FabSwingers.com forum: How do you go about

By *asty tatsy OP Man
over a year ago

london

Meets….. say just a social meet at first, if it’s someone you find really attractive and keen on and on the day of the meet are you active in talking before hand, do you get a little nervous or are you confident. What’s your prep before?

Are you the same when it’s someone you haven’t spoke to much or maybe not as attracted to them from pics but really enjoy the convo. Just curious to how others do it.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I'm the same if it's a sexual meet or a friendzone meet, confidently excited to spend some time with them

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By *asty tatsy OP Man
over a year ago

london

"I'm the same if it's a sexual meet or a friendzone meet, confidently excited to spend some time with them

Say it was a new connection, would you on the day be the first to converse to make sure or wait. Still curious

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm a little bit nervous but in a very good way. Like adrenaline. Butterflies I guess?

I don't talk too much, I'll normally reply and say I'm looking forward to seeing them as well else I'll get a lot of excited energy and will be flustered when I meet them.

Confidence wise? I'm rediscovering it. I like seeing that smile when I say hello and that boosts my confidence and makes me think "yes, this could work".

Prep wise? I try and make sure I'm the best version of current me. Take some time enjoying getting ready and knowing that they'll shortly be enjoying me. :D

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By *asty tatsy OP Man
over a year ago

london

"I'm a little bit nervous but in a very good way. Like adrenaline. Butterflies I guess?

I don't talk too much, I'll normally reply and say I'm looking forward to seeing them as well else I'll get a lot of excited energy and will be flustered when I meet them.

Confidence wise? I'm rediscovering it. I like seeing that smile when I say hello and that boosts my confidence and makes me think "yes, this could work".

Prep wise? I try and make sure I'm the best version of current me. Take some time enjoying getting ready and knowing that they'll shortly be enjoying me. :D"

I bet you give really good energy and vibes then, well played _eli

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go in exactly the same way as I would meeting a mate at the pub.

Chatty, happy vibes and friendly.

I get more paranoid driving/meeting somewhere new in case I get lost mid route and turn up late!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am always nervous. Regardless of it being just a social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a few butterflies, or the occasional flight thoughts. But once I’m there, they go, and I just lapse into being me.

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By *asty tatsy OP Man
over a year ago

london

"Go in exactly the same way as I would meeting a mate at the pub.

Chatty, happy vibes and friendly.

I get more paranoid driving/meeting somewhere new in case I get lost mid route and turn up late!

No one like to be late

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I just chat with people. If we’re planning to meet up it doesn’t really change that.

But yeah, the nerves kick in. They’re good nerves though. Those butterflies. Anticipation. The buzz.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I get nerves about the oddest things.

Mainly - At what point will I “pull a Misty” and do something unbelievably clumsy or daft. Mind you once that’s out of the way it’s all good.

I get horrifically nervous about getting lost, but I do that in normal life too. Because I have no sense of direction.

The actual meeting/conversation etc - I’m not so nervous about because I genuinely enjoy talking to people. I do get huge massive buzzy butterflies though. And I get super excited - like an overgrown puppy

And there goes my cool reputation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know I don't get either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to call it anticipatory excitment or nervousness. It’s nervousness from the anticipation of meeting. Not generalised nervousness or feeling uneasy about meeting them.

I go with the flow. No expectations. I chat and try to be funny straight away as I feel that makes everyone feel less nervous. I typically greet the person with cheek kisses. Find someplace comfortable to sit to chat. I stay focused and engaged in the conversation without any distractions. I’ll put my mobile away for example.

I know within the first two minutes if I fancy them or not in person. I don’t say this of course. I try to somehow subtly let the person know without blurting out ‘I fancy you!’. I find most are trying to do the same and usually my subtle gesture will guide them to feel they can express how they may fancy me or not. I’ve at times not said or shown my signs of fancying the person and I need the social meet without either of us saying so but enjoying conversation over a coffee, surprised the person by asking for a kiss, or ‘accidentally’ rubbed their leg to gauge a reaction.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

By the time I've travelled to them I'm so relieved to be off public transport I'll almost run into their arms.

I stop myself though, I don't want them thinking I'm weird.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I'm not one for nerves really tbh , I just be 100% me and at least that way if a second time happens I know its because the other person genuinely likes me

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Social or sexual in always nervous, I just treat it as any other date, I'm just my usual awkward self especially when it comes to the end of socials - do I go for the kiss? don't I? Are they into me? Are they not? I never have any idea.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/09/23 10:15:19]

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By *asty tatsy OP Man
over a year ago

london

"Social or sexual in always nervous, I just treat it as any other date, I'm just my usual awkward self especially when it comes to the end of socials - do I go for the kiss? don't I? Are they into me? Are they not? I never have any idea.

Mrs "

Do you wait and see their move first then before leaning in, nothing worse than leaning in for a kiss and getting the cheek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always get nervous!

I know the process and expect it now so I manage it better. I'll breathe at the peak of nerves and tell myself... 'it's stupid to be nervous, I've done this before and if they are disappointed in me or I don't fancy them I just go home and it's all fine.'

Usually just as I'm about to leave the house, and the last 5 mins if the car journey, I get the shakes and stomach nerves. And I'll continue to shake for a few mins in their presence. And then it goes and I settle down.

It makes no difference who or where, and levels of attraction isn't a thing. I either find them attractive or I don't.

I always think I'm going to show up and they'll be disappointed.

I worry about how I'm dressed as I've moaned at before for going to a social and not dressing sexy. It created an anxiety I don't need.

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By *asty tatsy OP Man
over a year ago

london

"Always get nervous!

It makes no difference who or where, and levels of attraction isn't a thing. I either find them attractive or I don't.

I always think I'm going to show up and they'll be disappointed.

I worry about how I'm dressed as I've moaned at before for going to a social and not dressing sexy. It created an anxiety I don't need."
I would say you have to go as you feel comfortable not what others say

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By *asty tatsy OP Man
over a year ago

london

I see a lot get butterflies and that excited nervous twitch, how do you shake it before you get there? Or is it always there

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Always get nervous!"

PW, all of that sounds really, really familiar. I’m the same. Only difference (I think) is that I know the nerves are a positive thing. They prove that I care. That I’m excited about the person/people I’m meeting.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I see a lot get butterflies and that excited nervous twitch, how do you shake it before you get there? Or is it always there"

It’s definitely always there for me. I’ve just learned to ride it. To go with it instead of fighting it.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I see a lot get butterflies and that excited nervous twitch, how do you shake it before you get there? Or is it always there

It’s definitely always there for me. I’ve just learned to ride it. To go with it instead of fighting it."

That's exactly it. Perfectly put. I like and embrace those feelings. If I don't get them that's when I know something isn't working for me. It's not quite there. I want to feel it and not shake those feelings.

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By *akequeen90Couple
over a year ago

Sydney

We're always nervous in a first meet. But the drinks take care of all those nerves

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By *asty tatsy OP Man
over a year ago

london

"I see a lot get butterflies and that excited nervous twitch, how do you shake it before you get there? Or is it always there

It’s definitely always there for me. I’ve just learned to ride it. To go with it instead of fighting it."

Is it that feeling that make you think this is going well

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Is it that feeling that make you think this is going well"

Yes.

If I’m meeting someone, it’s because I think they’re amazing. If I think they’re amazing, of course I’m nervous about meeting them for the first time.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"I like to call it anticipatory excitment or nervousness. It’s nervousness from the anticipation of meeting. Not generalised nervousness or feeling uneasy about meeting them.

You've basically described my approach and intuition for meeting people for a first time social. Though nervousness would generally be absent, with the anticipatory excitement prevailing.

Though to be fair, most people I met through fab I had already been chatting to for some time with fireworks virtually guaranteed when seeing them in person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always get nervous!

I am well aware that someone on paper can look awesome and sound awesome, but in front of me can be an instant no. So that makes me nervous. Rejecting them, telling them I don't see what I saw from their online presence is nerve racking in itself and the thought before you even leave that it might happen, though you ready how for the opposite is part of the nerves too.

So yes while the excitement is a factor I think it's mixed with nerves that can mean negatives too.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"So yes while the excitement is a factor I think it's mixed with nerves that can mean negatives too."

Again, I hear you. And I totally get that. I just consciously choose to focus on the positives. Otherwise I’d never get anything done.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Nerves are normal first time meeting someone but I've always found they go within a few minutes, especially if we kiss straight away.

You never know if attraction will definitely be there in person but luckily for me I've not met anyone yet where it wasn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always shit myself no matter who it is but talking beforehand makes things easier. The right people usually put you at ease pretty quickly so I don't worry about that side of it. Just the initial 'holy shit what if they think I'm a yeti' kinda anxiety.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"Always shit myself no matter who it is but talking beforehand makes things easier. The right people usually put you at ease pretty quickly so I don't worry about that side of it. Just the initial 'holy shit what if they think I'm a yeti' kinda anxiety. "

You are definitely not a yeti and we are just people, if you saw us in Chams or Xtasia we would be very easy going but if we decided to play we would move at whatever pace is most comfortable for you. We extend everyone the same courtesy, life is too short to be pushy.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Always a little bit nervous, I'm naturally an anxious person. But I know others feel that way too. I just treat it as coffee with a friend.

I usually stick to daytime, so there's no pressure to get "dressed up" as such (in relation to PWs comment) I mean, the guys rarely make as much effort.

Taking the dog with me for today's coffee, he's a good distraction!

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