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Any ladies with a love for the larger gentleman?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m just shy of 6 foot tall and 24 stone. I’m not “proud” of my larger size but I try not to feel ashamed of it either. Also I’m neurodivergent so apologies for the essay if you’re not into reading but you don’t need to tell me to say less. ??

I’ve also been a bigger guy my entire adult life and I’ve had wonderfully attractive, younger, slimmer women who have been attracted to me as I am and who have had the pleasure of knowing how wonderfully attentive I can be.

However small the population of women who like older bigger guys is, they are out there. Either that or I’m simply meeting sapiosexual women who can connect with me on an intellectual/emotional level and for whom my body shape/size is not important.

Either way I’m intrigued to open up the conversation because it seems that big beautiful women are fetishised and desirable but big beautiful men much less so. As a larger guy I can tell you there is no equality in this area.

Even if you look at the availability of men’s fashion choices in plus sizes vs women’s fashion choices. Women claim the fight for plus size clothing is a nightmare but these women haven’t tried to find men’s clothes in a 4XL that aren’t unbranded, unflattering and unstylish. Even something as simple as a suit requires you to look at the same limited brands that offer larger sizes.

It’s a personal dream of mine to one day slim down enough to be able to buy myself a simple black Hugo Boss suit with a bold red lining. Sadly being an overweight guy is just not commercially acceptable. I honestly wonder how household name brands aren’t being dragged over hot coals for only providing their clothes up to an XL in most cases. It feels like they don’t want their brand to be worn by larger guys. I love adidas originals clothing for example but finding anything in a 4XL is nigh on impossible. You can find a limited amount of adidas performance clothing in a larger size but that’s not my jam and it really does feel like the brand are saying, you can wear out clothing if you’re down to workout fatty but not to be fashionable.

Rant over but please be kind in the responses. I’m not putting myself out there to be attacked/bullied for being bigger. Quite the opposite. Would be nice to see if there’s some appreciation for the larger guys out there.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Your second paragraph seems to have answered your very last point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm generally not into guys who post ranty threads, no matter what their size.

Fab is a shallow site. Bodies matter. C'est la vie.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That has sent me in a very confused loop of ADHD executive dysfunction. However I think what you’re saying is that the attention I’ve already received confirms that there is indeed an appreciation for bigger guys. However I’m not denying that they are “out there”, just that they don’t appear to be very forthcoming on FAB. ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It feels like a discussion, not a rant.

I think men are more likely to fetishise women than women are of men. Men and women may experience sexual attraction differently.

The clothes issue is probably the same for both. There are specialised shops for big men and women. But mainstream shops only have a very small selection that stops at certain sizes. Likely because they are catering to the majority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"*That has sent me in a very confused loop of ADHD executive dysfunction.*

However I think what you’re saying is that the attention I’ve already received confirms that there is indeed an appreciation for bigger guys. However I’m not denying that they are “out there”, just that they don’t appear to be very forthcoming on FAB. ??"

* What does this mean? Apologies if you can't describe it, ignore my question.

The majority of women on Fab aren't very forthcoming or forward because they don't need to be. There's hundreds of every type of man. If they are actually looking to meet (most aren't) they may choose any of the other 99 men. It doesn't mean you're not attractive to them, it just means they can't meet so many men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It feels like a discussion, not a rant.

I think men are more likely to fetishise women than women are of men. Men and women may experience sexual attraction differently.

The clothes issue is probably the same for both. There are specialised shops for big men and women. But mainstream shops only have a very small selection that stops at certain sizes. Likely because they are catering to the majority. "

Ranty whinge? I'm really bored with men and their ranty whinges this week.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire


"It feels like a discussion, not a rant.

I think men are more likely to fetishise women than women are of men. Men and women may experience sexual attraction differently.

The clothes issue is probably the same for both. There are specialised shops for big men and women. But mainstream shops only have a very small selection that stops at certain sizes. Likely because they are catering to the majority.

Ranty whinge? I'm really bored with men and their ranty whinges this week. "
.. i can honestly say ive not had a rant or whinge this week,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It feels like a discussion, not a rant.

I think men are more likely to fetishise women than women are of men. Men and women may experience sexual attraction differently.

The clothes issue is probably the same for both. There are specialised shops for big men and women. But mainstream shops only have a very small selection that stops at certain sizes. Likely because they are catering to the majority.

Ranty whinge? I'm really bored with men and their ranty whinges this week. .. i can honestly say ive not had a rant or whinge this week,,"

Must I? Sigh. #notallmen

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sorry if you found it ranty. It wasn’t (and isn’t ever) intended to be at all. My ADHD means I struggle to discern what is/isn’t important information and the result is usually a very wordy, unfiltered, inner monologue style of writing. Apparently it stems from a lifetime of people telling me I’m not good enough (due to my ADHD), which spurs a tendency to now over explain in an effort to be understood.

Shallow people are everywhere I get that. I’m not suggesting they aren’t or even that they shouldn’t be and I’m a smart guy (believe it or not), I get that the nature of FAB would mean that it is to be expected that many people are here looking for what is quintessentially visually appealing and for many that’s someone who takes care of their body and is physically fit. However the point of my post is to say that there’s no accounting for taste and until about 4 years ago, I couldn’t fathom that anyone who was attractive in normative terms would want someone with a body like mine… until… they did… and it blew my frickin’ mind…

My post is not intended to invite any form of dismissive comments though. Seems a little unnecessary to take the time to tell me you don’t appreciate my style of writing or my body type when I effectively requested people not to simply come body shame me, as I am by the very nature of my being a sensitive person and it is this sensitivity that also makes me incredible intuitive when it comes to pleasing others too.

I’m much more interested in hearing from people who do appreciate someone like me than those who don’t but thanks for taking the time to comment I guess.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

It's the man that matters not his size, if I'm interested in the man I'll like his size.

Mrs

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire


"Sorry if you found it ranty. It wasn’t (and isn’t ever) intended to be at all. My ADHD means I struggle to discern what is/isn’t important information and the result is usually a very wordy, unfiltered, inner monologue style of writing. Apparently it stems from a lifetime of people telling me I’m not good enough (due to my ADHD), which spurs a tendency to now over explain in an effort to be understood.

Shallow people are everywhere I get that. I’m not suggesting they aren’t or even that they shouldn’t be and I’m a smart guy (believe it or not), I get that the nature of FAB would mean that it is to be expected that many people are here looking for what is quintessentially visually appealing and for many that’s someone who takes care of their body and is physically fit. However the point of my post is to say that there’s no accounting for taste and until about 4 years ago, I couldn’t fathom that anyone who was attractive in normative terms would want someone with a body like mine… until… they did… and it blew my frickin’ mind…

My post is not intended to invite any form of dismissive comments though. Seems a little unnecessary to take the time to tell me you don’t appreciate my style of writing or my body type when I effectively requested people not to simply come body shame me, as I am by the very nature of my being a sensitive person and it is this sensitivity that also makes me incredible intuitive when it comes to pleasing others too.

I’m much more interested in hearing from people who do appreciate someone like me than those who don’t but thanks for taking the time to comment I guess."
... your not ranting op just ignore odd negative remark

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry if you found it ranty. It wasn’t (and isn’t ever) intended to be at all. My ADHD means I struggle to discern what is/isn’t important information and the result is usually a very wordy, unfiltered, inner monologue style of writing. Apparently it stems from a lifetime of people telling me I’m not good enough (due to my ADHD), which spurs a tendency to now over explain in an effort to be understood.

Shallow people are everywhere I get that. I’m not suggesting they aren’t or even that they shouldn’t be and I’m a smart guy (believe it or not), I get that the nature of FAB would mean that it is to be expected that many people are here looking for what is quintessentially visually appealing and for many that’s someone who takes care of their body and is physically fit. However the point of my post is to say that there’s no accounting for taste and until about 4 years ago, I couldn’t fathom that anyone who was attractive in normative terms would want someone with a body like mine… until… they did… and it blew my frickin’ mind…

My post is not intended to invite any form of dismissive comments though. Seems a little unnecessary to take the time to tell me you don’t appreciate my style of writing or my body type when I effectively requested people not to simply come body shame me, as I am by the very nature of my being a sensitive person and it is this sensitivity that also makes me incredible intuitive when it comes to pleasing others too.

I’m much more interested in hearing from people who do appreciate someone like me than those who don’t but thanks for taking the time to comment I guess."

You yourself referred to it as a rant. I didn't bodyshame you. I didn't mention your body type. I merely said it's a shallow site. Larger guys can struggle because of this and the men:women ratio. But the personality you show on the forum will affect how women respond.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

I'm always banging the drum for big guys!! Wouldn't say I fetishize them as such but I am massively attracted to that body type. Of course what's inside counts too of course - Xeno

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Executive dysfunction is the main difficulty with ADHD. It’s a very poorly named condition as it’s not that I can’t pay attention to things, simply that I can only pay attention to things that interest me and when I am interested I will hyperfocus on that thing and struggle to pay attention to anything else even if it actually requires my attention.

Executive dysfunction describes ADHDers inability to sometimes digest and comprehend something because it requires things like good short term memory (which we don’t have). Like for example you could give me directions from A to B that was as simple as 4/5 directions of turn left, turn right etc. I would struggle to remember those directions. However if you give directions that include more visual prompts like turn left at the big red post box or something, it’s easier for my brain to remember stuff because it helps stimulate my ability to remember things visually. Same way I can never remember names (like you could tell me it 20 seconds ago and I’ll forget) but I never forget a familiar face. There’s lot’s of examples of it out there but broadly speaking it means I’m kinda forgetful, disorganised and can struggle to digest some things depending on how they’re presented to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Executive dysfunction is the main difficulty with ADHD. It’s a very poorly named condition as it’s not that I can’t pay attention to things, simply that I can only pay attention to things that interest me and when I am interested I will hyperfocus on that thing and struggle to pay attention to anything else even if it actually requires my attention.

Executive dysfunction describes ADHDers inability to sometimes digest and comprehend something because it requires things like good short term memory (which we don’t have). Like for example you could give me directions from A to B that was as simple as 4/5 directions of turn left, turn right etc. I would struggle to remember those directions. However if you give directions that include more visual prompts like turn left at the big red post box or something, it’s easier for my brain to remember stuff because it helps stimulate my ability to remember things visually. Same way I can never remember names (like you could tell me it 20 seconds ago and I’ll forget) but I never forget a familiar face. There’s lot’s of examples of it out there but broadly speaking it means I’m kinda forgetful, disorganised and can struggle to digest some things depending on how they’re presented to me."

Thank you, that's really interesting, informative and useful. Genuinely.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You’re right sorry. I did use the word Rant in my original post. Was used tongue in cheek though sorry. I probably said it because I know how my wordy responses often get interpreted. ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you use the Reply + quote button we will know who you are replying to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Executive dysfunction is the main difficulty with ADHD. It’s a very poorly named condition as it’s not that I can’t pay attention to things, simply that I can only pay attention to things that interest me and when I am interested I will hyperfocus on that thing and struggle to pay attention to anything else even if it actually requires my attention.

Executive dysfunction describes ADHDers inability to sometimes digest and comprehend something because it requires things like good short term memory (which we don’t have). Like for example you could give me directions from A to B that was as simple as 4/5 directions of turn left, turn right etc. I would struggle to remember those directions. However if you give directions that include more visual prompts like turn left at the big red post box or something, it’s easier for my brain to remember stuff because it helps stimulate my ability to remember things visually. Same way I can never remember names (like you could tell me it 20 seconds ago and I’ll forget) but I never forget a familiar face. There’s lot’s of examples of it out there but broadly speaking it means I’m kinda forgetful, disorganised and can struggle to digest some things depending on how they’re presented to me."

It also applies to managing tasks and so forth doesn't it? Someone with ADHD may find figuring out what sub-tasks are needed to accomplish a broad task and in what order quite tricky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You’re right sorry. I did use the word Rant in my original post. Was used tongue in cheek though sorry. I probably said it because I know how my wordy responses often get interpreted. ??"

No worries

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you use the Reply + quote button we will know who you are replying to. "

Noted. Testing testing. Mic check. One two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish my adhd would let me write that much. I get bored after a couple of sentences and wander off

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"I'm generally not into guys who post ranty threads, no matter what their size.

Fab is a shallow site. Bodies matter. C'est la vie. "

It doesn't read as ranting to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you use the Reply + quote button we will know who you are replying to.

Noted. Testing testing. Mic check. One two. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It also applies to managing tasks and so forth doesn't it? Someone with ADHD may find figuring out what sub-tasks are needed to accomplish a broad task and in what order quite tricky. "

Yeah. I took a new type of job on at work 4 years ago and went from being at the top of my game to really struggling to manage my workload. However I can’t bring myself to take a “back step” in my career even though the old work is so much more suited to the way my brain works.

Time management and organisation and identification of tasks and managing those tasks is a nightmare. However if someone/something else manages the tasks and drip feeds them to me I can motor through stuff like a machine. It’s mad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I myself don't have physical preferences like that. I like who I like, if I find them attractive to me and I can connect with them then yes absolutely. Their body type/ cock size etc makes no difference to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Executive dysfunction is the main difficulty with ADHD. It’s a very poorly named condition as it’s not that I can’t pay attention to things, simply that I can only pay attention to things that interest me and when I am interested I will hyperfocus on that thing and struggle to pay attention to anything else even if it actually requires my attention.

Executive dysfunction describes ADHDers inability to sometimes digest and comprehend something because it requires things like good short term memory (which we don’t have). Like for example you could give me directions from A to B that was as simple as 4/5 directions of turn left, turn right etc. I would struggle to remember those directions. However if you give directions that include more visual prompts like turn left at the big red post box or something, it’s easier for my brain to remember stuff because it helps stimulate my ability to remember things visually. Same way I can never remember names (like you could tell me it 20 seconds ago and I’ll forget) but I never forget a familiar face. There’s lot’s of examples of it out there but broadly speaking it means I’m kinda forgetful, disorganised and can struggle to digest some things depending on how they’re presented to me."

You explained this beautifully, my son has adhd and you just literally explained him.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I don't think it's ranting, just a neurodiverse stream of consciousness which, hey, I recognise and do.

I think there are women on here who are interested in bigger men or don't give a fuck about a man's size. I also think, like Outsider said, men *can* sexualise aspects of a woman in a way the majority of women wouldn't necessarily do to men (yes, I know there are size queens).

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wish my adhd would let me write that much. I get bored after a couple of sentences and wander off "

I think it can depend on the type of ADHD you have too but you’d probably be surprised as usually the topic simply needs to be something you’re genuinely interested and knowledgable in and then you can talk or write for hours about it.

ADHD itself amongst other things has become like my mastermind specialist subject since I got my diagnosis last year. It blows my mind how it has infected every avenue of my life and I still discover things that I do now that are atypically very ADHD. Indeed being a bigger guy is linked to my ADHD because that affects my ability to work out and cook/eat healthy meals because I genuinely find neither thing interesting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't think it's ranting, just a neurodiverse stream of consciousness which, hey, I recognise and do.

I think there are women on here who are interested in bigger men or don't give a fuck about a man's size. I also think, like Outsider said, men *can* sexualise aspects of a woman in a way the majority of women wouldn't necessarily do to men (yes, I know there are size queens)."

Oh yeah. Let’s not even go down the dick size debate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I myself don't have physical preferences like that. I like who I like, if I find them attractive to me and I can connect with them then yes absolutely. Their body type/ cock size etc makes no difference to me.

"

I’m the same entirely. Even though I’m a guy and I certainly do have some visual preferences… I sometimes shame myself for being greedy because I just love women of all shapes and sizes and hair colours and ages. I always used to get grief off one of my mates because I liked bigger girls but it wasn’t a preference at all, I just didn’t exclude them from the spectrum of women that I found attractive and they found it amusing to pigeon hole me as someone who liked bigger girls, when I absolutely didn’t.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Executive dysfunction is the main difficulty with ADHD. It’s a very poorly named condition as it’s not that I can’t pay attention to things, simply that I can only pay attention to things that interest me and when I am interested I will hyperfocus on that thing and struggle to pay attention to anything else even if it actually requires my attention.

Executive dysfunction describes ADHDers inability to sometimes digest and comprehend something because it requires things like good short term memory (which we don’t have). Like for example you could give me directions from A to B that was as simple as 4/5 directions of turn left, turn right etc. I would struggle to remember those directions. However if you give directions that include more visual prompts like turn left at the big red post box or something, it’s easier for my brain to remember stuff because it helps stimulate my ability to remember things visually. Same way I can never remember names (like you could tell me it 20 seconds ago and I’ll forget) but I never forget a familiar face. There’s lot’s of examples of it out there but broadly speaking it means I’m kinda forgetful, disorganised and can struggle to digest some things depending on how they’re presented to me.

You explained this beautifully, my son has adhd and you just literally explained him. "

I have a son who is seemingly AuDHD (undiagnosed) and he’s way more complex than me and I only discovered my own neurodivergence when researching and trying to better understand his.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Executive dysfunction is the main difficulty with ADHD. It’s a very poorly named condition as it’s not that I can’t pay attention to things, simply that I can only pay attention to things that interest me and when I am interested I will hyperfocus on that thing and struggle to pay attention to anything else even if it actually requires my attention.

Executive dysfunction describes ADHDers inability to sometimes digest and comprehend something because it requires things like good short term memory (which we don’t have). Like for example you could give me directions from A to B that was as simple as 4/5 directions of turn left, turn right etc. I would struggle to remember those directions. However if you give directions that include more visual prompts like turn left at the big red post box or something, it’s easier for my brain to remember stuff because it helps stimulate my ability to remember things visually. Same way I can never remember names (like you could tell me it 20 seconds ago and I’ll forget) but I never forget a familiar face. There’s lot’s of examples of it out there but broadly speaking it means I’m kinda forgetful, disorganised and can struggle to digest some things depending on how they’re presented to me."

This is interesting. Thank you taking the time to explain it.

I’m curious, and by no means so you need to answer. You struggle with short term memory. Do you have the ability to expertly record things to a long term memory?

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By *hromosexualsCouple
over a year ago

Near Abercynon

I would imagine that your size is a bigger issue to you than it is to others, and that may well come across in how you present yourself.

I understand that because I'm the same.

I've posted on here a few times about the struggle of losing weight, I've always found it quite hard to do. One of my issues is that I kid myself that because I'm a naturally big built guy, I can carry it off OK but that's a bit of bravado I think because I don't really feel that inside.

At the start of August I joined Slimming World... that's been a game changer for me. Yes, I've lost weight (31.5lbs so far) but it has changed my whole outlook. I'm a big guy, I'm a fat guy, but I'm 10 times more confident... I'm eating well, I've given up booze, I'm in the gym most days, I swim. I feel really positive.

So, seek out the clothes (Bad Rhino, Built Different, Big Dude Clothing etc), but if you want to lose weight then I'd definitely recommend trying Slimming World.

Apologies for being a bit evangelical on your thread!

Mr.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

This is interesting. Thank you taking the time to explain it.

I’m curious, and by no means so you need to answer. You struggle with short term memory. Do you have the ability to expertly record things to a long term memory? "

I’d say I have little to no control over what I’m able to commit to long term memory and I know that whilst I was able to do it expertly as a kid it’s just not at all like that now. For example song lyrics. Can remember the lyrics to all the songs I loved until I was a teenager but any new music, no matter how much I love I can’t remember lyrics for love nor money. The tunes though I’m much better at and I was very musical growing up so have an ear for beats, rhythm and melodies but have just always been pretty bad with lyrics. It’s weird.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would imagine that your size is a bigger issue to you than it is to others, and that may well come across in how you present yourself.

I understand that because I'm the same.

I've posted on here a few times about the struggle of losing weight, I've always found it quite hard to do. One of my issues is that I kid myself that because I'm a naturally big built guy, I can carry it off OK but that's a bit of bravado I think because I don't really feel that inside.

At the start of August I joined Slimming World... that's been a game changer for me. Yes, I've lost weight (31.5lbs so far) but it has changed my whole outlook. I'm a big guy, I'm a fat guy, but I'm 10 times more confident... I'm eating well, I've given up booze, I'm in the gym most days, I swim. I feel really positive.

So, seek out the clothes (Bad Rhino, Built Different, Big Dude Clothing etc), but if you want to lose weight then I'd definitely recommend trying Slimming World.

Apologies for being a bit evangelical on your thread!

Mr.

"

Thanks for the reply. I’m actually intentionally steering clear of any kind of commercial weight loss programs. Over the years I’ve done WW, Slimming World, Slim Fast, Cambridge Diet, Exante and more… and you know what every single one I had success with until it lost it’s novelty and that’s because the issue isn’t what I’m putting into my body (I mean it is) but the fact that I have difficulty sticking to any of these things and that’s because establishing healthy habits and routines is really difficult for people with ADHD.

I do have a stack of built different T-shirts though. I do like them, even if they are a bit plain tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think most men struggle on here regardless of their physical appearance. I don’t have a body type preference. I like men of all shapes and sizes, it comes down to facial attraction and personality for me.

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By *hromosexualsCouple
over a year ago

Near Abercynon


"Over the years I’ve done WW, Slimming World, Slim Fast, Cambridge Diet, Exante and more… and you know what every single one I had success with until it lost it’s novelty and that’s because the issue isn’t what I’m putting into my body (I mean it is) but the fact that I have difficulty sticking to any of these things and that’s because establishing healthy habits and routines is really difficult for people with ADHD.

"

Yes, that makes sense. I think for me and my mindset I need the routine of going somewhere every week and weighing in... it keeps me focused and I've not had that in the past.

Lots of people will say that body shape isn't up there on what the find attractive, and I can believe that. I think the trick is feeling comfortable in your own skin first.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes, that makes sense. I think for me and my mindset I need the routine of going somewhere every week and weighing in... it keeps me focused and I've not had that in the past.

Lots of people will say that body shape isn't up there on what the find attractive, and I can believe that. I think the trick is feeling comfortable in your own skin first."

Routine and accountability are huge and I found WW and SW good for that but I think they both fail to recognise that for some forming and breaking habits requires more than willpower and I don’t think they have clocked that in those kinds of programmes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think most men struggle on here regardless of their physical appearance. I don’t have a body type preference. I like men of all shapes and sizes, it comes down to facial attraction and personality for me. "

This is why I thought it would be good to post on here and give myself a chance to converse with other FAB members because firing off DMs to people I’m attracted to hasn’t been fruitful at all. ??

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Some people find things more difficult than others do. It's not fair, but that's just the way life is. I personally prefer to confront and fight against the things that hold me back, rather than just say well I've got this excuse so it just is what it is.

I've been lucky with good genes that let me get away with being a neurospicy weirdo to a large degree. I'm far from everyone's tastes either physically or mentally, but I'm in a place where I'm actually happy with me, and I find that happiness and confidence does a lot more for attracting interesting people than my looks do

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle


"Sorry if you found it ranty. It wasn’t (and isn’t ever) intended to be at all. My ADHD means I struggle to discern what is/isn’t important information and the result is usually a very wordy, unfiltered, inner monologue style of writing. Apparently it stems from a lifetime of people telling me I’m not good enough (due to my ADHD), which spurs a tendency to now over explain in an effort to be understood.

Shallow people are everywhere I get that. I’m not suggesting they aren’t or even that they shouldn’t be and I’m a smart guy (believe it or not), I get that the nature of FAB would mean that it is to be expected that many people are here looking for what is quintessentially visually appealing and for many that’s someone who takes care of their body and is physically fit. However the point of my post is to say that there’s no accounting for taste and until about 4 years ago, I couldn’t fathom that anyone who was attractive in normative terms would want someone with a body like mine… until… they did… and it blew my frickin’ mind…

My post is not intended to invite any form of dismissive comments though. Seems a little unnecessary to take the time to tell me you don’t appreciate my style of writing or my body type when I effectively requested people not to simply come body shame me, as I am by the very nature of my being a sensitive person and it is this sensitivity that also makes me incredible intuitive when it comes to pleasing others too.

I’m much more interested in hearing from people who do appreciate someone like me than those who don’t but thanks for taking the time to comment I guess.

You yourself referred to it as a rant. I didn't bodyshame you. I didn't mention your body type. I merely said it's a shallow site. Larger guys can struggle because of this and the men:women ratio. But the personality you show on the forum will affect how women respond. "

Thats me fucked then - or Not fucked ever again as it happens

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some people find things more difficult than others do. It's not fair, but that's just the way life is. I personally prefer to confront and fight against the things that hold me back, rather than just say well I've got this excuse so it just is what it is.

I've been lucky with good genes that let me get away with being a neurospicy weirdo to a large degree. I'm far from everyone's tastes either physically or mentally, but I'm in a place where I'm actually happy with me, and I find that happiness and confidence does a lot more for attracting interesting people than my looks do "

I find people can use reason and excuse fairly interchangeably depending on whether you’re interested in trying to understand someone or not. I’m still only 18 months after my diagnosis so for me I’m still learning a lot about how things impact me and trying to put an end to some of the things I’ve allowed people to do to me for years. I tolerated so much because I felt like I was worth so little and now I’m starting to better understand and appreciate my worth and value in the world and it’s amazing how many people reeeeeeally don’t like it when you start doing that because they lose the ability to manipulate and control you!!!

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

Im a big guy,women either will or won't but its on me to change not them x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Im a big guy,women either will or won't but its on me to change not them x"

Why is it on you to change? It is if you want to change of course but you don’t have to if you’re happy as you are.

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