FabSwingers.com forum: Who says Feminists don’t have a sense of humour? It’s the misogynist AND misandrist joke thread

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just to show we can all laugh at ourselves, how about a thread of jokes about the opposite sex?

As I’m an equal opportunities misogynist / misandrist (I hate men AND women equally) it’s open to all!

It’s just a bit of fun, Fabsters, don’t take it *too* seriously, remember jokes don’t necessarily reflect the true feelings / thoughts of the person posting them so hold your horses on those block lists!

Anyway ..

What’s the difference between a man and a condom?

Condoms have changed, they’re no longer thick and insensitive.

Why do women have arms?

Have you any idea how long it would take to *lick* a bathroom clean?

I KNOW you can do better though, Fabsters.

Remember .. IT’S JUST A BIT OF FUN!!

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Not in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not in."

very wise!! You and everyone else by looks of it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do men have their best ideas during sex?

Because they’re plugged into a genius

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

Q: What do you call bees that produce milk instead of honey?

A: Boo-Bees!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do men have their best ideas during sex?

Because they’re plugged into a genius

That’s the spirit!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Q: What do you call bees that produce milk instead of honey?

A: Boo-Bees!"

My fave type of bee!

( . Y . )

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"Q: What do you call bees that produce milk instead of honey?

A: Boo-Bees!

My fave type of bee!

( . Y . )"

I know

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Photographic engineers have developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast, for the first time on record they have managed to capture the image of a woman with her mouth shut

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Photographic engineers have developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast, for the first time on record they have managed to capture the image of a woman with her mouth shut

this is the type of content we want to see!

It’s just a light hearted joke, folks!

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

My wife turned to me and said,

"What starts with F and ends with K?"

and I said,

"No it doesn't."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My wife turned to me and said,

"What starts with F and ends with K?"

and I said,

"No it doesn't.""

It’s “Fuck” isn’t it? It is. I know it!!

p.s. fancy one?

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

Why did God give men penises?

So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why did God give men penises?

So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up."

shhhhh …

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down ?

Kick her in the cunt.

The mr

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down ?

Kick her in the cunt.

The mr "

it's so so wrong but I actually lollledddddd

Sooooooooo wrong

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down ?

Kick her in the cunt.

The mr "

You. OUT!

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be ridiculous. Feminism hasn't changed anything.

/Note. You can stop there and maybe get a laugh but if you really want to dig your own grave, then add they just like complaining (like all women do).

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

What did one misanthrope say to the other misanthrope?

Nothing they can't stand each other

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be ridiculous. Feminism hasn't changed anything.

/Note. You can stop there and maybe get a laugh but if you really want to dig your own grave, then add they just like complaining (like all women do). "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What did one misanthrope say to the other misanthrope?

Nothing they can't stand each other

Clever

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

What kind of letters do feminists send?

Hate Male

Tinder

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

My missus says I never enjoy her cooking.. So to prove her wrong I had another slice of Gravy

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By *ostindreamsMan
over a year ago

London

There is one Jimmy Carr joke which is probably the most offensive joke to women that I have ever heard. Don't want to say it and be sent to naughty corner.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What kind of letters do feminists send?

Hate Male

Tinder "

ooh I’m copying that one!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My missus says I never enjoy her cooking.. So to prove her wrong I had another slice of Gravy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is one Jimmy Carr joke which is probably the most offensive joke to women that I have ever heard. Don't want to say it and be sent to naughty corner."

There’s so many offensive ones .. his live shows are epic! YouTube has some classic routines!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What takes ten parking spaces?

Five women

Why are men like toilets?

They're either vacant, engaged, or full of crap

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

What fruit do feminists like the most?

The mango.

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

What's the definition of selfishness?

A person who uses a ribbed condom, inside out.

Why do women in general, have smaller feet than blokes?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

Why do women wear white at their weddings? To match the color of their kitchen appliances.

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By *enry-The-WaspMan
over a year ago

London

Womens' eyesight is very odd. They can spot a single long blonde hair on your lapel all the way across a darkened bedroom at 3.30 in the morning.... but.... they can't see a 6 foot tall solid brick wall whilst reversing on their own drive in broad daylight!

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

What's the smartest thing to come out of a woman's mouth?

Einstein's cock.

What's the difference between a G spot and a golf ball?

A man will actually search for a golf ball.

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By *artinMG4Man
over a year ago

Leeds

So after many years of research by professors at a top university they have finally revealed what is THE ultimate woman!

She's 3'1" tall with a flat head.

Perfect for resting your pint on while she sucks you off!!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Women, why is your MAN like your BRA?

They make our lives very uncomfortable but society has brainwashed us into believing we can't do without them.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Every FAB meet where a woman listens with interest to a man is an extended piece of performance art and he has NO idea.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

20 things that a WOMAN should stop wearing after the age of 30!

1 - 20 ....

The weight of men's expectations and judgements.

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By *rettyboylloydMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be ridiculous. Feminism hasn't changed anything "

How many "Karens" does it take to change a light bulb???

Oh, only the one. She holds the bulb out and expects the whole world to revolve around her.

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

Johnny Depp: The first man, to win an argument, against a woman.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

^^ that’s more like it peeps! More of these sorts of things!

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

My wife suffers from polycistic ovarian syndrome, you may have heard of it.

Apparently it affects woman's hormones causing mood swings, low sex drive and psychotic episodes.

So it's really hard to detect........

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By *dventurous biMan
over a year ago

tesside

"My wife suffers from polycistic ovarian syndrome, you may have heard of it.

Apparently it affects woman's hormones causing mood swings, low sex drive and psychotic episodes.

So it's really hard to detect........

I laughed, even though I knew I shouldn’t.

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"My wife suffers from polycistic ovarian syndrome, you may have heard of it.

Apparently it affects woman's hormones causing mood swings, low sex drive and psychotic episodes.

So it's really hard to detect........

I laughed, even though I knew I shouldn’t."

Same when I first heard it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why did God create men?

Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn..

How do you confuse a feminist?

Tell her that you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I’ve come to the conclusion that Google was invented by a female, that’s why it won’t let you finish your sentence without making a recommendation

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you call a feminist government?

A dick-hater-ship

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do so few men end up in Heaven?

They never stop to ask for directions

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

[Removed by poster at 08/09/23 21:57:29]

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

How did doctors come up with the medical term "PMS"?

"Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

What is college feminism?

10,000 women who took Gender Studies to figure out why there aren’t enough female engineers.

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By *panksspankedMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be ridiculous. Feminism hasn't changed anything.

/Note. You can stop there and maybe get a laugh but if you really want to dig your own grave, then add they just like complaining (like all women do). "

Alternative answer Just one!

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

What`s the definition of a misogynist? A man who hates every bone in the female body... except his own.

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

Me and the wife like to play games that reflect our jobs.

As a Policeman I like to play Cluedo.

As a women's rights campaigner she likes to play Trivial Pursuit.

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