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stay for kids..or leave for me..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thinking of staying in a relationship for a kids sake will never work just make things worse....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".."

If it's relationship question you're referrring too, leave if you're unhappy and making your partner unhappy, but maintain contact with your children and dont let them be used as pawns in any hostilities that may ensue.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How can your kids hating you be worse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How can your kids hating you be worse?"

you need to clarify the situation a bit more clearly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your kids wont hate you time heals if you stay and your unhappy then there will be more arguments ect.... They will pick up on this and probs become resentfull

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..

If it's relationship question you're referrring too, leave if you're unhappy and making your partner unhappy, but maintain contact with your children and dont let them be used as pawns in any hostilities that may ensue."

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

Are you on about stay or leave fab?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ment my kids hating me will be worse..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grass aint all ways grenner on other side i just went frew the same thing but my ex was a cxxt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ment my kids hating me will be worse.."

Your kids will be less happy if you stay together, if you really aren't happy.

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By *andF_funCouple
over a year ago

Philly PA area

My mom stayed until I was finished school. Not a good graduation when your supposed to be celebrating knowing your parents are splitting up. And, all those nights listening to them argue.

Leave for your AND the kids mental well being.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Try relate first . Sounds complicated to me . Best wishes for whatever you decide. Act in haste regret at leisure

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I try to keep everyone happy..

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Is this the partner you are swinging with on your profile?

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By *arl828Man
over a year ago

warrington, Cheshire

You're kids wont hate you if you leave, if they are old enough to understand explain the situation to them, and tell them just because you're no longer with their mum you'll always be there for them. My little girl was nearly 3 when her mum asked me to leave and she is 4 now and she tells me why mummy and daddy aren't together because we were always shouting.

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By *azzaahhWoman
over a year ago

north wales / chester


"Thinking of staying in a relationship for a kids sake will never work just make things worse...."

second and third this

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thing is i went threw this and said id never put my kids in my place ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

only you can decide, you know that.

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By *arl828Man
over a year ago

warrington, Cheshire


"How can your kids hating you be worse?

you need to clarify the situation a bit more clearly. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thinking of staying in a relationship for a kids sake will never work just make things worse....

second and third this "

Never say never, depends on circumstances. I did it so my kids could enjoying having a ma and a pa to come home to. Wasn't easy though.

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By *arl828Man
over a year ago

warrington, Cheshire


"Thing is i went threw this and said id never put my kids in my place ..

"

So you'd rather stay with your missus and let your kids grow up thinking that fighting and having a row is ok as long as the family dynamic isn't disrupted, that is total rubbish, I always said I'd never stay for the sake of the kids, as soon as my ex asked me to leave I was in my own place in 3 weeks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Dad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some things are worth fighting for!

You haven't said why you want to leave, and that's your own business, how about trying relate to see if you can work things out?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am the mrs

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

My friend and her husband decided to stay living together for the sake of their Two children, once they had made that joint decision and had agreed not to argue in front of their children, the relief they both found in knowing that they had made the right choice resulted in them staying together for Seven more years and becoming friends again.

When their youngest started college they did split, it allowed the children to adapt to the situation in those Seven years and the couple remain good friends several more years down the line.

So it can work in some circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My friend and her husband decided to stay living together for the sake of their Two children, once they had made that joint decision and had agreed not to argue in front of their children, the relief they both found in knowing that they had made the right choice resulted in them staying together for Seven more years and becoming friends again.

When their youngest started college they did split, it allowed the children to adapt to the situation in those Seven years and the couple remain good friends several more years down the line.

So it can work in some circumstances."

yes, my x n I have maintained a friendly relationship since we separated and are able to spend family days with our now extended family together.

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By *arl828Man
over a year ago

warrington, Cheshire


"Dad"


"I am the mrs"

Ah I get you now, are the kids coming with you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the hardest things I have ever done was to leave my kids with their dad. I knew I could not support them either emotionally or financially and that staying with their dad would be better for them in long run. That was 5 yeas ago now and I have a fantastic relationship with all 3 kids and funnily enough their dad and I get on just fine as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going through this myself at the moment dumped him on 30th Dec and joined here a few days later not looking back. But I have an 8 yr old and she is finding it really hard to understand why I don't love daddy any more. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/02/13 03:47:32]

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By *xpresMan
over a year ago

Elland

Never stay for the kids..

It sounds bad but its true you will argue more n then in time you wil resent the little ones you tried to protect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm confused whether ur talking about leaving on ur own or leaving but keeping the kids with u?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thing is i went threw this and said id never put my kids in my place ..

"

Then stick to your promise and sort your problems out. Has your wife seen this thread? I'd be packing your bags for you if I was her and saw this.

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By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

It is a bit confusing, but if things are that bad leave if you can't take your children make sure you maintain contact etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well that owd chestnut its all depends whats at stake most stay for financial reasons and dont know how to live on there own ...but me.... Iam free as bird all alone in bedsit land I could keep you company if itgets tough

Tarzan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would help if the OP explained her post, but, in all honesty I don't feel this post should be in the forums.

It should be something she discusses in private with her partner.

It almost seems like she is counting up who says yes leave, no stay, so should she decide to leave, she can blame people on Fabs.

OP, talk to your partner, try relate as others have suggested and come to decision yourself, as you are the only one that can make that decision

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went through this ten years ago we split but got back togeather for the kids and financial reasons, stop the arguments and fighting and you've a chance , my marriage isn't perfect but were great friends and it works , I love her but I've never been in love with her if that makes sense.

She says she stays with me cos she's never found anyone that she gets on so well with lol.

We've been togeather 28 yrs nearly, splitting up isn't always the answer.

Hope this helps in some way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a relationship isn't working staying for the kids won't make it.

They can still have a happy life with you separate.

Just be there for them,even if you don't live together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If this isn't just a temporary glitch, which the grown ups can sort out.... Then leave, for the sake of the children....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope the answers help you OP. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your kids wont hate you time heals if you stay and your unhappy then there will be more arguments ect.... They will pick up on this and probs become resentfull "

Want to bet my eldest don't want to know me lol I am his sperm donar as far as he is concerned. He hates me with a passion yet my middle son is now living with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The other thing if leaving someone for someone else that's got to be the biggest kick in the teeth so put your tin hat on and build a nuclear bomb shelter. Coz the fall out is nasty and can get messy. Leaving and having time on your own can be less messy as there is not a 3rd person to blame

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for input guys well most ov you..im working on it.. kids with me deffo..wud never leave them..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stayed in my marriage for years for the kids and all that did was make everyone unhappy. I left in the end 10 years ago and it was the best thing for us all. I have a great relationship now with my two grown up daughters who never held it against me because I maintained regular contact with them. My ex wife and I get on better now than we ever did when we were together so it can work if all parties are reasonable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My friend and her husband decided to stay living together for the sake of their Two children, once they had made that joint decision and had agreed not to argue in front of their children, the relief they both found in knowing that they had made the right choice resulted in them staying together for Seven more years and becoming friends again.

When their youngest started college they did split, it allowed the children to adapt to the situation in those Seven years and the couple remain good friends several more years down the line.

So it can work in some circumstances."

I have a friend too who did exactly the same thing, he and his partner are really great friends now and both have super relationships with their children (now grown up) I guess depending on why you want to leave will have a bearing on it all but obviously we don't know all of your details.

Good luck with it whatever you decide

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

Wish you all the best in what ever you decide to do .. not an easy decision to make

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

See if your partner will sit down and talk with you and try decide a way forward that your both happy with.

My split was messy with a 3rd person involved and he didnt consider what was right for the children or me.

If you can decide together what is best for you all but decide it together but keep the children as the prority x

Fruit x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ended my marriage a year ago I support my children and have my three youngest 2 nights a week but my two eldest refuse to speak to me or my new partner I'm hoping time will sort things out

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks again for input...x

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