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How are you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How are you?

When is the last time someone asked you that. And they actually wanted to know? Because I can’t wait to sit with someone that asks me that and actually wanted to know and wanted to help me. Because Im not okay.

If I told my friends ‘actually I brake down and cry, in fact yesterday I cried in my bedroom and found only 2 reasons that I feel proud to be alive for.’ Because I feel that nobody actually gets me and if I didn’t exist, people wouldn’t give a shit. Except my 2 jkids. And that feeling has been with me for over 2 years. And im struggling right now. To the point I post this shit on a swinging website just to air it. A site I come to because I struggle to feel alone although I don’t go out because I don’t want to do the people thing. Because I pretend to my friends im fine. And my self inflicted problems are just drama in their lives they don’t need. Should I put this on my profile. Like a warning?

So tell me. How are you. Please lighten my day and tell me good news.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm sorry your struggling woody, I'm not in the best place myself, but I'm a good listener/reader and our inbox is always open to you.

It's hard feeling like no one gets you but I'm sure there is many that do.

It's good to break down every so often and let it all out.

You would be missed probably more than you realise, but I totally relate to what your saying.

I'm not good at the talking stuff, it's brilliant that you've posted this.

And again, inbox is open even if you just want to rant, need a meme or the Mr may even allow a tit, probably just the 1 & the one with the nip hair but still they seem to cheer up the men folk.

Your one of the good ones woody.

Mrs

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

I am feeling much better after about 10 days of feeling low.

I am sorry that you are feeling so low OP.

I highly recommend Melanie Tonia Evans. Releasing the trauma has transformed my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big love homie.

I hope you’re ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone asked me yesterday. She’s a gem.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Sincere warm thoughts to you Woody

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Sending hugs Woody. And ring me anytime you want. Because I always ask how you are and mean it

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By *KTim61Man
over a year ago

Tipton

I suffer with depression & Anxiety but when ever I write a message to anyone I always ask how are you ? Just being g Polite, but I've read that some dont like it ? What's peoples problem?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry, Woody. I'm sorry you have all this positivity here and you don't grant yourself a little of it - because you deserve that. I think your friends would hate to think you were this unhappy. It's hard to reach out, but it will be worth it

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By *NGthe2ndWoman
over a year ago

Here and there

I met you once at the MLS years ago and honestly Woody, I would love to sit and genuinely listen to what you have to say.

Not all of us, in fact I'd say a lot of the forum are on here for more than just flirting. People genuinely love to get to know others, no more so than in here.

Feel free to scatter my inbox with ramblings and all sorts of stories. Sometimes it's better to let everything go to someone you don't really know well.

As long as you promise to strum that guitar a little, I never did get to hear that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/09/23 17:30:18]

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Damn Woody I had no idea you were feeling this way. This morning I think and yesterday, I would have to double check my phone. I am glad of that for sure. I am good thank you.

You clearly have support here, I hope you see that. You should reach out. I have even on here and got support.

I think it is really important for people to have some space to express themselves, so I really admire your courage speaking out. I for one hope it encourages others to too. Positivity is a great thing, but it can be toxic too.

It's cPTSD for me and ADHD doesn't help. I tell people once I get to know them a little. I don't think you have to advertise any issues to the world. Have you sought any help professionally?

There's a whole bunch of lighhearted threads here: you know that you start some of them and many of them I love.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Today Woody

I hope you find your people, who will do the same for you soon.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Hey Woody. It takes a lot to open up on here and I think it's brilliant you've got a safe space to do so. If you didn't exist? People would give a shit. Never think otherwise. Hopefully this thread has reminded you of that.

My fiancé asks me how I'm doing frequently. I've got some beautiful chaotic friends in my life who ask me because they care a lot. Lovers who care and check in on me. I'm not going to waffle on about how I am because it's not the right place for it.

But in brief? I'm good. More than.

I'll be 34 soon. And I'm growing in confidence and genuine happiness every day. Today has been exactly what I needed.

And to lighten the mood, it could be worse. You could be ageing like milk to quote a friend. You're not.

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By *ake_or_deathMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Hey Woody, we've not really interacted but I just wanted to say that it's great you've managed to open up about how you're feeling, sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers than friends but it's still good for you to get these things out.

I have also found it difficult to talk about when I'm feeling low in my life, but in recent years have realised which friends I feel comfortable with sharing these things because I know they'll listen even if they can't change anything. I don't know about your life but if you can open up to someone you trust it can be a great release.

If it's been going on for a long time and you don't think you can talk to any friends, then maybe it's time to consider speaking to an organisation like CALM for advice, or to your GP to see if you can get a referral for a counsellor or therapist - but that's something you have to feel ready for.

However you decide to move forward, I hope things improve for you soon.

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By *ocktoplaywithMan
over a year ago

Derby

There’s nothing wrong with posting this on a swingers website because it’s a way of sharing and talking. Note how I didn’t call it “this shit” as it isn’t shit, it’s a post from the heart and if anyone thinks different they need to get a grip themselves.

Getting stuff out in the open and talking about it, whether it be by phone, texts, in person, or on a website is a great way of dealing with it rather than bottling it up in yourself.

I’ve felt very down too recently, but I do find this is a great site to read various posts, interact with others, and it often makes me feel better in myself.

Like all the others above, I’ll be thinking of you and sending hugs.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Sorry, don't really have any good news this week. It's an absolute shit show

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk. Talk until you run out of words.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There’s nothing wrong with posting this on a swingers website because it’s a way of sharing and talking. Note how I didn’t call it “this shit” as it isn’t shit, it’s a post from the heart and if anyone thinks different they need to get a grip themselves.

Getting stuff out in the open and talking about it, whether it be by phone, texts, in person, or on a website is a great way of dealing with it rather than bottling it up in yourself.

I’ve felt very down too recently, but I do find this is a great site to read various posts, interact with others, and it often makes me feel better in myself.

Like all the others above, I’ll be thinking of you and sending hugs. "

I relate to this a lot. That’s why I posted. I’m not unique. I know others are dealing with their own stuff.

I felt like this in what feels like a long time agon now. And it’s happening again. I can’t bottle this up. Nobody should have to feel this way. My heart goes out to anyone who feels like this and don’t speak up and deals with it alone. Because I feel I can’t. I’ll be fine. I know I’ll be fine because I want to be. It’s just a matter of time.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I'm sorry you are in such a bad place. Finding a reason and the strength to go on can be super tough. So just look for things that can make you smile, that can make the next minute more bearable. Then let thos odd moments blend together. This may mean you may have whole days which are kinda ok. You can do it for your kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s nothing wrong with posting this on a swingers website because it’s a way of sharing and talking. Note how I didn’t call it “this shit” as it isn’t shit, it’s a post from the heart and if anyone thinks different they need to get a grip themselves.

Getting stuff out in the open and talking about it, whether it be by phone, texts, in person, or on a website is a great way of dealing with it rather than bottling it up in yourself.

I’ve felt very down too recently, but I do find this is a great site to read various posts, interact with others, and it often makes me feel better in myself.

Like all the others above, I’ll be thinking of you and sending hugs.

I relate to this a lot. That’s why I posted. I’m not unique. I know others are dealing with their own stuff.

I felt like this in what feels like a long time agon now. And it’s happening again. I can’t bottle this up. Nobody should have to feel this way. My heart goes out to anyone who feels like this and don’t speak up and deals with it alone. Because I feel I can’t. I’ll be fine. I know I’ll be fine because I want to be. It’s just a matter of time. "

Kate Bottley, Twitter

@revkatebottley

May 5, 2020

"In case you need it: Sadness is not competitive. Just because there are ‘others worse off’ it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel down. You don’t need to look on the bright side or be glass half full, it’s ok to want to throw the glass against the wall."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm sorry you are in such a bad place. Finding a reason and the strength to go on can be super tough. So just look for things that can make you smile, ….. "

I like this. I do this. thank you for the reminders.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending love Woody. You would be missed by very many more people than you could ever imagine. X

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

It's just a polite thing to say for most people.

I say it myself because I'm interested in how they actually are.

Otherwise, I say how was your day or wazzup!!

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

[Removed by poster at 20/09/23 19:42:35]

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Sorry your feeling this way! Big hugs! Xx

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I'm sorry you are in such a bad place. Finding a reason and the strength to go on can be super tough. So just look for things that can make you smile, …..

I like this. I do this. thank you for the reminders. "

One day at a time Woody. That's the way to go. I've been up and down like a rollercoaster of late. From the highs of the socials and meeting people to the lows of isolation and things happening beyond my control. It's hard to know whether you're coming or going at times. But there's always a reason to keep trying. The trick is when you're on a low to find some kind of distraction.

I've done that via here and though people offline. There are no end of people who'd be happy if you reached out, me included. There are always people willing to listen and just let you vent.

Chin up dude.

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By *orfolkNewbieMan
over a year ago

Norfolk


"So tell me. How are you. Please lighten my day and tell me good news. "

Well, you've pretty much just said it exactly for me

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

You ran a successful social - do you know how many people can pull that off? Only people who can chat to anyone and everyone can pull off a big social, so the fact you did shows how liked you are on the forums.

I don’t know you or what you are going through but I’ve seen you post some negative stuff. Then some really positive stuff too so clearly your mood swings and maybe just recognising the triggers for those will help you. And realising how you only need your kids love to get by.

I’m out of work at the moment, having to move away from my son, trying to pack/sell stuff to keep money coming in and also arrange space at C’s for my stuff. I’m also selling a house in Liverpool, that’s just come out of negative equity and so after 15 years of having it I’ll end up with not much money.

My son, bless him, instead of being sad I won’t be round the corner now has said how excited he is that myself and C are moving in together and he can live nearer to the sea (C lives near the coast).

I’m thinking if he can be positive about it then so should I. A change in perspective sometimes can change your mood. Be kind to yourself.

K

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Eeyore was loved by his friends even though he was depressed xx

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

No idea - because it never happens

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Sorry to hear you're not having a good time, Woody. I have no answers and others here know you much better than I do, but two reasons to feel proud are better than no reason. And what important reasons they are!

It's trite, but true - but it's ok not to be ok, so give yourself a break. But I do hope you're going to ask for some professional help too, as well as all of us gentleman amateurs, hard as it is.

Hope you're feeling better soon, but remember that in this tiny corner of the world we call Fab, you have lots of friends and people value you, a lot!

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

Hey Woody

You post whatever the fook ( ) you want, wherever you want. The important thing is that you are sharing it.

I don't have any good advice to offer and I'm sorry foe that but I truly hope you can come out of this dark place.

Knitter kisses and Huggles

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Woody, you're not alone.

And you have got your two midgets who will always want you (even when they don't) and always need you (even when they don't want to) and always be your babies (even when they're old and grey).

You have people who care, who look for you and who notice when you aren't around. People are loathe to reach out online and send a message to check in if they've not really spoken to someone before. So more people probably think about doing it than actually do.

Hope that helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey Woody.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a tough time. The world can feel incredibly cold and lonely sometimes.

I think you're brave and strong for opening up and being so honest. I really hope you find some support. I know there will be people reading this who feel less alone because of you.

I know we have only ever had brief interactions but I'm always happy to listen.

We are all carrying around our invisible backpacks of feelings, experiences, struggles, joys and sadness. We all need to be a little kinder.

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