FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Automatic rights

Jump to newest
 

By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby

The female in a couple, begins playing with a single bi fem,

girl to girl

...when the male of the couple proceeds to join in, without enquiring if hes wanted there...... he assumes as his partner is involved, he has an automatic right to get involved.

How common is it ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"The female in a couple, begins playing with a single bi fem,

girl to girl

...when the male of the couple proceeds to join in, without enquiring if hes wanted there...... he assumes as his partner is involved, he has an automatic right to get involved.

How common is it ?"

Wouldn't he know if he is wanted there before the the actual meet?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The female in a couple, begins playing with a single bi fem,

girl to girl

...when the male of the couple proceeds to join in, without enquiring if hes wanted there...... he assumes as his partner is involved, he has an automatic right to get involved.

How common is it ?

Wouldn't he know if he is wanted there before the the actual meet?"

He would here....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


"The female in a couple, begins playing with a single bi fem,

girl to girl

...when the male of the couple proceeds to join in, without enquiring if hes wanted there...... he assumes as his partner is involved, he has an automatic right to get involved.

How common is it ?

Wouldn't he know if he is wanted there before the the actual meet?

He would here.... "

Sorry..In a party situation...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been in a situation like this ....

A couple come to meet us, prior to the meet it was all arranged that the 2 girls would play then the guys would join in .. lovely, just the job !

The husband of the couple was strangely inactive as the girls were playing, almost to the point of falling asleep, so me being me, I gently joined in the fun then all Hell broke loose. They were up, dressed and away out of the house in 5 minutes flat. The wife and I just looked at each other, mouths open in disbelief, then we got a text from them explaining that although they were married, she was only into woman and I'd upset here immensly by touching her ..........

So to the OP - nothing is set in stone, take it from me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"The female in a couple, begins playing with a single bi fem,

girl to girl

...when the male of the couple proceeds to join in, without enquiring if hes wanted there...... he assumes as his partner is involved, he has an automatic right to get involved.

How common is it ?

Wouldn't he know if he is wanted there before the the actual meet?

He would here....

Sorry..In a party situation... "

No one has an automatic right to anything.

However, I would think it pretty rude of a single person to start playing with one member of couple and just expect the other half to be excluded... unless they had explained this first. They certainly shouldn't be arsey at him testing the water by trying to join in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The female in a couple, begins playing with a single bi fem,

girl to girl

...when the male of the couple proceeds to join in, without enquiring if hes wanted there...... he assumes as his partner is involved, he has an automatic right to get involved.

How common is it ?"

I assume this is not a hypothetical question.

Reading between the lines it sounds like the incident occured in a club and you were piqued by it.

No always means no. I think most would say it is a quite natural assumption to make.

Granted in my experience as a swinging couple my intervention in a scene with either man or woman would not have been welcome. However that is far from the norm. I doubt most partners in a couple would want the other to feel left out.

However if his involvement was not welcome I am sure with a few gentle words he could be set straight.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's made clear at the outset of any exchange of emails etc that full swap is expected then anyone who isn't comfortable with can back off. Likewise, if a couple say they're fine with full swap then get arsey on the actual meet then they can fuck off.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is he wearing a ball gag at the time? I cant think of a set of circumstancies when it wouldnt just be easier to ask first? Might just be me cos we dont do the party thing, but it just seems easier to ask

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby

It was at a party.

The guy wasnt party to the initial discussions between the fems, he arrived on the scene a little later...and felt as one of the fems was his partner, he had an automatic right to join in without asking...

Thanks for your points of veiw..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Was it resolved without bloodshed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

The fem should also have explained that it would be likely her man may join in

At least give someone the option to decide whether or not they want to continue with the situation

I would have been livid

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The female in a couple, begins playing with a single bi fem,

girl to girl

...when the male of the couple proceeds to join in, without enquiring if hes wanted there...... he assumes as his partner is involved, he has an automatic right to get involved.

How common is it ?"

to be honest with you id say he does have the rights to join in, maybe not touch the other woman but if his wife is playing with someone else surely he dont have to ask to touch her?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a club situation I always ask both partners, and if it's fem to fem I take the lead from her as to whether her partner joins in or not, basic communication before any play is a must with myself.

Have also been in a situation in a club where a guys wife was for a roomful of men only, however, both gave their permission for me to be the only fem with her but with no contact between myself and her husband.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The female in a couple, begins playing with a single bi fem,

girl to girl

...when the male of the couple proceeds to join in, without enquiring if hes wanted there...... he assumes as his partner is involved, he has an automatic right to get involved.

How common is it ?"

this happened to me with my first girl on girl experience, her guy got carried away so my first girl experience didnt go as planned...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thing is at the end of the day most couples come as a couple, they meet as a couple, they swing as a couple, in my expereince if you dont want to play with both of them then stay away because very few couples are happy for you to play with their partners and be excluded

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

We don't

I play with single fems on my own,Rob is'nt involved in any way,he is'nt even in the room

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thing is at the end of the day most couples come as a couple, they meet as a couple, they swing as a couple, in my expereince if you dont want to play with both of them then stay away because very few couples are happy for you to play with their partners and be excluded "

yes i agree with what your saying and i am a couple now myself, but after along time chatting the rules were laid out from the start but sumtimes the heat of the moment takes over, the male wasnt being excluded, just wanted to be sure my 1st experience was right for me...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

I would have to say that if Katee was playing with a bi fem and I decided to join the fun. If the bi fem objected to me, no problem, I and my wife would leave her be. IF Katee decided to play by herself no problem, she would be walking home. I would already have left!!!

What is it they say? couples who play together stay together? In that scenario, this is plainly not happening. If the bi fem doesn't want the male involved, I would expect any wife to support her husband by leaving, unless of course the hubby gave his blessing to her carrying on without him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If Mrs Bonks was playing with a woman and I decided to join in the fun and the other woman objected, but Mrs Bonks was enjoying herself, I would happily sit back and enjoy watching Mrs Bonks having fun.

The same applies with her playing with single guys, sometimes I like to join in and sometimes I like to sit back and watch. Sometimes I can sense that she is so involved with the other guy that for me to interrupt would be very selfish and I am happy to sit back and enjoy her having fun.

Absolutely no issues with us, we arrive together and leave together and enjoy having totally uncomplicated fun together

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If Mrs Bonks was playing with a woman and I decided to join in the fun and the other woman objected, but Mrs Bonks was enjoying herself, I would happily sit back and enjoy watching Mrs Bonks having fun.

The same applies with her playing with single guys, sometimes I like to join in and sometimes I like to sit back and watch. Sometimes I can sense that she is so involved with the other guy that for me to interrupt would be very selfish and I am happy to sit back and enjoy her having fun.

Absolutely no issues with us, we arrive together and leave together and enjoy having totally uncomplicated fun together "

Now that is a sensible answer....or maybe it is just the one i agree with lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" IF Katee decided to play by herself no problem, she would be walking home. I would already have left!!!

"

dear god please tell thats a joke?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


" IF Katee decided to play by herself no problem, she would be walking home. I would already have left!!!

dear god please tell thats a joke? "

I bet you, its not a joke, its much more common than people admit..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

were they new to this??

as were still new and went to a club last week and I must have told my husband about 5 times to make sure he asked to join in. I think he gets all exsitedto much.

but the lovely man who was in the pool asked my hubby if he could indulge.

If it was the other way round and martyn was with someone i would go to join in with out thinking

xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


"were they new to this??

as were still new and went to a club last week and I must have told my husband about 5 times to make sure he asked to join in. I think he gets all exsitedto much.

but the lovely man who was in the pool asked my hubby if he could indulge.

If it was the other way round and martyn was with someone i would go to join in with out thinking

xx"

even without asking both involved???

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"were they new to this??

as were still new and went to a club last week and I must have told my husband about 5 times to make sure he asked to join in. I think he gets all exsitedto much.

but the lovely man who was in the pool asked my hubby if he could indulge.

If it was the other way round and martyn was with someone i would go to join in with out thinking

xx

even without asking both involved???"

Rules dont apply to women, can on get with the program

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


"were they new to this??

as were still new and went to a club last week and I must have told my husband about 5 times to make sure he asked to join in. I think he gets all exsitedto much.

but the lovely man who was in the pool asked my hubby if he could indulge.

If it was the other way round and martyn was with someone i would go to join in with out thinking

xx

even without asking both involved???

Rules dont apply to women, can on get with the program "

LOL..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

I'm not sure I would think about it.

I should do though. I jsut see us as a couple so we swing as a couple. but then again he was with a few ladies at the meet and I wasnt so maybe I would ask

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If Mrs Bonks was playing with a woman and I decided to join in the fun and the other woman objected, but Mrs Bonks was enjoying herself, I would happily sit back and enjoy watching Mrs Bonks having fun.

The same applies with her playing with single guys, sometimes I like to join in and sometimes I like to sit back and watch. Sometimes I can sense that she is so involved with the other guy that for me to interrupt would be very selfish and I am happy to sit back and enjoy her having fun.

Absolutely no issues with us, we arrive together and leave together and enjoy having totally uncomplicated fun together "

And thats the way it should be.

When we're at a party we'll most probably split up but keep crossing paths during the evening,either watching each other or maybe joining in.

We both enjoy ourselves and always,always leave together.

XXXX

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Rules dont apply to women, can on get with the program "

that does seem to be the case dont it lol

lost count of the amount of times ive been playing in a open room and a womans just started touching me, there would be all hell breaking loose if a guy just grabbed hole of another guys cock lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


"

Rules dont apply to women, can on get with the program

that does seem to be the case dont it lol

lost count of the amount of times ive been playing in a open room and a womans just started touching me, there would be all hell breaking loose if a guy just grabbed hole of another guys cock lol"

Bit unfair ,dont you think...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Rules dont apply to women, can on get with the program

that does seem to be the case dont it lol

lost count of the amount of times ive been playing in a open room and a womans just started touching me, there would be all hell breaking loose if a guy just grabbed hole of another guys cock lol

Bit unfair ,dont you think... "

its totally pisses me off to be honest lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well when I played as a swingle, if I met a couple it was to play with both parties, my preference.

Should I have decided I only wanted to play with a single guy or a single woman then that is what I would have looked for.

If on the other hand a couple came looking for me (as happened once) asking me to play with the guy and the fem just to watch then that would have been for me to decide at the time.

In a club situation, I would imagine it would only be polite for anyone to ask first before joining in, male or female ???

xxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If Mrs Bonks was playing with a woman and I decided to join in the fun and the other woman objected, but Mrs Bonks was enjoying herself, I would happily sit back and enjoy watching Mrs Bonks having fun.

The same applies with her playing with single guys, sometimes I like to join in and sometimes I like to sit back and watch. Sometimes I can sense that she is so involved with the other guy that for me to interrupt would be very selfish and I am happy to sit back and enjoy her having fun.

Absolutely no issues with us, we arrive together and leave together and enjoy having totally uncomplicated fun together "

You two seem to me to be a very 'together' couple good on you, wish more had the same attitude. xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

[Removed by poster at 04/12/09 22:48:44]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond


" IF Katee decided to play by herself no problem, she would be walking home. I would already have left!!!

dear god please tell thats a joke? "

No joke. If you have an arrangement with your partner to 'play together' and a 3rd party doesn't want to go along with that idea. surely you owe it to your partner to stick by them and not the 3rd party?

Its like going to a club together and then once inside, your partner going off to do their own thing leaving you to either stand out like a sore thumb or waiting while they have fun by themselves. Tell me where the mutual fun is in that?

Ive not heard of a club that only has couples nights and then lets guys roam around attempting to get in with other couples without their wife being with them have you?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why you must chat and agree what you all would like to happen during the play. No other way really....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The female in a couple, begins playing with a single bi fem,

girl to girl

...when the male of the couple proceeds to join in, without enquiring if hes wanted there...... he assumes as his partner is involved, he has an automatic right to get involved.

How common is it ?

to be honest with you id say he does have the rights to join in, maybe not touch the other woman but if his wife is playing with someone else surely he dont have to ask to touch her? "

Quite Right!! He should be able to do EXACTLY as he likes to his wife while she's with someone else. Then he could punch her lights out , keep her short of money and make sure she cooks and cleans for ever. Poor fella ...fancy having to ask his wife anything - males have automatic rights to women , we all know that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" IF Katee decided to play by herself no problem, she would be walking home. I would already have left!!!

dear god please tell thats a joke?

No joke. If you have an arrangement with your partner to 'play together' and a 3rd party doesn't want to go along with that idea. surely you owe it to your partner to stick by them and not the 3rd party?

Its like going to a club together and then once inside, your partner going off to do their own thing leaving you to either stand out like a sore thumb or waiting while they have fun by themselves. Tell me where the mutual fun is in that?

Ive not heard of a club that only has couples nights and then lets guys roam around attempting to get in with other couples without their wife being with them have you?"

ahh but you said "if katie decided to play by herself NO PROBLEM, but she would be walking home etc, if you'd walk of and leave your own partner stranded then her playing alone is a problem, because if it wasnt a problem you wouldnt feel the need to leave her, as you said if you had an arrangement to only play together and they ignored that and left you to go play with someone else after you'd agreed that wasnt what you was doing i can understand you being miffed, stil dont excuse you leaving a woman with no way to get home, but why say no problem when it obviously is?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

Sorry NN it was probably a poor choice of words to explain what I was meaning, thought my second post made it more clearer, obviously not.

If you were there as a couple to mutually play with others and one of you joined a third party, then the 3rd party objected to the 2nd partner joining in as well. Why on earth would the original partner carry on and ignore their own spouse?

Granny crumpet alluded to men treating their wives as chattels etc. But surely if somebody were to act like above then that is treating their husbands every bit as badly?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry NN it was probably a poor choice of words to explain what I was meaning, thought my second post made it more clearer, obviously not.

If you were there as a couple to mutually play with others and one of you joined a third party, then the 3rd party objected to the 2nd partner joining in as well. Why on earth would the original partner carry on and ignore their own spouse?

Granny crumpet alluded to men treating their wives as chattels etc. But surely if somebody were to act like above then that is treating their husbands every bit as badly? "

of course. i totally agree with you, if you set rules before you go out then in order for everyone top be happy the rules should be withheld

As for granny crumpets comments i feel was a little tongue in cheek lol either that or shes had some bad experiences with men in the past lol i used to swing as a couple with my husband for many years and i would never have expected him to ask to toucch me be it in our bed alone at night or in a swinging situation, he was my husband we has sex all the time asking if it was ok to touch me just wasnt someting that never enteried my mind, and he never beat me up nor kept me short of money, but then i was one of them modern women that worked for a living lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry NN it was probably a poor choice of words to explain what I was meaning, thought my second post made it more clearer, obviously not.

If you were there as a couple to mutually play with others and one of you joined a third party, then the 3rd party objected to the 2nd partner joining in as well. Why on earth would the original partner carry on and ignore their own spouse?

Granny crumpet alluded to men treating their wives as chattels etc. But surely if somebody were to act like above then that is treating their husbands every bit as badly?

of course. i totally agree with you, if you set rules before you go out then in order for everyone top be happy the rules should be withheld

As for granny crumpets comments i feel was a little tongue in cheek lol either that or shes had some bad experiences with men in the past lol i used to swing as a couple with my husband for many years and i would never have expected him to ask to toucch me be it in our bed alone at night or in a swinging situation, he was my husband we has sex all the time asking if it was ok to touch me just wasnt someting that never enteried my mind, and he never beat me up nor kept me short of money, but then i was one of them modern women that worked for a living lol"

cheeky mare !! nothing new about it .. women have always worked xx

P.S. Ive never had a bad experience with a man yet.... and no xxx i'd have never expected my husband to ask to touch me ... that would have been weird xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top