FabSwingers.com forum: Why do people fear living in their truth?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am being highly naive here but why is it so difficult to be honest? I know fear, judgement, stigmatisation and power play a big part in the whys and wherefores.

‘Yes i’m a bigger bodied’

‘Yes i’m short’

‘Yes i am bisexual/hete

exible’

‘Yes i am married no my partner does not know i’m on here’

Surely it makes it easier for everyone to know where they stand. Misrepresentation and then deflecting the embarrassment on to the other person when caught in the lie seems like a shitty thing to do imho. Maybe no one owes anyone the truth? *shrug emoji*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I think anyone you’re meeting should know these things. As for anyone else it’s none of their business.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Physical attributes people need to know for sure. But their private lives are up to the individual if they want to share details or not in my opinion. I wouldn't pressure anyone to disclose anything they wasn't comfortable with. Yes people do lie but most of time, I don't think people are purposely trying to deceive anyone, they are just guarded which is understandable as fab relationships are not on a deeper level.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

*hetero-flexible

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

All I need to know is if someone likes glitter

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what they're asking/saying? I like to think I'm always pretty open... But there are personal things I frankly wouldn't mention to someone I barely know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uffolkcouple-bi onlyCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

I think people are just trying to maximise the chances of some action. Some lies are always going to get found out - age, body size, cock size etc - some may not, such as if they have a partner or are bi etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

In short ,to increase their chances of getting meets

Lots of people won't meet attached men or bi men ,same with smoking .

The body type I don't know why that's listed as different ,as people are gonna see them if they meet.Unless they hope the person they've met will just go along with it anyway.

If people don't wanna put bi/attached/large on their profile,they should at the least make it very clear to anyone they plan to meet though ,

I can't stand people who omit things to suit themselves.

Miss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I believe I am pretty honest in my profile. I choose the more flattering pictures but I don't think anyone is surprised when they meet me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tsJustKateWoman
over a year ago

London

I judge by personality and actions. Their private life is just that, PRIVATE!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *essaMayWoman
over a year ago

Fairytale Wood

People lie to get what they want simples, nothing new. People say what they think someone else wants to hear to get what they want.

One of the other main causes of ghosting and stand ups. Behind keyboard they can be anyone. Real life you see who they really are if they turned up.

Everyone puts on a mask social media makes it easier to hide behand the mask.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't fear it. I just don't find most people here deserve my honesty.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think anyone you’re meeting should know these things. As for anyone else it’s none of their business. "

Nora nails it

(p.s. Can I nail Nora?)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to he honest and would appreciate the same in return so everyone can give consent. If you’ve been asked something specific that is a deal breaker to meeting and you lie then you are taking away their consent.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am being highly naive here but why is it so difficult to be honest? I know fear, judgement, stigmatisation and power play a big part in the whys and wherefores.

‘Yes i’m a bigger bodied’

‘Yes i’m short’

‘Yes i am bisexual/hete

exible’

‘Yes i am married no my partner does not know i’m on here’

Yes yes yes. I HATE lies in any form, be it omission or an outright lie. I've been had a few times but for some reason he manages to turn it around or make it reasonable. Then I'm full of doubts etc.

The things is I don't get why he always wants to work it through. He has another he plays with often, why bother with me? We don't play a lot. I just don't get it. *Shrug emoji*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umagain58Man
over a year ago

London

Could not agree more op. Much better to say what like or not and don’t judge others. Much nicer meets then with lovely people. Plenty of guys just lie and say things like they have a 10 inch cock. Why do that as obvious not in many cases. Some do of course but not me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I think anyone you’re meeting should know these things. As for anyone else it’s none of their business.

Nora nails it

(p.s. Can I nail Nora?)"

Again?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umagain58Man
over a year ago

London

"I think anyone you’re meeting should know these things. As for anyone else it’s none of their business.

Nora nails it

(p.s. Can I nail Nora?)

Again?

What help can you offer Nora if I may ask

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *apidaryMan
over a year ago

Chipping Norton

"All I need to know is if someone likes glitter

I refuse to provide an honest answer.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Fab forum personas have to be maintained.

There are so many things said in threads every day that bear no resemblance to how those people present in private.

They can't even be honest with themselves so there's no way they will be with anyone else.

I refuse to believe that these people are so lacking in self awareness that they can't see what they are doing so I have to assume it's a deliberate act.

On one hand it's the only thing that makes me roll my eyes on here but on the other it's like premature rubbernecking because they really are a carcrash waiting to happen and it will be so entertaining when they have to face the consequences of their words and actions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"Physical attributes people need to know for sure. But their private lives are up to the individual if they want to share details or not in my opinion. I wouldn't pressure anyone to disclose anything they wasn't comfortable with. Yes people do lie but most of time, I don't think people are purposely trying to deceive anyone, they are just guarded which is understandable as fab relationships are not on a deeper level."

A huge amount of wisdom in this. If we consider meets through fab as transactional then it shouldn’t be expected that people open up their whole selves. That’s for when you want to form a deeper connection and forge a lasting relationship

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread