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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was meeting a girl regular from Northampton every two weeks from September to new year. She told me she didn't want to do anything anymore and we have remained friends. (we was friends the previous 12 years also) anyway she told me on Monday she was going to date a kid from her work tonight, but she sent me a valentines card and message today, why would she do this? Playing with my head or feeling sorry for me? I just don't know what to think anymore

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

two possibilities she wants things to go further between you and is trying to get you to realise what you might be missing by saying she is going to date someone from work and showing she likes you by sending a valentine OR she just felt like sending you a card and that's the end of it.

Do you want the relationship to go further between you?

The thing is if you don't ask her you will never know what she wants .

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

If you have been friends for years whats wrong with sending you a card

I think its lovely

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She likes you and is thinking of you. Don't read too much into valentines, it's only a bit of fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"two possibilities she wants things to go further between you and is trying to get you to realise what you might be missing by saying she is going to date someone from work and showing she likes you by sending a valentine OR she just felt like sending you a card and that's the end of it.

Do you want the relationship to go further between you?

The thing is if you don't ask her you will never know what she wants . "

Yeah she knows, she knows I want more I've told her, she said she didn't feel that way about me even on Monday she repeated that. Then this, I accept she doesn't and I replied to her today and she just said she doesn't feel like talking atm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you have been friends for years whats wrong with sending you a card

I think its lovely

xx"

I said thank you and it was nice of her but why after saying I want more and she saying she doesn't?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"two possibilities she wants things to go further between you and is trying to get you to realise what you might be missing by saying she is going to date someone from work and showing she likes you by sending a valentine OR she just felt like sending you a card and that's the end of it.

Do you want the relationship to go further between you?

The thing is if you don't ask her you will never know what she wants .

Yeah she knows, she knows I want more I've told her, she said she didn't feel that way about me even on Monday she repeated that. Then this, I accept she doesn't and I replied to her today and she just said she doesn't feel like talking atm "

Then I would say that sending you a card was unfair of her. Only you can decide what to do but could it be that she likes to have you waiting in the wings?

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

maybe she just thought u was worth a card and nothing else

Who knows the workings of a womans mind

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"If you have been friends for years whats wrong with sending you a card

I think its lovely

xx

I said thank you and it was nice of her but why after saying I want more and she saying she doesn't? "

She may have posted it second class before the conversation on Monday? She may just have been acknowledging twelve years of friendship with the card.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"maybe she just thought u was worth a card and nothing else

Who knows the workings of a womans mind"

Thanks lol that's why I was aiming these questions at women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She cares deeply for you as a friend and wants you to feel cared for. Take it as a thoughtful gesture from a close friend and nothing more

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you have been friends for years whats wrong with sending you a card

I think its lovely

xx

I said thank you and it was nice of her but why after saying I want more and she saying she doesn't?

She may have posted it second class before the conversation on Monday? She may just have been acknowledging twelve years of friendship with the card."

First class sent on Tuesday

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"She cares deeply for you as a friend and wants you to feel cared for. Take it as a thoughtful gesture from a close friend and nothing more"

Ok thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try doing this the old fashioned way - ask her!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

From a blokes perspective. If youve known her for that long and told her how you feel to which shes declined. I would turn away. BUT that is just me, ive never been into chasing women and couldnt chat one up to save my life.

Some women do like a guy to chase though but as I say, she just sounds to be playing with you. As easy as it is to send a random Valentines - essentially its just a card.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Try doing this the old fashioned way - ask her!"

She doesn't want to talk at the min so I'm just respecting her wishes by leaving her alone this is the first time since September we haven't text each other everyday

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"She cares deeply for you as a friend and wants you to feel cared for. Take it as a thoughtful gesture from a close friend and nothing more"

Ok thanks

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By *ngelsdevilWoman
over a year ago

Merseyside

That's a hard one, very mixed messages and I think the only person who really knows is her. It sounds like she genuinely cares for you as a friend but not as more but then on the other hand I wouldn't send valentines to boy mates or I would have sent a lot of them today! Maybe she has different ideas? I can see why your confused but if I was you I'd take it with a pinch of salt and not let it mess with your head, maybe that's what she wants? All this said who knows what she's thinking or what her motive is? Maybe their isn't one? It's all a lot of ???'s! Ask yourself would you want more if this is how she's treating you? She might not be doing it on purpose on the other hand. Sorry but their is nobody who can answer this other than her, why don't you ask her? Honesty is always best and putting it out their might solve the equation even if it might not end up being what you want to hear it will be better in the long run.

Chin up! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your status just now is "... "Valentines fuck needed for this evening"

You don't seem all that upset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you send her one?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Did you send her one?"

I had one for her yes and when I received mine I sent hers but she also told me on the Monday it's not a good idea to send her one this is what's confusing me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Your status just now is "... "Valentines fuck needed for this evening"

You don't seem all that upset."

This is a NSA site maybe a fuck will get it out my system and maybe it wont

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"Your status just now is "... "Valentines fuck needed for this evening"

You don't seem all that upset."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"She cares deeply for you as a friend and wants you to feel cared for. Take it as a thoughtful gesture from a close friend and nothing more

Ok thanks"

I'm frightened I lose her all together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like she's a head fuck. Forget her.... x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That's a hard one, very mixed messages and I think the only person who really knows is her. It sounds like she genuinely cares for you as a friend but not as more but then on the other hand I wouldn't send valentines to boy mates or I would have sent a lot of them today! Maybe she has different ideas? I can see why your confused but if I was you I'd take it with a pinch of salt and not let it mess with your head, maybe that's what she wants? All this said who knows what she's thinking or what her motive is? Maybe their isn't one? It's all a lot of ???'s! Ask yourself would you want more if this is how she's treating you? She might not be doing it on purpose on the other hand. Sorry but their is nobody who can answer this other than her, why don't you ask her? Honesty is always best and putting it out their might solve the equation even if it might not end up being what you want to hear it will be better in the long run.

Chin up! x"

I'm frightened I lose her all together ( was meant to reply to this not the other above)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try doing this the old fashioned way - ask her!

She doesn't want to talk at the min so I'm just respecting her wishes by leaving her alone this is the first time since September we haven't text each other everyday"
awww its not nice feeling like you do, i would just say ok ill remain your friend but i wont ask again....find someone who wants you as much as you want her, and you will...one day you will wake up and the feeling will be gone. good luck. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Try doing this the old fashioned way - ask her!

She doesn't want to talk at the min so I'm just respecting her wishes by leaving her alone this is the first time since September we haven't text each other everyday awww its not nice feeling like you do, i would just say ok ill remain your friend but i wont ask again....find someone who wants you as much as you want her, and you will...one day you will wake up and the feeling will be gone. good luck. x"

Awww thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try doing this the old fashioned way - ask her!

She doesn't want to talk at the min so I'm just respecting her wishes by leaving her alone this is the first time since September we haven't text each other everyday awww its not nice feeling like you do, i would just say ok ill remain your friend but i wont ask again....find someone who wants you as much as you want her, and you will...one day you will wake up and the feeling will be gone. good luck. x

Awww thanks "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come to Chester fella and have a lads night out with me an my mates. It will help you put some perspective back in to your space.

Plenty of fish in the sea pal.

It's only a valentine, it's a gesture, nothing else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Come to Chester fella and have a lads night out with me an my mates. It will help you put some perspective back in to your space.

Plenty of fish in the sea pal.

It's only a valentine, it's a gesture, nothing else. "

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By *ngelsdevilWoman
over a year ago

Merseyside


"That's a hard one, very mixed messages and I think the only person who really knows is her. It sounds like she genuinely cares for you as a friend but not as more but then on the other hand I wouldn't send valentines to boy mates or I would have sent a lot of them today! Maybe she has different ideas? I can see why your confused but if I was you I'd take it with a pinch of salt and not let it mess with your head, maybe that's what she wants? All this said who knows what she's thinking or what her motive is? Maybe their isn't one? It's all a lot of ???'s! Ask yourself would you want more if this is how she's treating you? She might not be doing it on purpose on the other hand. Sorry but their is nobody who can answer this other than her, why don't you ask her? Honesty is always best and putting it out their might solve the equation even if it might not end up being what you want to hear it will be better in the long run.

Chin up! x

I'm frightened I lose her all together ( was meant to reply to this not the other above)"

Unfortunately sometimes you have to lose to win, for yourself.

Whatever will be will be

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That's a hard one, very mixed messages and I think the only person who really knows is her. It sounds like she genuinely cares for you as a friend but not as more but then on the other hand I wouldn't send valentines to boy mates or I would have sent a lot of them today! Maybe she has different ideas? I can see why your confused but if I was you I'd take it with a pinch of salt and not let it mess with your head, maybe that's what she wants? All this said who knows what she's thinking or what her motive is? Maybe their isn't one? It's all a lot of ???'s! Ask yourself would you want more if this is how she's treating you? She might not be doing it on purpose on the other hand. Sorry but their is nobody who can answer this other than her, why don't you ask her? Honesty is always best and putting it out their might solve the equation even if it might not end up being what you want to hear it will be better in the long run.

Chin up! x

I'm frightened I lose her all together ( was meant to reply to this not the other above)

Unfortunately sometimes you have to lose to win, for yourself.

Whatever will be will be "

thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like the woman in question could be going through a confusing time and may not know what she wants...she will probably come to you when she's sorted it out in her own head...

Is she involved with another guy?

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By *azzaahhWoman
over a year ago

north wales / chester


"Sounds like she's a head fuck. Forget her.... x"
ditto

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Don't read too much into the card . I think it's just a nice gesture and is not meant to encourage you to go after her again . Your just going to have to be brave and ask her outright but from the position of her not being that interested. If she's more into you than that then you know you can go after her again . Don't get your hopes up though

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like the woman in question could be going through a confusing time and may not know what she wants...she will probably come to you when she's sorted it out in her own head...

Is she involved with another guy?"

She was going on her first date with a guy from work last night don't know if she did though, still no contact

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't read too much into the card . I think it's just a nice gesture and is not meant to encourage you to go after her again . Your just going to have to be brave and ask her outright but from the position of her not being that interested. If she's more into you than that then you know you can go after her again . Don't get your hopes up though "

I'm not getting my hopes up, I won't be making any move on her again, she has deal with her own shit down in Northampton we are 3 hours apart nearly so that don't help. It just shocked me her sending the card when she asked me not to send her one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think she was just being lovely your very lucky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cyndi reckons that she is confused about what she actually wants .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Cyndi reckons that she is confused about what she actually wants ."

Thanks guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cyndi reckons that she is confused about what she actually wants ."

If someone wants you they're not confused about it. If they choose to come in and out of your life then you're really just a convenience, better than being alone.

You'll do in the interim until something better comes along.

If she wanted you you'd know.

Move on for your own sanity fella, clinging on with false hope when someone has already knocked you back is not attractive.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Some people keep those they know hold torches for them in their lives as standbys to massage their egos when they see fit.

We have choices as to whether we want to be the praise team for others or find friends that are not cavilier with our emotions.

Find the strength to move on and not sit waiting for crumbs.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She maybe care very much for you as a friend a close one ....... and its lovely she would think to send you a card .. why read all things into this .. Just ask if you need to know and i am sure she will be up front and say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't read too much into the card . I think it's just a nice gesture and is not meant to encourage you to go after her again . Your just going to have to be brave and ask her outright but from the position of her not being that interested. If she's more into you than that then you know you can go after her again . Don't get your hopes up though

I'm not getting my hopes up, I won't be making any move on her again, she has deal with her own shit down in Northampton we are 3 hours apart nearly so that don't help. It just shocked me her sending the card when she asked me not to send her one "

perhaps she has a penchant for chasing guys who are "hard to get". Try it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Cyndi reckons that she is confused about what she actually wants .

If someone wants you they're not confused about it. If they choose to come in and out of your life then you're really just a convenience, better than being alone.

You'll do in the interim until something better comes along.

If she wanted you you'd know.

Move on for your own sanity fella, clinging on with false hope when someone has already knocked you back is not attractive. "

Thanks for the advice as I aready stated earlier

"I'm not getting my hopes up, I won't be making any move on her again, she has deal with her own shit down in Northampton we are 3 hours apart nearly so that don't help."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some people keep those they know hold torches for them in their lives as standbys to massage their egos when they see fit.

We have choices as to whether we want to be the praise team for others or find friends that are not cavilier with our emotions.

Find the strength to move on and not sit waiting for crumbs.

Good luck! "

I'm not getting my hopes up, I won't be making any move on her again, she has deal with her own shit down in Northampton we are 3 hours apart nearly so that don't help. It just shocked me her sending the card when she asked me not to send her one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think she was just being lovely your very lucky"

This ^^^^^

I send all my ex-boyfriends Valentine cards (well, if I know their address I do! )

It doesn't mean that I want to get back together with them. It means I love them as a friend, and I am grateful for the happy times we spent together, and I want them to know (if they don't get any other cards) that SOMEONE is thinking of them.

I remember the years feeling unhappy that no-one sent me a Valentine Card, and I don't want any of my previous lovers to feel that they were ever un-loved.

You are obviously lovable, and you were loved. And it's great that you still have a friendly relationship with your lady. She thinks you're a good person, and she wants you to be happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I would only send a card to somebody I was romantically linked to (or wanted to be).

Move on, enjoy yourself and give her the space she may require. If she comes back to you, be clear and upfront with her about your expectations and the confusion you have experienced previously.

I don’t know whether these are mind games or otherwise as I don’t know her, but just stay true to yourself and try not to get caught up in them

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"two possibilities she wants things to go further between you and is trying to get you to realise what you might be missing by saying she is going to date someone from work and showing she likes you by sending a valentine OR she just felt like sending you a card and that's the end of it.

Do you want the relationship to go further between you?

The thing is if you don't ask her you will never know what she wants .

Yeah she knows, she knows I want more I've told her, she said she didn't feel that way about me even on Monday she repeated that. Then this, I accept she doesn't and I replied to her today and she just said she doesn't feel like talking atm "

She sounds fucked up. Forget her and move onto pastures new. Have a couple of sport fucks to help you forget her then eventually she'll just seem like a distant but pleasant memory.

That's what I like about the past - it stays there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"two possibilities she wants things to go further between you and is trying to get you to realise what you might be missing by saying she is going to date someone from work and showing she likes you by sending a valentine OR she just felt like sending you a card and that's the end of it.

Do you want the relationship to go further between you?

The thing is if you don't ask her you will never know what she wants .

Yeah she knows, she knows I want more I've told her, she said she didn't feel that way about me even on Monday she repeated that. Then this, I accept she doesn't and I replied to her today and she just said she doesn't feel like talking atm

She sounds fucked up. Forget her and move onto pastures new. Have a couple of sport fucks to help you forget her then eventually she'll just seem like a distant but pleasant memory.

That's what I like about the past - it stays there."

We will see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a nightmare. Attention-seeker? I'd just move on with your life and forget about it, she just wants to keep you in contact enough so you'll wait around but not so close so she can move on. Or at least that's how I see it. Good luck... !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all your advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"maybe she just thought u was worth a card and nothing else

Who knows the workings of a womans mind"

Aye..........tell me about it! Especially when half the time they don't know themselves?

What chance has a guy got??

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