FabSwingers.com forum: Worst thing you've heard or had said during sex...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So.. This should be fun..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BAAAAAAYYYYYYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

(whispered like Gollum from Lord of the Rings and it wasn't even an impression, she just sounded like it at the time and I also have a fear of babies)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I came ," ha ha , you look like grandpa Gog "

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By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter

honestly...

"I think I'm having a heart attack"

it wasn't, just cramp in the chest wall for the person concerned, but it was an instant dampener.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not part of the subject , but i laugh when i cum

when a person who does not know me , hears me come , lol dont know what they think , but they seem to like it .

hmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attention…. Attention…. This is not a drill… This is not a drill ……

Would all guests immediately proceed to emergency muster area at the rear of the hotel….

This is not a drill… This is not a drill...

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By *sprey6Man
over a year ago

Here!

Quick come on my chest, that sounds like my dads car!

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By *ixties-duoMan
over a year ago

keighley

"can you take ur shoes off please when ur on the bed"

inadvertently went in the cam room at cupids and didnt realise the whole club cud see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When having sex in a telephone box once we both froze as someone started speaking " please hang up and try again " , we had knocked the handset off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Matthew your tea is ready.... Argh.

That was my ex's mother's cries as she walked in while we were having sex!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy who sounded like Chewbacca howling when he came. Every one else stopped what they were doing and stared open mouthed while he was totally oblivious with his eyes closed howling.

Dont get me wrong i do enjoy abit of noise vocally in the heat of the moment,but that was scary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it in yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damn that's tight. " wrong hole fool"

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Has that man got a gun?".....

Whispered to me by a rather frightened young Dutch guy I had met on holiday and had sloped off to a quiet beach with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm just not that into sex" was the biggest turn off for me... Pretty much stopped the evening...

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Attention…. Attention…. This is not a drill… This is not a drill ……

Would all guests immediately proceed to emergency muster area at the rear of the hotel….

This is not a drill… This is not a drill...

Yep, I've had that.

Half an hour standing round in a cold car park in stockings and suspenders, a flasher mac and fuck me heels and nothing else does tend to cool the ardour

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

'I've only got half an hour...'

blummin' lightweights

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After having sex with my girlfriend i said to her "did you enjoy it then" her responce was.. And i quote "well.. Im a good acter" completely crushed me..

She was joking but i was devastated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Squeel like a pig bitch.

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"A guy who sounded like Chewbacca howling when he came. Every one else stopped what they were doing and stared open mouthed while he was totally oblivious with his eyes closed howling.

Dont get me wrong i do enjoy abit of noise vocally in the heat of the moment,but that was scary.

I knew a guy who made that much noise on the leadup to him cummin. He went on with these intensive moans and groans half the crowd in the club just said 'oh ffs just get on with it'. Eventually after giving more warning than a summer storm he reached plateau and peaked giving it the loudest bluddy moans and groans ever.

I think even the guy on the door lit a fag up after that one

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/02/13 20:30:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know this might not be an opportune moment but I used to be a man!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hmmm that ceiling needs repainting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Carry on but do you mind if i watch Eastenders"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/02/13 05:50:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once told a girl when she fell off squating on my cock "well your crap" got a dig and kept playing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really the worst thing to hear but once when myself and K first got together and she only visited once a month we were having a rather energetic and noisy session when all I could was cheering and a round of applaused when K orgasmed.

Realised it was the neighbours outside our house and we'd left the window open so they could hear us, kinda threw me off my stroke haha

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

years ago, when i was married i arrived home after a business trip to France. I had been away 10 days.Got home thru night....Maybe around 2am, decided not to waken the Mrs so got undressed downstairs and went up to bed. As i went into the bedroom, in the dark she whispered " You'd better get yer shoes on, Mark is due home"

Needless to say the fecking light went straight on !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"years ago, when i was married i arrived home after a business trip to France. I had been away 10 days.Got home thru night....Maybe around 2am, decided not to waken the Mrs so got undressed downstairs and went up to bed. As i went into the bedroom, in the dark she whispered " You'd better get yer shoes on, Mark is due home"

Needless to say the fecking light went straight on !"

Ooooppppssss bet that went down like a lead balloon ouch. I notice you said when you was married lol

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

"Is that it"

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a fart is da worse I've had, passion killer

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Needless to say the fecking light went straight on !

Ooooppppssss bet that went down like a lead balloon ouch. I notice you said when you was married lol "

Yes, the focus is on the word "Was"

Call me shallow but it does sow seeds of doubt lol

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

Hurry up.

Standard expression from my ex wife during our once a month sex sessions. Now you know why she is the ex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't breath stop

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I can't breath stop

If they've got enough breath to say it they aren't really suffocating

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By *inky BunnyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Do you want lamb or pork for your dinner tomorrow?" quizzed my young EX-wife bang in the middle of some intense screwing. A week later I moved out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A name mix up.... it's happened a few times oopsey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worst I had is a nosebleed.

Worst I heard "Think I may have shit on your hand"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

aaah cnnnnt dddyptoyt!

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