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Think before you reactively message.

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By *aucasian Ghandi OP   Man
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

After seeing lots of threads recently, surrounding rejection, abuse and entitlement..

I wanted to share a lesson taught to me by a peer of mine...

He told me "just because I feel a certain way, I dont need to behave in a certain way" and not to "make an permanent decision on a temporary emotion".

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Wise words indeed

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I could have put my least reply 'there' in here. People can get drawn into things out of various different frustrations on here I think.

pt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a step back and breathe before you act

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By *aucasian Ghandi OP   Man
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Take a step back and breathe before you act "

Think before you act, play that tape forward, to what could potentially happen

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Those are wise words.

I’m afraid I’m the kind of lass that texts/messages first and thinks later.

But I learned that actions have consequences.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Reactive emotions are what make the forums such a fun place. I do enjoy a bit of reactive bingo and seeing how often I can guess who will be triggered by what.

#happyDays

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very good advice.

I am finally learning not to immediately react when feeling emotional. Take a step back and let myself calm down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am less reactive these days. Though some comments will get under my skin if they are personal.

And to be fair in the last few month it's been a lot more personal and nasty.

Yet in some cases I've still put the phone down and walked away and come back and either posted later or left it altogether. I just find I word things better once I've given myself time to process.

And in life if someone says something that I find hurtful or upsetting I've learned to replace the words 'fuck you' with 'I'm processing' instead. It buys me time. And then I go back and say fuck you in a hell of a lot more words, clearly and calmly and it's ten times more effective.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

It's something I've never really understood.

It's not like blurting something out when arguing with someone face to face.

typing a message takes forethought and you've always the moment of pause before you hit the send button.

Oftentimes I've typed up a response to something on one of more the incendiary threads that pop up... and more often than not I delete it before I post because ultimately it's just not worth the time or effort.

Move on, let it go... it really does not matter at all, especially here in Fab Forums.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I could have put my least reply 'there' in here. People can get drawn into things out of various different frustrations on here I think.

pt"

My 'last' reply I meant, ie my late post in the full thread couldn't been posted here instead.

I think we all do it at some point, but there is something actually about Fab that needs that extra little filter from people I think.

pt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The “Making a permanent decision “ saying is one that has saved me many times.

I’m a hothead and used to react without thinking of the consequences.

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By *essicagraceWoman
over a year ago

birmingham


"He told me "just because I feel a certain way, I dont need to behave in a certain way"

"

Oooooof yes what a lovely succinct way of putting it. Thanks angel x

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