FabSwingers.com forum: What’s the dumbest thing you did as child

By *wannafreakyou OP Man
over a year ago

london

I’ll start I got my head stuck in the playground railings once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took my toy drum apart to see how it worked.

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

I’m told that when I was not much more than a toddler I tried to repair a gas fire with an unplugged soldering iron . Almost a Darwin Award candidate

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I’ll start I got my head stuck in the playground railings once

Elocuted my brother

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I’ll start I got my head stuck in the playground railings once

Only once? You learn fast.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Touched the glass on the front of the fire while it was on.

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

When I was 4 or 5 I used a filled hot water bottle as a sledge from the top of the stairs, hit the wall at the bottom broke my arm and gave myself concussion.

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Fuck it! Decided I would totally innocently, stick my willy in a Smarties tube, completely oblivious to then not being able to fathom why I couldn’t get it out again, having to finally muster the courage to go tell my dad, eventually, who I can still vividly recall laughing and laughing and telling me, leave it 10 minutes and till work itself out! Who knew what an erection was at 7?! Not that dumb really, but I’ve always felt really dumb about it to this day

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

The house we lived in had what is known as Sash windows, ones that open vertically, as a 5 year old I was fascinated how my mother opened the window, sat on the window cill keeping her legs inside and started cleaning the outside of the windows.

I thought I would try as it looked fun, needless to say I fell 15ft on to the concrete below, broke my right arm and split my head open.

No A&E in those days but the family doctor came to the house, stitched up my head wound and took me to the local hospital in his car.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Eating grass with a mate because we wanted to see if we'd piss milk.

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By *abrielle43Woman
over a year ago

Kildare

Was scared to climb down off the school roof so took a running jump and smashed my coccyx, simultaneously kneeing myself in the face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found some live rounds, put them in a vice with a nail against the primer plate and whacked them with a hammer. Sadly, or probably fortunately, it didn't work.

Bess x

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Y’know reading some of these, we’re lucky to have reached adulthood

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Forgot I had my slippers on

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By *ibennyMan
over a year ago

rutherglen

Broke my both arms trying to make a jump on my bike .lol

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

I could claim ending up needing a finger stitching back on but in reality I was too young to know not to put fingers in the door jam.

So it was probably paddling an inflatable boat up a river to the point it got drawn onto the bottom of a weir and needing a dog walker to pull it off the stopper using the dogs lead

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I’d say biting off a huge chunk of the glass as I wanted to hear the crunch is one of many things I’ve done.

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"Y’know reading some of these, we’re lucky to have reached adulthood

Brash of you to assume we have all reached said point

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

Cut through a live power cable with a pair of bare metal scissors. Got blown across the room.

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

I got stuck in a cattle grid, got in but couldn't get out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ran through a near mile long railway tunnel. If a train had come, I’d be posting this from the other side.

Thinking back, it was epically stupid.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Chicken with darts, chicken with a javelin at boarding school, chicken with a discus.....shooting out windows above school swimming pool as ppl swam with a catapult, the list goes on

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

My mum had put bleach in a jam jar on window sill I apparently pulled it down on to my eyes and chest! I don't remember it must have been very young! X

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

"Ran through a near mile long railway tunnel. If a train had come, I’d be posting this from the other side.

Thinking back, it was epically stupid."

That used to be my short cut home from the pub.

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there

I changed a fuse on a plug, to lazy to screw the back on before plugging it back in to test…… one big bang & me 5ft away from where I started gave me a very quick lesson on stupidity!

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

Dig up a grenade in the garden. Came running into the house excited and shaking it wildly about. The police were called and cordoned off the street whist they investigated. Turned out to be a replica used in training but still, a dumb move by me!

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By *lmost TouchingMan
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat.

Standard experience… Chlorine bombs and ladies of the night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jumped out of the bedroom window holding an open umbrella.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crashed my bike into a parked car and broke my front teeth

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By *lexm87Man
over a year ago

Various

Dumbest thing?

Grew up...

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By *oinerbillMan
over a year ago

warrington

"When I was 4 or 5 I used a filled hot water bottle as a sledge from the top of the stairs, hit the wall at the bottom broke my arm and gave myself concussion."

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By *inegarStrokesMan
over a year ago

Uxbridge

"When I was 4 or 5 I used a filled hot water bottle as a sledge from the top of the stairs, hit the wall at the bottom broke my arm and gave myself concussion."

Did you get a bit Daizy?

I’ll see myself out.

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
over a year ago

London (She/Her)

My sister was in a rubber dinghy being swept down the river so I jumped in to swim her back to the bank. I totally froze in the cold water and couldn’t breathe, didn’t save my sister and nearly drowned. Sister was saved by a guy in a canoe.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

Pushed some hair grips into a plug socket when I was 10. Fired across the room faster than hot snot.

Tombstoned 70ft and landed badly. Then found out 2 people who did it a few days prior had life changing injuries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Took my toy drum apart to see how it worked.

Did that with a lamp instead xD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bad week at college so went mixing g my drinks. And well gave myself a concussion. Other than that I've been quite a good boy lol

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"I’ll start I got my head stuck in the playground railings once

Broke both of my brother's legs. Compound fractures. He was in hospital for a couple of months, with Drs saying he would probably never walk proper again! But hey, what did they know? Jumped over him while he was sitting cross legged with a toy Winchester rifle on his lap. Managed to catch his head, pushing him onto the rifle. The good news is that he grew up to be a bit of a psycho!

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"I’ll start I got my head stuck in the playground railings once

Elocuted my brother "

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Eating grass with a mate because we wanted to see if we'd piss milk."

Oh god that's hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prank called clown town organising my birthday party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Prank called clown town organising my birthday party"

When you do clownery…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pissed on an electric fence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went in to bat for my cricket team not wearing my box and lying about wearing one even after getting hit in the private area.

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"Pissed on an electric fence."

We did that. Nothing happened.

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"Went in to bat for my cricket team not wearing my box and lying about wearing one even after getting hit in the private area.

Well. Magic pickle and all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grow up. 0/10 do not recommend

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Fuck it! Decided I would totally innocently, stick my willy in a Smarties tube, completely oblivious to then not being able to fathom why I couldn’t get it out again, having to finally muster the courage to go tell my dad, eventually, who I can still vividly recall laughing and laughing and telling me, leave it 10 minutes and till work itself out! Who knew what an erection was at 7?! Not that dumb really, but I’ve always felt really dumb about it to this day "

Omg I totally lol' on the bus at this

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"When I was 4 or 5 I used a filled hot water bottle as a sledge from the top of the stairs, hit the wall at the bottom broke my arm and gave myself concussion.

Did you get a bit Daizy?

I’ll see myself out. "

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"Bad week at college so went mixing g my drinks. And well gave myself a concussion. Other than that I've been quite a good boy lol"

Were you mixing those drinks with your head? Spent the first six months at college pissed out of my head. Who knows what we did. I do remember waking at the foot my mates

bed hugging his puke filled shoe. Yes, they did eventually kick me out. Gits!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Went in to bat for my cricket team not wearing my box and lying about wearing one even after getting hit in the private area.

Well. Magic pickle and all!"

It still works thank God!

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"Jumped out of the bedroom window holding an open umbrella."

My fantasy but could never quite get up the courage. Well done!

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"Pushed some hair grips into a plug socket when I was 10. Fired across the room faster than hot snot.

Tombstoned 70ft and landed badly. Then found out 2 people who did it a few days prior had life changing injuries.

Did they become more handsome?

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"Went in to bat for my cricket team not wearing my box and lying about wearing one even after getting hit in the private area.

Well. Magic pickle and all!

It still works thank God!

Or you have found 31 kind people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Went in to bat for my cricket team not wearing my box and lying about wearing one even after getting hit in the private area.

Owwwwwwwwwwwwzat

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I’ll start I got my head stuck in the playground railings once

That old chestnut. Haven't we all done that!

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By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

I realised early on that my job, as a parent, was to stop my children, and other kids too, from killing themself. I've got a kitten at the moment and I have already saved his life. He managed to hang himself of some string. Fortunately I was in the same room. It's the joy of being young, I guess. Your next good idea might kill you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sliced my forefinger to the bone playing with my father's razor - as you do.

Parents didn't believe in wasting good money on doctors or hospitals (no NHS here), I have the scar to prove it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I realised early on that my job, as a parent, was to stop my children, and other kids too, from killing themself. I've got a kitten at the moment and I have already saved his life. He managed to hang himself of some string. Fortunately I was in the same room. It's the joy of being young, I guess. Your next good idea might kill you!"

Natural selection at work

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By *rown_Bread78Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Wait, is this a trap?

What's the statute of limitations?

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

"My mum had put bleach in a jam jar on window sill I apparently pulled it down on to my eyes and chest! I don't remember it must have been very young! X"

I did exactly the same thing but I was at uni so haven't even got the excuse that I was a child. My friend for some unknown reason filled her face cream pot up with bleach. After a night out I plastered it on my face. I thought the burning was the anti-aging ingredients. Wasn't until the next morning I saw my face was strawberry red.

My friend said that'll teach me for nicking her stuff. Maybe she had a point?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Ran away from home.

Made it halfway to my Nan and gramps before my Grampy picked me up after spotting me on his way home from his allotment, asked me what I was doing then gave me a bollocking for worrying my mum, turned the car around and drove me back home.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Broke my leg and my mate brought porn mags around to help pass the time!

My brother seen me hide it under my pillow when he walked into our room and shouted mum. Due to my leg I couldn’t hide the magazines anywhere and my mum rollicked me and took them away

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By *imbo59seMan
over a year ago

North Norfolk area

"I found some live rounds, put them in a vice with a nail against the primer plate and whacked them with a hammer. Sadly, or probably fortunately, it didn't work.

Bess x"

I've done the same with a shotgun cartridge. Without a barrel for the gases to push the bullet/pellets through, they don't go far......not a good idea for anyone to stand really close in front though!

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Superglued my sisters hands together. She deserved it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Superglued my sisters hands together. She deserved it

J "

Deserved it? Not dumb then is it xD

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Superglued my sisters hands together. She deserved it

Deserved it? Not dumb then is it xD"

I had to spend hours in the hospital with her & my mum though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Superglued my sisters hands together. She deserved it

Deserved it? Not dumb then is it xD

I had to spend hours in the hospital with her & my mum though "

Small price to pay

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By *imbo59seMan
over a year ago

North Norfolk area

"Went in to bat for my cricket team not wearing my box and lying about wearing one even after getting hit in the private area.

Owwwwwwwwwwwwzat"

Played one game where the wicketkeeper had forgotten his jockstrap. So he put his box (one of the old pink ones, with ventilation holes... remember them?) in his underpants.

As a result of all the bending up and down, and getting sweaty, his scrotum found its way through a couple of holes in the box.....and then swelled up!

Cue lots of cold water and 2 pairs of pliers to break the box!!!

Not that I think about it very often, but every time I do, I find myself crossing my legs and wincing!

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By *nnandElleCouple
over a year ago

Brackley

Stuck a screwdriver in the desk mounted plug socket Earth connection in the science department at school, to open the live and neutral and then stuck a resistor in each, twizzled (yes) them together and then flicked the on switch.

Bang! smoke, shit in pants and threatened with expulsion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No wonder we went allowed screw drivers in high school!!!

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By *ohnboy64Man
over a year ago

Blackpool

Placed a lit candle in our chest freezer to see if the flame would freeze.

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By *ewels74Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus/Blackpool

Can you say being 17 well one of my many stupid things i used to jump in and out of my bedroom window into the garden in front of bedroom, at the time im thankful i was at least slim lol, but one time i must have not been thinking and going from the wall to inside the window i dont know what happened but i sort of found myself on the ground and then having to go to hospital as i gashed my head i think i slipped knocked my head on the stone kerb at the window and and fell unconcious doing it...and i think why my back has never been the same since.

Done plenty more things like elbowing into a glass kitchen door, or leaning down when out in the street and then got up and whacked my head on these very old fashioned car ticket machines back in the 80s....i genuinally used to trip over my own feet a lot and fall flat only to bounce back up i blame the boobs i swear.

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By *oco_marsWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

Touched a light bulb in a lamp moments after I saw my little sister do it and start SCREAMING because it burnt her finger tips

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By *ewels74Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus/Blackpool

Something else that comes to mind lol

i was def young and i swear i must have had a weird kind of moment, i was out with a group of teens around my age young and old it was either part of sunday school weekend away or girls brigade but for some weird reason most of us where on a large hill, very steep of course and me being me decided to start running all the way down it only to find myself literally falling head over butt literally and rolling all the way to the bottom

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By *ir SupremacyMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Throw stones at the Army .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Throw stones at the Army ."
oh please share

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant remember as was very young but apparently my dad got out of car to go in a shop. I leaned forward from back of car and took handbrake off the car. It rolled down hill with me in it

into a lamp post writing it off. It was a jag too

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By *heoneandonlyEJCouple
over a year ago

Rotherham

I was 13 and absolutely plastered at a friend’s party. My hair was bleached and dyed pink and I decided it would be a great time to try and remove the dye- with old fashioned Vim powder, as you do. What a bloody mess

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

"Broke my both arms "

Out of interest, have you discussed this on Reddit?

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By *exfordMan
over a year ago

discombobulated land

"I’ll start I got my head stuck in the playground railings once

Grow up and become an adult

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Made a hat out of play dough

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"I cant remember as was very young but apparently my dad got out of car to go in a shop. I leaned forward from back of car and took handbrake off the car. It rolled down hill with me in it

into a lamp post writing it off. It was a jag too"

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

I threw a mini firework over the fence at the bowls club. They didn't see the funny side.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Believed adults

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By *Bag69Man
over a year ago

Derby

Ate grass. A lot... of grass.

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By *dy-ukTV/TS
over a year ago

Alcester

"Touched the glass on the front of the fire while it was on. "

I did that, wood burning stove and burnt my hand.

Had to go to hospital and put cream and mitton bandage on

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

How much time do you have?

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By *hillenCouple
over a year ago

Borehamwood

Became an adult!

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

When I was 4 or 5 I ate my mum's contraception pills because I thought they were vitamins. Doctor had to pump my stomach

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I was changing some bulbs in a little disco light rig I’d created (don’t ask

)

When I’d taken the original lamps out it was dark and I couldn’t see to put the new ones back in. So I thought, I know, I’ll use my finger to feel for the (live) lamp socket…..

That was a jolt I won’t ever forget!

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I don't remember it, I was 2 my mum told me while she was hanging the washing out I drank some perfume from one of those bottles without a spray had to have my stomach pumped

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"I was changing some bulbs in a little disco light rig I’d created (don’t ask

)

When I’d taken the original lamps out it was dark and I couldn’t see to put the new ones back in. So I thought, I know, I’ll use my finger to feel for the (live) lamp socket…..

That was a jolt I won’t ever forget! "

Obviously not a very bright spark at the time lol

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Jumped off a really high fence holding a brolly thinking I was Mary poppins

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"I was changing some bulbs in a little disco light rig I’d created (don’t ask

)

When I’d taken the original lamps out it was dark and I couldn’t see to put the new ones back in. So I thought, I know, I’ll use my finger to feel for the (live) lamp socket…..

That was a jolt I won’t ever forget!

Obviously not a very bright spark at the time lol"

Nor since sadly

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"I was changing some bulbs in a little disco light rig I’d created (don’t ask

)

When I’d taken the original lamps out it was dark and I couldn’t see to put the new ones back in. So I thought, I know, I’ll use my finger to feel for the (live) lamp socket…..

That was a jolt I won’t ever forget!

Obviously not a very bright spark at the time lol

Nor since sadly

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales

"I’ll start I got my head stuck in the playground railings once

The list is far too long and too dumb, I’ll just say that most of the people that knew me were shocked I’d made it as far as my 20th birthday

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

"I’ll start I got my head stuck in the playground railings once

Lucky Philip Schofield was about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stuck my foot in my bicycles front wheel spokes while cycling full pelt down a hill. I was trying to make an engine noise. Taken away in an ambulance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got my tongue stuck to the freezer

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By *hatBeardedChapMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Fell out a tree piercing my wrist in a metal spiked fence

Getting hit by a car because I mistook my brothers No as Go

Getting chased by one of the neighbours with a kitchen knife..because she mistook me for someone else who had apparently being bullying her kid

Being chased by sisters friend slipping over n smashing my head off corner of wooden chair leaving a scar above my left eye

Probably plenty more but I'll be here all day

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By *uietguy689Man
over a year ago

Abingdon

Eating laburnum seeds from the garden. Mum tells a great tale of driving to the hospital to have my stomach pumped out, one hand on the steering wheel the other shaking me to keep me awake.

Funnily enough, just looked online to check the spelling and seems i was not alone - apparenty in the 1970s 3000 hospital admissions a year were put down to laburnum poisoning

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"Eating grass with a mate because we wanted to see if we'd piss milk."

Oh that tickled me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi....first time to comment in forums....

One of the dumbest things I did as a child was to go down a steep hill on my tricycle free wheeling....feet off pedals with eyes shut....smack bang straight into the back of a truck....

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I remember my Grandad shouting at me for climbing on the railings at Bournemouth pier whilst some pretty choppy seas were underneath... I remember looking down at the waves crashing about and suddenly being hauled back down.

I would have been about five at the time and saw no danger in what I was doing.

He was not happy, it was the only time he ever raised his voice to me.

I didn't climb on the railings again.

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By *ittleRed18Woman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Either reaching over the top of a kettle as it reached boiling point (blister was instant)

Or very closely running out in front of an occupied swingset

- I was definitely airborne for a few seconds

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Walked into the glass door in someone else's hotel room completely shattering it.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Hi....first time to comment in forums....

One of the dumbest things I did as a child was to go down a steep hill on my tricycle free wheeling....feet off pedals with eyes shut....smack bang straight into the back of a truck....

Welcome to the forums. I hope you post many more.

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

Had brick throwing fights with friends on a building site

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By *ex LutherMan
over a year ago

Closer than you think

Stuck a marble up my nose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi....first time to comment in forums....

One of the dumbest things I did as a child was to go down a steep hill on my tricycle free wheeling....feet off pedals with eyes shut....smack bang straight into the back of a truck....

Welcome to the forums. I hope you post many more. "

Thank You

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Picked chewing gum up off the path to eat because my mum wouldn't allow me to eat it

Someone had chewed it and spat it out

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By *wannafreakyou OP Man
over a year ago

london

"Picked chewing gum up off the path to eat because my mum wouldn't allow me to eat it

Someone had chewed it and spat it out "

Nah that’s funny

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

I don’t know where to start with this one.

I think our constant attempts to loop-the-loop on the swings probably wins it.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

I remember wondering what it would feel like to squeeze some toothpaste up my willy, like actually inside. Well I didn't have to wonder very long because curiosity got the better of me. Interesting, but I'd not recommend it.

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

Too many to list. Many of them involved journeys to Birmingham Accident Hospital, stitches, casts etc. today they would have social services involved but it was all just growing up accidents eg

Playing football with a drink can,4 stitches in my face

Fell over , darning needle dropped by mom, in leg, attempted to remove it but it had gone in backwards so pulling the wool snapped it inside.

Operation and stitches.

So many more.

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