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24hrs in A&E

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

And counting. Anyone who thinks the system isn't broken should spend some time observing. Cos it's well and truly broken.

My father has now been in an A&E departament for exactly 24hrs. The hospital has declared a crisis, such is the disconnect between the level of demand and the availability of care.

Over 24hrs without sleep hasn't done either of us any good

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

That’s terrible. Hope you’re ok Mrs, you’re going through it a bit lately . Sending love xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel, and this is my opinion only, that the crises within the NHS are fabricated and designed to ensure that when the NHS is announced to be privatised will face very little pushbacks

As is the housing crisis, financial crisis etc, all designed with bigger and alternate agendas

But saying this the NHS could simply be understaffed and underpaid but regardless I feel for you and your father

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

It's not that uncommon I know that dose not help and we all know the target is 4 hours but, there are generally overwhelmed stick with it and try and stay calm. Also if you can try and keep up to speed with what is going on there will allready have been a change of staff with another coming up and things do get over looked maybe ask again when the new team come on at 7ish where its all at.

Good luck and thoughts to you both.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

All I can think of is 24 Hours From Tulsa

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I feel, and this is my opinion only, that the crises within the NHS are fabricated and designed to ensure that when the NHS is announced to be privatised will face very little pushbacks

As is the housing crisis, financial crisis etc, all designed with bigger and alternate agendas

But saying this the NHS could simply be understaffed and underpaid but regardless I feel for you and your father "

It's not artificial on the ground where I've been. There are too many people coming into the A&E department. There are too few beds/trollies/chairs/corridors to put the people. There are too few doctors assessing people and interpreting the tests. There is insufficient social care, causing people to remain in hospital rather than leave. These things are definitely happening. Why are they happening? That's above my pay grade, but they are happening.

Every member of staff we have interacted with thus far have been fantastic. Many have been that word beginning with "i" that lots of people get themselves all het up about. In particular, the doc who saw my Dad at midnight last night - he was the only doc seeing patients from the waiting room; he was clearly stressed out of his mind, but he was kind, calm and made good decisions that were best for Dad. Not best for the hospital authorities because it means another bed needed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s awful … I hope you get seen shortly and he’s ok x

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"That’s awful … I hope you get seen shortly and he’s ok x

"

He's been "seen". There are no ward spaces for him (or others) and so he cannot leave the A&E dept.

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By *orace99Man
over a year ago

York


"I feel, and this is my opinion only, that the crises within the NHS are fabricated and designed to ensure that when the NHS is announced to be privatised will face very little pushbacks

As is the housing crisis, financial crisis etc, all designed with bigger and alternate agendas

But saying this the NHS could simply be understaffed and underpaid but regardless I feel for you and your father "

Fully agree.....

Gas, electric and railways were all costing the tax payer money and would be better off privatised.

Now just look at how much it is costing the taxpayer.

Not just in subsidiaries but also in increase costs.

LNER when brought back into public ownership was making a profit.

"Oh the EU say they cannot be publicly owned"

EDF is part french government owned.

The people have been betrayed and nobody even noticed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel, and this is my opinion only, that the crises within the NHS are fabricated and designed to ensure that when the NHS is announced to be privatised will face very little pushbacks

As is the housing crisis, financial crisis etc, all designed with bigger and alternate agendas

But saying this the NHS could simply be understaffed and underpaid but regardless I feel for you and your father

It's not artificial on the ground where I've been. There are too many people coming into the A&E department. There are too few beds/trollies/chairs/corridors to put the people. There are too few doctors assessing people and interpreting the tests. There is insufficient social care, causing people to remain in hospital rather than leave. These things are definitely happening. Why are they happening? That's above my pay grade, but they are happening.

Every member of staff we have interacted with thus far have been fantastic. Many have been that word beginning with "i" that lots of people get themselves all het up about. In particular, the doc who saw my Dad at midnight last night - he was the only doc seeing patients from the waiting room; he was clearly stressed out of his mind, but he was kind, calm and made good decisions that were best for Dad. Not best for the hospital authorities because it means another bed needed."

Lovely lady I don’t/can’t fathom what you have seen or been through and I know with my whole heart that the nhs and their staff are doing the best they can with the resources they have whilst always being polite and as helpful as possible and I do hope wholeheartedly you and your kin get looked after throughout

But I feel in the not too distant future privatisation will be approached

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

18 hrs was our longest wait with our son who ended up getting admitted with suspected sepsis.

Luckily it wasn't but if it was that 18hr wait could have been fatal.

I had a 13hr wait just before lockdown with a suspected heart attack.

Lot's of issues with GP expected these days taking up space with minor back issues as people over exaggerating their symptoms.

Hope your dad gets sorted soon it can't be helping his mental state?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel, and this is my opinion only, that the crises within the NHS are fabricated and designed to ensure that when the NHS is announced to be privatised will face very little pushbacks

As is the housing crisis, financial crisis etc, all designed with bigger and alternate agendas

But saying this the NHS could simply be understaffed and underpaid but regardless I feel for you and your father

Fully agree.....

Gas, electric and railways were all costing the tax payer money and would be better off privatised.

Now just look at how much it is costing the taxpayer.

Not just in subsidiaries but also in increase costs.

LNER when brought back into public ownership was making a profit.

"Oh the EU say they cannot be publicly owned"

EDF is part french government owned.

The people have been betrayed and nobody even noticed "

Exactly and there are many more examples of misdirection to con the British public/taxpayer and it takes a big step back to see it

And I definitely do not follow conspiracy stuff and don’t often watch the news but I have been aware of some stuff all by myself (big boy trousers)

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Have they mangaged to sort his breathing Mrs KC, fingers crossed he gets moved up soon and you both get some sleep x

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Have they mangaged to sort his breathing Mrs KC, fingers crossed he gets moved up soon and you both get some sleep x"

Despite broken ribs, his breathing is OK so long as he doesn't take deep breaths and so long as he doesn't get agitated and angry. Unfortunately the latter is happening too much. I've been shouted at a lot. He fell on top of me this morning because he tried to launch himself up.

I've had to come home because I couldn't continue

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"Have they mangaged to sort his breathing Mrs KC, fingers crossed he gets moved up soon and you both get some sleep x

Despite broken ribs, his breathing is OK so long as he doesn't take deep breaths and so long as he doesn't get agitated and angry. Unfortunately the latter is happening too much. I've been shouted at a lot. He fell on top of me this morning because he tried to launch himself up.

I've had to come home because I couldn't continue "

Oh fuck Are you able to get some sleep now

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I think unless you've spent countless hours in a and e you simply can't understand how awful it is for staff and patients.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have they mangaged to sort his breathing Mrs KC, fingers crossed he gets moved up soon and you both get some sleep x

Despite broken ribs, his breathing is OK so long as he doesn't take deep breaths and so long as he doesn't get agitated and angry. Unfortunately the latter is happening too much. I've been shouted at a lot. He fell on top of me this morning because he tried to launch himself up.

I've had to come home because I couldn't continue "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel, and this is my opinion only, that the crises within the NHS are fabricated and designed to ensure that when the NHS is announced to be privatised will face very little pushbacks

As is the housing crisis, financial crisis etc, all designed with bigger and alternate agendas

But saying this the NHS could simply be understaffed and underpaid but regardless I feel for you and your father

Fully agree.....

Gas, electric and railways were all costing the tax payer money and would be better off privatised.

Now just look at how much it is costing the taxpayer.

Not just in subsidiaries but also in increase costs.

LNER when brought back into public ownership was making a profit.

"Oh the EU say they cannot be publicly owned"

EDF is part french government owned.

The people have been betrayed and nobody even noticed

Exactly and there are many more examples of misdirection to con the British public/taxpayer and it takes a big step back to see it

And I definitely do not follow conspiracy stuff and don’t often watch the news but I have been aware of some stuff all by myself (big boy trousers) "

I don't think it needs a big step back to see it anymore.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Have they mangaged to sort his breathing Mrs KC, fingers crossed he gets moved up soon and you both get some sleep x

Despite broken ribs, his breathing is OK so long as he doesn't take deep breaths and so long as he doesn't get agitated and angry. Unfortunately the latter is happening too much. I've been shouted at a lot. He fell on top of me this morning because he tried to launch himself up.

I've had to come home because I couldn't continue

Oh fuck Are you able to get some sleep now "

I've had about 2hrs of on-off napping. There's a child here who's worried and missed me and my phone kept ringing (I turned it off ring for a bit in the end). Hopefully I'll sleep tonight

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"18 hrs was our longest wait with our son who ended up getting admitted with suspected sepsis.

Luckily it wasn't but if it was that 18hr wait could have been fatal.

I had a 13hr wait just before lockdown with a suspected heart attack.

Lot's of issues with GP expected these days taking up space with minor back issues as people over exaggerating their symptoms.

Hope your dad gets sorted soon it can't be helping his mental state?"

Defo not helping his state of mind, no. Sorry you've had a difficult experience in A&E too.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Been quite a frequent flyer of A&E over the years with various elderly relatives and my own busted up legs. I feel your pain and hope he gets sorted soon.

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

So sorry to hear this KC Sending virtual hugs and as always my inbox is always open for you. D x

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Sending love Mrs KC

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

I've just found out that there's a strike affecting the hospital trust, which is almost certainly not helping the situation. But what else can staff do when their legitimate concerns haven't been addressed? Their union's concerns haven't been addressed?

Solidarity with them. I can see what they do and they are some of the lowest paid in full NHS.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Puts my four hour round trip to visit someone in hospital into perspective.

Last time I was in a & e think got there about 7pm on a Thurs eve, on a drip on bed in a&e something Fri night (after not been able to eat or drink for 50 hrs), in a ward by sat and out by wed. Somewhat fortuitous visit as they discovered heart issues did not know about.

Sending hugs

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"I feel, and this is my opinion only, that the crises within the NHS are fabricated and designed to ensure that when the NHS is announced to be privatised will face very little pushbacks

As is the housing crisis, financial crisis etc, all designed with bigger and alternate agendas

But saying this the NHS could simply be understaffed and underpaid but regardless I feel for you and your father

It's not artificial on the ground where I've been. There are too many people coming into the A&E department. There are too few beds/trollies/chairs/corridors to put the people. There are too few doctors assessing people and interpreting the tests. There is insufficient social care, causing people to remain in hospital rather than leave. These things are definitely happening. Why are they happening? That's above my pay grade, but they are happening.

Every member of staff we have interacted with thus far have been fantastic. Many have been that word beginning with "i" that lots of people get themselves all het up about. In particular, the doc who saw my Dad at midnight last night - he was the only doc seeing patients from the waiting room; he was clearly stressed out of his mind, but he was kind, calm and made good decisions that were best for Dad. Not best for the hospital authorities because it means another bed needed."

Not ideal all thay time waiting in a&e but at least they didn't just patch him up and send him home, it sounds like you got someone who has listened and hopefully your dad gets the help he needs and you can rest a bit easier tonight x

Tinder x

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"Have they mangaged to sort his breathing Mrs KC, fingers crossed he gets moved up soon and you both get some sleep x

Despite broken ribs, his breathing is OK so long as he doesn't take deep breaths and so long as he doesn't get agitated and angry. Unfortunately the latter is happening too much. I've been shouted at a lot. He fell on top of me this morning because he tried to launch himself up.

I've had to come home because I couldn't continue

Oh fuck Are you able to get some sleep now

I've had about 2hrs of on-off napping. There's a child here who's worried and missed me and my phone kept ringing (I turned it off ring for a bit in the end). Hopefully I'll sleep tonight "

I hope so too

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

I'm sorry hun, it all sounds horrendous. I hope you're at least resting now

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I feel, and this is my opinion only, that the crises within the NHS are fabricated and designed to ensure that when the NHS is announced to be privatised will face very little pushbacks

As is the housing crisis, financial crisis etc, all designed with bigger and alternate agendas

But saying this the NHS could simply be understaffed and underpaid but regardless I feel for you and your father

It's not artificial on the ground where I've been. There are too many people coming into the A&E department. There are too few beds/trollies/chairs/corridors to put the people. There are too few doctors assessing people and interpreting the tests. There is insufficient social care, causing people to remain in hospital rather than leave. These things are definitely happening. Why are they happening? That's above my pay grade, but they are happening.

Every member of staff we have interacted with thus far have been fantastic. Many have been that word beginning with "i" that lots of people get themselves all het up about. In particular, the doc who saw my Dad at midnight last night - he was the only doc seeing patients from the waiting room; he was clearly stressed out of his mind, but he was kind, calm and made good decisions that were best for Dad. Not best for the hospital authorities because it means another bed needed.

Not ideal all thay time waiting in a&e but at least they didn't just patch him up and send him home, it sounds like you got someone who has listened and hopefully your dad gets the help he needs and you can rest a bit easier tonight x

Tinder x "

The morning shift leader actually listened to me. She wrote stuff on the notes that is really helpful and the fact he's been observed for a long period means all the challenging issues are being seen. If he's at a brief appointment, he can often "pass".

He told one professional that he wasn't there due to the fall, but because he wanted to be a volunteer at the hospital, for example.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"

The morning shift leader actually listened to me. She wrote stuff on the notes that is really helpful and the fact he's been observed for a long period means all the challenging issues are being seen. If he's at a brief appointment, he can often "pass".

He told one professional that he wasn't there due to the fall, but because he wanted to be a volunteer at the hospital, for example. "

I know that one all too well with my nan and going to appointments or a&e, fingers crossed this is the first step in getting some wheels in motion for some help x

Tinder x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah KC such a stressful situation. I'm glad you've managed to get home to have a little break from it all, although I can imagine you're still exhausted and upset. I hope your dad manages to recover quickly. It's absolutely horrendous. Maybe they will be able to put better after care support in place after this hospital visit. I really hope they do.

I'm in Ireland and it's not much better here. I walked out of A&E after 8 hours a couple of weeks ago. I was in so much pain, but when I went up to ask when I would be seen there was still 48 people in front of me.

It's absolutely fucked.

Sending you love. X

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Yeah we had this the other week, absolute shit show. I mean the staff were lovely, but then they sent person home and said there'd be at least an 8 week wait for a scan... Which they could have done while they were there!! So we'll just wait for another incident and they end up back in hospital shall we?

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"Have they mangaged to sort his breathing Mrs KC, fingers crossed he gets moved up soon and you both get some sleep x

Despite broken ribs, his breathing is OK so long as he doesn't take deep breaths and so long as he doesn't get agitated and angry. Unfortunately the latter is happening too much. I've been shouted at a lot. He fell on top of me this morning because he tried to launch himself up.

I've had to come home because I couldn't continue "

Do you think this will help with the other issues your were facing? They'll have to put a care package in place for him going home surely?

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Have they mangaged to sort his breathing Mrs KC, fingers crossed he gets moved up soon and you both get some sleep x

Despite broken ribs, his breathing is OK so long as he doesn't take deep breaths and so long as he doesn't get agitated and angry. Unfortunately the latter is happening too much. I've been shouted at a lot. He fell on top of me this morning because he tried to launch himself up.

I've had to come home because I couldn't continue

Do you think this will help with the other issues your were facing? They'll have to put a care package in place for him going home surely? "

I have no idea what it will culminate in, but hoping they can see that allowing him home on his own without some sort of regular support is just stupid. The shift leader this morning at least recognised that. However, they aren't the decision making authority. That will be social services and prior experience with them has been dreadful.

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By *esidloverWoman
over a year ago

Bradford

For the future ring 111 first they can generally help you out with an OOH appt

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"For the future ring 111 first they can generally help you out with an OOH appt

"

Unfortunately out of hours GPs through 111 can't help with falls and broken ribs. He needed a CT scan to check for internal injury because of his use of blood thinners. That's only available via A&E. Also 111 response times are just as bad, if not worse. My expectation of ringing 111 yesterday would have been them sending an ambulance. Which would have waited just as long - this morning we had ambulance staff stuck on handovers offering to do observations of those waiting on trollies and bringing drinks to people, because otherwise they were just stood hanging about, waiting in the same mêlée as everyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As an A&E Consultant, I apologise. This is really shit and we hate it. The explanation doesn’t help those affected, but it’s a throughout issue. Wards are full so we can’t move patients from ED to a ward. We can’t stop patients turning up though, so a backlog forms in ED. We try our best to provide dignity etc but it’s difficult.

And shit for patients and their relatives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Incredibly stressful situation for you and your dad. I hope you do get some rest so you're fresher to deal with what else happens - and I've no doubt you will fight for him!

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"As an A&E Consultant, I apologise. This is really shit and we hate it. The explanation doesn’t help those affected, but it’s a throughout issue. Wards are full so we can’t move patients from ED to a ward. We can’t stop patients turning up though, so a backlog forms in ED. We try our best to provide dignity etc but it’s difficult.

And shit for patients and their relatives. "

We understand why it's happening and we know people such as yourself are doing your utmost. Just watching Dr. K last night shows how hard medical staff are working but like you say, there's nowhere to place those people needing to be admitted and there's no social care for people ready to discharge.

The staff have all been excellent. One nurse in particular, who we had allocated in the early hours was brilliant.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings


"Have they mangaged to sort his breathing Mrs KC, fingers crossed he gets moved up soon and you both get some sleep x

Despite broken ribs, his breathing is OK so long as he doesn't take deep breaths and so long as he doesn't get agitated and angry. Unfortunately the latter is happening too much. I've been shouted at a lot. He fell on top of me this morning because he tried to launch himself up.

I've had to come home because I couldn't continue "

Don't be hard on you. You can't help if tierd and hungry etc get some sleep and think of you for a few hours.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

Oh, it's all going tits up now. He's STILL in A&E. 29hrs and counting. And he's become very aggressive and they're struggling with him. Had two calls in the past hour.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings


"Oh, it's all going tits up now. He's STILL in A&E. 29hrs and counting. And he's become very aggressive and they're struggling with him. Had two calls in the past hour. "
Am thinking of you and your dad good luck with to day.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials


"Oh, it's all going tits up now. He's STILL in A&E. 29hrs and counting. And he's become very aggressive and they're struggling with him. Had two calls in the past hour. "

As horrible as this is for you all, this has to happen to ensure he gets the aftercare he needs. Professionals are witnessing his behaviour & it’s being noted. Social services won’t be able to ignore it. Still sorry you’re having to deal with all this though xxx

J x

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"I feel, and this is my opinion only, that the crises within the NHS are fabricated and designed to ensure that when the NHS is announced to be privatised will face very little pushbacks

As is the housing crisis, financial crisis etc, all designed with bigger and alternate agendas

But saying this the NHS could simply be understaffed and underpaid but regardless I feel for you and your father "

The nhs most certainly does NOT fabricate "crises" our trust is constantly on black alert, ie there are absolutely no beds anywhere in the hospital... the nhs is woefully understaffed, underpaid, undervalued and overworked...

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"Oh, it's all going tits up now. He's STILL in A&E. 29hrs and counting. And he's become very aggressive and they're struggling with him. Had two calls in the past hour.

As horrible as this is for you all, this has to happen to ensure he gets the aftercare he needs. Professionals are witnessing his behaviour & it’s being noted. Social services won’t be able to ignore it. Still sorry you’re having to deal with all this though xxx

J x"

This x

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

They found him a bed, last night I think. He stayed in A&E for 30-odd hours. There was talk of sedation and all sorts but I managed to talk him round. This is the problem though. I'm about the only person he will listen to.

He seems calmer today but agitating to go home, of course. We await "the plan", which almost certainly will take forever

The nurses and doctors who have been involved thus far can see clearly the issues but the big decisions will not be made by them. Assesments by the social care people last time were brief and cursory and did not capture the whole situation. I fear the same again. If they see him for 10 minutes in a lucid period, they will be sending him home!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"They found him a bed, last night I think. He stayed in A&E for 30-odd hours. There was talk of sedation and all sorts but I managed to talk him round. This is the problem though. I'm about the only person he will listen to.

He seems calmer today but agitating to go home, of course. We await "the plan", which almost certainly will take forever

The nurses and doctors who have been involved thus far can see clearly the issues but the big decisions will not be made by them. Assesments by the social care people last time were brief and cursory and did not capture the whole situation. I fear the same again. If they see him for 10 minutes in a lucid period, they will be sending him home! "

This used to happen with my mum. She would convince the discharge officer, occupational health and social services that she could manage and had help...from her daughter . Her oft repeated phrases were "I'm fine" and 'we manage quite nicely ". I tried to be at every assessment so that I could tell them the reality of her situation but that wasn't possible. She would also dramatically claim to any visitors or staff that my dad didn't want her at home which was very far from the truth. Once home she would accept carers for about a week then sack them putting immeasurable stress on my dad and I. Eventually we used to take bets on how long it would be before she sent them packing.

Nobody but my father, Mr N and I truly knew the situation. I suspect it's the same for you Mrs KC, people will pay lip service but nobody really understands what it's like

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"They found him a bed, last night I think. He stayed in A&E for 30-odd hours. There was talk of sedation and all sorts but I managed to talk him round. This is the problem though. I'm about the only person he will listen to.

He seems calmer today but agitating to go home, of course. We await "the plan", which almost certainly will take forever

The nurses and doctors who have been involved thus far can see clearly the issues but the big decisions will not be made by them. Assesments by the social care people last time were brief and cursory and did not capture the whole situation. I fear the same again. If they see him for 10 minutes in a lucid period, they will be sending him home!

This used to happen with my mum. She would convince the discharge officer, occupational health and social services that she could manage and had help...from her daughter . Her oft repeated phrases were "I'm fine" and 'we manage quite nicely ". I tried to be at every assessment so that I could tell them the reality of her situation but that wasn't possible. She would also dramatically claim to any visitors or staff that my dad didn't want her at home which was very far from the truth. Once home she would accept carers for about a week then sack them putting immeasurable stress on my dad and I. Eventually we used to take bets on how long it would be before she sent them packing.

Nobody but my father, Mr N and I truly knew the situation. I suspect it's the same for you Mrs KC, people will pay lip service but nobody really understands what it's like"

This is exactly what happened with Dad after his neck break last year. Social care happy to send him home with nothing. No-one from social care met me because they just turned up, no appointments. They disbelieved me about my own physical disabilities and poo-pooed our concerns. The "care package" was withdrawn by them after two weeks. Dad told them he didn't need it. That was good enough for them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"They found him a bed, last night I think. He stayed in A&E for 30-odd hours. There was talk of sedation and all sorts but I managed to talk him round. This is the problem though. I'm about the only person he will listen to.

He seems calmer today but agitating to go home, of course. We await "the plan", which almost certainly will take forever

The nurses and doctors who have been involved thus far can see clearly the issues but the big decisions will not be made by them. Assesments by the social care people last time were brief and cursory and did not capture the whole situation. I fear the same again. If they see him for 10 minutes in a lucid period, they will be sending him home!

This used to happen with my mum. She would convince the discharge officer, occupational health and social services that she could manage and had help...from her daughter . Her oft repeated phrases were "I'm fine" and 'we manage quite nicely ". I tried to be at every assessment so that I could tell them the reality of her situation but that wasn't possible. She would also dramatically claim to any visitors or staff that my dad didn't want her at home which was very far from the truth. Once home she would accept carers for about a week then sack them putting immeasurable stress on my dad and I. Eventually we used to take bets on how long it would be before she sent them packing.

Nobody but my father, Mr N and I truly knew the situation. I suspect it's the same for you Mrs KC, people will pay lip service but nobody really understands what it's like

This is exactly what happened with Dad after his neck break last year. Social care happy to send him home with nothing. No-one from social care met me because they just turned up, no appointments. They disbelieved me about my own physical disabilities and poo-pooed our concerns. The "care package" was withdrawn by them after two weeks. Dad told them he didn't need it. That was good enough for them."

I believe they are more than willing to assume that someone has full competence. I know and understand that older people are individuals and even if they are making decisions I don't agree with they're adults with minds of their own and being old is no reason to assume they're not capable etc etc etc *but* when it's flaming obvious that the decisions they're making put not only themselves but other people at serious risk of harm...at almost any other stage of life we'd fully expect an intervention by professionals

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"They found him a bed, last night I think. He stayed in A&E for 30-odd hours. There was talk of sedation and all sorts but I managed to talk him round. This is the problem though. I'm about the only person he will listen to.

He seems calmer today but agitating to go home, of course. We await "the plan", which almost certainly will take forever

The nurses and doctors who have been involved thus far can see clearly the issues but the big decisions will not be made by them. Assesments by the social care people last time were brief and cursory and did not capture the whole situation. I fear the same again. If they see him for 10 minutes in a lucid period, they will be sending him home!

This used to happen with my mum. She would convince the discharge officer, occupational health and social services that she could manage and had help...from her daughter . Her oft repeated phrases were "I'm fine" and 'we manage quite nicely ". I tried to be at every assessment so that I could tell them the reality of her situation but that wasn't possible. She would also dramatically claim to any visitors or staff that my dad didn't want her at home which was very far from the truth. Once home she would accept carers for about a week then sack them putting immeasurable stress on my dad and I. Eventually we used to take bets on how long it would be before she sent them packing.

Nobody but my father, Mr N and I truly knew the situation. I suspect it's the same for you Mrs KC, people will pay lip service but nobody really understands what it's like

This is exactly what happened with Dad after his neck break last year. Social care happy to send him home with nothing. No-one from social care met me because they just turned up, no appointments. They disbelieved me about my own physical disabilities and poo-pooed our concerns. The "care package" was withdrawn by them after two weeks. Dad told them he didn't need it. That was good enough for them.

I believe they are more than willing to assume that someone has full competence. I know and understand that older people are individuals and even if they are making decisions I don't agree with they're adults with minds of their own and being old is no reason to assume they're not capable etc etc etc *but* when it's flaming obvious that the decisions they're making put not only themselves but other people at serious risk of harm...at almost any other stage of life we'd fully expect an intervention by professionals "

Put it this way. Last year (and again now) he was under DoLS. Assessed as lacking capacity by doctors and nurses alike. But social services found he had capacity. That says it all. I honestly think they'd find capacity in a pet dog if it meant not having to provide care. I know the system is overwhelmed but the solution is not leaving families to muddle through. Especially not expecting a physically disabled person to provide care in an inaccessible house.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

On the most recent phonecall:

"Is says here you live with your Dad..."

NO!!!! I do not. I never have, not even as a child!!!! Delete that statement from the god damned system. Yesterday, someone wrote on the system that I am a wheelchair user and definitely CANNOT look after him. How does that morph into "lives with daughter"?!?!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"They found him a bed, last night I think. He stayed in A&E for 30-odd hours. There was talk of sedation and all sorts but I managed to talk him round. This is the problem though. I'm about the only person he will listen to.

He seems calmer today but agitating to go home, of course. We await "the plan", which almost certainly will take forever

The nurses and doctors who have been involved thus far can see clearly the issues but the big decisions will not be made by them. Assesments by the social care people last time were brief and cursory and did not capture the whole situation. I fear the same again. If they see him for 10 minutes in a lucid period, they will be sending him home!

This used to happen with my mum. She would convince the discharge officer, occupational health and social services that she could manage and had help...from her daughter . Her oft repeated phrases were "I'm fine" and 'we manage quite nicely ". I tried to be at every assessment so that I could tell them the reality of her situation but that wasn't possible. She would also dramatically claim to any visitors or staff that my dad didn't want her at home which was very far from the truth. Once home she would accept carers for about a week then sack them putting immeasurable stress on my dad and I. Eventually we used to take bets on how long it would be before she sent them packing.

Nobody but my father, Mr N and I truly knew the situation. I suspect it's the same for you Mrs KC, people will pay lip service but nobody really understands what it's like

This is exactly what happened with Dad after his neck break last year. Social care happy to send him home with nothing. No-one from social care met me because they just turned up, no appointments. They disbelieved me about my own physical disabilities and poo-pooed our concerns. The "care package" was withdrawn by them after two weeks. Dad told them he didn't need it. That was good enough for them.

I believe they are more than willing to assume that someone has full competence. I know and understand that older people are individuals and even if they are making decisions I don't agree with they're adults with minds of their own and being old is no reason to assume they're not capable etc etc etc *but* when it's flaming obvious that the decisions they're making put not only themselves but other people at serious risk of harm...at almost any other stage of life we'd fully expect an intervention by professionals

Put it this way. Last year (and again now) he was under DoLS. Assessed as lacking capacity by doctors and nurses alike. But social services found he had capacity. That says it all. I honestly think they'd find capacity in a pet dog if it meant not having to provide care. I know the system is overwhelmed but the solution is not leaving families to muddle through. Especially not expecting a physically disabled person to provide care in an inaccessible house. "

Frustrating isn't it.

Still once you're exhausted mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally they'll be asking why you didn't ask for help ...

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'm just sending a gentle hug for you x

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I'm just sending a gentle hug for you x"

Thanks, it's much appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the most recent phonecall:

"Is says here you live with your Dad..."

NO!!!! I do not. I never have, not even as a child!!!! Delete that statement from the god damned system. Yesterday, someone wrote on the system that I am a wheelchair user and definitely CANNOT look after him. How does that morph into "lives with daughter"?!?!"

Might he be the one who told them that?

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"On the most recent phonecall:

"Is says here you live with your Dad..."

NO!!!! I do not. I never have, not even as a child!!!! Delete that statement from the god damned system. Yesterday, someone wrote on the system that I am a wheelchair user and definitely CANNOT look after him. How does that morph into "lives with daughter"?!?!

Might he be the one who told them that? "

Yes, probably asked "do you live with your daughter", to which he'll just say "yes". His demeanor should be sufficient to show that he hasn't got any idea what's what, but there we are. Today's update is that no notes have been left from the morning rounds so apart from telling us he's eaten food and is calmer, nothing of any substance could be reported this evening. Instills plenty of confidence.

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