FabSwingers.com forum: Too hot! (hot damn!)

By *ruceyy OP Man
over a year ago

London

Hi fab. I've been chatting to someone. (Oooooh)

The topic came up of being insecure even if someone wants to meet someone. So have you ever had it where someone wants to meet you but you are skeptical because you think THEY are too hot for you?

Genuinely interested in this one. So reply. Even you that pretends to hate me!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg yes, all the time.

Probably because I have no confidence in myself and am very self conscious, so it’s always a thought in the back of my mind that I’m not good enough and why is this person interested in me when they’re way out of my league.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope…….

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

First I hope your chat is fruitful.

And to your question no but I've had the reverse. But it wasn't they thought that I was hot, but why would I want to see them. They were either looking for an ego boost or their self esteem was in their boots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So reply. Even you that pretends to hate me!"

What about the ones who really hate you?

L*I'm sure there are some

)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Nope because i’m absolutely magnificent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

I’ve ended conversations with people because I think they are too hot and would be disappointed in me. Or if I’ve looked at their veris and seen how hot all their previous meets were I back out then too.

I’m trying very hard not to do it with someone I’m talking to now.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I remember once last year being genuinely surprised that someone so absurdly attractive wanted a date with my weird gothy arse. But I did it anyway and it was fabulous. And I'm in a much less self deprecating place these days

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Never

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Yes, absolutely, all the time. Every time, in fact.

I think this goes with the territory for me though. If I want to meet someone it’s because I think they’re fucking amazing. So hell yeah I feel like an awkward ugly duckling in comparison.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Yeah

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

I try to meet people who I have something in common with and enjoy interacting with. It takes a lot of the pressure away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No"

Can you stop being so enthusiastic please.

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By *ruceyy OP Man
over a year ago

London

"So reply. Even you that pretends to hate me!

What about the ones who really hate you?

L*I'm sure there are some

Impossible!

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

"Hi fab. I've been chatting to someone. (Oooooh)

The topic came up of being insecure even if someone wants to meet someone. So have you ever had it where someone wants to meet you but you are skeptical because you think THEY are too hot for you?

Genuinely interested in this one. So reply. Even you that pretends to hate me!"

I have definitely had plenty of thoughts where I have said to myself that I am surprised they are interested because they must have so many hotter people interested in them. But I don't let that worry me. My attraction is not purely physical so I assume that is the same for others too.

Maybe it is my sparkling conversation that is luring them in.

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By *essicagraceWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Sometimes. But that tends to fade when either the conversation fizzles or a meet happens! I'm slowly getting better at believing I'm hot shit ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's normal but it's on me not them. I'm sure we all have our insecurities that flow over into the lifestyle. Plenty of times I've felt skeptical over the beautiful people but maybe they just think you are beautiful too.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"No"

I shall expand... Briefly

They are talking to me, they are somewhat interested. They seem to want to meet.

We meet, they become disappointed (or me in them). We leave it at that, what changed? Things happened but nothing changed, it's no different than if we had gone separate ways because of worries without meeting. Instead of a what if, it's now a oh well, but the end result is the same pretty much.

People are strange. We are attracted to strange and weird shit, that includes people. Often we can't explain why we just do.

I find it strange when people are attracted to me, interested in me, like me, interact with me. But they do it, so no point worrying about the why. They are just as weird as me in that case, and I like it.

Granted when it comes to this it's generally easier for men than women to be accept interest towards them due to it being more likely a man will want the sex more than the person (say it with me now: not all men!)

If somebody likes you, don't stress. They will be weird but that's okay. Just take it as a compliment and see where it leads.

See, told you brief.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

I have definitely had the feeling that with some “hotter” looking guys, and some couples, that they’re only putting in enough effort to meet because I am a back up plan.

This is not all hot people and obviously to some I am hotter than I believe myself to be. Each person should deserve to be treated on their own merits. It’s definitely the way I prefer to live

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By *rincipessaWoman
over a year ago

your wildest dreams,

It’s not about feeling they’re too hot for me, but more about my own feelings of inadequacy

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

Yes

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

I've a feeling the majority of the women will say no but the majority of the Men will say yes.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Y’know, Fab has helped change this sort of insecurity for me.

There are people out there who fancy me. And they’re fucking hot! So maybe I’m not all that bad myself after all.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I have been genuinely surprised to have been approached by people who I have put on a pedestal. I have been guilty of thinking you’re too hot for me in the past.

But I’m more pragmatic now, because I find people hot for lots of different (sometimes) odd reasons. So it theoretically stands to reason that others feel the same way. So there’s no real reason I can’t tick a box for someone. We’re all hot in our own way, to some people.

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"I remember once last year being genuinely surprised that someone so absurdly attractive wanted a date with my weird gothy arse. But I did it anyway and it was fabulous. And I'm in a much less self deprecating place these days

Glad to hear this, be confident your weird Gothy arse is sexy as hell

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"Hi fab. I've been chatting to someone. (Oooooh)

The topic came up of being insecure even if someone wants to meet someone. So have you ever had it where someone wants to meet you but you are skeptical because you think THEY are too hot for you?

Genuinely interested in this one. So reply. Even you that pretends to hate me!"

Yes although for me it’s not making contact at all on the basis they’re too hot for me and would laugh in my face. I wish I’d bottled the fearlessness and confidence I had in my 20s lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No, never. I assume it they ask to meet it's because they want to. Their reasons for wanting to meet me might not be very flattering though but I can't know that.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It's not that they're too hot. It's more.... I don't think I'm anything particularly special. I don't have that sort of sexual energy/charisma.

But sometimes you say fuck it don't you? That's what I'm saying today - on my way to spend time with someone who I thought wouldn't be interested in me and we've been talking for a couple of years now.

So maybe I'll always think I'm not hot enough. I can keep saying fuck it and just going for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite often...

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Y’know, Fab has helped change this sort of insecurity for me.

There are people out there who fancy me. And they’re fucking hot! So maybe I’m not all that bad myself after all."

Exactly it! Though I still stand behind they are weird more than I am not all that bad.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Nope because i’m absolutely magnificent

Yes you bloody are.

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By *ruceyy OP Man
over a year ago

London

Look at all this lurve!

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

Yes

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"Omg yes, all the time.

Yep, exactly this for me.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

No, not that someone is too hot necessarily, but I definitely worry about being a disappointment. Not sure if that's quite the same thing!

I am, though, more likely to be sceptical about things like age, or if I can see that everyone else they've met is very different to me.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Nope because i’m absolutely magnificent

Yes you bloody are.

Why thank you

I feel all fuzzy inside

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By *uke_silverMan
over a year ago

London

Disappointed no one's mentioned the song which is an absolute banger - Uptown Funk for those wondering.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

It isn't so much about their 'hotness' or perhaps even being out of their league; it's being fearful that I won't live up to their expectations when we meet. I sometimes think the other person can do 'better'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How have I only just seen this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say insecure, but always very nervous when we meet someone for the first time after having chatted and exchanged pictures.

Why? People behave differently in person. By this point I've obviously sent our pictures and they've sent theirs.

There are so many boxes to tick for a meet to go as planned - I can look attractive in pictures, but do I tick the boxes in terms of mannerisms, laugh, energy, they way I look at them and vice versa?

Our conversation, our cumulative personas need to mesh... we've got to click with them and sometimes it's easy to say no from a single picture, but In our experience it's when we meet that we know if it's a yes or a no.

Summary: Yes, there is insecurity in terms of nervousness, but you don't know until you meet them!

xx Jess

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By *Booboo-Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Hi fab. I've been chatting to someone. (Oooooh)

The topic came up of being insecure even if someone wants to meet someone. So have you ever had it where someone wants to meet you but you are skeptical because you think THEY are too hot for you?

Genuinely interested in this one. So reply. Even you that pretends to hate me!"

It's not necessary about being insecure, it's about being realistic sometimes.

On other apps I often swipe left on the absolute hotties because 1:I'm not going to get anywhere as they're out of my league and 2:I'm not going to add to their 9000 people who have liked them.

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By *ilth N KinkCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

All the time because I have very little self confidence. I’m trying to learn to overcome it but it’s not easy.

Kink (f)

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By *Booboo-Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"It isn't so much about their 'hotness' or perhaps even being out of their league; it's being fearful that I won't live up to their expectations when we meet. I sometimes think the other person can do 'better'."

A little bit of this too. Someone who has been on 1000 meets and has all the confidence is not going to be satisfied with me as tbh I'm fairly vanilla in this place.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I've not been worried that anyone might be too hot for me, I mean, just look at me

But I do seriously wonder why anyone would fancy me at times. I think we all have our internal worries, however confident we might seem

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

We are long past the point of worrying about this. We don’t consider ourselves hot at all, but we are good people, and we have a lot of fun with our friends. Everybody should have friends like us

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Hot people need sex and get desperate too.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I've not been worried that anyone might be too hot for me, I mean, just look at me

But I do seriously wonder why anyone would fancy me at times. I think we all have our internal worries, however confident we might seem "

People are weird. That's how I see it. We just like what we like.

I don't have a type or any of that shit. I often find I end up attracted to different people for different reasons, some can be common traits and others no connection and complete opposites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. And in my experience the "hot" guy is interested in me sexually but not as a person. And I've slowly realised that isn't good enough. (By no means am I suggesting all hot guys are just wanting to use women!).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hot people need sex and get desperate too."

Erm, that's not very appealing to the object of their desperation is it?

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Thats a definite no - no one is too hot for me and im not too hot for anyone - we either work or we don’t

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Yes, but I met them anyway and dragged them home and had a great time. I mean, I've got nothing to lose...

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