FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Letting people 'in'

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How easy do you find it ?

Do you trust on sight or do you take a more calculated / cautious approach ?

Or perhaps more interestingly, are you usually calculated / cautious, but have had someone come along and completely disarm you ?

Am not talking swinging as such, just relationships in general.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trust no-one. Always suspicious. Keep everyone guessing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I let them in just so far but always on my guard and i cant see me changing anytime soon. People have to prove themselves to me over time, only then do i start trusting. (but never fully~)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I trust no-one. Always suspicious. Keep everyone guessing. "

Don't ya just !

What colour is ur car this week ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remember that film "the Fokkers"?

Circle of trust

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never do it im terrible i close up to everything but i know i do it.

But when i wasn't looking and never thought i would want to get into anything along came a guy n knocked the wind out of me.

I like him and i know he likes me and we get on a treat and have lot of fun together but i don't speak about feelings and emotions and when he tries i tend to laugh it off and change the subject

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im close to those who know me best but i still dont give fully, i always keep 90% to myself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to let anyone in but from past experiences I have now because cautious and will only let people I know can't hurt me know how I'm feeling.

Let my FWB in a little and felt so content with him for him to crush me at the weekend, so that will teach me for letting anyone close to me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Im close to those who know me best but i still dont give fully, i always keep 90% to myself "

But from what I've read of your contributions here over the last 18 months Peaches, 10 % of you is still worth having

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh always bussy, its the best bit

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

if its in everyday life i trust whoever i meet and give people the benfit of the doubt until proven otherwise,but i can take an instant dislike to someone and iv never been wrong.i have been called too trusting for my own good and quite often that has proved true

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'm happy to talk about me and sex and how I can be involved. I occasionally let slip my feelings about situations to women. I'm discreet about stuff but with no names ever mentioned, have chatted a little about sexual things I've done. Potential enquiries about my family are not answered except in the very broadest and vaguest of terms as it's not relevant. I never mention StarWars.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

on here.... very guarded, learnt the hard way

outside of here, far less

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im a good judge of character and i go by that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh always bussy, its the best bit "

As long as it's not the dodgy knee that's on offer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh always bussy, its the best bit

As long as it's not the dodgy knee that's on offer "

I only offer that if they need summat to rub

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never found anyone here that wasn't 100% honest with me.

They could have my bank details if they wanted

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never found anyone here that wasn't 100% honest with me.

They could have my bank details if they wanted "

Oh go on then, if i must

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive been hurt pretty bad in the past and although i might at times put on a front and make out that im confident and trusting im quite the opposite. Very insecure and have my guard well up.

Im not proud but have even 'honey trapped' someone to see if he was genuine and sincere about his thoughts and feelings for me. Soon as i done it i felt like total shit, but hand on heart needed that little bit of extra reassurance at the time else id still be questioning and wondering.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"if its in everyday life i trust whoever i meet and give people the benfit of the doubt until proven otherwise,but i can take an instant dislike to someone and iv never been wrong.i have been called too trusting for my own good and quite often that has proved true"

I'm a bit of a bugger on the instant dislike front Lacey.

I make my mind up about people very quickly.

Even with those I do like, the barriers tend to be up though and let very little slip in 'real life' until I feel secure that they can be trusted and don't have an agenda or ulterior motives.

I can see Views point too tho - it is very easy to be open on these forums and I too have been guilty of lowering my guard for all to see.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

After recent events.. No longer let anybody "in"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I've lowered my hipsters, but not my guard

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am on here, as i am in real life.

a "fruitbat" but a nice one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"After recent events.. No longer let anybody "in" "

Oooh! Why?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im fab friends with a fair number of forumites but only a couple i consider a true friend and knows the real me x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

i think on here you have to be a bit careful what you say but im so trusting of people i sometimes find it hard to be like that so i just dont post

funny thing is with my best friend when i first met her i was very wary of her and she has been the best thing thats ever happened to me,wev seen each other through some rough times and my loyalty knows no bounds to true friends

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been a VERY garded person all my life . Then 2 years a go I got blind sided and to this day I have no ider how he got under my skin . Any way he turned out to be a right player and now still comes in and out of my life when he wants and I still let him if I could get him out of my head I would and I will NEVER make this mistake again !!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I am fortunate in the real world I have two best friends with whom I share anything and everything...Other than that I let nobody in....They might think they are but there are ALWAYS barriers up....self protection...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take my time and if they lose interest, they were genuine hahaha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be folly to trust on sight. I have barriers which people may attain and pass to the next.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t shut people out…. I just give them a filthy-look

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

On here I'm cagey and usually right about people.

In real life, I have only taken against someone once on sight and am pleased to say I was wrong as the lady is now my best friend and I am Godmother to her beautiful daughter.

Otherwise I am right, if I look at someone and say they will shit on me, they usually do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Great thread, Bussy.

I am quite an open person and as such I allow people in quite easily even though I have found that some people later disappointed me and I had to let go of them.

Having said that I would not want to be a "prisoner" of that and therefore, I promised myself to continue to be open and take people at face value.

I do have a handful of friends with whom I would share virtually anything but then I have known them for many years.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Great thread, Bussy.

I am quite an open person and as such I allow people in quite easily even though I have found that some people later disappointed me and I had to let go of them.

Having said that I would not want to be a "prisoner" of that and therefore, I promised myself to continue to be open and take people at face value.

I do have a handful of friends with whom I would share virtually anything but then I have known them for many years. "

This is me too. I also wonder how much I let myself in. I know there are people offering me friendships that I hold back on. It's a two way process.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

No because i have been shit on more times than a public toilet...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

find it very hard to trust now -

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I let everyone in. It's always ends up making things more painful but I won't stop doing it as you never know which one could be "the one" I wouldn't want to go trough the rest of my life being scared to open up. Just do it and take the pain I say. Over all I think it names me a happier person in or out of a relationship x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me not letting people in isnt so much because i have been hurt or done the dirty on...its because i lost my partner years ago and i don't ever want to feel for someone like that again or go through that grief.

I think i spent so much time just me and the kids it has become a way of life and letting anyone into that would be a huge difference.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *vana sukalotWoman
over a year ago

In a land of make believe (Derby)

Normally I'm quite guarded, but I made a silly mistake and dropped my guard for a second. We live and learn I suppose.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a open book

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm usually pretty good at working people out - even a woman who has become a diagnosed psychopath. Not the Fred west type, and I've already read a post in this thread that sounds like the lady had got herself a psychopath bloke.

Thomas Sheridan is an authority and author, googling his stuff may ring a few bells

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I trust no-one. Always suspicious. Keep everyone guessing.

Don't ya just !

What colour is ur car this week ? "

What car? I can't drive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trust everyone, it's the devil inside them I don't trust.

I'm quite guarded I think and it takes alot to let people in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

[Removed by poster at 13/02/13 19:21:14]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aris23Woman
over a year ago

France

I'm pretty nervous about letting people into the inner me, however I'm quite open and honest about myself to anyone who asks.

Like many people here I have had my fingers burnt and my heart decimated by people unworthy of my affection so now it is a very special person indeed who gets under my defences.

It's a shame because I'm sure there are many genuine people out there who, given the opportunity, would make fantastic friends or more.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trust my instincts and gut feel. The times when I did not they did not end well.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How easy do you find it ?

Do you trust on sight or do you take a more calculated / cautious approach ?

Or perhaps more interestingly, are you usually calculated / cautious, but have had someone come along and completely disarm you ?

Am not talking swinging as such, just relationships in general."

i dont trust anyone except my family,not even friends!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I am sometimes too trusting attributing my own values of discretion etc to other people and that can lead to me being disappointed and let down.

As far as letting people in goes I give a good impression of it but there are very few people who have gained my absolute trust and are allowed to see my vulnerability, I can count them on the fingers of one hand.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I have been burnt in the past for being too trusting so it is now a case of DTA

"Dont trust anyone......"

Trust and Respect are very much two things that now have to be earned.....

right side of me and you would be hard pressed to find someone as loyal and always there if you need me....

but i am not someone you want to cross or try to make a fool of....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got my fingers burnt in the past too, and now I don't invite anyone home for anything, full stop.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

I do try and be as open as possible. Been burnt a few times but in my thinking if you can not be open with someone you not got much chance of building something worthwhile.

But I can understand why people are guarded.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont trust anyone. I can be pretty friendly and open but in reality usually keep the real me away at arms length until someone shows me they are a real mate.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This looked like a really simple question but the more I think about it the less sure I am lol!

I don't think I get overly attached to people so I think I'm pretty much open about myself cos I don't feel I have anything to lose by not being.

That makes me sound a bit crap lol! and I do wonder sometimes why I don't care as much as I probably should but there it is.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very guarded, you have to earn my trust. Also have a very finely honed bullshit detector, the challenge is listening to it when the heart wants otherwise! But have learnt from experience to pay close attention to it and its not usually wrong. Probably too guarded but better safe than sorry.

I dated a psychopath also, realised on second date and got the hell out.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top