FabSwingers.com forum: The language we use...

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

Meet as an example. Do you meet people?

What term do you use if not meet?

Are there any terms that make you think you might not be compatible with someone?

Like if they asked you to join their stable/harem/committee of raccoons, would you be put off or think "fuck yes, where do I sign up?"?

Do you place importance on language on here?

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Naughty fun or anyone asking if I’ve been naughty. It makes me wince and would place a small red outlined flag in my mind. It’s not naughty if it’s consensual, it’s just sex. If it’s not consensual it’s not naughty either… then it’s hugely problematic.

Dates - for me, they’re not dates, they’re meets or socials. It just makes me worry that we’re not on the same page.

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

Certain kinds of language put me off speaking, usually the gross explicit names to be honest. Of course some may be tongue in cheek, however their crass nature is off putting.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

I like weird, I like when people have a unique but logical way of saying things.

Having different words for things, almost as an inside joke I like. So long as it makes sense.

Think of "You" season 2.You have the character called Love, which if I remember correctly made it weird for them to say Love, so they said "I wolf you" instead... Aww cute inside joke sweet... But it made no fucking sense. It was a stupid word replacement!

That kind of shit can fuck right off. But using LOGIACAL replacement words I'm totally down for. Clever word use even better!

I may have gonnoff topic and forgot the OP question but I think I answered close enough...

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

If you can't talk in plain English with at least a resemblance of linguistic dexterity, and without resorting to text speak or believing you're some sort of urban gangster, i'm probably not interested.

Luckily Meli, you seem to be a well educated lady with a pretty mouth...

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

In the context of this site and not wishing to sound like a prude, but I personally do not particularly like uncouth language in a profile.

Tempting, tantalising and sexually provocative- yes! Absolutely!

Outright vulgar though - it’s a no from me.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

It's particularly words that make my brain do a nope.

I'm not terribly fond of the cheeky/Cockney/ geezer types partly because of my brain not accepting the language.

We can't help what makes us desire someone.

The word 'meet' to denote sex is probably the least offensive one to my ears from someone new.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you can't talk in plain English with at least a resemblance of linguistic dexterity, and without resorting to text speak or believing you're some sort of urban gangster, i'm probably not interested.

Luckily Meli, you seem to be a well educated lady with a pretty mouth...

Tru Dat

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Sycophancy is off-putting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like people who're playful with language. That appeals. Puns. Silliness. Raccoons.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Being an effective communicator is really impotent to getting your point across

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like people who're playful with language. That appeals. Puns. Silliness. Raccoons.

To add, I'm very unhappy that the words 'meet' and 'fun' are forever ruined with their tawdry association.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

"I like people who're playful with language. That appeals. Puns. Silliness. Raccoons.

I bet you'd just be a hot mess if you ever encountered a raccoon & a baboon eating macaroons, with spoons, at noon, in a balloon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being an effective communicator is really impotent to getting your point across

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Language is important to me but it can also be situational.

On here I am very easily put off by certain things or phrases, but equally I can be put off if someone seems almost too good to be true!

I don't particularly like the word "meet" I tend to go on date's. That might put people off me and I'm good with that!

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Sycophancy is off-putting.

Very astute, I couldn’t agree with you more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like people who're playful with language. That appeals. Puns. Silliness. Raccoons.

I bet you'd just be a hot mess if you ever encountered a raccoon & a baboon eating macaroons, with spoons, at noon, in a balloon

Let's hope it happens soon

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Meet as an example. Do you meet people?

What term do you use if not meet?

Are there any terms that make you think you might not be compatible with someone?

Like if they asked you to join their stable/harem/committee of raccoons, would you be put off or think "fuck yes, where do I sign up?"?

Do you place importance on language on here?

After trying to get my head around Derrida no. It's what the word or language means to the person that interests me. I check my understanding, ask them to elaborate.

Some people understand this and they structure their language elegantly; their trace dances along the chain of metaphor. I like this, it can be intriguing, even turn me on.

Some can do the same thing, through touch, eye-contact or tone.

I find people hung up on word-selection, or grammar etc are often too stuck in their own heads for me. I usually ask them what word they would prefer me to use? How they react to that is usually quite telling.

If I meet someone it is simply that we met in person; in no way does it infer the sex occurred.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

I love cum, but generally wouldn't meet anyone referring to it as "my load".

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

As English is not my first language, I see things differently and can’t relate too much but what has already been said, I’m not ok with the word “meet”, especially in the context of a person, for example “How old was your last meet?”

Just no.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

•

I couldn't agree more. Keep your lazy adolescent text speak away from my Inbox and any indiscernibly 'stylistic' acronyms.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

I really wish I paid more attention in English studies. If I can't use "meet" anymore would "shall we converge for a coffee?" be any better?

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By *panishRebelMan
over a year ago

Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland

"Being an effective communicator is really impotent to getting your point across

I know it's a spelling mistake.

But this is funny!

Impotent? Important surely was meant.

I think I have a new phrase to play with.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"Being an effective communicator is really impotent to getting your point across

I know it's a spelling mistake.

But this is funny!

Impotent? Important surely was meant.

I think I have a new phrase to play with.

Sometimes the nuance of my humour is lost on some people

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"I really wish I paid more attention in English studies. If I can't use "meet" anymore would "shall we converge for a coffee?" be any better?"

Shall we mutually exist within the same space for a certain amount of time and drink coffee

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

A committee of raccoons sounds like a lot of chaotic fun. Language is kinda important here, but I think clarity is more so. For instance: the constant insistence by some that the order of letters in a threesome combination implies sexuality as well, where just outright stating if you want a bi/straight threesomes is more crucial

LvM

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Naughty fun or anyone asking if I’ve been naughty. It makes me wince and would place a small red outlined flag in my mind. It’s not naughty if it’s consensual, it’s just sex. If it’s not consensual it’s not naughty either… then it’s hugely problematic.

Dates - for me, they’re not dates, they’re meets or socials. It just makes me worry that we’re not on the same page. "

That's interesting, I think it depends on how the language is used. On here in particular with men, rather than women, dates are used to describe... what others would describe as meets but dates make it almost, more palatable? More likely to attract women.

I do understand naughty, it's an odd word to attach to sex. Then again, it's a sign of incompatibility if it turns you off and a useful filter. :D

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I definitely use the language people use as a filtering tool. Anyone with a really crass username is unlikely to get engagement from me. As mentioned earlier on the thread, I'm not keen on "naughty" etc also, we're all consenting adults and sex isn't something bad.

I'm also really not a fan of dehumanising language - for example men who message me, or have profile text, talking about "emptying their load" in to me, or "stretch your pussy" or similar - uhhh if we already know each other intimately then perhaps we can discuss some fun role-playing, but until that point I'm more than a walking fleshlight thanks very much

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By *igDMBMan
over a year ago

romford

Hello everyone,

I can appreciate bad spelling if English isn’t your native tongue, I totally get that and also the English language can be a difficult language to understand especially in word form but, the exception to rule are the people who might be really nice people in real life but, some reason cannot tell the difference between their there or they’re. I know there is many words that sound the same but, in the written word make the writer an uneducated muppet. Words can mean so much and they say a lot about the person writing them.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

Language is key, but it's not about specific words or phrases. I think it is more holistic, where a theme or a feeling evolves out of combinations of phrases. Some people can be exceptionally eloquent using only the most common words. Others have a great vocabulary, but are imprecise and the meaning of their writing gets lost. True brilliance comes from being both evocative and precise.

Calvino describes this as Exactitude: 'An evocation of clear, incisive, memorable visual images, and a language as precise as possible both in choice of words and in expression of the subtleties of thought and imagination.'

Of course, in order to know exactly what to say, you have to know exactly what you mean. Clarity of thought is the first step towards clarity of language, and it is here that most of us mortals fall over. Most of us talk more than we think, and sometimes it shows. This post is a perfect example of this

So what am I actually trying to say? I'm not put off by any individual word or phrase. Context matters. Some people use language in a way that I find really attractive, but it's deeper and more subtle than individual words or phrases.

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By *apidaryMan
over a year ago

Chipping Norton

"Meet as an example. Do you meet people?

What term do you use if not meet?

Are there any terms that make you think you might not be compatible with someone?

Like if they asked you to join their stable/harem/committee of raccoons, would you be put off or think "fuck yes, where do I sign up?"?

Do you place importance on language on here?

Raccoon sex takes over an hour, Wikipedia tells me. Glad to know they don't rush too much; seems more civilised than many species.

Language matters. Like photos they reveal some aspect of the person before you meet them. Then, when you do meet them, the way they speak and the way they look reveal more.

Specific words seem a daft thing to get too hung up on, though. People have different habits, different likes, different patterns. Much more interesting to see how they express themselves than have a checklist of acceptable and unacceptable words. Agree that some of them give me pause, though. Ruining / being ruined, for example; it might be someone is just expressing desire for passionate physical enthusiasm, but the literal meaning is bizarre.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Dates - for me, they’re not dates, they’re meets or socials. It just makes me worry that we’re not on the same page.

I do understand naughty, it's an odd word to attach to sex. Then again, it's a sign of incompatibility if it turns you off and a useful filter. :D"

And ultimately that’s it - it’s all about attracting the right people for us isn’t it? And finding good matches, whatever that means for you!

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Cyril Sneer might have something to say about this Racoon Committee mentioned...

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

This

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

A meet, a social and a date all feel quite seperate for me but language is personal and I would try to use the word that the person prefers. If someone isn't ok with explaining thier use of language then I have a bigger problem as that shows that they can't communicate well nor see that language can have nuance and that could get us into problems later.

There is very little language in it's self that upsets or bothers me. It is the context it is used, how well I know the person using it and my existing relationship with the person that will determine how I feel.

For example someone I am already seeing says they want to fuck me and cum over my tits I will probably like it because I am already engaging with them and know that they can communicate in other ways. Anyone that starts a fab message to me like that. Nope.

If you Meli ask me on a social, a date, a meet, a friendly catch up, out for a pumpkin spiced latte, or to join the raccoon committee I am there regardless.

Someone else I might only be interested in the raccoon committee.

Talking of which I am thinking of setting up a joint taskforce, would the Racoon Committee be interested in working with the Caribou Cabinet?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Language is the only way to test the difference between intention and intent.

Good intentions are just words, intent makes actions happen. Both are easily exposed in language exchanges.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"I really wish I paid more attention in English studies. If I can't use "meet" anymore would "shall we converge for a coffee?" be any better?

Shall we mutually exist within the same space for a certain amount of time and drink coffee

Oh I like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sycophancy is off-putting.

I'd have to know what type of sicko we're talking about to know if I'd fancy them.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It has influence but would be part of an overall clutch of things assessed.

Communication and language is powerful. Words change minds, can bring people together, etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A committee of raccoons sounds like a lot of chaotic fun. Language is kinda important here, but I think clarity is more so. For instance: the constant insistence by some that the order of letters in a threesome combination implies sexuality as well, where just outright stating if you want a bi/straight threesomes is more crucial

LvM"

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"A meet, a social and a date all feel quite seperate for me but language is personal and I would try to use the word that the person prefers. If someone isn't ok with explaining thier use of language then I have a bigger problem as that shows that they can't communicate well nor see that language can have nuance and that could get us into problems later.

Yes, sometimes people can be rather set in their views can't they? Like there's only one true definition of something and if you don't adhere to/use it that way, you're wrong. It's rather dull to be that way, to be so close minded you can't see the joy of language and interpretation.

You learn someone don't you? Their quirks of lexicon, understand more readily what they're trying to say. Embrace their way of talking.

"If you Meli ask me on a social, a date, a meet, a friendly catch up, out for a pumpkin spiced latte, or to join the raccoon committee I am there regardless."

Gosh. So... I'm definitely going to ask you at least one of these. I might keep it a surprise as to which one.

"Talking of which I am thinking of setting up a joint taskforce, would the Racoon Committee be interested in working with the Caribou Cabinet?"

Hell. Yes. We'll discuss it during that aforementioned social/date/meet/PSL. x

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I like it when folk call a spade a spade. I do like a bit of uncouthness. But there is a limit. That limit depends on how much I like a person.

I don’t like sleazy.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"A meet, a social and a date all feel quite seperate for me but language is personal and I would try to use the word that the person prefers. "

A meet, a social and a date are all _very_ different things to me.

A meet means that we are going to have sex.

A social means that we are going to have coffee but nothing else.

A date means that we are going to have coffee but maybe have sex later.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I meet people for a coffee/drink/sex

But I don't have a meet or a social or refer to a person as a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just wondering who wants to join my committee of racoons.

Interviews for raccoons now commencing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

…

Do you place importance on language on here?

No. Not realy. But…

I dislike meet -playmate- play- BBC -bbw, bull, and many more I see used.

But , I do not what they are referring to but I’d never use them myself.

There’s more important things for me to worry about.

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

Words that people use do tell you something about them. Fun, meet, play and so on. The meaning is implied and not explicit.

There's a few reasons why people do this and might differ for the genders. But I would put those words under the playing it safe heading.

Before your time _eli there was a comedy film genre created around language and stereotypes.

"Ooh matron".

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I like straight talking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone offered for me to join their committee of racoons I don't think I could say no.

But yeah I just call them meets.

Language that puts me off is when they talk to me like I'm just there as a sex toy and they'll call me a slut or anything else that's equally cringe. If someone called me a sissy then that's an instant block as I am a femboy, not a sissy. It baffles me that there are still people that don't understand the difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Respectful language

Always

It is too hard to do humour language on here too many do not know me. Or they me.

Sex language should be used in a seducing tone, not oi luv wanna fuck me now language as opening tone. Pictures are language too.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I'm not too bothered by what words people use, it's the general vibe of the sentence that's important to me.

I personally don't understand the dislike for the word meet on here. "I'm meeting my mates at the cinema at 6" nobody is going to say eww yo that.

I'm for people expressing themselves however they feel comfortable. I may not be compatible with them and that's ok.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"I'm not too bothered by what words people use, it's the general vibe of the sentence that's important to me.

I personally don't understand the dislike for the word meet on here. "I'm meeting my mates at the cinema at 6" nobody is going to say eww yo that.

I'm for people expressing themselves however they feel comfortable. I may not be compatible with them and that's ok. "

That's quite different to someone saying they have a meet tonight though

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I'm not too bothered by what words people use, it's the general vibe of the sentence that's important to me.

I personally don't understand the dislike for the word meet on here. "I'm meeting my mates at the cinema at 6" nobody is going to say eww yo that.

I'm for people expressing themselves however they feel comfortable. I may not be compatible with them and that's ok.

That's quite different to someone saying they have a meet tonight though "

So "I'm going to meet my friend at the cinema at 6" vs "I'm going to meet a hot guy at the swingers club" are vastly different

Okie dokie

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"I'm not too bothered by what words people use, it's the general vibe of the sentence that's important to me.

I personally don't understand the dislike for the word meet on here. "I'm meeting my mates at the cinema at 6" nobody is going to say eww yo that.

I'm for people expressing themselves however they feel comfortable. I may not be compatible with them and that's ok.

That's quite different to someone saying they have a meet tonight though

So "I'm going to meet my friend at the cinema at 6" vs "I'm going to meet a hot guy at the swingers club" are vastly different

Okie dokie "

No, that's not what I actually typed.

Referring to the hot guy at the swinging club as a 'meet' is what I'd find weird

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Meet as an example. Do you meet people?

What term do you use if not meet?

Are there any terms that make you think you might not be compatible with someone?

Like if they asked you to join their stable/harem/committee of raccoons, would you be put off or think "fuck yes, where do I sign up?"?

Do you place importance on language on here?

I have revised my opinion slightly, since yesterday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not keen on the word ‘social’ used in the world of fab/swinging. I prefer meet for a drink/coffee.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I'm not too bothered by what words people use, it's the general vibe of the sentence that's important to me.

I personally don't understand the dislike for the word meet on here. "I'm meeting my mates at the cinema at 6" nobody is going to say eww yo that.

I'm for people expressing themselves however they feel comfortable. I may not be compatible with them and that's ok.

That's quite different to someone saying they have a meet tonight though

So "I'm going to meet my friend at the cinema at 6" vs "I'm going to meet a hot guy at the swingers club" are vastly different

Okie dokie

No, that's not what I actually typed.

Referring to the hot guy at the swinging club as a 'meet' is what I'd find weird "

The terminology of Fab is meets is it not? We have a Meets and events to advertise we want to meet, and a Meet Requests and Parties forum. So really isn't that surprising that people use the same terminology no? Hence why I find it bizarre that people take offence to the term. But people are people and try question everything humanly possible.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"I'm not too bothered by what words people use, it's the general vibe of the sentence that's important to me.

I personally don't understand the dislike for the word meet on here. "I'm meeting my mates at the cinema at 6" nobody is going to say eww yo that.

I'm for people expressing themselves however they feel comfortable. I may not be compatible with them and that's ok.

That's quite different to someone saying they have a meet tonight though

So "I'm going to meet my friend at the cinema at 6" vs "I'm going to meet a hot guy at the swingers club" are vastly different

Okie dokie

No, that's not what I actually typed.

Referring to the hot guy at the swinging club as a 'meet' is what I'd find weird

I guess the nuance of what I typed is lost on you.

I won't try to explain it another way

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I'm not too bothered by what words people use, it's the general vibe of the sentence that's important to me.

I personally don't understand the dislike for the word meet on here. "I'm meeting my mates at the cinema at 6" nobody is going to say eww yo that.

I'm for people expressing themselves however they feel comfortable. I may not be compatible with them and that's ok.

That's quite different to someone saying they have a meet tonight though

So "I'm going to meet my friend at the cinema at 6" vs "I'm going to meet a hot guy at the swingers club" are vastly different

Okie dokie

No, that's not what I actually typed.

Referring to the hot guy at the swinging club as a 'meet' is what I'd find weird

I guess the nuance of what I typed is lost on you.

I won't try to explain it another way "

It wasn't lost, I don't find you particularly subtle.

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