FabSwingers.com forum: First messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On behalf of everyone, I am so sorry.

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

I normally read the profile first and maybe ask a question re the profile

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

Hi op

Firstly I'd like to apologise for your experience of receiving abuse it isn't acceptable and needs to be reported as for teasing I think it's catchy battle of the sexists one of those winner takes all whose better at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are quite specific in what we are looking for any most of the time we get messages asking what we are looking for and usually we don't bother replying but on the odd occasion we will write back "read the profile it's a wealth of information". Not sure we can get clearer.

I used to have a single account but deleted it and only use this one now, the level of message has improved a little, I don't get so many "how's you" messages on here as I did on the old account.

Danish x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"On behalf of everyone, I am so sorry."

I'm thick skinned luckily so the personal attacks don't get me down but the men sending them don't know that, it could really affect others.

I mean I've sent messages not got a reply but never sent them a message saying their ugly or I'm too good for them anyway

It just surprises me that sone men moan about not being able to meet but then don't seem to think about what they message x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On behalf of everyone, I am so sorry.

I'm thick skinned luckily so the personal attacks don't get me down but the men sending them don't know that, it could really affect others.

I mean I've sent messages not got a reply but never sent them a message saying their ugly or I'm too good for them anyway

It just surprises me that sone men moan about not being able to meet but then don't seem to think about what they message x"

Again, I can only apologise.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Because it's Sex site and that's what they think we want to see/hear. I did actually have that convo with someone.

I dunno... Men... Because they can

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

Because they can, its normalised behaviour that has become acceptable, to objectify and see women as chattels and sexual commodities.

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By *enk15Man
over a year ago

Evesham

Some people are just utterly vile. I don't understand the mentality of hurling abuse at people and don't think I ever will.

For me, I don't send out that many messages as I make sure I've read the whole profile to make sure I could be what they are looking for, then try and figure how to write the first message that might grab their attention, then wait patiently for the reply

When one inevitably doesn't come I am back on the search and do it all again lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First messages are not that difficult,

If you read the profile, actually see what the person seeks and make a polite introduction then it’s all good.

I see it as saying hello at a Bar or a social gathering. You wouldn’t go up to a person with your cock out so why do that in a first message on this platform.

Key rule, someone saying you’re not for me is not a bad thing, just means they have the right to say no just like you do.

Simples!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"I normally read the profile first and maybe ask a question re the profile"

I wish this was more common. It would make fab so much better. I have made a keyboard short cut for please read my profile as I was typing it so often.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"First messages are not that difficult,

If you read the profile, actually see what the person seeks and make a polite introduction then it’s all good.

I see it as saying hello at a Bar or a social gathering. You wouldn’t go up to a person with your cock out so why do that in a first message on this platform.

Key rule, someone saying you’re not for me is not a bad thing, just means they have the right to say no just like you do.

Simples!

This I'm a believer of if you wouldn't say it in public don't say it in a message

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This wasn't an attack on men, I was trying to see the logic behind it x

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

"I normally read the profile first and maybe ask a question re the profile

I wish this was more common. It would make fab so much better. I have made a keyboard short cut for please read my profile as I was typing it so often. "

I still get ignored or deleted!

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By *ongandharderMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

I say hello talk about the persons account they took time to write I take time to read

And try to get conversation going

If they aren't interested I move on

No need to be rude or nasty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First messages are not that difficult,

If you read the profile, actually see what the person seeks and make a polite introduction then it’s all good.

I see it as saying hello at a Bar or a social gathering. You wouldn’t go up to a person with your cock out so why do that in a first message on this platform.

Key rule, someone saying you’re not for me is not a bad thing, just means they have the right to say no just like you do.

Simples!

This I'm a believer of if you wouldn't say it in public don't say it in a message

Well it’s just basic manners.

Example you wouldn’t go up to a lady and say something crass would you? ( Well I wouldn’t)

So just be respectful.

Honestly I don’t see what so hard about it

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By *X2019Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Can only apologise on behalf of some of the fab male species. I'd never start with a dick pic, as there's maybe a time and a place for that later down the line. I'd usually read their profile and message something regarding that, however think this sometimes gets lost or left unread in busy inboxes.

Guess its all about standing out in an opening message, which I think can be tough. Absolutely no excuse for sending a torrent of abuse to people though so I feel for everyone who has to tolerate those idiots

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By *age500Woman
over a year ago

ashton-under-lyne

I’ve honestly lost count of how many “men” have called me fat for simply not being interested. Unfortunately it happens to all of us, I really wouldn’t take it personally. They’ll just be trying to upset you to make themselves feel better about their bruised ego

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve honestly lost count of how many “men” have called me fat for simply not being interested. Unfortunately it happens to all of us, I really wouldn’t take it personally. They’ll just be trying to upset you to make themselves feel better about their bruised ego"

Would you really call these people men or merely children with what I call playground politics mindsets ……juvenile!

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By *age500Woman
over a year ago

ashton-under-lyne

Would you really call these people men or merely children with what I call playground politics mindsets ……juvenile! "

My thoughts exactly! Oddly enough, I don’t find myself regretting missing out on such a catch haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you really call these people men or merely children with what I call playground politics mindsets ……juvenile!

My thoughts exactly! Oddly enough, I don’t find myself regretting missing out on such a catch haha"

And there was me thinking you felt you were missing out and drowning one’s sorrows haha

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I answer politely address the points in theor bio don't send dick pics unless asked.

And still it makes not the slightest difference.

No I don't get abusive. Fed ip, discouraged and growing more and more cynical maybe but not abusive unless The woman answer me abusive back. If ghat happens I won't hold back.

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By *attedCurvyLassWoman
over a year ago

CASTLEFORD

Unfortunately there are many bad ones on here but there are many gems. I to get abusive messages if I don't want to meet and they do, it's childish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turning on message filters this week has been a revelation. The odd male that slips through who hasn't read the profile is fun to entertain though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Would you really call these people men or merely children with what I call playground politics mindsets ……juvenile!

My thoughts exactly! Oddly enough, I don’t find myself regretting missing out on such a catch haha"

Being told I'm ugly and fat makes me laugh they can't see my face or my body, I get it's a bruised ego thing, but something I'd never do x

I do just block now though x

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By *essaMayWoman
over a year ago

Fairytale Wood

Still endemic in society. Was having a drink with friend and a guy came upto my friend with complements then asked if she wanted to go to his room. She said no and then the abuse started, name calling etc etc. Funilly enough a guy came over and got in the guys face and he walked away still cursing. Anyway the guy apologised for his behaviour and offered to buy us both a drink ??? ... not saying anymore on that.

The point is that still too many guys think that to rufusevthem is disrespting them.

Here they pay their supporters fee and think it FAB prime benefit

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

There's absolutely no place for abuse, simply move on. It's a shame more people don't share their interests and hobbies though, would make it a lot easier to see if you have anything in common other than gangbangs

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Still endemic in society. Was having a drink with friend and a guy came upto my friend with complements then asked if she wanted to go to his room. She said no and then the abuse started, name calling etc etc. Funilly enough a guy came over and got in the guys face and he walked away still cursing. Anyway the guy apologised for his behaviour and offered to buy us both a drink ??? ... not saying anymore on that.

The point is that still too many guys think that to rufusevthem is disrespting them.

Here they pay their supporters fee and think it FAB prime benefit "

Very much endemic and normalised which is really sad, that it's still so ingrianed in society that it's ok to behave like that towards anyone.

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By *age500Woman
over a year ago

ashton-under-lyne

Would you really call these people men or merely children with what I call playground politics mindsets ……juvenile!

My thoughts exactly! Oddly enough, I don’t find myself regretting missing out on such a catch haha

Being told I'm ugly and fat makes me laugh they can't see my face or my body, I get it's a bruised ego thing, but something I'd never do x

I do just block now though x

It’s laughable isn’t it, it just gets to be like water off a ducks back after a while. As you said they can’t even see what you look like so they’re just clutching at straws!

Don’t pay them any attention, it’s you receiving all the offers, not them haha x

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Honestly the messages you get with the excuse "it's a sex site" is ridiculous, people behind a keyboard are much worse than reality.

Sorry you've had shitty messages.

The sense of self entitlement on here is rife, men think they can indecently expose themselves in your inbox and you'll want to jump right on it, it never happens, they wouldn't do it in the street but "it's a sex site" apparently makes it ok to be a cunt.

We generally find it easier at the organised social events, meeting people at face value is so much easier.

Maybe block guys and just message the ones your interested in, unfortunately I don't think the twats of the site will ever change.

Mrs

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I don't know why people send messages like that and I have no idea why anyone (and it's not just men) get abusive on here.

Equally though I don't get why men who don't act like that on here apologise for those who do.If you're not going it why apologise for others behaviour ? It's pointless.

I use filters and ignore the messages I get that I don't like or want. Not that I get a lot thanks to filters

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"But does anyone think before they send first messages?"

It's a question that often crops up when women message me: impassive one-word opening messages that often go into the black hole of my delete button.

"Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply"

There was one time when I took 5 minutes to reply because I was busy emptying the dishwasher and folding up the laundry. She went thermonuclear when I tried to explain.

#NormalLife

"Why make it so difficult and personal?"

Why indeed, dear ladies of the fab ecosystem...?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Would you really call these people men or merely children with what I call playground politics mindsets ……juvenile!

My thoughts exactly! Oddly enough, I don’t find myself regretting missing out on such a catch haha

Being told I'm ugly and fat makes me laugh they can't see my face or my body, I get it's a bruised ego thing, but something I'd never do x

I do just block now though x

It’s laughable isn’t it, it just gets to be like water off a ducks back after a while. As you said they can’t even see what you look like so they’re just clutching at straws!

Don’t pay them any attention, it’s you receiving all the offers, not them haha x"

It makes me laugh as it's the same men who complain they're not getting anywhere here, I wonder why ha x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP has a public close up dick pic on their profile. I assume it is possibly their gloved hand in the photo rather than their penis. I do not have a dick, or pictures thereof. But if I did I would assume that OP, more than most, might wish to see... "

Yes it's my hand not my dick, I don't find dick pics offensive it's the words that come with the pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

I have just sent you what I would send as a first message what do you think? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never send a dick picture for a first message I send a message saying I would like to have some fun with them if they are interested but not getting very far at the moment

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

I have just sent you what I would send as a first message what do you think? X"

Smooth

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By *ohntall123Man
over a year ago

Biggleswade

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

Personally I try and start the chat with something from their profile, and a face pic . Never ever with a dick pic and if they don’t reply I leave it there. Sorry youve had a few bad ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

I'd seriously pay no attention, it's just keyboard warriors and ego, obviously wouldn't have a problem if you were sat on their face, lever them to to be miserable and just crack on enjoying yourself and doing what you do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

On behalf of me, my first messages are always perfect in every way

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

While I'm not saying I understand some of the messages that are sent often the problem that regardless of the message it gets the same result.

Though if that is your personality and a message you would like to send then find your target audience.

Marc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

On behalf of me, my first messages are always perfect in every way "

It's the dick pic later on that might be an issue...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t send .. I do reply though

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Yes I'm the same i don't send introductory messages i leave that to them

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By *tticusukMan
over a year ago

Formby

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

Men just don’t like rejection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

Men just don’t like rejection "

Really? I mean every woman I know LOVES rejection.

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By *ohntall123Man
over a year ago

Biggleswade

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

Men just don’t like rejection

Really? I mean every woman I know LOVES rejection.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Look. We are on tinterweb. People are dicks when there is no filter. Men way more than women.

Of course they don't think. They don't need to.

I, personally, stop and think every time I look at a profile. I almost never message and when I do it's an aside comment, usually complimentary, about something positive.

Occasionally, on a good day, I will crack an amazing funny and habingvsaid hello, leave them to it.

The fact that most men (and some couples) are not nice at times is nothing to do with me. So I won't apologise for them. I will, however, encourage you to use your filters to stop there tards from being able to make you feel bad.

That's your defence. But its also your responsibility. Look after yourself, no-one else will.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Look. We are on tinterweb. People are dicks when there is no filter. Men way more than women.

Of course they don't think. They don't need to.

I, personally, stop and think every time I look at a profile. I almost never message and when I do it's an aside comment, usually complimentary, about something positive.

Occasionally, on a good day, I will crack an amazing funny and habingvsaid hello, leave them to it.

That's your defence. But its also your responsibility. Look after yourself, no-one else will.

I do use filters and have said previously they don't make me feel bad, I was just questioning why as its something I'd never do

Oh trust me I don't need anyone else to look after me I'm good on my own

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

[Removed by poster at 07/09/23 21:41:07]

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Because some people are emotionally inept and can't take rejection, so their only option is to respond with an insult. It's their misguided way of making them feel better by putting someone down, so they feel that they have the upper hand / power / control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see on here all the time that men have a rough time getting a meet/connection etc

But does anyone think before they send first messages?

Dick pics asking if it's any good, will you sit on my face and a general copy and paste are just a few I get.

Then I get abusive messages when I don't reply, I was recently told my fat will get me nowhere, I'm a tease and do I know what site I'm on

Why make it so difficult and personal ?

On behalf of me, my first messages are always perfect in every way

It's the dick pic later on that might be an issue...

I never ever do that xxx

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By *ondgirl 1000Woman
over a year ago

crowthorne

I just love the ones that say “you look great/amazing/sexy” when I have no pics showing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just love the ones that say “you look great/amazing/sexy” when I have no pics showing"

Must have a hyper imagination ...lol

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

Hi OP

sorry to hear you have had dodgy messages, that's so out of order, some people should feel thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

You'd think it would be easy to read the profile, and, if they can offer what you are seeking, just say Hi, I read your profile, I can offer you XYZ so maybe we could meet?

Instead it would seem they see the photos and want what they want and try and get it with FAF?

er, no.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"Look. We are on tinterweb. People are dicks when there is no filter. Men way more than women.

Of course they don't think. They don't need to.

I, personally, stop and think every time I look at a profile. I almost never message and when I do it's an aside comment, usually complimentary, about something positive.

Occasionally, on a good day, I will crack an amazing funny and habingvsaid hello, leave them to it.

That's your defence. But its also your responsibility. Look after yourself, no-one else will.

I do use filters and have said previously they don't make me feel bad, I was just questioning why as its something I'd never do

Oh trust me I don't need anyone else to look after me I'm good on my own "

I would venture thatvyour filters aren't strong enough. If ladies don't set their shields to "full" then, unless they are very robust, they will start to hate men.

At the very least, the continual stream of fucktard messages will start to wesr them down and taint their opinion of men.

The fact that you are so confused by their behaviour is a sign that you are a little jaded.

Block all men. Only talk to those who you feel an attraction to. Use the site for you, not the walkers who have no conscience or respect.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

I like to ask how far up my forearm i can get there vagina in advance