FabSwingers.com forum: I really want to scream!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Yes I do think about that. But if we do change how we behave, the shitheads win. We can’t allow others to steer us away from our own values, principles and moral compass.

OP, could you really change so drastically without losing all of the wonderful good stuff that is you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to hear it, PW. You seem a nice person. Wanna vent?

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

**opens arms fir a huggle**

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. I feel like that a lot.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm sorry to hear it, PW. You seem a nice person. Wanna vent?"

My god do I.

But I feel so utterly angered I'd just be vile.

Just tel me I'm not the only one that feels like they've been turned.

I'll cry when the anger subsides. I'll be fine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes. I feel like that a lot. "

It's really shit isn't it.

I just lose the will in an instant and hate humanity.

While at the same time thinking if I done that back to you you'd hate it.

Grrrrrr!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?"

Who has pissed down your back and told you its raining.

Well have them hung drawn and quarter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?"

The way people behave says one of two things

1. How they were raised

2. Their past traumas.

Neither of these are a reflection on yourself, however how you act is an indication of my 2 above points in your case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to hear it, PW. You seem a nice person. Wanna vent?

My god do I.

But I feel so utterly angered I'd just be vile.

Just tel me I'm not the only one that feels like they've been turned.

I'll cry when the anger subsides. I'll be fine. "

No. You're not the only one. Sometimes people are such dicks!

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By *aximus74Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?"

Yes...a lot..always someone wanting or needing me for something or other..then when I'm wanting or in need there's nobody to turn to.

I've learnt to do my own thing now and I'm only available when I'm not busy. The shock of me "not being available" is a shock to them.

I'm so much better for it though,we have to learn to say " no sorry,I'm busy then or not available"

It's hard at first but you do get used to it..its OK helping everyone else buy it doesn't help your own mental health/state.. believe me I've been there.

Go outside and scream,you will feel better for it.. x

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I often do, I feel like this right now.

I just want someone to tie me, pin me down and fuck senseless. It won’t help but I hope it will take the edge of how I feel.

Sorry you feel that way OP.

Hugs x

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Just remove shitheads from your life. Sometimes that sounds harder than it does to achieve

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By *aximus74Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

"Yes I do think about that. But if we do change how we behave, the shitheads win. We can’t allow others to steer us away from our own values, principles and moral compass.

OP, could you really change so drastically without losing all of the wonderful good stuff that is you?"

I did...and I didn't lose "me" ,if anything I found me again.

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By *panksspankedMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?"
I think we all go through this at times. It's not nice and difficult to cope with in the moment. Hopefully this isn't a permanent state and you find your way through it to the other side. Meantime just try to avoid unleashing everything on the wrong person

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

On FAB I kinda gave up putting in any serious effort for meets etc about a month or so ago. The pond kind of runs dry in a small city and Shire. It's not like London or the Hot bed of Swing (Midlands).

Here mainly for the forums and even they are turning a little darK.

Don't give up, just change it up a little. It could be worse. You could be a guy!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just remove shitheads from your life. Sometimes that sounds harder than it does to achieve "

I think I'd be left with no one and be a recluse!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"On FAB I kinda gave up putting in any serious effort for meets etc about a month or so ago. The pond kind of runs dry in a small city and Shire. It's not like London or the Hot bed of Swing (Midlands).

Here mainly for the forums and even they are turning a little darK.

Don't give up, just change it up a little. It could be worse. You could be a guy!"

Oh it's not all about fab.

It's just the same themes that keep coming.

If one more person doesn't stick to their word.

If one more person is avoidant.

If one person has one rule for them but a different one for me.

If one person lies.

If one person treats me like I'm just there for it when it benefits them

Fuck I'm angry!

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By *cotsguyyMan
over a year ago

Belfast and Fife

Biggest hugs to you. X

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"Just remove shitheads from your life. Sometimes that sounds harder than it does to achieve

I think I'd be left with no one and be a recluse!

Trust me, being a recluse is fucking peaceful.

As long as you get some friendship and intimacy from time to time you'll be fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes. I feel like that a lot.

It's really shit isn't it.

I just lose the will in an instant and hate humanity.

While at the same time thinking if I done that back to you you'd hate it.

Grrrrrr!"

I usually meditate.

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

Nope. Literally never. Life is too short so I just let that sort of stuff just pass on by me.

I'm sorry you're hurt OP

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet.

And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance.

Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though.

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By *ipsforlipsMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?"

Sadly it's all part of being human. I believe the anger we can feel comes from careing, maybe careing too much. But that's the rub, we do try because we do care, and when we care, there is no volume control.

When things don't turn out as we expected, or people don't act as we expected, it can leave us confused and frustrated. Sadly this is normal. Find somewhere to scream, go for a run, find something to hit, turn the music up - for me I apply any of the above to try and burn the agner out. As it goes I try to remember we are all human, and just because someone act as I do doesn't mean they don't care, it's just they care differently.

Most importantly remember the world is a better place because you care (it doesn't stop it feeling like shit sometimes, but it's better because we do care)

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though."

But if a tree falls in the forest and nobody’s around to hear it …

I dunno, feels like the whole point of throwing a tantrum is to be noticed. The point of screaming is to be heard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just remove shitheads from your life. Sometimes that sounds harder than it does to achieve

I think I'd be left with no one and be a recluse!

Trust me, being a recluse is fucking peaceful.

As long as you get some friendship and intimacy from time to time you'll be fine "

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I'm sorry to hear it, PW. You seem a nice person. Wanna vent?

My god do I.

But I feel so utterly angered I'd just be vile.

Just tel me I'm not the only one that feels like they've been turned.

I'll cry when the anger subsides. I'll be fine. "

Nah I never we fee like that

Just change your friends ! Join the nice people I’ll see if I can get you an invite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet.

And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance.

Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though."

There's a hill not far from me.

I drive to it. Usually I calm before I've finished the drive. Others times it's when I climb the hill. It's big and steep. I've never made it to the top and still felt the need to scream. I used to use that to measure how much something upset me. I haven't gone in years. But today I could. And I can't now. And it's also pissing down with rain annoyingly.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

I stopped doing it and really don't give a shit if they like it or not, I'm done

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm sorry to hear it, PW. You seem a nice person. Wanna vent?

My god do I.

But I feel so utterly angered I'd just be vile.

Just tel me I'm not the only one that feels like they've been turned.

I'll cry when the anger subsides. I'll be fine.

Nah I never we fee like that

Just change your friends ! Join the nice people I’ll see if I can get you an invite

Strangely, or maybe not so strangely I feel the urge to slap you and say wtf?.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?

Most importantly remember the world is a better place because you care (it doesn't stop it feeling like shit sometimes, but it's better because we do care) "

Yes my expectation is the problem.

But even if I stand there and say ok I no right to get upset because my expectation isn't being met I still can't help but feel the injustice of it all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I stopped doing it and really don't give a shit if they like it or not, I'm done

I can't quite bring myself to be ruthless enough about it. I feel like if I am I then become them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be a wanker

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

No. I don't let the bastards get me down.

I think I've blown my top 5 times in my life.

Two aimed at my husband and three at my son.

It takes a lot to get me to boiling point as I give up easily and shut off until I'm ready to deal with whatever it is that's being a dick.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

As the Matriarch of my family I am the person who gives and doesn't expect anything back except the company of my family and memories to take to my death bed.

I don't have friends

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes. And it's a crap feeling.

I refuse to become a wanker though. Devon's right, remove shitheads from your life. It's easier said than done but when it happens you're able to remember more about who you really are. And not feel that negative crossover of disappointment, hurt and anger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/09/23 15:49:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

PW you absolute wonderful human x I know you’re angry and upset with the situation you are facing but as it’s been said above you should try cut away the poison corroding your life

you may feel like a recluse but your true friends, family and anyone else will still be there after the storm, and again as said above, being a recluse is sooooooo refreshingly peaceful and you get to them rebuild with only the important people in your life

Ps go scream and get the glass out the recycling and smash shit out of it, safely xxx

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?"

It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"…..

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?"

Sometimes.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?

It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x "

Sounds pretty dixi chicks to me

Your not ready to make nice your not ready to back down

Your mad hell and don't have time to go round and round and round .

You

Tell em ladies .

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet.

And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance.

Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though.

There's a hill not far from me.

The rain helps with the screaming I find. I tend to stand in it and want to scream but the tears flow instead. Both can be cathartic.

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?

It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x

Sounds pretty dixi chicks to me

Your not ready to make nice your not ready to back down

Your mad hell and don't have time to go round and round and round .

You

Tell em ladies .

I bloody love Dixie Chicks

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?

It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x "

No more Mr nice guy ?

Thing is if you do are you any better than hem, maybe that’s what’s happened to them and they were too weak to keep their integrity

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm with you, can we scream together a scream partner sounds good.

Probably for opposite reasons though I'm feeling very useless at the moment, I wish I had more to give but I don't.

Mrs

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?

It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x

Sounds pretty dixi chicks to me

Your not ready to make nice your not ready to back down

Your mad hell and don't have time to go round and round and round .

You

Tell em ladies .

I bloody love Dixie Chicks"

We can listen to them when your feeding cookies and milk

While I hold your wool.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?

It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x

No more Mr nice guy ?

Thing is if you do are you any better than hem, maybe that’s what’s happened to them and they were too weak to keep their integrity "

They probably wouldn't notice the difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet.

And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance.

Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though.

There's a hill not far from me.

The rain helps with the screaming I find. I tend to stand in it and want to scream but the tears flow instead. Both can be cathartic."

I’ve not screamed or cried for a while. But it’s coming. It’s due very very soon.

I still feel like I don’t have a shoulder to cry in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My counsellor keeps asking me why I've accepted certain behaviours.

Some people you can't get rid of though. What do you do in that situation????

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

Here mainly for the forums and even they are turning a little darK.

Don't give up, just change it up a little. It could be worse. You could be a guy!

Oh it's not all about fab.

It's just the same themes that keep coming.

If one more person doesn't stick to their word.

If one more person is avoidant.

If one person has one rule for them but a different one for me.

If one person lies.

If one person treats me like I'm just there for it when it benefits them

Fuck I'm angry!

You are allowed to be angry! All emotions are valid. I highly suggest removing the people that don’t respect boundaries and whose feelings are more important than yours (to them anyway)

Yea you may end up quite alone for a while, but it’s worth it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My counsellor keeps asking me why I've accepted certain behaviours.

Some people you can't get rid of though. What do you do in that situation????"

I had to learn to forgive them. Stand up for myself when I can. Have conversations about relation dynamics moving forward.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet.

And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance.

Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though.

There's a hill not far from me.

So get a waterproof jacket on. In the pocket put a mini bottle of red wine and your favourite chocolate bar. Plug in your Spotify to your favourite chill out tunes and smash the hill. So what if it's raining. Even better when you get to the top and know you smashed it in bad weather. Then sit on your arse and eat the bar, drink the wine, smile, stick 2 fingers up at the world and descend.

Caveat. I did this last year in Winter without the wine. Fuckin horrendous weather. I slipped on the ice on the way down and fell on my hoop. I sat there, then laid back, laughed at myself and got to the bottom. I then had a cracking coffee from Starbucks.

Fuck the bad weather, fuck bad people. Smash it. People in wheelchairs would love to be able to do shit like this!

Best of luck. Tomorrow is another day.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet.

And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance.

Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though.

There's a hill not far from me.

Fuck the bad weather, fuck bad people. Smash it. People in wheelchairs would love to be able to do shit like this!

Best of luck. Tomorrow is another day."

I get the sentiment I do. But I can't leave the house now. Not till tomorrow. So I'm just sat here with my emotions feeling shit and venting in a forum.

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By *oecutterMan
over a year ago

Clonakilty

People will always treat you how you allow them to.

And getting angry at others’ behaviour is pointless because you have no control over it.

Tantrums are probably best left to children, religious extremists, and authoritarians.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet.

And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance.

Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though.

There's a hill not far from me.

Fuck the bad weather, fuck bad people. Smash it. People in wheelchairs would love to be able to do shit like this!

Best of luck. Tomorrow is another day.

I get the sentiment I do. But I can't leave the house now. Not till tomorrow. So I'm just sat here with my emotions feeling shit and venting in a forum."

Then you need to pull your friends close and have a good chat if that's possible. Not knowing the scenario makes it difficult for anyone to offer advice. Usually friends or family are the answer. Except when they are the problem of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep I’ve stopped being available to others … if they can get better then go for it

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

"People will always treat you how you allow them to.

And getting angry at others’ behaviour is pointless because you have no control over it.

Tantrums are probably best left to children, religious extremists, and authoritarians.

...and some of my old bosses!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read a Swedish town filled with mostly students has a collective scream from balconies at 10 pm every night as a 'much needed safety valve" from the stresses of life. Sounds good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An orgasm often helps when I feel like that. Or an orgasm, a cry and some chocolate! That's what I'm actually going to buy from the shops shortly. Not the orgasm, but the chocolate

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Yes I wonder why I bother sometimes.

I am sorry you are having one of those moments right now.

I certainly used to give more than I got back. Now you get out what you put in.

Consequently, I don't feel the urge to be an utter wanker to people. I can say that with conviction. It has helped a lot.

There is being nice and then there is being a doormat.

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet.

And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance.

Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though."

Best advice...bottom of garden and just let rip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I want to scream and I can't leave the house I look at cute videos with wombats etc on TikTok. Once I start smiling and saying awww, I've calmed down.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Aside from some family who I choose to make allowances for, I prefer to be with people where there's reciprocity in our interactions.

Maybe it's time to reassess your boundaries so that you can avoid feeling like this in the future

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Look after yourself first. Don’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with. Don’t be too available either as people will take advantage.

Make sure they do as much for you as you do for them.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I used to... then I started saying no to people. Made life much easier.

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Yep. Had a bit of a wobble myself this evening.

Something really silly nearly made me burst into tears this morning.

Feeling mentLly fragile at tge moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And not in a good way.

Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother?

I'm definitely having one of those moments.

Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it?

I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice.

Do you ever feel like that?"

no, you are generating too much negative energy, just move on.

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