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 for beginners.
Starting off with the first topic: first meets. You'll notice I've not started with Profile / Messages, but there's a lot of discussion on them already and I wanted to start off with something less discussed first. Those topics will come later hopefully.
First meets are usually socials, right? What makes a good first meet? Is attraction instant for you or do you like being wooed? Are you a natural "rizz" person or is that something you had to learn? Did you ever feel guilty for wasting the time of the person you met? How did you get over that?
This is just the initial list I had in my mind. Please feel free to ask more questions in the comments.
Disclaimer: this is just a general FAQ style thread, the advice may not be applicable to the person you're talking to - read their profile! | |||
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" First meets are usually socials, right? What makes a good first meet? Is attraction instant for you or do you like being wooed? Are you a natural "rizz" person or is that something you had to learn? Did you ever feel guilty for wasting the time of the person you met? How did you get over that? " First meets can be anything you and the person you’re meeting want them to be. You two or the multitude of you make the rules. Depends what you’re after. If it’s a social perhaps getting on, finding chemistry, whetting the appetite for more. If it’s a sex meet, good sex would be the goal I’d reckon. For me, the moment I receive a message I am either intrigued enough to actually open it, or it goes to the bin unopened. Those I do open, a very rare few receive a response. When they do, it’s because there’s initial attraction from my end. I use social meets to confirm my thought of initial attraction felt through messages, and infractions up to the meet. I can chat to anyone and everyone. I don’t think that makes me a charmer. It makes me socially adaptable. For me, social meets don’t push me out of my comfort zone as I can easily talk to someone even if it’s disastrous and not going well, meeting for a coffee would only take up fifteen minutes of my time. I’d drink fast and find a way to exit politely. I’ve never felt I’ve wasted anyone’s time. I’ve had social meets that have never led to sex but I’ve made a new friend. I wouldn’t have made that friendship if I hadn’t meet them. I’ve had meets where I’ve thought about ripping the others clothes off right then and there but restrained myself. The only wasted time was not ripping their clothes off and waiting for a second meet. | |||
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" First meets are usually socials, right? What makes a good first meet? Is attraction instant for you or do you like being wooed? Are you a natural "rizz" person or is that something you had to learn? Did you ever feel guilty for wasting the time of the person you met? How did you get over that? First meets can be anything you and the person you’re meeting want them to be. You two or the multitude of you make the rules. Depends what you’re after. If it’s a social perhaps getting on, finding chemistry, whetting the appetite for more. If it’s a sex meet, good sex would be the goal I’d reckon. For me, the moment I receive a message I am either intrigued enough to actually open it, or it goes to the bin unopened. Those I do open, a very rare few receive a response. When they do, it’s because there’s initial attraction from my end. I use social meets to confirm my thought of initial attaction felt through messages, and infractions up to the meet. I can chat to anyone and everyone. I don’t think that makes me a charmer. It makes me socially adaptable. For me, social meets don’t push me out of my comfort zone as I can easily talk to someone even if it’s disastrous and not going well, meeting for a coffee would only take up fifteen minutes of my time. I’d drink fast and find a way to exit politely. I’ve never felt I’ve wasted anyone’s time. I’ve had social meets that have never led to sex but I’ve made a new friend. I wouldn’t have made that friendship if I hadn’t meet them. I’ve had meets where I’ve thought about ripping the others clothes off right then and there but restrained myself. The only wasted time was not ripping their clothes off and waiting for a second meet. " Thank you, I like the start to this thread - these responses are detailed! 
A follow-up if you'd like: could you elaborate on what you mean by "finding chemistry" please? If the conversation flowed but it was about non-sexual topics only, would that still indicate chemistry? My hypothesis seems to be no for most, although it's a yes for me.
I'm very similar in that a social meet usually just re-affirms things for me, we may be in the minority though I think. | |||
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"They should be enjoyable for both or there won't be a second. Some good chemistry, laughter and kisses that leave me wanting more are the ideal for me. " Haha, the 'c' word - I knew it'd come up a lot in this thread! If the series is successful, it'd need a glossary. If you'd like, could you answer the question in my last post as well please about chemistry? | |||
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" First meets are usually socials, right? What makes a good first meet? Is attraction instant for you or do you like being wooed? Are you a natural "rizz" person or is that something you had to learn? Did you ever feel guilty for wasting the time of the person you met? How did you get over that? First meets can be anything you and the person you’re meeting want them to be. You two or the multitude of you make the rules. Depends what you’re after. If it’s a social perhaps getting on, finding chemistry, whetting the appetite for more. If it’s a sex meet, good sex would be the goal I’d reckon. For me, the moment I receive a message I am either intrigued enough to actually open it, or it goes to the bin unopened. Those I do open, a very rare few receive a response. When they do, it’s because there’s initial attraction from my end. I use social meets to confirm my thought of initial attaction felt through messages, and infractions up to the meet. I can chat to anyone and everyone. I don’t think that makes me a charmer. It makes me socially adaptable. For me, social meets don’t push me out of my comfort zone as I can easily talk to someone even if it’s disastrous and not going well, meeting for a coffee would only take up fifteen minutes of my time. I’d drink fast and find a way to exit politely. I’ve never felt I’ve wasted anyone’s time. I’ve had social meets that have never led to sex but I’ve made a new friend. I wouldn’t have made that friendship if I hadn’t meet them. I’ve had meets where I’ve thought about ripping the others clothes off right then and there but restrained myself. The only wasted time was not ripping their clothes off and waiting for a second meet. Thank you, I like the start to this thread - these responses are detailed!
A follow-up if you'd like: could you elaborate on what you mean by "finding chemistry" please? If the conversation flowed but it was about non-sexual topics only, would that still indicate chemistry? My hypothesis seems to be no for most, although it's a yes for me.
I'm very similar in that a social meet usually just re-affirms things for me, we may be in the minority though I think."I feel I’m in the minority of users because of how I choose to use the site. Does it bother me? No. It works for me so not reason to worry about what others are doing. Everyone has the right and should use the site the way that suits them best. Chemistry isn’t something that can be described. It doesn’t have to be about the topics of the conversations had but other things such as how you felt around the person, if the conversations seemed forced or flowed with ease, did they seem interested in getting to know me or as it all about how brilliant they are, etc. For me, the one thing I look for definitively is how the person treats other. If they have a way of talking to staff or about others in the coffee shop or wherever as if he’s above them, I will never be interested no matter how physically attractive he may be. On my last social meet, the person I met didn’t seem put off when I told them I’d be taking a food box to a man sleeping rough in front of the station. In fact they accompanied me to find the man sleeping rough and spent a few minutes with me chatting to the man before we gave him the box of food. Totally off topic and non sexual in any way but he could have thought I was mad or otherwise felt negative about it. Do I do this always? No, it’s not my go to on a meet up if just so happened that I eat like a bird and food waste is not cool. | |||
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" First meets are usually socials, right? What makes a good first meet? Is attraction instant for you or do you like being wooed? Are you a natural "rizz" person or is that something you had to learn? Did you ever feel guilty for wasting the time of the person you met? How did you get over that? First meets can be anything you and the person you’re meeting want them to be. You two or the multitude of you make the rules. Depends what you’re after. If it’s a social perhaps getting on, finding chemistry, whetting the appetite for more. If it’s a sex meet, good sex would be the goal I’d reckon. For me, the moment I receive a message I am either intrigued enough to actually open it, or it goes to the bin unopened. Those I do open, a very rare few receive a response. When they do, it’s because there’s initial attraction from my end. I use social meets to confirm my thought of initial attaction felt through messages, and infractions up to the meet. I can chat to anyone and everyone. I don’t think that makes me a charmer. It makes me socially adaptable. For me, social meets don’t push me out of my comfort zone as I can easily talk to someone even if it’s disastrous and not going well, meeting for a coffee would only take up fifteen minutes of my time. I’d drink fast and find a way to exit politely. I’ve never felt I’ve wasted anyone’s time. I’ve had social meets that have never led to sex but I’ve made a new friend. I wouldn’t have made that friendship if I hadn’t meet them. I’ve had meets where I’ve thought about ripping the others clothes off right then and there but restrained myself. The only wasted time was not ripping their clothes off and waiting for a second meet. Thank you, I like the start to this thread - these responses are detailed!
A follow-up if you'd like: could you elaborate on what you mean by "finding chemistry" please? If the conversation flowed but it was about non-sexual topics only, would that still indicate chemistry? My hypothesis seems to be no for most, although it's a yes for me.
I'm very similar in that a social meet usually just re-affirms things for me, we may be in the minority though I think.
I feel I’m in the minority of users because of how I choose to use the site. Does it bother me? No. It works for me so not reason to worry about what others are doing. Everyone has the right and should use the site the way that suits them best.
Chemistry isn’t something that can be described. It doesn’t have to be about the topics of the conversations had but other things such as how you felt around the person, if the conversations seemed forced or flowed with ease, did they seem interested in getting to know me or as it all about how brilliant they are, etc. For me, the one thing I look for definitively is how the person treats other. If they have a way of talking to staff or about others in the coffee shop or wherever as if he’s above them, I will never be interested no matter how physically attractive he may be.
On my last social meet, the person I met didn’t seem put off when I told them I’d be taking a food box to a man sleeping rough in front of the station. In fact they accompanied me to find the man sleeping rough and spent a few minutes with me chatting to the man before we gave him the box of food. Totally off topic and non sexual in any way but he could have thought I was mad or otherwise felt negative about it. Do I do this always? No, it’s not my go to on a meet up if just so happened that I eat like a bird and food waste is not cool. "Excellent reply, thank you! I agree with all of your points although it'd be shocking to me if someone would be put off by you giving food to a person. I think the act was very wholesome though. | |||
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" First meets are usually socials, right? What makes a good first meet? Is attraction instant for you or do you like being wooed? Are you a natural "rizz" person or is that something you had to learn? Did you ever feel guilty for wasting the time of the person you met? How did you get over that? First meets can be anything you and the person you’re meeting want them to be. You two or the multitude of you make the rules. Depends what you’re after. If it’s a social perhaps getting on, finding chemistry, whetting the appetite for more. If it’s a sex meet, good sex would be the goal I’d reckon. For me, the moment I receive a message I am either intrigued enough to actually open it, or it goes to the bin unopened. Those I do open, a very rare few receive a response. When they do, it’s because there’s initial attraction from my end. I use social meets to confirm my thought of initial attaction felt through messages, and infractions up to the meet. I can chat to anyone and everyone. I don’t think that makes me a charmer. It makes me socially adaptable. For me, social meets don’t push me out of my comfort zone as I can easily talk to someone even if it’s disastrous and not going well, meeting for a coffee would only take up fifteen minutes of my time. I’d drink fast and find a way to exit politely. I’ve never felt I’ve wasted anyone’s time. I’ve had social meets that have never led to sex but I’ve made a new friend. I wouldn’t have made that friendship if I hadn’t meet them. I’ve had meets where I’ve thought about ripping the others clothes off right then and there but restrained myself. The only wasted time was not ripping their clothes off and waiting for a second meet. Thank you, I like the start to this thread - these responses are detailed!
A follow-up if you'd like: could you elaborate on what you mean by "finding chemistry" please? If the conversation flowed but it was about non-sexual topics only, would that still indicate chemistry? My hypothesis seems to be no for most, although it's a yes for me.
I'm very similar in that a social meet usually just re-affirms things for me, we may be in the minority though I think.
I feel I’m in the minority of users because of how I choose to use the site. Does it bother me? No. It works for me so not reason to worry about what others are doing. Everyone has the right and should use the site the way that suits them best.
Chemistry isn’t something that can be described. It doesn’t have to be about the topics of the conversations had but other things such as how you felt around the person, if the conversations seemed forced or flowed with ease, did they seem interested in getting to know me or as it all about how brilliant they are, etc. For me, the one thing I look for definitively is how the person treats other. If they have a way of talking to staff or about others in the coffee shop or wherever as if he’s above them, I will never be interested no matter how physically attractive he may be.
On my last social meet, the person I met didn’t seem put off when I told them I’d be taking a food box to a man sleeping rough in front of the station. In fact they accompanied me to find the man sleeping rough and spent a few minutes with me chatting to the man before we gave him the box of food. Totally off topic and non sexual in any way but he could have thought I was mad or otherwise felt negative about it. Do I do this always? No, it’s not my go to on a meet up if just so happened that I eat like a bird and food waste is not cool.
Excellent reply, thank you! I agree with all of your points although it'd be shocking to me if someone would be put off by you giving food to a person. I think the act was very wholesome though."Put off was not the right term, more so that they may see it as wasteful in terms of their time. As in, oh you need to do that now? Or right I’ll leave you to it and off they go. | |||
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" First meets are usually socials, right? What makes a good first meet? Is attraction instant for you or do you like being wooed? Are you a natural "rizz" person or is that something you had to learn? Did you ever feel guilty for wasting the time of the person you met? How did you get over that? First meets can be anything you and the person you’re meeting want them to be. You two or the multitude of you make the rules. Depends what you’re after. If it’s a social perhaps getting on, finding chemistry, whetting the appetite for more. If it’s a sex meet, good sex would be the goal I’d reckon. For me, the moment I receive a message I am either intrigued enough to actually open it, or it goes to the bin unopened. Those I do open, a very rare few receive a response. When they do, it’s because there’s initial attraction from my end. I use social meets to confirm my thought of initial attaction felt through messages, and infractions up to the meet. I can chat to anyone and everyone. I don’t think that makes me a charmer. It makes me socially adaptable. For me, social meets don’t push me out of my comfort zone as I can easily talk to someone even if it’s disastrous and not going well, meeting for a coffee would only take up fifteen minutes of my time. I’d drink fast and find a way to exit politely. I’ve never felt I’ve wasted anyone’s time. I’ve had social meets that have never led to sex but I’ve made a new friend. I wouldn’t have made that friendship if I hadn’t meet them. I’ve had meets where I’ve thought about ripping the others clothes off right then and there but restrained myself. The only wasted time was not ripping their clothes off and waiting for a second meet. Thank you, I like the start to this thread - these responses are detailed!
A follow-up if you'd like: could you elaborate on what you mean by "finding chemistry" please? If the conversation flowed but it was about non-sexual topics only, would that still indicate chemistry? My hypothesis seems to be no for most, although it's a yes for me.
I'm very similar in that a social meet usually just re-affirms things for me, we may be in the minority though I think.
I feel I’m in the minority of users because of how I choose to use the site. Does it bother me? No. It works for me so not reason to worry about what others are doing. Everyone has the right and should use the site the way that suits them best.
Chemistry isn’t something that can be described. It doesn’t have to be about the topics of the conversations had but other things such as how you felt around the person, if the conversations seemed forced or flowed with ease, did they seem interested in getting to know me or as it all about how brilliant they are, etc. For me, the one thing I look for definitively is how the person treats other. If they have a way of talking to staff or about others in the coffee shop or wherever as if he’s above them, I will never be interested no matter how physically attractive he may be.
On my last social meet, the person I met didn’t seem put off when I told them I’d be taking a food box to a man sleeping rough in front of the station. In fact they accompanied me to find the man sleeping rough and spent a few minutes with me chatting to the man before we gave him the box of food. Totally off topic and non sexual in any way but he could have thought I was mad or otherwise felt negative about it. Do I do this always? No, it’s not my go to on a meet up if just so happened that I eat like a bird and food waste is not cool.
Excellent reply, thank you! I agree with all of your points although it'd be shocking to me if someone would be put off by you giving food to a person. I think the act was very wholesome though.
Put off was not the right term, more so that they may see it as wasteful in terms of their time. As in, oh you need to do that now? Or right I’ll leave you to it and off they go. "That'd be deplorable behaviour if someone did that. I hope nobody lacks empathy to such an extent. | |||
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