FabSwingers.com forum: What's the grossest thing...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

... that's ever happened to you during a meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Found shit all up the bathroom walls. True story.

Danish x

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

This happened a while back:

Was all going great & we started kissing. She proceed to guide my hand down her knickers to feel how wet she had become (very wet I must say

)

So started fingering her, all good when I felt something

. I asked if she had a coil put in? she looked perplexed said no & slide her fingers in to have a feel too. After a few moment with no luck asked me to assist as I had bigger hands.

We repositioned, my hand we in & guess what I pulled out?

A condom from her last meet!

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I was in the bathroom having a pee and heard her fart. Maybe she wanted to go after for a number 2?

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Luckily for me, I don’t have anything to share but here for all the comments!

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

"Found shit all up the bathroom walls. True story.

Danish x"

Hahaha makes wonder what’s wrong with people, why would there be shit up the bathroom walls anyway and if it does happen why just leave it and invite people round knowing it’s there hsha

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

She stopped mid way through to go for a wee but didn’t use tissue before returning

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

"Found shit all up the bathroom walls. True story.

Danish x"

Doing house clearances,shit up the bathroom wall is almost normal.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"She stopped mid way through to go for a wee but didn’t use tissue before returning "

Think we have met the same woman.

As far as grossest things, I'm in the camp of things happen. I know I've sneezed, coughed and farted while taking a pee, which to someone I didn't know probably shocked them as much as me.

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

"She stopped mid way through to go for a wee but didn’t use tissue before returning

Think we have met the same woman.

As far as grossest things, I'm in the camp of things happen. I know I've sneezed, coughed and farted while taking a pee, which to someone I didn't know probably shocked them as much as me."

We all do it, mostly it’s funny unless it’s right in your face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many years ago got fixed up with a lass while working away and as she opened her legs for me to climb into and she let out a massage fart sort of put me off for a quick 2nd then just shoved it in.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

After 15 years on here?

Nope. Never had anything gross happen on a meet.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"She stopped mid way through to go for a wee but didn’t use tissue before returning

Think we have met the same woman.

As far as grossest things, I'm in the camp of things happen. I know I've sneezed, coughed and farted while taking a pee, which to someone I didn't know probably shocked them as much as me.

We all do it, mostly it’s funny unless it’s right in your face."

I was in the loo and it was as baffling as it was funny. Luckily she was pretty cool, but it was a weird thing

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"I was in the bathroom having a pee and heard her fart. Maybe she wanted to go after for a number 2?

Why are you guys so squeamish about a woman farting??? We ALL do. Many many times a day. So fucking stop fart shaming. I'm sure you think it's hilarious when one of your mates do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This happened a while back:

Was all going great & we started kissing. She proceed to guide my hand down her knickers to feel how wet she had become (very wet I must say

)

So started fingering her, all good when I felt something

. I asked if she had a coil put in? she looked perplexed said no & slide her fingers in to have a feel too. After a few moment with no luck asked me to assist as I had bigger hands.

We repositioned, my hand we in & guess what I pulled out?

A condom from her last meet!"

You could look at it as she left you proof of practising safe sex.

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

"I was in the bathroom having a pee and heard her fart. Maybe she wanted to go after for a number 2?

Why are you guys so squeamish about a woman farting??? We ALL do. Many many times a day. So fucking stop fart shaming. I'm sure you think it's hilarious when one of your mates do it. "

Ex gf was really self conscious about farting.It was just as funny though.

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"I was in the bathroom having a pee and heard her fart. Maybe she wanted to go after for a number 2?

Why are you guys so squeamish about a woman farting??? We ALL do. Many many times a day. So fucking stop fart shaming. I'm sure you think it's hilarious when one of your mates do it. "

I don't like the F word AT ALL

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

"This happened a while back:

Was all going great & we started kissing. She proceed to guide my hand down her knickers to feel how wet she had become (very wet I must say

)

So started fingering her, all good when I felt something

. I asked if she had a coil put in? she looked perplexed said no & slide her fingers in to have a feel too. After a few moment with no luck asked me to assist as I had bigger hands.

We repositioned, my hand we in & guess what I pulled out?

A condom from her last meet!

You could look at it as she left you proof of practising safe sex.

Suppose that’s another way of looking at it

haha

I was chilled about the whole thing, laughed about it. But deffo a passion killer

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By *ieselJuiceMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Went down on an ex a few years back (NOT the lass in my video), and just as she was about to squirt, she let rip a massive fart! I felt sick and disgusted. The smell made me turn green. I almost got myself sectioned!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely nothing

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"Went down on an ex a few years back (NOT the lass in my video), and just as she was about to squirt, she let rip a massive fart! I felt sick and disgusted. The smell made me turn green. I almost got myself sectioned!"
.. made me laugh

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Didn't 1 guy have a woman stay overnight and found turds on the bedroom floor, the next morning? Without DNA testing, there's no evidence which of them had dumped in the dark.

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By *eelGoodIncMan
over a year ago

Midlands

I went to a meet with somebody I had met with two days previously (we were regular friends)

She went to climb on top and there was a huge whiff when she got her leg over, the woman hadn't washed since our previous meet due to being so "busy" with work. What I could smell was the remnants of my cum from two days before that I'd kindly left in her. I suggested that we went for a sexy shower together and that solved the problem lol

She knew it was there too and admitted it was for the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This happened a while back:

Was all going great & we started kissing. She proceed to guide my hand down her knickers to feel how wet she had become (very wet I must say

)

So started fingering her, all good when I felt something

. I asked if she had a coil put in? she looked perplexed said no & slide her fingers in to have a feel too. After a few moment with no luck asked me to assist as I had bigger hands.

We repositioned, my hand we in & guess what I pulled out?

A condom from her last meet!"

NOOOOO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I *am* the grossest thing that has happened to my meets.

Sorry ladies

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By *NGthe2ndWoman
over a year ago

Here and there

Some of these comments

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
over a year ago

Tamworth

He pee'd inside me, during anal, without asking.

Then shouted abuse at me for getting his pee on his bed.

The whole thing was abit erm, wild

Ms x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While I was between a womans thighs, the smaller of her two dogs hopped onto the sofa behind me and lick my bum and balls. I kid you not!

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

"While I was between a womans thighs, the smaller of her two dogs hopped onto the sofa behind me and lick my bum and balls. I kid you not!

Having spent most of time reading this thread like

- this one made me giggle too much!!

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By *oco_marsWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

Not particularly gross, but TMI. He put his finger up my backside with no warning. Took a trip to the GP to find out he had torn me up there, still healing 3 months on

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"While I was between a womans thighs, the smaller of her two dogs hopped onto the sofa behind me and lick my bum and balls. I kid you not!

Ha ha that really made me laugh! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"While I was between a womans thighs, the smaller of her two dogs hopped onto the sofa behind me and lick my bum and balls. I kid you not!

Having spent most of time reading this thread like

- this one made me giggle too much!!"

What made the situation worse was that she saw it happening and didn't shoo her pet away! I was trying to gently push the dog away with my leg.

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By *ittleRed18Woman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Oh dear lord

some of these stories

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

"While I was between a womans thighs, the smaller of her two dogs hopped onto the sofa behind me and lick my bum and balls. I kid you not!

Having spent most of time reading this thread like

- this one made me giggle too much!!

What made the situation worse was that she saw it happening and didn't shoo her pet away! I was trying to gently push the dog away with my leg. "

Oh stop, that’s just too much!!

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By *addad99Man
over a year ago

Rotherham /newquay

"While I was between a womans thighs, the smaller of her two dogs hopped onto the sofa behind me and lick my bum and balls. I kid you not!

Having spent most of time reading this thread like

- this one made me giggle too much!!

What made the situation worse was that she saw it happening and didn't shoo her pet away! I was trying to gently push the dog away with my leg. "
least it never tried to hump your leg in rhythm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I had a first ‘proper’ meet with a guy who farted in my face when I went down on him. It was the most disgusting turn off I’ve ever experienced and to this day I still don’t know what possessed him to let rip with no warning, at that particular moment.

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

These stories! Ha ha thankfully I've never had a bad experience but the comments have me in stitches.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"While I was between a womans thighs, the smaller of her two dogs hopped onto the sofa behind me and lick my bum and balls. I kid you not!

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By *1966Man
over a year ago

horsham

Walked into a bedroom and saw the bedsheet was completely covered in dried spunk stains.

Over a dozen of them at least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Walked into a bedroom and saw the bedsheet was completely covered in dried spunk stains.

Over a dozen of them at least.

But that was your bedroom wasn't it?

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By *ralslaveforwomenMan
over a year ago

crewe

I met up with a lovely women everything seemed fine she was dressed nice and looks after her self 20 mins in we went for doggy as she bent over to my shock yes she had a poo streak from her bum to the bottom of her back where she had wiped well attempted to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They took their clothes off and whipped their willy onto the bed like a piece of meat on a butchers block.

LvM, I told you plenty of times you can't do that in the bedroom section of IKEA!!

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"While I was between a womans thighs, the smaller of her two dogs hopped onto the sofa behind me and lick my bum and balls. I kid you not!

Oh I had something similar.

I was fucking a guy from behind and felt this big wet nose exploring my crack and then a few licks from quite a large tongue...

His dog had hopped on the bed and started joining in.

I liked that dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG buckled laughing reading that ^

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Didn't 1 guy have a woman stay overnight and found turds on the bedroom floor, the next morning? Without DNA testing, there's no evidence which of them had dumped in the dark.

Does anyone remember the thread from a couple of years ago, when this was posted?

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

"I was in the bathroom having a pee and heard her fart. Maybe she wanted to go after for a number 2?

I knew a fella that paid off a ship in Dundee, and as you can imagine after that length of time at sea he had his needs. So he pulled a pavement hostess, and as they were hard at it she let out a rip, rap roarer and arsehole tearer, then she looked at him and said, I've farted on your balls, I want more money from you! I Don't know if he gave her extra or not.

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By *ieselJuiceMan
over a year ago

Stratford

OMG buckled laughing reading that ^

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By *eelGoodIncMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Walked into a bedroom and saw the bedsheet was completely covered in dried spunk stains.

Over a dozen of them at least.

Oh yeah this one! I've seen this myself, a lot! Usually in shaped as though it's run out of the woman too lol wild!

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By *1966Man
over a year ago

horsham

"Walked into a bedroom and saw the bedsheet was completely covered in dried spunk stains.

Over a dozen of them at least.

But that was your bedroom wasn't it?

Meticolously clean are mine i will have you know sir,but i was going to be wearing a condom.

I reckon i was in a minority there

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"They took their clothes off and whipped their willy onto the bed like a piece of meat on a butchers block.

LvM, I told you plenty of times you can't do that in the bedroom section of IKEA!!

Well you kept complaining that Fab guys wouldn't act the way they do in real life, so I had to prove you wrong

Sorry for the lifetime ban

LvM

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By *1966Man
over a year ago

horsham

I went to go down on a girl many years ago,after removing her pants, and when i got close i saw a postage stamp stuck on her vagina.It had got there via her handbag.

Why were her pants at one point in her handbag i never bothered finding out.

I got the giggles and that was the end of our passionate one night stand.

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

"I went to go down on a girl many years ago,after removing her pants, and when i got close i saw a postage stamp stuck on her vagina.It had got there via her handbag.

Why were her pants at one point in her handbag i never bothered finding out.

I got the giggles and that was the end of our passionate one night stand.

First class

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Someone had a nosebleed on my face on our first meet

Full on Japanese anime in real life

It's been over 6 years and I am now married to the guy, and he hasn't had a nosebleed since.

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"Someone had a nosebleed on my face on our first meet

Full on Japanese anime in real life

It's been over 6 years and I am now married to the guy, and he hasn't had a nosebleed since.

STOP IT

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Someone had a nosebleed on my face on our first meet

Full on Japanese anime in real life

It's been over 6 years and I am now married to the guy, and he hasn't had a nosebleed since.

STOP IT

I WAS EXCITED! SHE'S HOT!

LvM

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"I went to go down on a girl many years ago,after removing her pants, and when i got close i saw a postage stamp stuck on her vagina.It had got there via her handbag.

Why were her pants at one point in her handbag i never bothered finding out.

I got the giggles and that was the end of our passionate one night stand.

1st or 2nd class?

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

Mines fairly similar to one of the ones above, was with an ex going at it balls deep and dog hops up on bed and starts trying shag my arse as I'm inside her only difference is I kicked the fucker straight off the bed mood killed mind you and I did feel shan however not in the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This happened a while back:

Was all going great & we started kissing. She proceed to guide my hand down her knickers to feel how wet she had become (very wet I must say

)

So started fingering her, all good when I felt something

. I asked if she had a coil put in? she looked perplexed said no & slide her fingers in to have a feel too. After a few moment with no luck asked me to assist as I had bigger hands.

We repositioned, my hand we in & guess what I pulled out?

A condom from her last meet!"

Nah that EFFIN Wild!!

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Oh dear god these stories!

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

OK here's mine.. Not really from a fab meet but from a first date many moons ago, with a guy who became my boyfriend for years.

We had got on VERY well and things got sexual. I gave him a blow job and decided to spit rather than swallow.. Into a glass of water by the bed.

I stayed over and in the morning I went into the kitchen, saying hi to his flatmate who happened to be his sister. I put the kettle on. Absent mindedly, I poured the very glass of water into the kettle to top it up. We stood chatting getting teapots sorted etc.

Once the kettle was almost boiling it suddenly began to spit and bubble frothy liquid out of its spout whilst me and the flatmate looked on puzzled.

It took me a moment or two for it to dawn on me what had somehow happened.. Surprisingly, the cum had reacted to the water and heat and caused some kind of scientific phenomenon that I could never have imagined! I was equally horrified and entertained.

I've never tried it again.. Please someone give it a go and report back!!!

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

Pussy wasn't smooth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone had a nosebleed on my face on our first meet

Full on Japanese anime in real life

It's been over 6 years and I am now married to the guy, and he hasn't had a nosebleed since.

STOP IT

I WAS EXCITED! SHE'S HOT!

LvM"

She is!! I would have married her if you didn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Checking if I’m in here.

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By *r and Mrs Double spiceCouple
over a year ago

somewhere around midlands

"Pussy wasn't smooth "

I dare you to write this on your profile!

If you don't have smooth pussy....don't bother to message me! It's gross!

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Sweet Jesus! These make for some decidedly grim reading. Thank gawd I finished my tea early!

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"This happened a while back:

Was all going great & we started kissing. She proceed to guide my hand down her knickers to feel how wet she had become (very wet I must say

)

So started fingering her, all good when I felt something

. I asked if she had a coil put in? she looked perplexed said no & slide her fingers in to have a feel too. After a few moment with no luck asked me to assist as I had bigger hands.

We repositioned, my hand we in & guess what I pulled out?

A condom from her last meet!"

Not that bad after all, could be a tampon from her last period!

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By *eelGoodIncMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Pussy wasn't smooth "

Are you fishing here mate?

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Someone had a nosebleed on my face on our first meet

Full on Japanese anime in real life

It's been over 6 years and I am now married to the guy, and he hasn't had a nosebleed since.

STOP IT

I WAS EXCITED! SHE'S HOT!

LvM

She is!! I would have married her if you didn't.

You were already married when I moved to the UK

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By *edplusoneCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

"He pee'd inside me, during anal, without asking.

Then shouted abuse at me for getting his pee on his bed.

The whole thing was abit erm, wild

Ms x"

How has this comment not gotten more attention?

If he’d have asked would that have been ok?

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