us are spending a fortune on batteries $-"

For your Xbox?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Post action shot photos.

Safe sex or bb?"

Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Too many words. Women hate that. Just a "Fill in later" should be enough

And then she’ll let me fill her in later

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

Stop bragging

some of us are spending a fortune on batteries $-

For your Xbox?"

For my X-rated box

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Post action shot photos.

Safe sex or bb?

Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.

I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Post action shot photos.

Safe sex or bb?

Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.

I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag"

She came as soon as I got it all the way in

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Stop bragging

some of us are spending a fortune on batteries $-

For your Xbox?

For my X-rated box

I have a pack of 6 Duracell batteries. Unused. Free to a good home. If you’re interested DM me to arrange collection or drop off

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Post action shot photos.

Safe sex or bb?

Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.

I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag

She came as soon as I got it all the way in

Who is this?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is this sex you people speak of?

All the swingers are having it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So tell me how to improve my profile x

(I will not tolerate serious advice)

It’s one more than me

Damn Daniel

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By *hareapairMan
over a year ago

Worcs (_hareapair/Sam)

Pretty sure it's down to false advertising... that looks like an aubergine to me, hmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Post action shot photos.

Safe sex or bb?

Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.

I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag

She came as soon as I got it all the way in

Who is this?"

The better half, who you missed out on seeing at the MLS

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

So tell me how to improve my profile x

(I will not tolerate serious advice)"

Its bloody simply stop putting your pic on your profile be a man of mystery

Change your name to Elvis lie about Age . try that and report back .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Post action shot photos.

Safe sex or bb?

Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.

I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag

She came as soon as I got it all the way in

Who is this?

The better half, who you missed out on seeing at the MLS

yeah I’m not gonna lie I was gutted

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pretty sure it's down to false advertising... that looks like an aubergine to me, hmmmm"

The pickle simply wasn’t big enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alright Stud! No need to brag, some of us haven’t in a year!

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Replace your profile text with a long list of specific requirements that any partner would have to meet. That way you're only attracting the very best to ride your pole

Oh and bonus points if you don't put anything else on there, like info on yourself or what you bring to the table. Gotta be mysterious. Bitches love mysterious

LvM

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

Show off

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincs. yorks.

Does having sex with youself count ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So tell me how to improve my profile x

(I will not tolerate serious advice)

Its bloody simply stop putting your pic on your profile be a man of mystery

Change your name to Elvis lie about Age . try that and report back ."

In the Words of Skepta- Kill another MC then go Spain and change my name to Lorenzo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Alright Stud! No need to brag, some of us haven’t in a year!

This is crazy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does having sex with youself count ?"

If it does I’ve had a fuck load of sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So tell me how to improve my profile x

(I will not tolerate serious advice)"

Start targeting the dregs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Replace your profile text with a long list of specific requirements that any partner would have to meet. That way you're only attracting the very best to ride your pole

Oh and bonus points if you don't put anything else on there, like info on yourself or what you bring to the table. Gotta be mysterious. Bitches love mysterious

LvM"

Ok I’m trusting you because you’ve managed to bag yourself a K

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

So tell me how to improve my profile x

(I will not tolerate serious advice)"

I haven't had sex since the kids broke up for summer! I just can't get my head together since they went back a couple of weeks ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re missing the part about being a qualified massage therapist. Adding that will instantly double your chances….oh and add something about being a “discreet professional” too!

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"Just look at other forum threads...

Not enough dick pics over the toilet bowl on your profile .

Women love to see a clean toilet

They love the idea that a man loves to clean, or so I have been told.

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"You’re missing the part about being a qualified massage therapist. Adding that will instantly double your chances….oh and add something about being a “discreet professional” too! "

No, no, 100% discreet always reassures me.

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"Does having sex with youself count ?"

No.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Who else is thinking once in three weeks is bl..dy showing off

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Easy.

Say you're a tog and offer boudoir shoots with benefits to sexy people.

You're welcome

Mrs TMN x

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Does your profile contain at least one rant? You're not angry enough for the Sex, Steve. Have a rant and all will cum true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/09/23 19:16:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You need a video of your pickle doing magic tricks or else your username is misleading

Tying a knot in a cherry? That would be cool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Easy.

Say you're a tog and offer boudoir shoots with benefits to sexy people.

You're welcome

Mrs TMN x "

Tog??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Easy.

Say you're a tog and offer boudoir shoots with benefits to sexy people.

You're welcome

Mrs TMN x

Tog?? "

Photographer

And not sure it works lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Easy.

Say you're a tog and offer boudoir shoots with benefits to sexy people.

You're welcome

Mrs TMN x

Tog??

Photographer

And not sure it works lol!"

Of course.

*woody slaps his forehead.

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By *ullyMan
over a year ago

Near Clacton

Your well lucky, I have only had sex 3 times this year!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Post action shot photos.

Safe sex or bb?

Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.

I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag

She came as soon as I got it all the way in

Who is this?

The better half, who you missed out on seeing at the MLS

yeah I’m not gonna lie I was gutted

In fairness you didn't miss much, I smile a lot, make crude remarks, flirt and talk (more so when I'm nervous)

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

My partner has got covid, so I haven't had sex for a week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My partner has got covid, so I haven't had sex for a week

Did you find them on Fab?

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

"My partner has got covid, so I haven't had sex for a week

Did you find them on Fab?

"
Surprisingly enough, no, not this time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My partner has got covid, so I haven't had sex for a week

A whole WEEK!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My partner has got covid, so I haven't had sex for a week

Did you find them on Fab?

Surprisingly enough, no, not this time"

Congrats

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Do a video of cock helicopter. Will have knicker elastic snapping all across the country. Women won’t admit it but that’s the one thing they can never resist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do a video of cock helicopter. Will have knicker elastic snapping all across the country. Women won’t admit it but that’s the one thing they can never resist "

I mean, it's cute and all but...I've never shagged a man because of a helicopter vid.

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Cock pics obvs

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

So tell me how to improve my profile x

(I will not tolerate serious advice)"

I’ll come over & we can take pictures of me hitting you with various salad ingredients.

Trust me - you’ll be swimming in ladies

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I mean, it's cute and all but...I've never shagged a man because of a helicopter vid. "

And, erm … how *does* one get you into bed? Asking for, erm, a friend. Yeah. That’s it.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Replace your profile text with a long list of specific requirements that any partner would have to meet. That way you're only attracting the very best to ride your pole

Oh and bonus points if you don't put anything else on there, like info on yourself or what you bring to the table. Gotta be mysterious. Bitches love mysterious

LvM

Ok I’m trusting you because you’ve managed to bag yourself a K"

No, K managed to bag him

if we ever meet remind me to tell you our story and don't forget to watch out for Lorenzo's eye roll when I'm telling it

Oh BTW that K that he bagged is edging him until Sunday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Replace your profile text with a long list of specific requirements that any partner would have to meet. That way you're only attracting the very best to ride your pole

Oh and bonus points if you don't put anything else on there, like info on yourself or what you bring to the table. Gotta be mysterious. Bitches love mysterious

LvM

Ok I’m trusting you because you’ve managed to bag yourself a K

No, K managed to bag him

if we ever meet remind me to tell you our story and don't forget to watch out for Lorenzo's eye roll when I'm telling it

Oh BTW that K that he bagged is edging him until Sunday

Ahh the eye roll

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By *pen2UMan
over a year ago

Telford

Do what you're doing as it's been years for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I mean, it's cute and all but...I've never shagged a man because of a helicopter vid.

And, erm … how *does* one get you into bed? Asking for, erm, a friend. Yeah. That’s it."

Erotica

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So tell me how to improve my profile x

(I will not tolerate serious advice)

I’ll come over & we can take pictures of me hitting you with various salad ingredients.

Trust me - you’ll be swimming in ladies

You're wicked

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Not enough cryptic code words hidden in 15 pages of text and containing a hieroglyph. Plus you need more rules and the tone needs to be more - ‘if you don’t… i’ll block you!’ Insist on a face pic but make Sure they know because you have a high profile job hou wont send one and you’ll turn up to meets in a balaclava!! One last thing - add several legal disclaimers at the end preferably copied from Facebook and quoting United States Statutes which are really useful In the Uk - job done!!

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