Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
![]() | Back to forum list |
![]() | Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest | ![]() |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" ![]() My god do I. But I feel so utterly angered I'd just be vile. Just tel me I'm not the only one that feels like they've been turned. I'll cry when the anger subsides. I'll be fine. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes. I feel like that a lot. " It's really shit isn't it. I just lose the will in an instant and hate humanity. While at the same time thinking if I done that back to you you'd hate it. Grrrrrr! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that?" Who has pissed down your back and told you its raining. Well have them hung drawn and quarter. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that?" The way people behave says one of two things 1. How they were raised 2. Their past traumas. Neither of these are a reflection on yourself, however how you act is an indication of my 2 above points in your case. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" ![]() No. You're not the only one. Sometimes people are such dicks! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that?" Yes...a lot..always someone wanting or needing me for something or other..then when I'm wanting or in need there's nobody to turn to. I've learnt to do my own thing now and I'm only available when I'm not busy. The shock of me "not being available" is a shock to them. I'm so much better for it though,we have to learn to say " no sorry,I'm busy then or not available" It's hard at first but you do get used to it..its OK helping everyone else buy it doesn't help your own mental health/state.. believe me I've been there. Go outside and scream,you will feel better for it.. x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes I do think about that. But if we do change how we behave, the shitheads win. We can’t allow others to steer us away from our own values, principles and moral compass. OP, could you really change so drastically without losing all of the wonderful good stuff that is you?" I did...and I didn't lose "me" ,if anything I found me again. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that?" I think we all go through this at times. It's not nice and difficult to cope with in the moment. Hopefully this isn't a permanent state and you find your way through it to the other side. Meantime just try to avoid unleashing everything on the wrong person | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just remove shitheads from your life. Sometimes that sounds harder than it does to achieve " I think I'd be left with no one and be a recluse! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"On FAB I kinda gave up putting in any serious effort for meets etc about a month or so ago. The pond kind of runs dry in a small city and Shire. It's not like London or the Hot bed of Swing (Midlands). Here mainly for the forums and even they are turning a little darK. Don't give up, just change it up a little. It could be worse. You could be a guy!" Oh it's not all about fab. It's just the same themes that keep coming. If one more person doesn't stick to their word. If one more person is avoidant. If one person has one rule for them but a different one for me. If one person lies. If one person treats me like I'm just there for it when it benefits them Fuck I'm angry! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just remove shitheads from your life. Sometimes that sounds harder than it does to achieve I think I'd be left with no one and be a recluse! " Trust me, being a recluse is fucking peaceful. As long as you get some friendship and intimacy from time to time you'll be fine | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes. I feel like that a lot. It's really shit isn't it. I just lose the will in an instant and hate humanity. While at the same time thinking if I done that back to you you'd hate it. Grrrrrr!" I usually meditate. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that?" Sadly it's all part of being human. I believe the anger we can feel comes from careing, maybe careing too much. But that's the rub, we do try because we do care, and when we care, there is no volume control. When things don't turn out as we expected, or people don't act as we expected, it can leave us confused and frustrated. Sadly this is normal. Find somewhere to scream, go for a run, find something to hit, turn the music up - for me I apply any of the above to try and burn the agner out. As it goes I try to remember we are all human, and just because someone act as I do doesn't mean they don't care, it's just they care differently. Most importantly remember the world is a better place because you care (it doesn't stop it feeling like shit sometimes, but it's better because we do care) | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though." But if a tree falls in the forest and nobody’s around to hear it … I dunno, feels like the whole point of throwing a tantrum is to be noticed. The point of screaming is to be heard. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just remove shitheads from your life. Sometimes that sounds harder than it does to achieve I think I'd be left with no one and be a recluse! Trust me, being a recluse is fucking peaceful. As long as you get some friendship and intimacy from time to time you'll be fine " ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" ![]() Nah I never we fee like that ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet. And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance. Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though." There's a hill not far from me. I drive to it. Usually I calm before I've finished the drive. Others times it's when I climb the hill. It's big and steep. I've never made it to the top and still felt the need to scream. I used to use that to measure how much something upset me. I haven't gone in years. But today I could. And I can't now. And it's also pissing down with rain annoyingly. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" ![]() ![]() ![]() Strangely, or maybe not so strangely I feel the urge to slap you and say wtf?. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that? Sadly it's all part of being human. I believe the anger we can feel comes from careing, maybe careing too much. But that's the rub, we do try because we do care, and when we care, there is no volume control. When things don't turn out as we expected, or people don't act as we expected, it can leave us confused and frustrated. Sadly this is normal. Find somewhere to scream, go for a run, find something to hit, turn the music up - for me I apply any of the above to try and burn the agner out. As it goes I try to remember we are all human, and just because someone act as I do doesn't mean they don't care, it's just they care differently. Most importantly remember the world is a better place because you care (it doesn't stop it feeling like shit sometimes, but it's better because we do care) " Yes my expectation is the problem. But even if I stand there and say ok I no right to get upset because my expectation isn't being met I still can't help but feel the injustice of it all. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I stopped doing it and really don't give a shit if they like it or not, I'm done ![]() I can't quite bring myself to be ruthless enough about it. I feel like if I am I then become them. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that?" It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"….. I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that?" Sometimes. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that? It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x " Sounds pretty dixi chicks to me Your not ready to make nice your not ready to back down Your mad hell and don't have time to go round and round and round . You Tell em ladies . | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet. And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance. Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though. There's a hill not far from me. I drive to it. Usually I calm before I've finished the drive. Others times it's when I climb the hill. It's big and steep. I've never made it to the top and still felt the need to scream. I used to use that to measure how much something upset me. I haven't gone in years. But today I could. And I can't now. And it's also pissing down with rain annoyingly." The rain helps with the screaming I find. I tend to stand in it and want to scream but the tears flow instead. Both can be cathartic. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that? It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x Sounds pretty dixi chicks to me Your not ready to make nice your not ready to back down Your mad hell and don't have time to go round and round and round . You Tell em ladies . " I bloody love Dixie Chicks | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that? It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x " No more Mr nice guy ? Thing is if you do are you any better than hem, maybe that’s what’s happened to them and they were too weak to keep their integrity | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that? It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x Sounds pretty dixi chicks to me Your not ready to make nice your not ready to back down Your mad hell and don't have time to go round and round and round . You Tell em ladies . I bloody love Dixie Chicks" We can listen to them when your feeding cookies and milk While I hold your wool. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that? It's exactly how I'm feeling right now OP. I'm sick of playing nice...Time to play the same game as others x No more Mr nice guy ? Thing is if you do are you any better than hem, maybe that’s what’s happened to them and they were too weak to keep their integrity " They probably wouldn't notice the difference ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet. And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance. Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though. There's a hill not far from me. I drive to it. Usually I calm before I've finished the drive. Others times it's when I climb the hill. It's big and steep. I've never made it to the top and still felt the need to scream. I used to use that to measure how much something upset me. I haven't gone in years. But today I could. And I can't now. And it's also pissing down with rain annoyingly. The rain helps with the screaming I find. I tend to stand in it and want to scream but the tears flow instead. Both can be cathartic." I’ve not screamed or cried for a while. But it’s coming. It’s due very very soon. I still feel like I don’t have a shoulder to cry in. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"On FAB I kinda gave up putting in any serious effort for meets etc about a month or so ago. The pond kind of runs dry in a small city and Shire. It's not like London or the Hot bed of Swing (Midlands). Here mainly for the forums and even they are turning a little darK. Don't give up, just change it up a little. It could be worse. You could be a guy! Oh it's not all about fab. It's just the same themes that keep coming. If one more person doesn't stick to their word. If one more person is avoidant. If one person has one rule for them but a different one for me. If one person lies. If one person treats me like I'm just there for it when it benefits them Fuck I'm angry! " You are allowed to be angry! All emotions are valid. I highly suggest removing the people that don’t respect boundaries and whose feelings are more important than yours (to them anyway) Yea you may end up quite alone for a while, but it’s worth it!! ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My counsellor keeps asking me why I've accepted certain behaviours. Some people you can't get rid of though. What do you do in that situation????" I had to learn to forgive them. Stand up for myself when I can. Have conversations about relation dynamics moving forward. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet. And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance. Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though. There's a hill not far from me. I drive to it. Usually I calm before I've finished the drive. Others times it's when I climb the hill. It's big and steep. I've never made it to the top and still felt the need to scream. I used to use that to measure how much something upset me. I haven't gone in years. But today I could. And I can't now. And it's also pissing down with rain annoyingly." So get a waterproof jacket on. In the pocket put a mini bottle of red wine and your favourite chocolate bar. Plug in your Spotify to your favourite chill out tunes and smash the hill. So what if it's raining. Even better when you get to the top and know you smashed it in bad weather. Then sit on your arse and eat the bar, drink the wine, smile, stick 2 fingers up at the world and descend. Caveat. I did this last year in Winter without the wine. Fuckin horrendous weather. I slipped on the ice on the way down and fell on my hoop. I sat there, then laid back, laughed at myself and got to the bottom. I then had a cracking coffee from Starbucks. Fuck the bad weather, fuck bad people. Smash it. People in wheelchairs would love to be able to do shit like this! Best of luck. Tomorrow is another day. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet. And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance. Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though. There's a hill not far from me. I drive to it. Usually I calm before I've finished the drive. Others times it's when I climb the hill. It's big and steep. I've never made it to the top and still felt the need to scream. I used to use that to measure how much something upset me. I haven't gone in years. But today I could. And I can't now. And it's also pissing down with rain annoyingly. So get a waterproof jacket on. In the pocket put a mini bottle of red wine and your favourite chocolate bar. Plug in your Spotify to your favourite chill out tunes and smash the hill. So what if it's raining. Even better when you get to the top and know you smashed it in bad weather. Then sit on your arse and eat the bar, drink the wine, smile, stick 2 fingers up at the world and descend. Caveat. I did this last year in Winter without the wine. Fuckin horrendous weather. I slipped on the ice on the way down and fell on my hoop. I sat there, then laid back, laughed at myself and got to the bottom. I then had a cracking coffee from Starbucks. Fuck the bad weather, fuck bad people. Smash it. People in wheelchairs would love to be able to do shit like this! Best of luck. Tomorrow is another day." I get the sentiment I do. But I can't leave the house now. Not till tomorrow. So I'm just sat here with my emotions feeling shit and venting in a forum. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet. And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance. Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though. There's a hill not far from me. I drive to it. Usually I calm before I've finished the drive. Others times it's when I climb the hill. It's big and steep. I've never made it to the top and still felt the need to scream. I used to use that to measure how much something upset me. I haven't gone in years. But today I could. And I can't now. And it's also pissing down with rain annoyingly. So get a waterproof jacket on. In the pocket put a mini bottle of red wine and your favourite chocolate bar. Plug in your Spotify to your favourite chill out tunes and smash the hill. So what if it's raining. Even better when you get to the top and know you smashed it in bad weather. Then sit on your arse and eat the bar, drink the wine, smile, stick 2 fingers up at the world and descend. Caveat. I did this last year in Winter without the wine. Fuckin horrendous weather. I slipped on the ice on the way down and fell on my hoop. I sat there, then laid back, laughed at myself and got to the bottom. I then had a cracking coffee from Starbucks. Fuck the bad weather, fuck bad people. Smash it. People in wheelchairs would love to be able to do shit like this! Best of luck. Tomorrow is another day. I get the sentiment I do. But I can't leave the house now. Not till tomorrow. So I'm just sat here with my emotions feeling shit and venting in a forum." Then you need to pull your friends close and have a good chat if that's possible. Not knowing the scenario makes it difficult for anyone to offer advice. Usually friends or family are the answer. Except when they are the problem of course. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"People will always treat you how you allow them to. And getting angry at others’ behaviour is pointless because you have no control over it. Tantrums are probably best left to children, religious extremists, and authoritarians. " ...and some of my old bosses! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So scream. Loudly and longly. And cry. And stamp your feet. And then breathe and make the decision that those who take more than they give will henceforth not be given that chance. Maybe don't do the screaming, crying and stamping unless you're alone though." Best advice...bottom of garden and just let rip | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"And not in a good way. Do you ever sit there and think why the fuck do I bother? I'm definitely having one of those moments. Do you give more than you get back? Are you available more than others? Or have you stopped doing it? I feel right now that I should just be an utter wanker to people instead of nice. Do you ever feel like that?" no, you are generating too much negative energy, just move on. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top | ![]() |