FabSwingers.com forum: Make the forums fun again

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don’t do your usual ‘oh but they’re what you-‘ shite.

Get in here and make someone laugh. Belly laugh. Tell us about the shit you did this morning! The worst blowjob you ever got? Tell us about how much teeth there was! Tell us who you are wearing? Tell us something bloody dumb to lighten up this Sunday! After all, It’s Monday tomorrow, and everyone fucking hates Mondays.

Tia xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was once doing a shot stood at a bar and I locked eyes with a verrryyy cute person across the pub, and unfortunately I tried to smile at home but instead I just dribbled jaeger all down my chin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*smile at him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was once doing a shot stood at a bar and I locked eyes with a verrryyy cute person across the pub, and unfortunately I tried to smile at home but instead I just dribbled jaeger all down my chin

fuck me that made me lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

I once was having a dance in a bar and the girl o was dancing with spilt her drink on the floor I slipped on it and pretended to break dance to try cover my tracks. It didn’t work

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"I was once doing a shot stood at a bar and I locked eyes with a verrryyy cute person across the pub, and unfortunately I tried to smile at home but instead I just dribbled jaeger all down my chin

I’m sure you did it seductively

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment. "

This honestly gives me the ick pickle

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

This honestly gives me the ick pickle "

Don’t meet me then. But my dick game is worth it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once was having a dance in a bar and the girl o was dancing with spilt her drink on the floor I slipped on it and pretended to break dance to try cover my tracks. It didn’t work

Please stop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

This honestly gives me the ick pickle

Don’t meet me then. But my dick game is worth it"

Prove it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

This honestly gives me the ick pickle

Don’t meet me then. But my dick game is worth it

Prove it.

I’m trying Demi

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment. "

I'm assuming that wasn't in public...

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment. "

We’ve all been there. And for those who say they haven’t, you’re not fooling anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once bought a meal deal from sainsburys for work and left it on the table in a carrier bag while I got ready. I picked it up on my way out and when I got to work I realised I had picked up the wrong bag. Instead of a chicken salad sandwich, a bag of crisps and a bottle of pop I had my sister’s knee high boots. The lads at work still go on about it to this day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

I'm assuming that wasn't in public..."

No!

God no.

But I did once get d*unk at my old teacher’s house and pass out in her bathroom covered in vomit. That was the most public I think I’ve been that embarrassingly d*unk

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

We’ve all been there. And for those who say they haven’t, you’re not fooling anyone. "

So far I haven't and tbh I'm kind of living in fear as to when my time will come.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cried this morning because I couldn't connect to my Bluetooth speaker. Fucking menopause!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once bought a meal deal from sainsburys for work and left it on the table in a carrier bag while I got ready. I picked it up on my way out and when I got to work I realised I had picked up the wrong bag. Instead of a chicken salad sandwich, a bag of crisps and a bottle of pop I had my sister’s knee high boots. The lads at work still go on about it to this day

It’s the fact that you must’ve had to buy another lunch or starved

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

We’ve all been there. And for those who say they haven’t, you’re not fooling anyone.

So far I haven't and tbh I'm kind of living in fear as to when my time will come."

There’s always old age

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s the fact that you must’ve had to buy another lunch or starved

Work vending machine pasties are not it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

We’ve all been there. And for those who say they haven’t, you’re not fooling anyone. "

You make me feel seen

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"I once was having a dance in a bar and the girl o was dancing with spilt her drink on the floor I slipped on it and pretended to break dance to try cover my tracks. It didn’t work

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

We’ve all been there. And for those who say they haven’t, you’re not fooling anyone.

So far I haven't and tbh I'm kind of living in fear as to when my time will come."

Everyone gets their turn

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

We’ve all been there. And for those who say they haven’t, you’re not fooling anyone.

So far I haven't and tbh I'm kind of living in fear as to when my time will come.

There’s always old age

I never entirely trust a fart these days

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

We’ve all been there. And for those who say they haven’t, you’re not fooling anyone.

So far I haven't and tbh I'm kind of living in fear as to when my time will come.

There’s always old age

I never entirely trust a fart these days"

Omg so relatable.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

When I was about 17, I caught the bus home from college which normally took about an hour to get home. Shortly in to the journey I really needed to pee... this feeling grew as the journey went on. By the time I hopped off the bus I was so desperate I was literally running for the first secluded area I could find.

I didn't make it...

Once the stream had begun there was nothing I could do.

I just stood there and hung my head as I pissed myself.

That was not a proud moment for me.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

My husband was having a bj and I mistakenly thought the grimace on his face was enjoyment it was only afterwards when he showed me the teeth marks and how sore his cock was I realised

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment. "

Pickles. Steve. How did you get so quickly from ‘tell me something that makes me laugh’ to this bleak corner of your soul?

I’m worried about you here.

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"I cried this morning because I couldn't connect to my Bluetooth speaker. Fucking menopause!!

Want a huggle?

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We lost our Sky remote once. We turned the house upside down, spent 45 minutes looking but could not find it so gave up and ordered a new one. We later found it in the fridge, a dipstick teenager had gone into the fridge to get a snack and left the f@#£ing remote there

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

We’ve all been there. And for those who say they haven’t, you’re not fooling anyone.

So far I haven't and tbh I'm kind of living in fear as to when my time will come.

There’s always old age

I never entirely trust a fart these days

Omg so relatable. "

Just wait for what your 40s will have in store for you...

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I once lost my light up butt plug on a first play date! He retrieved it! We never met again!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once lost my light up butt plug on a first play date! He retrieved it! We never met again!

I feel like I remember reading about this on your status or in the forums when it happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cried this morning because I couldn't connect to my Bluetooth speaker. Fucking menopause!!

Want a huggle?"

Yes please sweetie

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"I once lost my light up butt plug on a first play date! He retrieved it! We never met again!

He wasn't the brightest of chaps then at missing out on a second meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I cried this morning because I couldn't connect to my Bluetooth speaker. Fucking menopause!!

You’re beautiful, honestly

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"I once lost my light up butt plug on a first play date! He retrieved it! We never met again!

I feel like I remember reading about this on your status or in the forums when it happened

I find it amusing now didn't at the time! He was a policeman still in his uniform! Imagine if he took Me to casualty! Although dare say he would have dropped me at the door and left!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cried this morning because I couldn't connect to my Bluetooth speaker. Fucking menopause!!

You’re beautiful, honestly

I know this. Doesn't stop me crying though

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"Don’t do your usual ‘oh but they’re what you-‘ shite.

Tia xx"

The worst blow job I ever got…it was awful because they couldn’t find my penis :-/

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don’t do your usual ‘oh but they’re what you-‘ shite.

Tia xx

The worst blow job I ever got…it was awful because they couldn’t find my penis :-/"

Ba dum tsssk.

Give it up for Stifler’s Gran everyone

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"I once lost my light up butt plug on a first play date! He retrieved it! We never met again!

I feel like I remember reading about this on your status or in the forums when it happened

I find it amusing now didn't at the time! He was a policeman still in his uniform! Imagine if he took Me to casualty! Although dare say he would have dropped me at the door and left!

Oh my gosh! I loved this story!! You are bloody ace woman, it was like being on the emotional rollercoaster with you

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Only if i can flash my willy37 times

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Many moons ago I was ”on a promise” (look it up youngsters). I had to work in the morning. It was coming up to Easter time & fairly warm. I was wearing a long summer skirt & vest top. Because of said promise I skipped the underwear. As I walked through the very busy town centre to get to the car park the heavens opened. I ran toward the nearest shop (Woolworths). As I ran in I didn’t account for a wet floor and slipped & face planted quite spectacularly. I then proceeded to slide across the floor on my front stopped only by the Easter egg display, which I brought down around me. All the time I was sliding l, my skirt rode up. Once I stopped moving I was lying in a small pool of nose blood, skirt over my shoulders, bare arse exposed surrounded by crème egg Easter egg boxes. It was like an orgy at the Easter bunnies house.

Fun times

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Fun times

We call that ‘The Full Misty’.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Many moons ago I was ”on a promise” (look it up youngsters). I had to work in the morning. It was coming up to Easter time & fairly warm. I was wearing a long summer skirt & vest top. Because of said promise I skipped the underwear. As I walked through the very busy town centre to get to the car park the heavens opened. I ran toward the nearest shop (Woolworths). As I ran in I didn’t account for a wet floor and slipped & face planted quite spectacularly. I then proceeded to slide across the floor on my front stopped only by the Easter egg display, which I brought down around me. All the time I was sliding l, my skirt rode up. Once I stopped moving I was lying in a small pool of nose blood, skirt over my shoulders, bare arse exposed surrounded by crème egg Easter egg boxes. It was like an orgy at the Easter bunnies house.

Fun times

Are you responsible for closing down woolies

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I need smiles today… all jokes and funny stories massively appreciated

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

"I cried this morning because I couldn't connect to my Bluetooth speaker. Fucking menopause!!

After all of the shit I've been through, I can quite understand why something that might apparently be so trivial to most can tip you over the edge.

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By *oco_marsWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

I had a meet a while back, we met in a bar. Nipped to the loo and realised I'd washed the new underwear I was wearing with the hygiene strip still in it and it was wearing off all over my skin

absolute mess!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I'm thinking of a number

Only kidding

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Fun times

Crème egg orgy - how do you eat yours?

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Fun times

We call that ‘The Full Misty’.

Some of us call it “The Full Misty” those of us that see the charm

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment. "

I can't lie Steve, that was a tough wank. I managed it though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

I can't lie Steve, that was a tough wank. I managed it though.

I’m more attractive when I’m being gagged so I speak less.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I had a meet a while back, we met in a bar. Nipped to the loo and realised I'd washed the new underwear I was wearing with the hygiene strip still in it and it was wearing off all over my skin

absolute mess!"

I bought some cheap stockings and wore them to a meet, only to find the dye transferred to my skin and turned my legs an inky blue colour. Discovered it as we were shedding clothes, so no opportunity to fix it, but it gave us both a laugh.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"I once vomited while shitting and cried. That was legitimately my lowest moment.

I can't lie Steve, that was a tough wank. I managed it though.

I’m more attractive when I’m being gagged so I speak less. "

Duly noted

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

When I was a student- a group of us went to a student society pizza and wine during freshers week, at which we got quite plastered. Going back up the SU stairs, one of the guys bounded on ahead, in a d*unken fit of showing off, he reached the top, hurtled around a corner, and we heard a cry followed by a wet smack and a clatter.

We rounded the corner to find him sitting legs spread, facing the wall, with the contents of a bin all over him. He was sitting in the extensive puddle of someone's vomit that he'd slipped and slid in on the linoleum, on his arse, before clanging into the bin, which had upended all over him. The bemused expression on his face was priceless. We nearly wet ourselves laughing. As you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love Mondays it is the beginning of a new week

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

I don't hate Mondays that's when I'm at my twirlist

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"I don't hate Mondays that's when I'm at my twirlist"

I remember the tourcher my mother put me through have to sit there with my hands out while she wound wool .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't hate Mondays that's when I'm at my twirlist"

I would like to see it

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"I don't hate Mondays that's when I'm at my twirlist

I remember the tourcher my mother put me through have to sit there with my hands out while she wound wool ."

Did she knit something for you?

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"I don't hate Mondays that's when I'm at my twirlist

I would like to see it

Okay but hold onto something because today I'm more tasmanian devil

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't hate Mondays that's when I'm at my twirlist

I would like to see it

Okay but hold onto something because today I'm more tasmanian devil"

I’m into it. Don’t worry

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