FabSwingers.com forum: The Oracle is holding court

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Jennie the omniscient knows all and is ensconced in her summer house of wisdom.

Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing (and excessively sweaty) will provide your answer.

(She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!)

Ask, and ye shall know.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Why did they go?

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Will you give me the first dance on Saturday before we video my moonwalk?

....is the quandary.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why did they go? "

Because parting is such sweet sorrow.

If they went it would be trouble, if they stayed it would be double

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Will you give me the first dance on Saturday before we video my moonwalk?

....is the quandary."

Of course, and passive aggressively grind my erection into you as we do so

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Dear Jennie,

Where dids’t thou procure thy toilet mat from?

Does it come in purple?

I like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should I meet a hot chick?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear Jennie,

Where dids’t thou procure thy toilet mat from?

Does it come in purple?

I like it

Twas Emprio d'Amazonne

A veritable rainbow of colours were arrayed before me at the time of purchase

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Evening Jennie

I need new bikinis. Surely a sophisticated woman like yourself can recommend where to find some good ones?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Should I meet a hot chick?

Or a socially awkward bloke

Whoever, you absolutely should

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Dear Jennie.

How do I apply lip products as well as you?

And because I'm feeling greedy, will grey polkadot or navy work best as a tablecloth/dress?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Oh Jennie.

When will I get what I so desperately need right now?

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Oh omniscient one my partner says his balls haven't dropped yet! Can you tell me when they will??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Evening Jennie

I need new bikinis. Surely a sophisticated woman like yourself can recommend where to find some good ones?"

Channel, Gucci, Armani, Versace.

Bikinis'R'us.

Primark.

Not necessarily in that order

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Does the Oracle ever require mindbleach as a result of being all-knowing?

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I can’t seem to turn on my PC. What do you suggest?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear Jennie.

How do I apply lip products as well as you?

And because I'm feeling greedy, will grey polkadot or navy work best as a tablecloth/dress?"

Navy is an all time classic for all seasons.

as for lips.... a roller

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should I have a wank

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

And my TV is making funny noises now…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can’t seem to turn on my PC. What do you suggest?"

Put it in some rice

*Bella pretending to be our Jen*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh Jennie.

When will I get what I so desperately need right now?

In 77 hours time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can’t seem to turn on my PC. What do you suggest?"

Have you plugged it in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Evening Jennie

I need new bikinis. Surely a sophisticated woman like yourself can recommend where to find some good ones?

Channel, Gucci, Armani, Versace.

Bikinis'R'us.

Primark.

Not necessarily in that order "

I'll nip down to BikinisRus first thing (heart)

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Oh Jennie.

When will I get what I so desperately need right now?

In 77 hours time"

But I'll just be a drooling incoherent mess by that time without

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Linguine or risotto? Squid or swuid?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Jennie the omniscient

What is the next letter in this series:

A Z E B I Y O

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh omniscient one my partner says his balls haven't dropped yet! Can you tell me when they will??"

Sorry to say, if they haven't descended by now, they never will.

It'll be like a permenant tuck.

You could try sucking them out though?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can’t seem to turn on my PC. What do you suggest?"

Report a burglary.

When he comes to take your statement, meet him at the door in your grade A undies

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh Jennie.

When will I get what I so desperately need right now?

In 77 hours time

But I'll just be a drooling incoherent mess by that time without

Tough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can’t seem to turn on my PC. What do you suggest?

Report a burglary.

When he comes to take your statement, meet him at the door in your grade A undies"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dearest Jennie,

Will I get laid before Christmas

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Dear Jennie, where is my Fitbit?

I can’t seem to find it anywhere.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does the Oracle ever require mindbleach as a result of being all-knowing?

It is a burden us supernaturals have to bear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dearest Jennie,

Will I get laid before Christmas

Depends where you stop on your way to Glasgow

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I can’t seem to turn on my PC. What do you suggest?

Report a burglary.

When he comes to take your statement, meet him at the door in your grade A undies"

That’s a very useful suggestion

Will he take down my particulars do you think?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And my TV is making funny noises now…"

Ball gag.

That'll shut her up!

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"And my TV is making funny noises now…

Ball gag.

That'll shut her up! "

Oh Jennie.

What would I do without you.

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

What is gravity and which universe might cause it to be weaker than it should be?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear Jennie the omniscient

What is the next letter in this series:

A Z E B I Y O

A worthy challenge.

There are actually two patterns combined here. We have the vowels in alphabetical order alternating with consonants.

The consonants at first glance appear random. However, they are working their way in alernating order from the start and end of the alphabet, inwards.

Tbe next two letters will be C U

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Should I have a wank "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Linguine or risotto? Squid or swuid? "

Risotto.

Squid

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dearest Jennie,

Will I get laid before Christmas

Of course.

More than once

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear Jennie, where is my Fitbit?

I can’t seem to find it anywhere."

Argos

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

How big do polkadots have to be to be classed as polkadots rather than just 'dots'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And my TV is making funny noises now…

Ball gag.

That'll shut her up!

Oh Jennie.

What would I do without you.

Descend into a pit of despair and confusion. Eventually becoming a dessicated crone smelling of piss and digestive biscuits

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can’t seem to turn on my PC. What do you suggest?

Report a burglary.

When he comes to take your statement, meet him at the door in your grade A undies

That’s a very useful suggestion

Will he take down my particulars do you think?"

Undoubtedly, but only after cautioning you

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Oh Jennie.

When will I get what I so desperately need right now?

In 77 hours time

But I'll just be a drooling incoherent mess by that time without

Tough "

Bitch

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Oh dearest Jennie; maiden of most iridescent splendours and who probably smells quite nice too.

Every time I shave my bum I get little red bumps and they really bother me

What should I do?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Dearest Jennie

When it comes to underboob sweat is it better just to talc up Bert and Ernie in the hot weather or should I resort to going for the sweaty mess look?

Thanks in advance

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

Dear Jennie, my dog wants to go out for a walk but I'm too tired and hot to take him, how do I tell him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Jennie the omniscient

What is the next letter in this series:

A Z E B I Y O

A worthy challenge.

There are actually two patterns combined here. We have the vowels in alphabetical order alternating with consonants.

The consonants at first glance appear random. However, they are working their way in alernating order from the start and end of the alphabet, inwards.

Tbe next two letters will be C U"

Genius. And I see that the Oracle also managed to change my status to reflect this.

I am not worthy!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How big do polkadots have to be to be classed as polkadots rather than just 'dots'

According to the 'Scale of Discoid Objects' developed by Professor Helmut Polka, it is down to the ratio of the diameter if the dot when compared to the overall surface area of the item dotted. A ratio of less than 1:200 qualifies as a true polka. But variances up to 1:150 could in certain circumstances be classified as semi or quasi polkas.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh Jennie.

When will I get what I so desperately need right now?

In 77 hours time

But I'll just be a drooling incoherent mess by that time without

Tough

Bitch

Bite me

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

When will I, will I, be famous?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh dearest Jennie; maiden of most iridescent splendours and who probably smells quite nice too.

Every time I shave my bum I get little red bumps and they really bother me

What should I do?

See your doctor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dearest Jennie of the most spectacularly all knowing.

I need to lay a massive cable, but I know it’s gonna hurt on the way out. Like…….it’ll be a danger to shipping when it gets to the sea, sized problem. Does the most glamorous of fab deity’s know how to ease its passing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Jennie

Will I ever have sex again?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"How big do polkadots have to be to be classed as polkadots rather than just 'dots'

Bugger.

Just dots then. Was the best I could do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jennie the omniscient, oh wise one, tell me please, for I really need to know.

Can I have both or will it forever be one and not the other?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How big do polkadots have to be to be classed as polkadots rather than just 'dots'

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"Oh dearest Jennie; maiden of most iridescent splendours and who probably smells quite nice too.

Every time I shave my bum I get little red bumps and they really bother me

What should I do?

See your doctor"

With another bum related woe?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Is the oracle just phoning it in?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Oh Jennie.

When will I get what I so desperately need right now?

In 77 hours time

But I'll just be a drooling incoherent mess by that time without

Tough

Bitch

Bite me"

If you insist.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dearest Jennie of the most spectacularly all knowing.

Sadly you will have to grit your teeth and bear it. Afyer the initial sting itsxactualky quite enjoyable.

If it is, however, as big as you are anticipating, I shall telephone Loch Ness because I think I've worked out where their monster has been hiding

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Oh dearest Jennie; maiden of most iridescent splendours and who probably smells quite nice too.

Every time I shave my bum I get little red bumps and they really bother me

What should I do?

See your doctor

With another bum related woe?

Best time to do it is when the skin is warm because the hair is softer.

Shave with the grain not against.

Gently exfoliate the skin after and apply a post shave balm.

Might help,might not

Em x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear Jennie

Will I ever have sex again?"

With other people?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Jenny.

Will I ever get 3 women in a room with me that are Tuesday born?

*last resort.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jennie the omniscient, oh wise one, tell me please, for I really need to know.

Can I have both or will it forever be one and not the other? "

You can have both superficially, but not fully. choose one and commit heart and soul, with all your being.

And then have the other one on the side when the first one is not looking

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh dearest Jennie; maiden of most iridescent splendours and who probably smells quite nice too.

Every time I shave my bum I get little red bumps and they really bother me

What should I do?

See your doctor

With another bum related woe?

She's used to it by now

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is the oracle just phoning it in? "

Potentially

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Dear Jenny.

Will I ever get 3 women in a room with me that are Tuesday born?

*last resort.

Are you still looking for them Woody?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh dearest Jennie; maiden of most iridescent splendours and who probably smells quite nice too.

Every time I shave my bum I get little red bumps and they really bother me

What should I do?

See your doctor

With another bum related woe?

Best time to do it is when the skin is warm because the hair is softer.

Shave with the grain not against.

Gently exfoliate the skin after and apply a post shave balm.

Might help,might not

Em x"

In her case, blowtorch would be better!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear Jenny.

Will I ever get 3 women in a room with me that are Tuesday born?

*last resort.

Yes.

On Saturday

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Jennie!

Somebody is being very mean and rude to me, what should I so?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Jennie

Will I ever have sex again?

With other people? "

Yes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jennie!

Somebody is being very mean and rude to me, what should I so? "

Take a baseball bat to their shins.

Only way!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear Jennie

Will I ever have sex again?

With other people?

Yes

Eventually

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I opened a jar of coconut oil today expecting it to be semi solid at least. It was liquid, spilled all over my leg, shorts and the sofa

. Luckily it landed on the throw which I snatched up and threw in the garden. What about my shorts? Will it ever come out, they're drenched

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By *olace50Man
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

Hi Jennie got myself in a bit of pickle I need some help relating to the bamboo in my garden it sheds lots of leaves which makes my patio rather messy is there any treatment I can give it or was it just the wrong plant to put in my Japanese themed area

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Jennie!

Somebody is being very mean and rude to me, what should I so?

Take a baseball bat to their shins.

Only way! "

Even though they are pretty sexy?

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By *riental_brit_studMan
over a year ago

London

Which is ruder? Spotted dick or custard tart?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I opened a jar of coconut oil today expecting it to be semi solid at least. It was liquid, spilled all over my leg, shorts and the sofa

. Luckily it landed on the throw which I snatched up and threw in the garden. What about my shorts? Will it ever come out, they're drenched

Absorb what you can with a tea towel or similar, then if the fabric of the shorts will cope, put them on a boil wash.

If the stain doesnt go after that, its new shorts I am afraid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Which is ruder? Spotted dick or custard tart?"

Hairy Pie

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jennie!

Somebody is being very mean and rude to me, what should I so?

Take a baseball bat to their shins.

Only way!

Even though they are pretty sexy? "

They wont be after the baseball bat!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I opened a jar of coconut oil today expecting it to be semi solid at least. It was liquid, spilled all over my leg, shorts and the sofa

. Luckily it landed on the throw which I snatched up and threw in the garden. What about my shorts? Will it ever come out, they're drenched

Absorb what you can with a tea towel or similar, then if the fabric of the shorts will cope, put them on a boil wash.

If the stain doesnt go after that, its new shorts I am afraid. "

Coconut oil is in the fridge now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is the answer to the universe really 42 ??

Pb ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi Jennie got myself in a bit of pickle I need some help relating to the bamboo in my garden it sheds lots of leaves which makes my patio rather messy is there any treatment I can give it or was it just the wrong plant to put in my Japanese themed area "

Of you want to get rid of it, cut down, but leave stumps, wrap duck tape around those stumps to create a funnel, fill those with salt. When it rains the salt will be drawn into the bamboo and I found this completely got rid of the bamboo which was getting under the patio and the neighbours house.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I opened a jar of coconut oil today expecting it to be semi solid at least. It was liquid, spilled all over my leg, shorts and the sofa

. Luckily it landed on the throw which I snatched up and threw in the garden. What about my shorts? Will it ever come out, they're drenched

Absorb what you can with a tea towel or similar, then if the fabric of the shorts will cope, put them on a boil wash.

If the stain doesnt go after that, its new shorts I am afraid.

Coconut oil is in the fridge now

good move

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is the answer to the universe really 42 ??

Pb ?? "

yes.

Approximately

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The Patio?

Yes treat with a sweeping broom twice a day.

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Jennie where did you get your fabulous lipstick? Such a fabulous shade

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Dearest Oracle…

I think you missed me

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I opened a jar of coconut oil today expecting it to be semi solid at least. It was liquid, spilled all over my leg, shorts and the sofa

. Luckily it landed on the throw which I snatched up and threw in the garden. What about my shorts? Will it ever come out, they're drenched

Absorb what you can with a tea towel or similar, then if the fabric of the shorts will cope, put them on a boil wash.

If the stain doesnt go after that, its new shorts I am afraid.

Coconut oil is in the fridge now

If you put the shorts in the freezer you may be able to remove the frozen oil with a toffee hammer.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Custom made by the legendary colour blenders of Thracia, using ingredients brought from all 4 corners of the world by the ancient muses.

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

Are there any conversation topics that make you feel uncomfortable?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dearest Oracle…

I think you missed me

My darling, I miss you whenever you are not here.

in answer to your question...

Talc. Lots of Talc, you sweaty stinker.

Peas. love.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear Jennie, my dog wants to go out for a walk but I'm too tired and hot to take him, how do I tell him?"

ruff ruffruff

whine

yawn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Jenny.

Will I ever get 3 women in a room with me that are Tuesday born?

*last resort.

Yes.

On Saturday"

*Woody needs to iron a shirt.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are there any conversation topics that make you feel uncomfortable?"

Actually, yes.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Dearest Oracle…

I think you missed me

My darling, I miss you whenever you are not here.

in answer to your question...

Talc. Lots of Talc, you sweaty stinker.

Peas. love.

Oh you make me melt

And thanks. I will try not to be a stinky-winky at the weekend… can’t promise though

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I opened a jar of coconut oil today expecting it to be semi solid at least. It was liquid, spilled all over my leg, shorts and the sofa

. Luckily it landed on the throw which I snatched up and threw in the garden. What about my shorts? Will it ever come out, they're drenched

Absorb what you can with a tea towel or similar, then if the fabric of the shorts will cope, put them on a boil wash.

If the stain doesnt go after that, its new shorts I am afraid.

Coconut oil is in the fridge now

If you put the shorts in the freezer you may be able to remove the frozen oil with a toffee hammer.

I haven't seen a toffee hammer for years.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are there any conversation topics that make you feel uncomfortable?

Actually, yes. "

But I am uncomfortable saying which

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Dearest Jennie,

A little sombre but it will be 9yrs in 6 days since I lost the best dad in the world.

Will it ever not hurt?

Thanks

MrsAbz

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Reports today say the moon’s orbit is moving further away from Earth making days longer. Taking into account the evidence of global warming and the predictions of Nostradamus, is MissYB gonna sleep with me any time soon?, and if yes can we use your passion wagon?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"Are there any conversation topics that make you feel uncomfortable?

Actually, yes.

But I am uncomfortable saying which

that shade of lipstick btw

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dearest Jennie,

A little sombre but it will be 9yrs in 6 days since I lost the best dad in the world.

Will it ever not hurt?

Thanks

MrsAbz "

It will always hurt, but thats because of the great love you had for each other. The sense of loss is testament to the strength of that love. It does and will ci tinue to become easier to cope with. You have discovered this already x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Reports today say the moon’s orbit is moving further away from Earth making days longer. Taking into account the evidence of global warming and the predictions of Nostradamus, is MissYB gonna sleep with me any time soon?, and if yes can we use your passion wagon?

I'd wait until she's had a proper wash if I was you!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dearest Jennie,

Will I get laid before Christmas

Of course.

More than once"

I hope so

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are there any conversation topics that make you feel uncomfortable?

Actually, yes.

But I am uncomfortable saying which

that shade of lipstick btw "

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dearest Jennie,

Will I get laid before Christmas

Of course.

More than once

I hope so

Gimme a shout if no luck by Dec 15th

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

If someone asked you to decorate a hall for a New York themed birthday party, what would you do?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Will that woman fuck me?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If someone asked you to decorate a hall for a New York themed birthday party, what would you do?

1920 prohibition era speakeasy

NYC subway with graffiti styke decorations

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Jennie, why are some people in the gym really odd?!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Will that woman fuck me? "

Yes.

Up the arse with a massive strapon.

Dry

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Custom made by the legendary colour blenders of Thracia, using ingredients brought from all 4 corners of the world by the ancient muses. "

So not available in Boots then? Lol

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jennie, why are some people in the gym really odd?!

Because going to the gym is really odd

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Now that I've finished painting our bedroom, which room should I decorate next?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Custom made by the legendary colour blenders of Thracia, using ingredients brought from all 4 corners of the world by the ancient muses.

So not available in Boots then? Lol"

Check out the Rimmel rack

You'll find a good approximation

Demidemi will be able to help you

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Custom made by the legendary colour blenders of Thracia, using ingredients brought from all 4 corners of the world by the ancient muses.

So not available in Boots then? Lol

Check out the Rimmel rack

You'll find a good approximation

Demidemi will be able to help you"

Why thank you

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Now that I've finished painting our bedroom, which room should I decorate next? "

The dungeon.

In the words if the Rolling Stones:

"Paint it black"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Oh jennie, what is this sex thing you all keep going on about, I seem to have forgotten

Tinder

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh jennie, what is this sex thing you all keep going on about, I seem to have forgotten

Tinder "

Its a messy, squelchy process that happens after the social. but before the ghosting

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Jennie, why are some people in the gym really odd?!

Because going to the gym is really odd"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x "

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that! "

Fine!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired! "

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?"

Not so secretly it seems

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh omniscient one

My dog barks at my son and his mates when they go in to the room where he sleeps.

Unfortunately this is very annoying.

What can I do to stop this? Can I ban my son and his mates from the house, or would it be more appropriate to have them put down?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should I get an early night or let 1 YouTube video turn into 10?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?

Not so secretly it seems"

See, I told you

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?

Not so secretly it seems

See, I told you "

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh omniscient one

My dog barks at my son and his mates when they go in to the room where he sleeps.

Unfortunately this is very annoying.

What can I do to stop this? Can I ban my son and his mates from the house, or would it be more appropriate to have them put down?"

Sell them.

Then you and the dog can live in peace

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?

Not so secretly it seems

See, I told you

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt

Smash the fucker's game console.

Kai can lend you his blood stained baseball bat!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh omniscient one

My dog barks at my son and his mates when they go in to the room where he sleeps.

Unfortunately this is very annoying.

What can I do to stop this? Can I ban my son and his mates from the house, or would it be more appropriate to have them put down?

Sell them.

Then you and the dog can live in peace "

Ohhh, oooppps, do you teach CPR?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?

Not so secretly it seems

See, I told you

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt

Smash the fucker's game console.

Kai can lend you his blood stained baseball bat! "

He's only 18 months old

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?

Not so secretly it seems

See, I told you

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt

Smash the fucker's game console.

Kai can lend you his blood stained baseball bat!

He's only 18 months old

No I'm not!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh omniscient one

My dog barks at my son and his mates when they go in to the room where he sleeps.

Unfortunately this is very annoying.

What can I do to stop this? Can I ban my son and his mates from the house, or would it be more appropriate to have them put down?

Sell them.

Then you and the dog can live in peace

Ohhh, oooppps, do you teach CPR?"

Ah forget it.

CPR is only 6% effective anyway.

Say hi to the pooch from me x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?

Not so secretly it seems

See, I told you

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt

Smash the fucker's game console.

Kai can lend you his blood stained baseball bat!

He's only 18 months old

Never too young to kearn discipline

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?

Not so secretly it seems

See, I told you

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt

Smash the fucker's game console.

Kai can lend you his blood stained baseball bat!

He's only 18 months old

Never too young to kearn discipline"

Should I break his singing penguin then?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?

Not so secretly it seems

See, I told you

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt

Smash the fucker's game console.

Kai can lend you his blood stained baseball bat!

He's only 18 months old

Never too young to kearn discipline

Should I break his singing penguin then?"

not pengy wengy!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh omniscient one

My dog barks at my son and his mates when they go in to the room where he sleeps.

Unfortunately this is very annoying.

What can I do to stop this? Can I ban my son and his mates from the house, or would it be more appropriate to have them put down?

Sell them.

Then you and the dog can live in peace

Ohhh, oooppps, do you teach CPR?

Ah forget it.

CPR is only 6% effective anyway.

Say hi to the pooch from me x"

Pooch is content. Not barking anymore.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Jennie, should I let the hair on my toe grow in protest or should I continue to shave it off?

Em x

Shave.

No one deserves to hazve to see that!

Fine!

oooooooh

someone's over tired!

I'm grumpy because my kid kicked me in the eye socket today

Is he secretly out to get me?

Not so secretly it seems

See, I told you

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt

Smash the fucker's game console.

Kai can lend you his blood stained baseball bat!

He's only 18 months old

Never too young to kearn discipline

Should I break his singing penguin then?

not pengy wengy! "

*Snorts*

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Help me oh wise woman, you’re my only hope.

How do I attract the attention of the hottie I’m lusting over tonight without annoying the hottie I’m meeting at the weekend?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Should I get an early night or let 1 YouTube video turn into 10?"

How about 5 lol

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Help me oh wise woman, you’re my only hope.

How do I attract the attention of the hottie I’m lusting over tonight without annoying the hottie I’m meeting at the weekend?"

dont tell tonight hottie about weekend hottie and vice versa

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Should I get an early night or let 1 YouTube video turn into 10?

How about 5 lol"

This is good advice

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Help me oh wise woman, you’re my only hope.

How do I attract the attention of the hottie I’m lusting over tonight without annoying the hottie I’m meeting at the weekend?"

You might be lucky. Weekend hottie might be really cool and wish you luck.

And also what Jennie said. Mostly what Jennie said

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?"

I think it’s improbable.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?"

That assumes that everything IS possible in the first place

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

When will not in be in?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When will not in be in?"

Something something Cricket something

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

How am I?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How am I?"

You're good

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Honour the gods

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Should I get an early night or let 1 YouTube video turn into 10?

How about 5 lol

This is good advice"

Thank you Oracle

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Honour the carneia

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Dearest Jennie, how much time is too much time, scrolling through Forum pages?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Honour the carneia"

Sparta!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dearest Jennie, how much time is too much time, scrolling through Forum pages?"

Sweetheart, you are way past that!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?

That assumes that everything IS possible in the first place "

Isn't it?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Why is the sea wobbly?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?

That assumes that everything IS possible in the first place

Isn't it?"

No.

Its impossible for Jennie to keep goats cheese or rocket down. Ergo, not all things are possible

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Dearest Jennie, how much time is too much time, scrolling through Forum pages?

Sweetheart, you are way past that! "

I thought so

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?

That assumes that everything IS possible in the first place

Isn't it?

No.

Its impossible for Jennie to keep goats cheese or rocket down. Ergo, not all things are possible

Together or separately?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"Oh jennie, what is this sex thing you all keep going on about, I seem to have forgotten

Tinder

Its a messy, squelchy process that happens after the social. but before the ghosting "

Yep still not triggering anything

Tinder

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Miss Oracle, I humbly appear before thee, to seek your wisdom and knowledge on this highly pressing matter that has perplexed man for generations.

Does ketchup belong in the fridge or the cupboard?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?

That assumes that everything IS possible in the first place

Isn't it?

No.

Its impossible for Jennie to keep goats cheese or rocket down. Ergo, not all things are possible

Together or separately?"

either or

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Miss Oracle, I humbly appear before thee, to seek your wisdom and knowledge on this highly pressing matter that has perplexed man for generations.

Does ketchup belong in the fridge or the cupboard? "

Fridge once opened

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?

That assumes that everything IS possible in the first place

Isn't it?

No.

Its impossible for Jennie to keep goats cheese or rocket down. Ergo, not all things are possible

Together or separately?

either or"

Goats cheese does suck

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?

That assumes that everything IS possible in the first place

Isn't it?

No.

Its impossible for Jennie to keep goats cheese or rocket down. Ergo, not all things are possible

Together or separately?

either or

Goats cheese does suck

Jennie agrees

And Jennie knows all

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?

That assumes that everything IS possible in the first place

Isn't it?

No.

Its impossible for Jennie to keep goats cheese or rocket down. Ergo, not all things are possible

Together or separately?

either or"

I was just contemplating that if there are an infinite number of possibilities then everything becomes equally improbable and therefore anything is indeed possible.

However, I agree there's no possibility of keeping goats cheese down.

I think you've destroyed quantum mechanics. You are indeed the oracle, the goat the big cheese.

All hail Jennie... Supreme ruler of the multi-verse.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"Do you think if anything is possible, it’s still possible for anything to be impossible?

That assumes that everything IS possible in the first place

Isn't it?

No.

Its impossible for Jennie to keep goats cheese or rocket down. Ergo, not all things are possible

Together or separately?

either or

Goats cheese does suck

Jennie agrees

And Jennie knows all"

One more question

What's the meaning of fab life?

(closed, thread got too big)

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