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Being a pleaser !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

All my life i have done nothing than please people, i have always tried to do the right thing with family and friends.

My self esteem was stripped away as a child and in a controling marriage also.

This has lead me to have no confidence in my self right through to now. The pleasing is still happening even while i am on fab's. I always tend to go with the flow instead of taking the lead.

I think it's a bad case of the heart ruling the head. Being a newbie to the single world of swinging i am trying so hard to turn my confidence, my self esteem and my way of dealing with everything around so that i am successful in what i do.

I just wanted to share how i really feel about being here as i wanted it to make the woman that i want to be and not the person i am !!

Sorry for ranting but i suppose today of all days make you think about the people that you can't have and the people you can !!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

seek life coaching and deal with the any issues from the past.... then, you can move forward.

swinging can help, it can also set you back.

good luck

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By *exySwing3rsCouple
over a year ago

In Your Hearts

Pleasing and helping others can be very therapeutic and fulfilling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pleasing and helping others can be very therapeutic and fulfilling."

But also tiring and ungratifying. Please yourself. If others benefit from that, fantastic. If not, at least you're happy and contented.

Trying to please people is a way of seeking approval from others. Learn to love yourself (easier said than done I admit) and then others will love you for who you really are.

Personally, I admire you for being so honest and up front.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Pleasing and helping others can be very therapeutic and fulfilling.

But also tiring and ungratifying. Please yourself. If others benefit from that, fantastic. If not, at least you're happy and contented.

Trying to please people is a way of seeking approval from others. Learn to love yourself (easier said than done I admit) and then others will love you for who you really are.

Personally, I admire you for being so honest and up front. "

Thank you means a lot to me X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pleasing and helping others can be very therapeutic and fulfilling.

But also tiring and ungratifying. Please yourself. If others benefit from that, fantastic. If not, at least you're happy and contented.

Trying to please people is a way of seeking approval from others. Learn to love yourself (easier said than done I admit) and then others will love you for who you really are.

Personally, I admire you for being so honest and up front. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Learning to say "no", or state clearly your own wishes can be a dificult and long journey when you have been acting in a diferent manner for long.

Fearing hurting another persons feelings can be a great block on your own feelings.

It can be done though, and as with many changes, small steps.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"All my life i have done nothing than please people, i have always tried to do the right thing with family and friends.

My self esteem was stripped away as a child and in a controling marriage also.

This has lead me to have no confidence in my self right through to now. The pleasing is still happening even while i am on fab's. I always tend to go with the flow instead of taking the lead.

I think it's a bad case of the heart ruling the head. Being a newbie to the single world of swinging i am trying so hard to turn my confidence, my self esteem and my way of dealing with everything around so that i am successful in what i do.

I just wanted to share how i really feel about being here as i wanted it to make the woman that i want to be and not the person i am !!

Sorry for ranting but i suppose today of all days make you think about the people that you can't have and the people you can !!

"

Not everyone who reads this will wish you well. There are preditors waiting for the unwary.

Pleasing and helping family and friends is one think, aim to be a bit more "self centred" here.

Have fun!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

you dont have to be a twat to get on, you just have to be happy you're not one

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"you dont have to be a twat to get on, you just have to be happy you're not one"

Great choice of words

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

Self worth is a rare thing, not everyone has it. Admitting any faults you have and then finding a way of improving is a good start. I never really learnt to say no and it only in the last few years I have ever put myself first.

Hope you have fun and that people start to take you for who you are and not what they can get from you

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"you dont have to be a twat to get on, you just have to be happy you're not one

Great choice of words "

Thanks for the smile lol

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