FabSwingers.com forum: What is the funniest fab status you have seen.

By *vmarisa OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

Mine is "Mums gone to yoga, can accommodate if you are quick"

Not me that posted this, just a status on a guys profile that made me laugh. Mx

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

"Have dick will travel."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *vmarisa OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

Ha ha I like that. Mx

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I just like watching the local train wrecks screaming about people they've never met being disloyal or how glad they are they never met so and so

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By *vmarisa OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

Oh yes, fab is full of 'interesting characters ' ha ha ha Mx

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

My own.

Am I on your hotlist?

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By *vmarisa OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

And very interesting hot lists too I bet . Mx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite liked the lady who said she had "...come to bed thighs".

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By *vmarisa OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

Sounds lovely, you can't go wrong with a nice pair of thighs Mx

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By *ames_HertsMan
over a year ago

I particularly enjoy a good rant about how fab is crap and they're leaving...

but they stay online all day and never leave

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

One just now.

Avoid "xyz" Met at his, Said he left condoms in his car and didn't come back. Obviously didn't have cash.

Wonder if they are helping themselves to his fridge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'So many messages, please bare with me'

popular innit

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By *ischief ManagedCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"One just now.

Avoid "xyz" Met at his, Said he left condoms in his car and didn't come back. Obviously didn't have cash.

Wonder if they are helping themselves to his fridge

We seen that as well

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"One just now.

Avoid "xyz" Met at his, Said he left condoms in his car and didn't come back. Obviously didn't have cash.

Wonder if they are helping themselves to his fridge

We seen that as well

It confuses me endless lol

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By *vmarisa OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

I don't understand the cash reference or am I being thick ? Mx

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By *ischief ManagedCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"One just now.

Avoid "xyz" Met at his, Said he left condoms in his car and didn't come back. Obviously didn't have cash.

Wonder if they are helping themselves to his fridge

We seen that as well

It confuses me endless lol"

Wonder if they stayed or left

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"I don't understand the cash reference or am I being thick ? Mx "

I don't understand how he left them at his and drove off

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"One just now.

Avoid "xyz" Met at his, Said he left condoms in his car and didn't come back. Obviously didn't have cash.

Wonder if they are helping themselves to his fridge

We seen that as well

It confuses me endless lol

Wonder if they stayed or left

He's off at boots trying to find latex free - they are sitting on his wall waving at curtain twitchers

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By *urchoicenowCouple
over a year ago

Ashford

Playing with wife's permission or m home alone always makes us chuckle

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

Ploughing the loneliest furrow.

Nineteen personal ads and counting.

Only one reply. It was my mother telling me not to forget the bread on my way home from B&Q. Man, 51.

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By *vmarisa OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

"Ploughing the loneliest furrow.

Nineteen personal ads and counting.

Only one reply. It was my mother telling me not to forget the bread on my way home from B&Q. Man, 51."

This made me spit my coffee ha ha .. Mx

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By *oco_marsWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

I like the angry local ones "Nobody talks on here" - they do love, trust me

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By *oco_marsWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

Or the ones asking women to unblock them

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

The 'you know who are statuses' fml

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asking someone to message them as they can't get round that person's filters

Hun, you're filtered for a reason, they ain't gonna message

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

There's a woman in my area who does nothing butvl rant and bitch and moan in her status and a blank profile.

I imagine her to be like those homeless people depicted in films shouting at pigeons and passersby.

It's exhausting reading that much negativity, let alone having it venting from every orifice

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Her latest is about some "cunt" who has sent her 3 friend requests in an hour. Ends with "Too far away so won't accept ffs".

The amazing world of Fab.

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"Out of messages..." Their inbox is that busy?

"The sun has got me horny" Is everyones libido solar powered?

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Unicycling clown who likes juggling with beehives while being gang banged - no weirdos!!

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

Caring M, likes opera, books, romantic nights in, cooking, theatre, walking in the countryside, museums & gallery's, art & literature.

Old fashioned gent.

Show me your tits.

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By *vmarisa OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

"Caring M, likes opera, books, romantic nights in, cooking, theatre, walking in the countryside, museums & gallery's, art & literature.

Old fashioned gent.

Show me your tits."

Ha ha ha Mx

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Sorry, accidentally deleted my entire inbox"

LvM

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

[Removed by poster at 07/09/23 18:08:18]

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

"'So many messages, please bare with me'

popular innit"

I use that one every now and then, pretty sure no one's buying it

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By *ooleyMan
over a year ago

preston

One from my local area that made me chuckle this morning:

"Month off what the hell am I going to do, gonna go store crazy."

An eggcorn, but made me smile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today I can offer ‘ Respectable, well spoken, preferably married woman wanted. To meet in sunshine lunchtime and blow me, in work clothes.’

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By *vmarisa OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

Well spoken? I guess he wanted an eloquent blow job ha ha Mx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone have a JCB digger to rent or maybe sell in the Essex area???"

and

"Anyone know if specific make of septic tank needs an "x" inch or "y" inch valve??? Scared of getting flooded again!"

Both made me smile!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

You promised me the world, the world turned out to be 5 inches

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

I have one now 'why do people with morals and an attitude join a sex site ?'

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By *KentMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

“Y dose nobuddy evur tawk"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The sun has made me horny

Hip, hip, hip, hooray

The sun has made me horny

And I want to have a play

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"The sun has made me horny

Hip, hip, hip, hooray

The sun has made me horny

And I want to have a play"

That was just yours earlier wasn't it

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’ve taken some inspiration from this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones who regularly post about how they've moved on from someone(s) they've got a beef with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The statuses asking for help with DIY and lifts places are refreshingly innocent too.

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By *UFSWoman
over a year ago

belfast

"I don't understand the cash reference or am I being thick ? Mx

I don't understand how he left them at his and drove off"

Possibly not his place,was left the key to do maintenance work

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

There’s a couple near here and their status is always comedy gold.

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By *vmarisa OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Motherwell

Keep posting the funny ones. Mx

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"I don't understand the cash reference or am I being thick ? Mx

I don't understand how he left them at his and drove off

Possibly not his place,was left the key to do maintenance work

His status reads 'avoid xyz, gave them my house and they still aren't happy'.

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By *lofeldMan
over a year ago

Redhill

I saw one that said 'Why do so many people look and not message'

I didn't have the heart to explain it to them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine are always tongue in cheek, and I “try” to be funny!! Some of my favourites have been…

If you’re kinky and you know clap your…oh wait, they’re tied? Never mind…

I bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t, it just shits on the floor.

Was waving to a man who I thought was waving at me. He wasn’t, so kept on waving, taxi pulled up and took me to the airport. Now in Poland starting a new life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine are always tongue in cheek, and I “try” to be funny!! Some of my favourites have been…

If you’re kinky and you know clap your…oh wait, they’re tied? Never mind…

I bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t, it just shits on the floor.

Was waving to a man who I thought was waving at me. He wasn’t, so kept on waving, taxi pulled up and took me to the airport. Now in Poland starting a new life.

Xx"

Quite like your current one:

"My ex tried to humiliate me by telling all his friends I was bad in bed. Imagine his surprise when they all disagreed

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By *eatle1987Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Just seen this beauty pop up in my feed. Hilarious and yet so true.

"Fair play to anyone shagging in this heat.I bet it smells like scampi fries then youll end up stuck together like 2 moist slices of billy bear slices"

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By *odevilWoman
over a year ago

exeter

I LIKE THE ONES THAT ARE ALL IN SHOUTY CAPITALS

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By *UFSWoman
over a year ago

belfast

"I don't understand the cash reference or am I being thick ? Mx

I don't understand how he left them at his and drove off

Possibly not his place,was left the key to do maintenance work

His status reads 'avoid xyz, gave them my house and they still aren't happy'.

It's fab,people tell lies

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

'I am back' when nobody has a clue who they are

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn’t, it just shits on the floor.

Xx"

Fucking love thats

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Urgen our son ill need hubby has anyone seen him a140 layby 10 miles from Ipswich white jag about 6.30 ish not sure if he still there let me no

This beauty just popped up in my area...

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell

"I particularly enjoy a good rant about how fab is crap and they're leaving...

but they stay online all day and never leave

They should get a two week ban

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Just seen this beauty pop up in my feed. Hilarious and yet so true.

"Fair play to anyone shagging in this heat.I bet it smells like scampi fries then youll end up stuck together like 2 moist slices of billy bear slices""

Brilliant

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By *uckyNineMan
over a year ago

prescot

"I particularly enjoy a good rant about how fab is crap and they're leaving...

but they stay online all day and never leave

Lol this definitely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unicycling clown who likes juggling with beehives while being gang banged - no weirdos!!

This made us laugh but also intrigued but decided we can’t juggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I particularly enjoy a good rant about how fab is crap and they're leaving...

but they stay online all day and never leave

This is one of my favourites

So entertaining along with the other mentioned here

Naming people so they message them - filtered for a reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saw someone asking for a spare iPhone cable, you have to admire that sort of ingenuity really.

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By *ntoawinnerMan
over a year ago

bristol

Love this ????????

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By *ottodot123Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham

"The statuses asking for help with DIY and lifts places are refreshingly innocent too."

Oh that's sweet. You can tell the difference where we live as I often see

Looking for packet, , snow (delete we appropriate)

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By *ottodot123Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham

"Just seen this beauty pop up in my feed. Hilarious and yet so true.

"Fair play to anyone shagging in this heat.I bet it smells like scampi fries then youll end up stuck together like 2 moist slices of billy bear slices""

Lololol this is gold

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By *ottodot123Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham

Watching the inbetweeners while waiting for a wanting cunt - 6 hrs

Wonder if he's still waiting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Watching the inbetweeners while waiting for a wanting cunt - 6 hrs

Wonder if he's still waiting "

All those references in the show to "clunge" can't be helping either.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Mine is "Mums gone to yoga, can accommodate if you are quick"

Not me that posted this, just a status on a guys profile that made me laugh. Mx"

Love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Going to the supermarket, I can give you 30 minutes in a secluded corner and tell the wife the shop was busier than usual".

Any takers?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Still my all time favourite from local updates…

From Dave* Out pricing jobs in morning, anyone needs a quote for a new fence give me a message, I do a Fab discount ha

* not his real name

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Here's one guaranteed to get so e dubious characters replying

"CHEATING HUSBANDS I want pics of your wives while I toy myself xx"

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

"Still my all time favourite from local updates…

From Dave* Out pricing jobs in morning, anyone needs a quote for a new fence give me a message, I do a Fab discount ha

* not his real name

Just stole this, and changed "wife" to "mum" for extra effect

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By *icknmix500Man
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

Next door neighbors have only gone and brought a fucking cockerel !

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

“Need some help, wanted to take a picture of just my tip pushing inside your pussy for my profile, who would be available?”

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"“Need some help, wanted to take a picture of just my tip pushing inside your pussy for my profile, who would be available?” "

Wait for the dozens of pics he puts up, as a result

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"Where's the snow?" in June. Surely it's not going to snow in Britain in June?

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By *ottodot123Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham

""Where's the snow?" in June. Surely it's not going to snow in Britain in June?

Oh that's okay. Lots of snow in my area apparently.

I've not seen any from my house though

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

Lol

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