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Is it better to have loved and lost ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Then never to have loved at all.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe so !

It's a rocky road to walk in bare feet though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

erm its a hard one to answer because if you have loved then you'll never know what it is like to have never loved..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it is, even through the times of doubt!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 13/02/13 09:35:29]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I have never truly been in love...

and I feel okay.

although, I do like seeing people who are so connected that you know that they are very happy together.

and I find it sad when I am out for a meal, mostly on my own and I see couples sitting and not a word is exchanged between them and they look so fucking bored with each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Than to spend your whole bloody life with her?"

Escapes me who said that but still makes me laugh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

YES. resoundingly so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Because it hurts too much to loose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. Because it hurts too much to loose"

But if you have never experienced the high of love you will never know the pain of losing it.

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

To never have truly loved is to never to have truly lived.

Thoughts of what you have lost are replaced in time by thoughts of who you have loved

I would gladly spend a lifetime in hurt for one moment of love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To never have truly loved is to never to have truly lived.

Thoughts of what you have lost are replaced in time by thoughts of who you have loved

I would gladly spend a lifetime in hurt for one moment of love. "

wow... that's it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/02/13 13:36:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I would gladly spend a lifetime in hurt for one moment of love. "

Not sure i'd go that far..lol!

But as i don't believe there's that one special person out there for any of us..but just fleeting moments of connections...some stonger than others, some last longer than others...mostly because us humans struggle with letting go..

Yes its painful when you start to grow apart...but realising how that person has helped you grow, into the person you have become...means the connection made and the love shared will always be there even when they no longer are!

Lol...sorry for the deep and meaningful...i'm a bit thoughtful at the moment..my relationship has just ran its course!

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By *uttyMan
over a year ago

Local to you maybe


"

I would gladly spend a lifetime in hurt for one moment of love.

Not sure i'd go that far..lol!

But as i don't believe there's that one special person out there for any of us..but just fleeting moments of connections...some stonger than others, some last longer than others...mostly because us humans struggle with letting go..

Yes its painful when you start to grow apart...but realising how that person has helped you grow, into the person you have become...means the connection made and the love shared will always be there even when they no longer are!

Lol...sorry for the deep and meaningful...i'm a bit thoughtful at the moment..my relationship has just ran its course! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what you have never had you dont miss do you?

Ive never been in love with anyone, despit being married, i didnt love him when i married him and i loved him less and less as they years went by

Cant say as i miss never having that special someone in my life because its always been just me so i have nothing to compair being on my own against, so i really cant answer the question, im not saying its better to have never loved what im saying is if you havnt you dont feel your missing as you cant miss what you have never had

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what you have never had you dont miss do you?

Ive never been in love with anyone, despit being married, i didnt love him when i married him and i loved him less and less as they years went by

Cant say as i miss never having that special someone in my life because its always been just me so i have nothing to compair being on my own against, so i really cant answer the question, im not saying its better to have never loved what im saying is if you havnt you dont feel your missing as you cant miss what you have never had"

How can you love someone less as the years go by if you never loved them to start with??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been there, done that, got the T shirt.

Not one to say never never, however I am happy being single until someone comes along and sweep me off my feet again.

If it is destined to happen, it will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. Because it hurts too much to loose

But if you have never experienced the high of love you will never know the pain of losing it. "

Yea and believe me you dont wanna experience it - (talking death here)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

christ yes - thought i loved the ex and i guess i did but true love i had and he passed away - but i would never have not had that time and emotion i felt - has made me recogise it now again - im lucky ive had it twice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what you have never had you dont miss do you?

Ive never been in love with anyone, despit being married, i didnt love him when i married him and i loved him less and less as they years went by

Cant say as i miss never having that special someone in my life because its always been just me so i have nothing to compair being on my own against, so i really cant answer the question, im not saying its better to have never loved what im saying is if you havnt you dont feel your missing as you cant miss what you have never had

How can you love someone less as the years go by if you never loved them to start with?? "

lol i did keep reading that back myself and thought it dont make sence but i wasnt sure how else to word it

Im sure you know what im getting at tho

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby


"Then never to have loved at all.? "

Good question, I'd sooner not have the metaphorical scars and the memories I have that prevent me from being in love again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. Because it hurts too much to loose

But if you have never experienced the high of love you will never know the pain of losing it.

Yea and believe me you dont wanna experience it - (talking death here) "

I have, ten years almost now and not a day goes by his son and I don't still miss him and love him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been very much in love before and when it ended after many years I felt like dying to be honest lol

I don't think I've EVER lowered the barriers enough to feel that way again or maybe I've matured enough and learnt from the experience, maybe you never CAN love like the first time. Either way I'm happy where I'm at with my lover, things could end but at the moment I'm happy enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't believe there's a choice in certain cases. We say it's better to have loved and lost in hindsight as a way of acceptance. However if you've never loved, it shouldn't go against you. Because there is always the future after all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes when you’re feeling good about other things, resounding no when things aren’t going your way … always hurts to some extent until you find something big enough to hide behind

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby

I kind of wish she had died because I could have grieved and probably eventually moved on. To know she is still around keeps the hope alive. Don't get me wrong I'm not some love sick abandoned puppy its just that its a wound that wont heal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I would gladly spend a lifetime in hurt for one moment of love.

Not sure i'd go that far..lol!

But as i don't believe there's that one special person out there for any of us..but just fleeting moments of connections...some stonger than others, some last longer than others...mostly because us humans struggle with letting go..

Yes its painful when you start to grow apart...but realising how that person has helped you grow, into the person you have become...means the connection made and the love shared will always be there even when they no longer are!

Lol...sorry for the deep and meaningful...i'm a bit thoughtful at the moment..my relationship has just ran its course! "

Sad as it is, I guess not everyone drifts apart,,,,,,

Sometimes fate plays it’s cruel hand.... and although it's true to say the love doesn't die when the physical bonds are broken, some survivors of true love are left unable, or not wanting to dilute that love by taking another or wishing they’d never had it at all…

I guess that’s how special true love can be,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what you have never had you dont miss do you?

Ive never been in love with anyone, despit being married, i didnt love him when i married him and i loved him less and less as they years went by

Cant say as i miss never having that special someone in my life because its always been just me so i have nothing to compair being on my own against, so i really cant answer the question, im not saying its better to have never loved what im saying is if you havnt you dont feel your missing as you cant miss what you have never had

How can you love someone less as the years go by if you never loved them to start with??

lol i did keep reading that back myself and thought it dont make sence but i wasnt sure how else to word it

Im sure you know what im getting at tho "

I really do know what you mean, but you did love him...so you have love, or there would not have been any pain when it ended!

My point was that you are now a stronger person for having loved him and even when the relationship dies...when the pain fades...you have gained!! And i would be greatful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Sometimes fate plays it’s cruel hand.... and although it's true to say the love doesn't die when the physical bonds are broken, some survivors of true love are left unable, or not wanting to dilute that love by taking another or wishing they’d never had it at all…

I guess that’s how special true love can be,,, "

That's exactly how I feel, my love for my partner was so strong so perfectly reciprocated and so special I don't think I'd ever be able to experience that again so don't wish to try.

Whereas my love for my previous husband faded over time till we parted, it ran its course and I feel no pain for that loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what you have never had you dont miss do you?

Ive never been in love with anyone, despit being married, i didnt love him when i married him and i loved him less and less as they years went by

Cant say as i miss never having that special someone in my life because its always been just me so i have nothing to compair being on my own against, so i really cant answer the question, im not saying its better to have never loved what im saying is if you havnt you dont feel your missing as you cant miss what you have never had

How can you love someone less as the years go by if you never loved them to start with??

lol i did keep reading that back myself and thought it dont make sence but i wasnt sure how else to word it

Im sure you know what im getting at tho

I really do know what you mean, but you did love him...so you have love, or there would not have been any pain when it ended!

My point was that you are now a stronger person for having loved him and even when the relationship dies...when the pain fades...you have gained!! And i would be greatful! "

It was a she!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

some survivors of true love are left unable, or not wanting to dilute that love by taking another or wishing they’d never had it at all…

I guess that’s how special true love can be,,, "

Then maybe that was'nt true love..whatever that is...

If you love someone unconditionaly...then their happiness means more to you than your own...if your partner feels unhappy in the relationship and you can't find a compromise...you'd let them go and wish them well..and you'd know through the pain that you still love them...but maybe they were just ready for the next step in their life sooner than you...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"To never have truly loved is to never to have truly lived.

. "

oh shit... no way.

fuck that's me off to a dating site to live a life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To never have truly loved is to never to have truly lived.

.

oh shit... no way.

fuck that's me off to a dating site to live a life"

..... don't do it, the lads will never forgive you ..... they don't like to share.

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley


"To never have truly loved is to never to have truly lived.

.

oh shit... no way.

fuck that's me off to a dating site to live a life"

My grandmother said never run after love, it will out pace you, never look for love it will hide from you. When love finds you, hold on to it has tight as you can. She and my grand father were married for seventy one years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To never have truly loved is to never to have truly lived.

.

oh shit... no way.

fuck that's me off to a dating site to live a life

My grandmother said never run after love, it will out pace you, never look for love it will hide from you. When love finds you, hold on to it has tight as you can. She and my grand father were married for seventy one years. "

Awwww that is so lovely.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"To never have truly loved is to never to have truly lived.

.

oh shit... no way.

fuck that's me off to a dating site to live a life

My grandmother said never run after love, it will out pace you, never look for love it will hide from you. When love finds you, hold on to it has tight as you can. She and my grand father were married for seventy one years. "

bless them x

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley


"To never have truly loved is to never to have truly lived.

.

oh shit... no way.

fuck that's me off to a dating site to live a life

My grandmother said never run after love, it will out pace you, never look for love it will hide from you. When love finds you, hold on to it has tight as you can. She and my grand father were married for seventy one years.

bless them x"

My grand father gave up everything to be with her and never once reminded her. They were two of the most in love people you could ever meet.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

My grand father gave up everything to be with her and never once reminded her. They were two of the most in love people you could ever meet. "

see that is where the plan fails me...

I would remind the person daily

When we went shopping, I would have to get something first

If I finish my meal first when eating out.... we leave

They don't touch my objet d'art....... ever

and they dress only in black or charcoal grey

it is a tough search that I face

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley


"

My grand father gave up everything to be with her and never once reminded her. They were two of the most in love people you could ever meet.

see that is where the plan fails me...

I would remind the person daily

When we went shopping, I would have to get something first

If I finish my meal first when eating out.... we leave

They don't touch my objet d'art....... ever

and they dress only in black or charcoal grey

it is a tough search that I face"

Bloody he _iew, do harmish do dating sites

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

My grand father gave up everything to be with her and never once reminded her. They were two of the most in love people you could ever meet.

see that is where the plan fails me...

I would remind the person daily

When we went shopping, I would have to get something first

If I finish my meal first when eating out.... we leave

They don't touch my objet d'art....... ever

and they dress only in black or charcoal grey

it is a tough search that I face

Bloody he _iew, do harmish do dating sites "

see, better on my own living and happy

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley


"

My grand father gave up everything to be with her and never once reminded her. They were two of the most in love people you could ever meet.

see that is where the plan fails me...

I would remind the person daily

When we went shopping, I would have to get something first

If I finish my meal first when eating out.... we leave

They don't touch my objet d'art....... ever

and they dress only in black or charcoal grey

it is a tough search that I face

Bloody he _iew, do harmish do dating sites

see, better on my own living and happy"

Sure there be some beautiful ones _iew

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope , different perceptions of love exist in each and every one of us , but definately not better to have loved and lost - can't miss what you never had

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull


"Then never to have loved at all.? "

At times I wish I had never loved and would never have experienced the pain I have had to endure...but the answer to that question depends on where someone is at in their life personally at the time of asking..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may have loved and i may have lost but i will not allow it to ever happen again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have loved and lost. And I wouldn't wish-away that experience. Yes, there was pain at the end, but the pleasure more than made up for the pain.

And yes, I would do it again. As humans, we can't go through life isolated. Humans need friends and family and lovers .... and we need to BE friends and family and lovers.... it's what distinguishes us from less-advanced life-forms.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Loving, losing and the entire range of emotions are all part and parcel of what makes us human - as such I d say they probably feature in everybody's life at some point.

The way we cope with loss, with disappointment, with rejection etc. depends a lot on our self esteem and previous experience and also very much on the support we have around us at times of crisis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Loving, losing and the entire range of emotions are all part and parcel of what makes us human - as such I d say they probably feature in everybody's life at some point.

The way we cope with loss, with disappointment, with rejection etc. depends a lot on our self esteem and previous experience and also very much on the support we have around us at times of crisis."

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley


"Loving, losing and the entire range of emotions are all part and parcel of what makes us human - as such I d say they probably feature in everybody's life at some point.

The way we cope with loss, with disappointment, with rejection etc. depends a lot on our self esteem and previous experience and also very much on the support we have around us at times of crisis."

That almost sounded clinical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nope , different perceptions of love exist in each and every one of us , but definately not better to have loved and lost - can't miss what you never had "

I don't get these replies..

These people that have NEVER loved...have you no parents, kids, pets, siblings???

Grow fkn up..everyone loves..not everyone feels loved that is different!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"Nope , different perceptions of love exist in each and every one of us , but definately not better to have loved and lost - can't miss what you never had

I don't get these replies..

These people that have NEVER loved...have you no parents, kids, pets, siblings???

Grow fkn up..everyone loves..not everyone feels loved that is different!

"

so very very sorry, I thought it meant love as in life partner, not my dogs.

just got that all wrong.

am all grown up now

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Loving, losing and the entire range of emotions are all part and parcel of what makes us human - as such I d say they probably feature in everybody's life at some point.

The way we cope with loss, with disappointment, with rejection etc. depends a lot on our self esteem and previous experience and also very much on the support we have around us at times of crisis.

That almost sounded clinical "

Call it life experience - and it was not meant to be clinical.. just thinking what it might be like for people and the way they experience this varies such a great deal from one person to another...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Then never to have loved at all.? "

Does the high outweigh the low ?

I'd say no, to have lost is to have been to the depths

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I'd rather not have loved at all... It's made me stone cold with zero trust now..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I don't get these replies..

These people that have NEVER loved...have you no parents, kids, pets, siblings???

Grow fkn up..everyone loves..not everyone feels loved that is different!

so very very sorry, I thought it meant love as in life partner, not my dogs.

just got that all wrong.

am all grown up now "

Lol...good on ye big man..i knew a smart guy like you would get there sooner or later!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Last week I'd have said no definately not because I was still hurting too much but thinking on it now actually yes I believe it is better to have loved but never lose the belief that you can love again. Yes it hurts to lose it but unless you have the bad how can you know how good the good can be. I believe people come into our lives for a reason and if they were meant to be the one you loved forever then they would stay forever!!

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley


"Loving, losing and the entire range of emotions are all part and parcel of what makes us human - as such I d say they probably feature in everybody's life at some point.

The way we cope with loss, with disappointment, with rejection etc. depends a lot on our self esteem and previous experience and also very much on the support we have around us at times of crisis.

That almost sounded clinical

Call it life experience - and it was not meant to be clinical.. just thinking what it might be like for people and the way they experience this varies such a great deal from one person to another..."

So would you say it comes from experience, from your close family and how they interact with others.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

I don't get these replies..

These people that have NEVER loved...have you no parents, kids, pets, siblings???

Grow fkn up..everyone loves..not everyone feels loved that is different!

so very very sorry, I thought it meant love as in life partner, not my dogs.

just got that all wrong.

am all grown up now

Lol...good on ye big man..i knew a smart guy like you would get there sooner or later!! "

but your guidance helped nonetheless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Then never to have loved at all.? "

YES...would rather my life was a roller-coaster with the highs and the lows than an easy ride...have no regrets

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Have loved a number of times and gone through heartbraking loss. Do not regret a moment, but in no rush to repeat it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I fell in love once...I say I 'think' I fell in love cos it seemed very intense at the time, I wanted to make him happy for the most part but ultimately couldn't so in the end it was horribly hurty - which I didn't enjoy, and after the fact I just think - what a waste of time that was

So yeah.. can't say I'm any better for having 'loved and lost' ...although I did get a nice pay off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is hard, bittersweet lol the overwhelming intoxication of love for a partner was amazing but during the loss changed my whole personality, the loss of any drive that was once there too, came back after a while but still feel regret at the relationship breakdown, i think id never want to lose the intense feelings i had but at the same time there a curse that will plauge the back of my mind untill i cark it lol but after long consideration i believe its better to love and lose, good life experiance

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